jbmagic check it out

[rkmsuf]

TODAY'S REVIEW
Battle of the Network Reality Stars
Tonight at 9,
Bravo.


Had tonight's "Battle of the Network Reality Stars" on Bravo been a one-shot special, it would be merely unwatchable. As the kickoff for a six-part reality competition series, it's unthinkable.

A few more bottom-of-the-barrel programs like this one, and the formerly highbrow network known as Bravo ought to change its name to Boo or Hiss.

The original "Battle of the Network Stars" specials, which began in 1976, were enjoyable - in those pre-cable, pre-reality-TV days - because they featured actual actors with recognizable faces running through their paces. There was genuine rivalry among the network teams from CBS, NBC and ABC, and the most popular sportscaster of the era, Howard Cosell, lampooned his own image as host.

Almost 30 years later, I still remember jock braggart Robert Conrad being bested in an unexpected and deliriously satisfying relay race by Gabe Kaplan. I also recall, even more deliriously, the opportunity to see such celebrity athletes as Farrah Fawcett, Lynda Carter and Adrienne Barbeau compete in, among other things, the dunking booth.

For Bravo's update, everything that made the first version fun is squeezed out. Instead of the inimitable Cosell, "Battle of the Network Reality Stars" (tonight at 9) has as its host the unmemorable Mike Adamle. (One of his sidekick field reporters is Omarosa Maginault Stallworth of "The Apprentice," who may generate the same level of hostility Cosell did, but she has not one iota of his intelligence.)

Instead of three teams of broadcastnetwork stars, it has four teams with a total of 32 reality-TV veterans. Six of them, maybe, you could pick out of a police lineup.

What little star and entertainment value there is in tonight's 90-minute opener is comes from Richard Hatch, who won the original "Survivor"; Charla Faddoul, the little person with the big heart from "The Amazing Race," and the barely bikinied Coral Smith of "The Real World," who keeps getting sent to the dunking booth (yes, it's back) for two obvious reasons.

Otherwise, the competitors are such "Why are they back?" players as Nikki McKibbin and Ryan Starr of "American Idol," Rachel Love Fraser of "The Swan," Matt Gould of "The Joe Schmo Show," and perhaps the lowest totem on this sad pole, Duncan Nutter of "Showbiz Moms & Dads."

Duncan Nutter? "Showbiz Moms & Dads"? How about "Showbiz Bits & Dregs"? Because in this series, that's who's who.

Imagine how sad it must be to be looked down upon by the 31 other members of this motley crew. Then imagine how much sadder it would be to actually watch this show tonight - much less for the next five weeks.

The camera work misses much of the action on the obstacle course, but when the action consists of these people and these activities, that's less a complaint than a relief. And when Michael Mizanin of "The Real World" reveals his strategy for the dunking booth (if he gets dunked, he's going to relieve himself in the water), you realize his 15 minutes of fame, like "Battle of the Network Reality Stars," has gone on too long.

Originally published on August 17, 2005

[jbmagic]

lol

looks cheesy.

i check it out

[jbmagic]

what the heck

i set my tivo for the Battle of the Network Reality Stars tonight.

but on bravo i seeing another reality show called "Being Bobby Brown"

i guess anybody can get a reality show these days

[rkmsuf]

I knew I could tickle your buying bone.

[korme]

I watched it, it was entertaining I guess.

[Vinatieri for Prez]

See here, post #10. Truly amazing. I too fondly remembered the Conrad-Kaplan showdown on the track. A classic TV moment. There must be a number of us out there.

http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~fof/foru...ghlight=kaplan

[Draft Dodger]

I accidently saw 5 seconds of this while flipping this morning...and I immediately felt like I needed to scrub my brain with bleach

[korme]

Whyd you change the title, rkm?

[rkmsuf]

Talking about another man wetting himself is bad karma. I was one step away from a fart turning into mudbutt.

[Raiders Army]

I'm ashamed to say I watched this last night. I'm more ashamed to say that I will probably watch the whole thing.

The best part was the winner of "The Swan" (Think extreme makeover beauty pageant on Fox) pugilstick fighting a midget that was on The Amazing Race. That was great.

[jbmagic]

Originally Posted by Raiders Army

I'm ashamed to say I watched this last night. I'm more ashamed to say that I will probably watch the whole thing.

The best part was the winner of "The Swan" (Think extreme makeover beauty pageant on Fox) pugilstick fighting a midget that was on The Amazing Race. That was great.

that was so funny

and the swan girl could not knock her off.

[Raiders Army]

What was even better was that the midget (Charla?) thought they were voting her out because they didn't like her! Come on! It's a physical challenge and you're going to take the midget in with you? I understand politically correctness and I understand fair play, but they were doing what was best for their team...and she cried about it!!!

[korme]

Originally Posted by Raiders Army

What was even better was that the midget (Charla?) thought they were voting her out because they didn't like her! Come on! It's a physical challenge and you're going to take the midget in with you? I understand politically correctness and I understand fair play, but they were doing what was best for their team...and she cried about it!!!

WORD

[Izulde]

I *heart* The Swan.

[Raiders Army]

Not quite as good as the first night, but an interesting twist of events. Next week looks better since it looks as if there's some drama on the gridiron.

Certain people annoy the shit out of me. I'm glad Charla is gone. "I can swim fast"???? Whatever. And then after it was over she said she should have done it.