Dumbest Lyrics of All-Time

[Ksyrup]

This topic comes from a rather long blog entry on one of my favorite music-related blogs, Jefitoblog.com. Basically, BBC 6 had a vote on the worst lyrics in pop history and gave voters 10 choices. Jefito didn't think they came close to picking the worst, and he gives his top choices and then the choices of another contributor to his blog.

I have to agree with Jefito that the Yes lyrics from Love Will Find a Way are hilariously awful in a WTF sense. I remember listening to that song and wondering if I misheard the last line, because it just didn't make any sense at all. Here's his discussion of it:


Yes, “Love Will Find a Way” — “Here is my heart / Waiting for you / Here is my soul / I eat at Chez Nous” Few lines in all of rock & roll communicate more casual contempt for the folks subsidizing the artist’s lifestyle than these. If they could have found a way to rhyme “Fuck it, I can’t think of anything, let’s go home,” they surely would have. Much more entertaining than this stupid, stupid song is this thread discussing all the possible meanings of “I eat at Chez Nous.” (My favorite: “The song appears to be about trying to stay together in the face of some problem. ‘Eating’ at ‘our place’ could mean simply that ‘I’ am not ‘fooling around’…’I’ stay home to eat. The sharing of food is a basic bonding activity and could infer other (more personal) bonding activities are being kept ‘at home’ also.” I love Yes fans!)

hxxp://jefitoblog.com/blog/?p=1198


So...what are our nominees? QS, any Billy Joel lyrics you care to nominate?

[Dr. Sak]

LFO Summer Girls. Just one little snippet of it...

Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
Your the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespere wrote a whole bunch of sonnets

[Kodos]

From what is otherwise Rod Stewart's best song, Maggie Mae:

All you did was wrecked my bed,
And in the morning kicked me in the head...

[mauchow]

Originally Posted by bsak16

LFO Summer Girls. Just one little snippet of it...

Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
Your the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespere wrote a whole bunch of sonnets

Still is a catchy song!

[gottimd]

"What its like...havin a Roni" Vanilla Ice

Beat Box
what its like..... havin a roni
Beat Box
what its like..... having a roni
Beat box
what its like havin a roni
Beat box
what its like... havin a roni
o yea vip in full effect

[Maple Leafs]

What's that song... "Cecillia" or something like that, where the guy gets up to wash his face and when he gets back someone's taken his place?

[Dr. Sak]

Cecillia by Simon and Garfunkle I think.

[Draft Dodger]

You took my love in the palm of your hand
An' showed me what a woman could do
Now I don't want sugar coated loving
Just silver tongue tenderness,
You gotta give me a certain satisfaction
The kind of love you seal with a kiss

And spit it out, spit it out, spit it out
If you don't like it
Spit it out, spit it out, spit it out
If you don't like it

[path12]

I bet the Russians love their children too.

I fucking hate Sting. But loved the Police. Go figure.

[DeToxRox]

"Girl you know it's - Girl you know it's - Girl you know it's - Girl you know it's"

[BrianD]

Anything by Avril Lavigne?

[Ksyrup]

These are pretty stupid lyrics, even for a band that wasn't trying to be deep:

The Darkness - Wanker
It was a hot day
(Woah)
And there were boobies Ahoy
I am a bastard
(Woah)
I've been a very naughty boy

[Atocep]

I'll take K-Fed.


Cause I keep gettin' into situations
That you wish you was in, cousin
I'm not your brother, I'm not your uncle, I'm Daddy do
Steppin' in this game and y'all ain't got a clue
My prediction is that y'all are gonna hate
On the style we create, straight 2008
But I know that you really can't wait
Because people always askin' me
When's the release date?
Well maybe, baby, you could wait and see
Until then all these Pavarattis followin' me
Gettin' anxious? Go take a peek
I'm starrin' in your magazines
Now every day and week

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by path12

I bet the Russians love their children too.

