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View Poll Results: How do you handle "night duty"? | |||
Trade off nights of responsibility. I have Monday, she/he has Tuesday, etc.... | 9 | 27.27% | |
Split the night | 12 | 36.36% | |
Wait until he/she wakes up, and then argue | 2 | 6.06% | |
We have a Trout Nanny | 10 | 30.30% | |
Voters: 33. You may not vote on this poll |
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02-27-2009, 12:48 PM | #1 | ||
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chicagoland
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FOFC Parents: How do you handle "Night Duty"?
Ever since the wife went back to work we've done the thing where every other night the other person has control of the baby monitor for when/if the little tyke wakes up. So, if it's my night and I hear him, I get out of bed and figure out what the issue is while my wife sleeps.
We tried splitting the night first, but that just ended up with me being anxious that I wouldn't get to sleep before it was "my turn" along with the fact that he usually wakes up in the 2nd half of the night anyway. So, this isn't an advice request post, just curious. Poll to follow. |
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02-27-2009, 12:52 PM | #2 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Dayton, OH
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My wife always went to bed early and I liked staying up late... so I would always take up through about 1-2 AM, then she would take the rest.
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My listening habits |
02-27-2009, 12:56 PM | #3 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Hog Country
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We have a child that will probably never grow out of requiring night duty, so we are pretty good at it by now. On normal nights, it is usually a trade-off, though she sometimes gets up before the sound wakes me up. If one of us doesn't have to get up early, they usually take more of the duty that evening. On extreme nights, one of us will just take the couch and let the other one get some sleep by closing the door and turning the fan on high. The factor that makes one take more duty than the other is next day work. If one has the opportunity to make up the sleep later, they will take more duty that night.
This all just happens and isn't something we talk about very much. We both just volunteer to take extra when we know it is needed. |
02-27-2009, 12:57 PM | #4 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Appleton, WI
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Since my wife is a stay-at-home mom, once I went back to work (took a few days off), she was more than happy to get up during the week. Then I would usually take one of the weekend nights. My daughter actually started sleeping through the night pretty quickly, so it was nice.
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Commissioner of the RNFL |
02-27-2009, 01:07 PM | #5 |
College Starter
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Buffalo, NY
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Seeing as how our babies were breastfed and I was the one with the breasts, I got night duty.
When our daughter was about a month old she had a tendency to have her wakeful time be at night until about one or two am. Since RendeR was/is a bit of a night-owl he would stay up with her and then bring her in to me when she was ready to nurse and go to sleep. |
02-27-2009, 01:14 PM | #6 |
Roster Filler
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Cicero
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soundproof walls are the answer
We traded nights, although it usually ended up with me getting up. Wife is a heavy sleeper (insert heavy jokes here). I am a light sleeper, so would always wake up for any sound, anywhere in the house. It was just usually easier to tend them than wake her up.
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02-27-2009, 01:15 PM | #7 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Winnipeg, MB
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I'm the proud papa of a 2 week old boy, so I'm just learning the ropes of all this. My wife tends to let me sleep most of the night, because:
a) She's breastfeeding so I can't really help with that anyways; and b) She doesn't have to go to work in the morning So the pattern, such that one can exist 2 weeks in, is for me to change the little guy 0-1 times during the night, and maybe help swaddle him once or twice since I seem a little more skilled at keeping Houdini wrapped up tight. I'm certain things will have to change in a year when my wife goes back to work, so I'm interested to see the pros/cons of the sharing systems you guys are using.
__________________
"Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime." |
02-27-2009, 01:20 PM | #8 | |
College Starter
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Buffalo, NY
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Quote:
Canada has such a wonderful maternity leave system. I was only out for six weeks after the birth because that's all that I would get paid for. Once the baby's a year old, night waking should be pretty rare so you really shouldn't have to worry about how to share nighttime duties at that point. Ours are a little older now (4 and 2.5) and if one of them wakes during the night from a nightmare or something it pretty much comes down to who hears them first. |
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02-27-2009, 01:22 PM | #9 |
Unregistered
Join Date: May 2004
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02-27-2009, 01:54 PM | #10 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Black Hole
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I think I've changed two diapers and never gotten up in the middle of the night. That's three kids. Wife does it all. I can't breastfeed, so that rules out feeding them.
