Laughter needed

RendeR · 08-06-2009, 02:54 PM

Someone make me laugh before I go postal on Verizon's ass. I hate being blatantly lied to over the phone. having worked a phone service before I know how they run and its frustrating as hell when they get their script going and refuse to step out of it even in the glaring evidence of their own files telling them they're wrong.

Then to tell me there is no one higher that can assist me at 3 fucking PM in the afternoon is just fucking frosting on my ass.

Smug condescending BITCH sat tehre in her cube and lied through her teeth about the situation (which I know because the technician I spoke to yesterday went through every step of the issue and admitted they made the error)

Color me pissed off. Make me laugh, I don't want to maim anyone today.

Telle · 08-06-2009, 02:58 PM

Don't suppose there's a marathon of "Finneus and Ferb" running right now that you can turn on?

jetpunk2000 · 08-06-2009, 02:59 PM

I fucking hate Verizon customer service. Is it FIOS or wireless? FIOS service is useless. Sorry, no laughs from me, just feel your pain lol.

Lorena · 08-06-2009, 02:59 PM

larrymcg421 · 08-06-2009, 03:00 PM

Why was Fred Flintstone mad when a Hurricane hit bedrock?

He found Wilma under Rubble.

TCY Junkie · 08-06-2009, 03:00 PM

Maybe talking on the phone to Verizon is not for you.

Lorena · 08-06-2009, 03:03 PM

Guy and a girl get freaky in a car and when they finish the guy gets the condom and throws it out the window. Little kid passes by, gets it and sells it. He runs home and says, "Momma momma momma guess what? I sold a Twinkie but I tricked them cuz I ate the inside!"

Lorena · 08-06-2009, 03:07 PM

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

gstelmack · 08-06-2009, 03:13 PM

Go down to your local Verizon sales kiosk/store/whatever and they'll probably be able to help you. That's where the good reps work...

Mustang · 08-06-2009, 03:20 PM

Why do elephants wear springs on their feet?

So they can jump up and rape monkeys

What sound do moneys hate the most?

Boooiiinnnggg... Boooiiinnnggg... Boooiiinnnggg.

Knock knock
Who's there?
The interrupting cow
The inter.. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Travis · 08-06-2009, 03:23 PM

hxxp://www.paulbrownshow.com/Portals/0/audio/paul_brown_fredplaymate.mp3

Background

Paul Brown/Yukon Jack/Gillian Foote host the morning show on a local radio station here (the Bear). Fearless Fred is the drive time host (unfortunately leaving after tomorrow to go to a job in Toronto) and the subject of the story in the audio link above.

RendeR · 08-06-2009, 03:29 PM

It was Long distance/normal phone service and I shouldn't go near anything labeled Verizon right now, but thanks for reminding me they have employees in kiosks =)

Lorena, you're disturbed and disgusting, I think I love you =)

thanks folks, needed something to break the tension =)

Izulde · 08-06-2009, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gstelmack

Go down to your local Verizon sales kiosk/store/whatever and they'll probably be able to help you. That's where the good reps work...

FWIW, I've found in my hometown that the kiosk employees are absolutely worthless, but the store employees are good.

So YMMV.

M GO BLUE!!! · 08-06-2009, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gstelmack

Go down to your local Verizon sales kiosk/store/whatever and they'll probably be able to help you. That's where the good reps work...

Greyroofoo · 08-06-2009, 07:07 PM

So a duck walks into a sore and orders some chapstick. The cashier says, "Sure, it'll be a buck". The duck replies, "I don't have the cash, just put it on my bill."

Lathum · 08-06-2009, 07:21 PM

Call verizon once. If you don't get what you want call twice. If you don't get what you want call 4 times. Keep doubling each call. Guarented you get what you want in end.

JediKooter · 08-06-2009, 11:30 PM

Welcome to Hollywood!!!!

larrymcg421 · 08-06-2009, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

Call verizon once. If you don't get what you want call twice. If you don't get what you want call 4 times. Keep doubling each call. Guarented you get what you want in end.

If it still doesn't work, then Verizon may not be provider for you.

JeeberD · 08-07-2009, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

Lorena, you're disturbed and disgusting, I think I love you =)

I thought you two weren't on speaking terms. Glad to see that dirty jokes can bring you back together...

mckerney · 08-07-2009, 02:35 AM

thesloppy · 08-07-2009, 02:47 AM

Greyroofoo · 08-07-2009, 07:55 AM

This always cheers me up

Mustang · 08-07-2009, 07:59 AM

Greyroofoo · 08-07-2009, 08:02 AM

Yoda has moves as well

RomaGoth · 08-07-2009, 08:41 AM

Wish I could bust a move like Vader.....

RendeR · 08-07-2009, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mustang

Winner, this one cracked me up =)

RendeR · 08-07-2009, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeeberD

I thought you two weren't on speaking terms. Glad to see that dirty jokes can bring you back together...

Eh, she just hates my opinions on the value of certain persons and things now and then. I still think she's adorable

RomaGoth · 08-07-2009, 08:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

Eh, she just hates my opinions on the value of certain persons and things now and then. I still think she's adorable

Awwwww.......

RomaGoth · 08-07-2009, 09:09 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L8kd...layer_embedded

Lorena · 08-07-2009, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JeeberD

I thought you two weren't on speaking terms. Glad to see that dirty jokes can bring you back together...