I fucking hate Sting. But loved the Police. Go figure.

Amen, brother.

[Draft Dodger]

sitting on a pebble by the river playing guitar...

[stevew]

Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche another roller in the night.

[bryce]

Two nominations:

Old Dirty Bastard:
"I don't have a problem with you fuckin' me
But I gotta little problem with you not fuckin' me"

And then Rob Base from "It Takes Two":
"Cause I'm Rob Base, the one who knows about things"
I think he continues to say what things he knows about, but the pause in the lyrics just makes it sounds like he knows about things. That's all, just things.

[bryce]

Originally Posted by stevew

Blinded by the light, wrapped up like a douche another roller in the night.

Hah, that's actually not quite it. It's really:

"Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night."

What it means, I have no idea, though...

[Maple Leafs]

Speaking on early 90's rap:

Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry
In five days from now he's going to marry
He's hoping you can make it there if you can
Cause in the ceremony, you'll be the best man.

Wait, what? Larry wants you to be the best man? He's not your best friend, Harry is. In fact it sounds like you barely know the guy. And why isn't he having his brother be best man? What kind of messed up family dynamics are going on here? He snubs his own brother, and chooses his brother's best friend? Talk about passive-aggressive. And what's with only giving you five day's notice? What kind of half-assed wedding is this?

[bryce]

Originally Posted by bsak16

Cecillia by Simon and Garfunkle I think.

I LOVE this song, seriously. Maybe not the best of lyrics, admittedly, but catchy as hell.

[stevew]

Originally Posted by bryce

Hah, that's actually not quite it. It's really:

"Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night."

What it means, I have no idea, though...

Oh, yeah, I know what it's supposed to be, but it still sounds like douche.

[Bearcat729]

Rapture

Fab Five Freddie told me everybody's high
DJ's spinnin' are savin' my mind
Flash is fast, Flash is cool
Francois sez fas, Flashe' no do
And you don't stop, sure shot
Go out to the parking lot
And you get in your car and you drive real far
And you drive all night and then you see a light
And it comes right down and lands on the ground
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercurys and Subarus
And you don't stop, you keep on eatin' cars
Then, when there's no more cars
You go out at night and eat up bars where the people meet
Face to face, dance cheek to cheek
One to one, man to man
Dance toe to toe
Don't move to slow, 'cause the man from Mars
Is through with cars, he's eatin' bars
Yeah, wall to wall, door to door, hall to hall
He's gonna eat 'em all
Rapture, be pure
Take a tour, through the sewer
Don't strain your brain, paint a train
You'll be singin' in the rain
I said don't stop, do punk rock

Well now you see what you wanna be
Just have your party on TV
'Cause the man from Mars won't eat up bars when the TV's on
And now he's gone back up to space
Where he won't have a hassle with the human race
And you hip-hop, and you don't stop
Just blast off, sure shot
'Cause the man from Mars stopped eatin' cars and eatin' bars
And now he only eats guitars, get up!

[TroyF]

didn't Paris Hilton release an album? Shouldn't she be on here somewhere?

OK, so I'm not actually going to research or listen to the lyrics. I just wondered if someone else had.

[Maple Leafs]

Actually, it's "Blinded by the light...Cut loose like a deuce, another starfish in the night..."

[stevew]

This far into a thread, and nobody's used Fred Durst yet?

[thesloppy]

Originally Posted by bryce

Two nominations:
And then Rob Base from "It Takes Two":
"Cause I'm Rob Base, the one who knows about things"
I think he continues to say what things he knows about, but the pause in the lyrics just makes it sounds like he knows about things. That's all, just things.

Excuse me?? 'It Takes Two' is pure genius, through and through.

Take it off the rack, if it's wack put it back,
I like the Whopper, fuck the Big Mac.

[Karlifornia]

Originally Posted by TroyF

didn't Paris Hilton release an album? Shouldn't she be on here somewhere?