Also, I have to work and she doesn't so that's how it is. |
02-27-2009, 01:54 PM | #11 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Black Hole
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Dola, and the best strategy is to wake up but not wake up if you know what I mean.
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02-27-2009, 02:01 PM | #12 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Jack Daniels
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I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
02-27-2009, 02:17 PM | #13 | |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
Much truth in that, I recognize it well. I developed an uncanny knack for finding a missing pacifier at 3 am without ever truly waking up. Was the only situation in my life where I could navigate across a room in the dark with my eyes closed & never stumble over a thing.
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
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02-27-2009, 02:29 PM | #14 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Maryland
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With our first (my son), I made my wife a "coupon" worth X number of nighttime wakeups. Turns out she didn't need it - I handled all nighttime feedings for him. Pretty much put him to sleep with his bottle on my lap until he was 2 1/2, too.
My wife ended up handling the duties on my daughter though. But if memory serves, that was MUCH less often. My daughter was a ton easier to get to bed (if I placed my son in his crib just not *quite* right, BAM! -- back to square one) and slept through the night most of the time. I'm still the bedtime guy. Get them cleaned up, get them brushed, tuck them in. I'm the guy.
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02-27-2009, 02:33 PM | #15 |
College Prospect
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: An Oregonian deep in the heart of Texas.
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I’m in the same boat as you Fidatelo, my son was born Feb. 9th.
I have learned through repetition to do the following in under 5 minutes total: wake up, take off a diaper, get pissed on, put diaper on, change his clothes, burp him, getting puked on, put him down, find pacifier, change my clothes, wash my hands, and fall back asleep. Two weeks ago this would have taken me several hours, at least. In fact I think I’ve taken a few naps while writing this post. |
02-27-2009, 02:38 PM | #16 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chicagoland
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Perhaps the biggest benefit so far of having a 6-month old (well, besides the obvious) is that I'm so sleep-deprived that I can fall asleep at the drop of a hat. No more insomnia for me.
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02-27-2009, 02:39 PM | #17 | |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Winnipeg, MB
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Quote:
It blows me away that you guys only get 6-8 weeks off, that just seems so wrong. Sure, physically the mom is probably ready to get back to the workplace, but a 2-month old in daycare? Another nice thing is the ability for father's to take leave as well. For example, my wife is going to take the first 11 months, and then I will take the last month of leave so that I can both get an appreciation for what it is like and also to get to spend some quality time with the boy. On the flip side, it's fucking cold up here!
__________________
"Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime." |
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02-27-2009, 02:42 PM | #18 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chicagoland
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My wife pooled Paid Time Off with FMLA leave with short-term disability with just plain not working to finagle 4 months off, which was cool.
I just told my company I was going to take a month off unpaid and they were accomodating. It was very sad to put him into daycare after 4 months, but that's how it goes. Luckily he seems to enjoy daycare (he's pretty interactive). Unluckily he's picking up every germ on the planet. |
02-27-2009, 02:50 PM | #19 |
Unregistered
Join Date: May 2004
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02-27-2009, 02:52 PM | #20 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Edinburg,TX
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The wife will breast feed when the new one is here, so she got's to handle that. I am told I will have to change the diapers though since it will be a boy. For some reason the fact that I have a penis means it is more acceptable for me to get pissed on.
We stay up until 2-3 AM on a regular basis anyways, even my daughter. I just woke up an hour and a half ago after staying up until 6 AM. Late morning duty is the bigger problem.
