Just sharing...

Ben E Lou · 09-05-2003, 04:32 PM

Tonight is the first home game of the football season. They are officially dedicating the game to Hannah. (You can find a thread with the full story HERE.) I have been asked to read the dedication over the P.A., then offer a prayer. This, and another incident that happened a couple of weeks ago, have made me realized that I haven't fully dealt with the situation for myself. When I originally heard the news, I was at camp with over 50 adolescents from our community, including two very good friends of Hannah's. I think I immediately went into "ministry mode"--being more concerned about how I was going to break the news to the kids and care for them rather than dealing with it for myself. My wife was also out of town on a girls' weekend at the beach, so I had to call and tell her the awful news as well. (Hannah was a kid who was VERY much on Jennifer's heart.) Then, Jen and I both got home the night before the funeral, and kids were calling and coming over ot the house to hang out and process their grief. I don't think I ever allowed myself to grieve personally over this, and it is just starting to come out now I think.

The event that happened a couple of weeks ago was really tough. I was adjusting my database of kids for the new school year. (moving the graduates into an alumni list, moving the new freshmen from the middle school list to the high school list, etc.) I was doing this in preparation for sending a couple of mailouts to kids. I utterly froze when I got to Hannah's name. I knew what needed to be done, but somehow it just didn't seem right to do it. I certainly couldn't be so insensitive as to continue to send mail to their home, but the alternative seemed even worse. Finally, with tears welling up, I did what had to be done.

I deleted her name completely from the database.

In 15 years of doing this, I've NEVER deleted a kid while they were in high school. I know that in that I've beaten the odds, but it was still a very surreal experience. I hope and pray I never have to do it again. Anyway, for those so inclined, I'd sure appreciate your prayers tonight. I'm not looking forward to this.

--Ben

Vince · 09-05-2003, 04:38 PM

So sorry Ben. My thoughts are with you and yours tonight.

Franklinnoble · 09-05-2003, 04:39 PM

I can think of no greater tragedy, and no more painful sort of grief, than having to bury one of your children. I wanna go home and give my son a hug now...

CamEdwards · 09-05-2003, 04:41 PM

Skydog,

You're absolutely in my prayers, as are Hannah's family and friends. I simply can't imagine losing one of my three kids. I pray I never have to experience that.

Good luck tonight, and God bless.

SirFozzie · 09-05-2003, 04:46 PM

SkyDog:

Good luck man. It's not going to be easy.. but it's going to help.

thealmighty · 09-05-2003, 05:31 PM

Good luck with what you have to do, but while it will be difficult and emotional, draw strength from the knowledge of why it is you that this has fallen to. It is a great honor, it seems to me, to be asked to do something like this for Hannah, her family and the community as a whole. God bless.

Senator · 09-05-2003, 05:32 PM

When things like this have required me to have a role I did not relish; God has always lifted me up to handle the moment. He knows you are a strong person and are looked up to by the youth of your community, and he will see you through this, as I am sure you know.

Mourning and grieving is something I do not do very well, and I always thought it was a sign of strength for me to remain stiff upper lipped. Now as I get older, I see it is a weakness in me and not a trait to be proud of.

Good luck tonight. It is sad that the greatness of life has to have moments like this at all.

Buccaneer · 09-05-2003, 06:39 PM

There is a place for public prayers, even at school-sanctioned events, despite what critics say. Be filled.

FrogMan · 09-05-2003, 06:57 PM

sad story, still touches me everytime I see that thread bumped to the top and I don't even know the girl. I can't even imagine how sad it can be for you. You're in my thoughts, Ben...

FrogMan

samifan24 · 09-05-2003, 07:39 PM

You have my prayers tonight, Ben. I hope you find peace. Those kids and that community are lucky to have you, please just take care of yourself after you're done taking care of everyone else. Good luck tonight.

JonInMiddleGA · 09-05-2003, 07:52 PM

Prayers for you and the others trying to cope with this situation.
May you all find peace.

GrantDawg · 09-05-2003, 09:20 PM

My prayers are with you. I know you did well.

cuervo72 · 09-05-2003, 10:02 PM

Ben, I'm sure you did Hannah proud.

MizzouRah · 09-05-2003, 11:04 PM

My prayers are with you as well.

Take care.

Todd

Ben E Lou · 09-05-2003, 11:15 PM

Update:

My voice cracked and I had to speak through tears for the last few sentences, but it was appropriate. The cheerleaders lined up as they would have with Hannah there, with her megaphone in place, filled with flowers. Here's the text I ended up with:

Quote:

We'd like to take a moment to remember a dear friend, classmate, family member and teammate....Hannah Elizabeth Dodd.

Hannah's friendly nature and cheerful disposition made her special not only to her Tucker High SChool family but to many from the St. Pius family of students and parents as well. So, tonight, we all feel the loss.....yet we share in the joy of knowing such a delightful young lady as Hannah Dodd.

We have not forgotten...

Hannah's cheerleading megaphone stands in her place on the track.

We have not forgotten...

Hannah's initials have their place on the back of each Tiger football helmet.

We have not forgotten...

Our friend, our teammate, our Hannah. We remember, with a smile in our hearts.

Then, after a brief prayer, a little sophomore girl with a voice like an angel sang the National Anthem a capella. It was absolutely stirring. I don't think there was a dry eye in the place when it was over.

I felt lucky to get to do it.