OK, so I'm not actually going to research or listen to the lyrics. I just wondered if someone else had.

I am 100% certain she didn't write her own songs

[Maple Leafs]

We need a "greatest rap lyrics of all time" thread.

Although nothing will ever top "I put gum in my ass, 'cause I like to pop shit".

[Milton]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Actually, it's "Blinded by the light...Cut loose like a deuce, another starfish in the night..."

Actually, you're both wrong. It's "Blinded by the light, cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night..."

And a deuce is a Deuce Coupe. Like "Little Deuce Coupe".

[bryce]

Originally Posted by Milton

Actually, you're both wrong. It's "Blinded by the light, cut loose like a deuce, another runner in the night..."

And a deuce is a Deuce Coupe. Like "Little Deuce Coupe".

Pretty sure that's not right...

Went to the Manfred Mann homepage, here's the link:

hxxp://www.manfredmann.co.uk/music/lyrics/roaring.htm#blind

Lyrics:

Blinded by the light
Revved up like a Deuce
Another runner in the night
[repeat to fade]

Madman drummers bummers Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way in to his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder feeling kinda' older I tripped the merry go round
With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing the calliope crashed to the ground

The calliope crashed to the ground and she was blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.

Blinded by the light
Revved up like a Deuce
Another runner in the night
[repeat to fade]

Some silicone sister with her manager mister told me I got what it takes
She said I'll turn you on sonny to something strong play the song with the funky break
And go kart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart see if it was safe outside
And little Early Pearly came by in his curly wurly and asked me if I needed a ride

Asked me if I needed a ride
And she was blinded by the light
Revved up like a deuce
Another runner in the night

Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tight
She's gonna make it through the night
She's gonna make it through the night

Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun, but mama
That's where the fun is

Some brimstone baritone anti cyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
Says Dethrone the Dictaphone hit it in his funny bone and that's where they expect it least
And some new mown chaperone was standing in
The corner watching the young girls dance
And some fresh sewn moonstone was messing with his frozen zone reminding him of romance

The calliope crashed to the ground
And she was blinded by the light
revved up like a deuce
Another runner in the night

Blinded by the light
Revved up like a Deuce
Another runner in the night
[repeat to fade]

Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
and some bloodshot forget me not his daddy's within earshot save the buckshot turn up the band.

She got down but she never got tight she's gonna' make it through the night.

[Milton]

Originally Posted by bryce

Pretty sure that's not right...

Went to the Manfred Mann homepage, here's the link:

hxxp://www.manfredmann.co.uk/music/lyrics/roaring.htm#blind

Lyrics:

Blinded by the light
Revved up like a Deuce
Another runner in the night
[repeat to fade]

Madman drummers bummers Indians in the summer with a teenage diplomat
In the dumps with the mumps as the adolescent pumps his way in to his hat
With a boulder on my shoulder feeling kinda' older I tripped the merry go round
With this very unpleasing sneezing and wheezing the calliope crashed to the ground

The calliope crashed to the ground and she was blinded by the light,
revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.

Blinded by the light
Revved up like a Deuce
Another runner in the night
[repeat to fade]

Some silicone sister with her manager mister told me I got what it takes
She said I'll turn you on sonny to something strong play the song with the funky break
And go kart Mozart was checkin' out the weather chart see if it was safe outside
And little Early Pearly came by in his curly wurly and asked me if I needed a ride

Asked me if I needed a ride
And she was blinded by the light
Revved up like a deuce
Another runner in the night

Blinded by the light
She got down but she never got tight
She's gonna make it through the night
She's gonna make it through the night

Mama always told me not to look into the eyes of the sun, but mama
That's where the fun is

Some brimstone baritone anti cyclone rolling stone preacher from the east
Says Dethrone the Dictaphone hit it in his funny bone and that's where they expect it least
And some new mown chaperone was standing in
The corner watching the young girls dance
And some fresh sewn moonstone was messing with his frozen zone reminding him of romance

The calliope crashed to the ground
And she was blinded by the light
revved up like a deuce
Another runner in the night

Blinded by the light
Revved up like a Deuce
Another runner in the night
[repeat to fade]

Scott with a slingshot finally found a tender spot and throws his lover in the sand
and some bloodshot forget me not his daddy's within earshot save the buckshot turn up the band.