__________________
You Stole Fizzy Lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and steralized, so you get NOTHING! You lose! Last edited by Cringer : 02-27-2009 at 02:52 PM. |
02-27-2009, 03:17 PM | #21 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Dayton, OH
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I used to barter sex for the wife getting to sleep all night.
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02-27-2009, 03:20 PM | #22 | |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
LOL at how sort of familiar that logic sounds. I finally decided it was really because the whole thing was somehow my fault.
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
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02-27-2009, 03:21 PM | #23 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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My wife didn't go back to her profession after our 1st was born so, typically I would stay up late (1 AM) and handle anything that came up and then after that she took responsibility for Sun-Thu night and we split it up on the weekends. (Unless of course it was really hectic and then I got up to help.
__________________
You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
02-27-2009, 03:31 PM | #24 | |
College Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Quote:
+1
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... |
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02-27-2009, 03:37 PM | #25 | |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Cary, NC
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Quote:
You need to improve your technique. Have the second diaper ready to go, and lay it down as you pull the other one off. Don't forget the third diaper for when the second one gets immediately filled...
__________________
-- Greg -- Author of various FOF utilities |
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02-27-2009, 03:38 PM | #26 |
Torchbearer
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: On Lake Harriet
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This reminds me of my friend's system for dividing up the chores.
He says that every time the baby needs changing, he and his wife have a game to determine whose turn it is to do the chore. You look down below your waist, and if you have a penis, it's not your turn. |
02-27-2009, 03:43 PM | #27 | |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Edinburg,TX
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Quote:
I will keep that in mind. Mini-me isn't here for another few months and our first one was a girl so I haven't had to experience it yet. We are just in preliminary talks right now.
__________________
You Stole Fizzy Lifting drinks! You bumped into the ceiling which now has to be washed and steralized, so you get NOTHING! You lose! |
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02-27-2009, 03:58 PM | #28 | |
College Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Quote:
My advice: Start planting the seeds of incompetence now.
__________________
... |
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02-27-2009, 04:34 PM | #29 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Maryland
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Quote:
That or the seeds of incontinence - you'll learn how to change a diaper in half the time.
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null |
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02-27-2009, 05:08 PM | #30 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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I think the title should be changed to 'Night Doody'
__________________
You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
02-27-2009, 05:44 PM | #31 |
Mascot
Join Date: Nov 2006
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02-27-2009, 05:48 PM | #32 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Jul 2001
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02-27-2009, 07:53 PM | #33 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Black Hole
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You save a bunch of money breastfeeding. And if you ever get stuck somewhere, at least you can get something to eat/drink for free.
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02-27-2009, 08:45 PM | #34 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Buffalo, NY
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I was in the Navy when my first two kids were born and I saw little to nothing of them during their first years. Then that marriage fell apart.
This itme around I've had the joy of being a stay at home dad for much of their first few years and I'm loving every minute of it. Oh yeah I get pissed at them sometimes, but they light me up inside and make all the bullshit worthwhile. I love being a dad. |
02-27-2009, 08:57 PM | #35 | ||
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chicagoland
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Mine too, apparently. Quote:
Plus a whole pile of burp cloths nearby for when the shit really starts hitting the fan (to keep it from really hitting the fan, of course). Quote:
Does that work? I'm going to have to try that. If I'm not back online by Monday you'll know it went badly. |
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02-27-2009, 10:15 PM | #36 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Bath, ME
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I didn't see an option I could pick. My wife breastfeeds, so obviously she's on call for that. I'm basically on duty for getting up and getting the youngest when he wakes up, getting up and dealing with the oldest if he wakes up for anything. And I usually put them to sleep. We tend to alternate who needs to get up with them versus who sleeps in but the rest is a mix of us both really.
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02-27-2009, 11:47 PM | #37 | |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Winnipeg, MB
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Quote:
Some day this plan could backfire in a really horrible way.