MizzouRah · 09-05-2003, 11:34 PM

Nicely said. I don't know how you did it, just reading your post made me sad. You're a strong person and definitly someone who is admired by many after your speech tonight.

Wow, truly sad.

Todd

GrantDawg · 09-06-2003, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by SkyDog
Update:

My voice cracked and I had to speak through tears for the last few sentences, but it was appropriate. The cheerleaders lined up as they would have with Hannah there, with her megaphone in place, filled with flowers. Here's the text I ended up with:

Then, after a brief prayer, a little sophomore girl with a voice like an angel sang the National Anthem a capella. It was absolutely stirring. I don't think there was a dry eye in the place when it was over.

I felt lucky to get to do it.

Goosebumps just reading.

General Mike · 09-06-2003, 12:55 AM

I read through the original thread for the 1st time just now, and I have to say how sad it made me feel. It reminds me of a situation that happened with a friend of my brother. I don't really know what else to say.

09-05-2003, 04:38 PM	#2
Vince Pro Starter Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Willow Glen, CA	So sorry Ben. My thoughts are with you and yours tonight. __________________ Every time a Dodger scores a run, an angel has its wings ripped off by a demon, and is forced to tearfully beg the demon to cauterize the wounds.The demon will refuse, and the sobbing angel will lie in a puddle of angel blood and feathers for eternity, wondering why the Dodgers are allowed to score runs.That’s not me talking: that’s science. McCoveyChronicles.com.

09-05-2003, 04:41 PM	#4
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	Skydog, You're absolutely in my prayers, as are Hannah's family and friends. I simply can't imagine losing one of my three kids. I pray I never have to experience that. Good luck tonight, and God bless. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

09-05-2003, 04:46 PM	#5
SirFozzie Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: The State of Insanity	SkyDog: Good luck man. It's not going to be easy.. but it's going to help. __________________ Check out Foz's New Video Game Site, An 8-bit Mind in an 8GB world! http://an8bitmind.com

09-05-2003, 05:31 PM	#6
thealmighty Pro Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: heaven	Good luck with what you have to do, but while it will be difficult and emotional, draw strength from the knowledge of why it is you that this has fallen to. It is a great honor, it seems to me, to be asked to do something like this for Hannah, her family and the community as a whole. God bless. __________________ Check out The Unofficial FOFC Movie Guide Here

09-05-2003, 05:32 PM	#7
Senator FOFC's Elected Representative Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The stars at night; are big and bright	When things like this have required me to have a role I did not relish; God has always lifted me up to handle the moment. He knows you are a strong person and are looked up to by the youth of your community, and he will see you through this, as I am sure you know. Mourning and grieving is something I do not do very well, and I always thought it was a sign of strength for me to remain stiff upper lipped. Now as I get older, I see it is a weakness in me and not a trait to be proud of. Good luck tonight. It is sad that the greatness of life has to have moments like this at all. __________________ "i have seen chris simms play 4-5 times in the pros and he's very clearly got it. he won't make a pro bowl this year, but it'll come. if you don't like me saying that, so be it, but its true. we'll just have to wait until then" imettrentgreen "looking at only ten games, and oddly using a median only, leaves me unmoved generally" - Quiksand

09-05-2003, 04:39 PM	#3
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	I can think of no greater tragedy, and no more painful sort of grief, than having to bury one of your children. I wanna go home and give my son a hug now...

09-05-2003, 06:39 PM	#8
Buccaneer Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Colorado	There is a place for public prayers, even at school-sanctioned events, despite what critics say. Be filled.

09-05-2003, 06:57 PM	#9
FrogMan Hattrick Moderator Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Pintendre, Qc, Canada	sad story, still touches me everytime I see that thread bumped to the top and I don't even know the girl. I can't even imagine how sad it can be for you. You're in my thoughts, Ben... FrogMan __________________ A Black Belt is a White Belt who refused to give up... follow my story: The real life story of a running frog...

09-05-2003, 07:39 PM	#10
samifan24 Pro Starter Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: NC	You have my prayers tonight, Ben. I hope you find peace. Those kids and that community are lucky to have you, please just take care of yourself after you're done taking care of everyone else. Good luck tonight. __________________ "You spend a good piece of your life gripping a baseball...and in the end it turns out that it was the other way around all the time." -Jim Bouton

09-05-2003, 07:52 PM	#11
JonInMiddleGA Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA	Prayers for you and the others trying to cope with this situation. May you all find peace. __________________ "I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis

09-05-2003, 09:20 PM	#12
GrantDawg World Champion Mis-speller Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Covington, Ga.	My prayers are with you. I know you did well.

09-05-2003, 10:02 PM	#13
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	Ben, I'm sure you did Hannah proud. __________________ null

09-05-2003, 11:04 PM	#14
MizzouRah Hall Of Famer Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Troy, Mo	My prayers are with you as well. Take care. Todd

09-05-2003, 11:34 PM	#16
MizzouRah Hall Of Famer Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Troy, Mo	Nicely said. I don't know how you did it, just reading your post made me sad. You're a strong person and definitly someone who is admired by many after your speech tonight. Wow, truly sad. Todd

09-06-2003, 12:55 AM	#18
General Mike Pro Starter Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: The State of Rutgers	I read through the original thread for the 1st time just now, and I have to say how sad it made me feel. It reminds me of a situation that happened with a friend of my brother. I don't really know what else to say.

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