She got down but she never got tight she's gonna' make it through the night.

Those are the lyrics in the Manfred Mann song. Except he didn't write it. The boss of all bosses wrote it. And performed it first. And he wrote and sang "cut loose like a deuce".

[rkmsuf]

I think you are wrong. It's clearly douche.

[bryce]

Originally Posted by Milton

Those are the lyrics in the Manfred Mann song. Except he didn't write it. The boss of all bosses wrote it. And performed it first. And he wrote and sang "cut loose like a deuce".

Yea, I knew Bruce wrote it, though admittedly I didn't know he performed it with different lyrics. BUT I think it's obvious the original poster was referring to the Mann version...

[Ksyrup]

Can someone explain why Steve Miller found it necessarily to tell us that Big Jed had a light on?

[King of New York]

Dumb lyrics have been around for a very long time.

"You say yes, I say no
You say stop and I say go, go, go
Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello

I say high, you say low
You say why, and I say I don't know
Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello

Why, why, why, why, why, why
Do you say good bye
Goodbye, bye, bye, bye, bye

Oh, no
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye
I say hello
hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello
Hello

Hela, heba helloa
Hela, heba helloa "


Seriously, how long did it take to write that?

[Draft Dodger]

the fact that we can't even agree on what the lyrics should be makes it a winner.

[JasonC23]

From some dumb song on one of Shaq's "albums"...

"Where you at, Shaq?"
"I'm over here!"
(repeated ad nasuem)

Yeah, because it's totally hard to figure out where Shaq is.

[Milton]

Originally Posted by bryce

Yea, I knew Bruce wrote it, though admittedly I didn't know he performed it with different lyrics. BUT I think it's obvious the original poster was referring to the Mann version...

Probably. But he needed to be edumacated.

[rkmsuf]

De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
Their innocence will pull me through
De do do do, de da da da
Is all I want to say to you
De do do do, de da da da
They're meaningless and all that's true




wtf?

[Karlifornia]

rkmsuf is right. It's actually "Revved up like a douche". He's referring to a short-lived Summer's Eve Motorized Douche.

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by bryce

Two nominations:

Old Dirty Bastard:
"I don't have a problem with you fuckin' me
But I gotta little problem with you not fuckin' me"

I love this song, and I found this funny. He just says the same thing twice lol.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

rkmsuf is right. It's actually "Revved up like a douche". He's referring to a short-lived Summer's Eve Motorized Douche.

No. It's "wrung up like a loofa".

[Milton]

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

rkmsuf is right. It's actually "Revved up like a douche". He's referring to a short-lived Summer's Eve Motorized Douche.

Motorized Douche was my pledge name.

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Speaking on early 90's rap:

Your best friend Harry has a brother Larry
In five days from now he's going to marry
He's hoping you can make it there if you can
Cause in the ceremony, you'll be the best man.

Wait, what? Larry wants you to be the best man? He's not your best friend, Harry is. In fact it sounds like you barely know the guy. And why isn't he having his brother be best man? What kind of messed up family dynamics are going on here? He snubs his own brother, and chooses his brother's best friend? Talk about passive-aggressive. And what's with only giving you five day's notice? What kind of half-assed wedding is this?

LOL

[Logan]

There is only one song that can challenge the aforementioned "Summer Girls" by LFO.

I present "Chocolate Strawberry" by Darryl Strawberry:

Darryl Strawberry - Chocolate Strawberry (feat. Richie Rich, UTFO, Whistle)

[Run-D.M.C.] "My name is Darryl, but you can call me D, hit it!"