__________________
"Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime." |
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02-28-2009, 03:50 AM | #38 |
SI Games
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Melbourne, FL
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I always did night duty the vast majority of the time - simply I need less sleep than my wife and normally wake up at the slightest sound, thus if I was awake and mobile I did it ... if I wasn't then she knew I'd blown a gaskit and really needed sleep so she did.
(generally when my kids were young I only needed around 4 hours sleep a night, these days I don't think I could handle things quite as easily) |
02-28-2009, 07:27 AM | #39 |
Pro Rookie
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Macomb, MI
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02-28-2009, 08:02 AM | #40 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Ashburn, VA
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My mom took me to her work in a laundry basket. I have never asked what happened when she needed to go into the lab (at the time, she was doing bio research stuff with rat brains). I don't know how long she stayed home with my brother and sister (was really too young to have a feeling for that), but I know at some point we started daycare-ish...we got taken to some woman's house. It was us and her kids, I think. I vaguely remember. Nothing else to add about kids, I don't have any. When somebody starts a thread on satellite baby-sitting, then I'll chime in. /tk
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02-28-2009, 09:49 AM | #41 | |
Unregistered
Join Date: May 2004
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Quote:
So your mom's a bio engineer and you're a rocket scientist? That's pretty interesting. |
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01-12-2010, 02:37 PM | #42 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Chicagoland
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UPDATE:
Sixteen months in, and we continue to do alternating nights, though it is hardly necessary anymore, since the kid sleeps well. Plus, as we learned last summer when he: a) slept through thunderstorms b) slept through the dog barking at thunderstorms you could light a bomb under this kid and he'd not wake up. I'd say every 3 week or so there's a random waking in the middle of the night, but he goes back to sleep pretty easily. Down at 7:00, up at 5:30 - we're pretty lucky (I'm tempting fate, aren't I?). The only other thing I'd mention is that a while back we also added "alternate weekend sleeping in" days to the mix. So, if you have Friday night, then you get up with the kid at 5:30 on Saturday morning, allowing the partner to "sleep in" until, say, 8:30 - 9:00. And then the partner has duty on Saturday night and you get to "sleep in" on Sunday. Works great. And will be completely ruined if we have a second child, of course. |
01-12-2010, 03:45 PM | #43 |
College Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
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With our first, I would handle everything before 2:30 AM and my wife took the calls after. It worked pretty well because she is an early riser and I am a night owl.
We strictly breastfed our most recent arrival, so my role in response was limited. Now, at just under 4 months, she is sleeping through the night most nights, so no one is on the hook in general. It may seem like I got a really good deal with the second child, but there is a catch. Once the breast is no longer involved, I get every night issue, regardless of time. I can fall back to sleep after becoming fully awake; my wife can't. So all the nightmares, barfs and insomnias are my problem and will be for as long as my girls are at home. |
01-12-2010, 03:46 PM | #44 |
Retired
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Fantasyland
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I work outside the house. She works inside the house. I earn the money. She takes care of the baby.
Her job is more important. I win. Last edited by Blackadar : 01-12-2010 at 03:47 PM. |
01-12-2010, 04:30 PM | #45 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
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I never lived with my daughter.
From what my sister tells me about how things work with her 1 1/2 year old, her husband watches TV in the back room with the dog while she keeps the baby quiet so he can get his rest. |
01-12-2010, 06:53 PM | #46 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Syracuse, NY
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01-12-2010, 07:05 PM | #47 |
College Prospect
Join Date: Jul 2001
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I stay up all night anyway, and she doesn't.
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01-12-2010, 08:09 PM | #48 |
Coordinator
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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+1 here
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Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL |
01-12-2010, 08:10 PM | #49 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Quote:
ABSO_FRICKIN_LUTELY
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Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL |
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01-12-2010, 09:13 PM | #50 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Apr 2005
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Quote:
You get a whole year for maternity leave? Paid (Is that by the gov't or by the employer)? Is this for every child you have? |
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