[singers]
Straw, Straw
Straw, Straw
Straw, Straw
Straw, Straw
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!

[Run-D.M.C.] "My name is Darryl, but you can call me D, hit it!"

[Whistle]
Early one morning I was driving to the stadium
WHO WAS IN THE CAR?
Well it was just Katie and me
Jazzy Jams and my DJ Silver Spinner
We were gonna take the Mets, the winners of the
World, Series
And that's for real
Darryl Strawberry, was warmin up on the field
The pitcher threw the pitch
and we all stared
as Darryl hit the ball
to Korea somewhere
WERE YOU AMAZED?
Man I was stunned
But then again that's why they won
You see Darryl he can hit, with his right and left
We're called Whistle, and Darryl is DEF!

[singers]
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!

[Run-D.M.C.] "My name is Darryl, but you can call me D, hit it!"

[UTFO]
Here we go!
Dr. Ice
And the Educated Rapper
Is here
to talk about
a particular type of batter

"My name is Darryl"
Strawberry
The slugger weighs a ton
He can hit
He can pitch
And even "Run!"

Four years in the major leagues, started at twenty-one
Had nothing, now, has plenty
Hundred home runs
Hundred stolen bases
Hundreds of fans with SMILES ON FACES
Mixmaster, is he the best by far? ...
UTFO, is in the place to be
With Darryl, "but you can call me D"

[singers]
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!

[Run-D.M.C.] "My name is Darryl, but you can call me D, hit it!"

[Darryl Strawberry]
My name is Darryl, I'm a baseball player
One thing I forgot to say-a
When I'm on the field I'm on top of the world
I get screams from all the girls (Dar-ryl!)
Everybody in the stadium, screams for me
Strike one, strike two, but no strike three
When I'm runnin, all the players make space
I run, I slide, and then I'm safe
"Cause you're DEF!" Yo, I ain't soft
I even get paid on my days off
Grandslammer, "Are you as good as they, say?"
I guess you never came to see me play
Any pitch you throw I control it
Lookin for third bass, yo I stole it, that's right
I took it while you wasn't lookin
So give me your beef, homeboy I'm cookin
I can get loose so don't you try
I graduated from Crenshaw High
You can even ask Eric 'Boogie' E
[Run-D.M.C.] "My name is Darryl, but you can call me D, hit it!"

[singers]
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!

[Richie Rich]
This is Richie Rich, comin to you live from Shea Stadium
And Darryl Strawberry's up to the plate
It's the wind up, a pitch, a high fly ball to deep center field
And back goes Davis, a-way back, to the warning track, it's gone!
How sweet it is!

[Run-D.M.C.] "My name is Darryl, but you can call me D, hit it!"

[interlude and some cutting and scratching]

[singers]
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry!

[Run-D.M.C.] "My name is Darryl, but you can call me D, hit it!"

[singers]
Strawberrrrr, Strawberry

[Fonzie]

Krokus' Screaming In The Night should be included in this discussion:

"Screaming in the night, fighting for my life, I'd die for you
I knew it all along, headed for the sun, our love was true (our love was true)
Screaming in the night, fighting for my life, I'd die for you
I knew it all along, headed for the sun, our love was true, oh"

[bulletsponge]

Originally Posted by Logan

There is only one song that can challenge the aforementioned "Summer Girls" by LFO.

I present "Chocolate Strawberry" by Darryl Strawberry:

its such a shame he snorted his Baseball AND rap career away

[Logan]

Like that song won't live in infamy.

[cthomer5000]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Actually, it's "Blinded by the light...Cut loose like a deuce, another starfish in the night..."

It depends on which version you're talking about. The lyrics are different in the SPringsteen vs. Mann versions.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by cthomer5000

It depends on which version you're talking about. The lyrics are different in the SPringsteen vs. Mann versions.

Look, can we all agree the song is about showering in some form?