Well, even though we don't see eye to eye on many things, he's someone going through something unpleasant, I can sympathize!

path12 · 08-07-2009, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

Call verizon once. If you don't get what you want call twice. If you don't get what you want call 4 times. Keep doubling each call. Guarented you get what you want in end.

Hmmm. That sounds like something that could work at the blackjack table.

cartman · 08-07-2009, 02:13 PM

A little boy and little girl are playing in a park. The girl asks the boy, "What's a penis?". The little boy didn't know, but said he'd find out.

When he got home from the park, his mom was cooking dinner. He asked, "Mom, what's a penis?" The mom got flustered and said "Go ask your dad".

The father had just gotten done taking a shower after mowing the yard, and was wearing only a towel when the son walked in and asked "Dad, what is a penis?" So the father said "Son, I'll do better than tell you what a penis is, I'll show you one." He drops his towel and says "Son, this is a penis. Take a good look, as this one is perfect."

So the next day, the little boy goes back to the park tells the little girl he found out what a penis was. He took her behind some bushes, pulled down his pants and said "This is a penis. And if it was smaller, it would be perfect."

WheelsVT · 08-07-2009, 02:13 PM

http://xkcd.com/verizon/

08-06-2009, 03:00 PM	#5
larrymcg421 Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Georgia	Why was Fred Flintstone mad when a Hurricane hit bedrock? He found Wilma under Rubble. __________________ Top 10 Songs of the Year 1955-Present (1976 Added) Franchise Portfolio Draft Winner Fictional Character Draft Winner Television Family Draft Winner Build Your Own Hollywood Studio Draft Winner

08-06-2009, 03:00 PM	#6
TCY Junkie College Prospect Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: TX	Maybe talking on the phone to Verizon is not for you. __________________ I try to open things I probably have no chance of opening.

08-06-2009, 03:13 PM	#9
gstelmack Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Cary, NC	Go down to your local Verizon sales kiosk/store/whatever and they'll probably be able to help you. That's where the good reps work... __________________ -- Greg -- Author of various FOF utilities

08-06-2009, 03:20 PM	#10
Mustang Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wisconsin	Why do elephants wear springs on their feet? So they can jump up and rape monkeys What sound do moneys hate the most? Boooiiinnnggg... Boooiiinnnggg... Boooiiinnnggg. Knock knock Who's there? The interrupting cow The inter.. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! __________________ You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its...

08-06-2009, 03:23 PM	#11
Travis Pro Rookie Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Canada eh	hxxp://www.paulbrownshow.com/Portals/0/audio/paul_brown_fredplaymate.mp3 Background Paul Brown/Yukon Jack/Gillian Foote host the morning show on a local radio station here (the Bear). Fearless Fred is the drive time host (unfortunately leaving after tomorrow to go to a job in Toronto) and the subject of the story in the audio link above. __________________ "I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it." - Rogers Hornsby

08-06-2009, 02:58 PM	#2
Telle College Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY	Don't suppose there's a marathon of "Finneus and Ferb" running right now that you can turn on?

08-06-2009, 02:59 PM	#3
jetpunk2000 Waterboy Forever Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Oceanside NY	I fucking hate Verizon customer service. Is it FIOS or wireless? FIOS service is useless. Sorry, no laughs from me, just feel your pain lol.

08-06-2009, 02:59 PM	#4
Lorena Unregistered Join Date: May 2004

08-06-2009, 03:03 PM	#7
Lorena Unregistered Join Date: May 2004	Guy and a girl get freaky in a car and when they finish the guy gets the condom and throws it out the window. Little kid passes by, gets it and sells it. He runs home and says, "Momma momma momma guess what? I sold a Twinkie but I tricked them cuz I ate the inside!"

08-06-2009, 03:07 PM	#8
Lorena Unregistered Join Date: May 2004	A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

08-06-2009, 03:29 PM	#12
RendeR Coordinator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Buffalo, NY	It was Long distance/normal phone service and I shouldn't go near anything labeled Verizon right now, but thanks for reminding me they have employees in kiosks =) Lorena, you're disturbed and disgusting, I think I love you =) thanks folks, needed something to break the tension =) __________________ http://wotlabs.net/s...8/signature.png http://wotlabs.net/sig_dark/na/banichi18/signature.png

08-06-2009, 07:07 PM	#15
Greyroofoo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Alabama	So a duck walks into a sore and orders some chapstick. The cashier says, "Sure, it'll be a buck". The duck replies, "I don't have the cash, just put it on my bill."

08-06-2009, 07:21 PM	#16
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	Call verizon once. If you don't get what you want call twice. If you don't get what you want call 4 times. Keep doubling each call. Guarented you get what you want in end.

08-06-2009, 11:30 PM	#17
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	Welcome to Hollywood!!!! __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

08-07-2009, 02:35 AM	#20
mckerney Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000

08-07-2009, 02:47 AM	#21
thesloppy Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: PDX

08-07-2009, 07:55 AM	#22
Greyroofoo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Alabama	This always cheers me up

08-07-2009, 07:59 AM	#23
Mustang Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wisconsin	__________________ You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its...

08-07-2009, 08:02 AM	#24
Greyroofoo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Alabama	Yoda has moves as well

08-07-2009, 08:41 AM	#25
RomaGoth Favored Bitch #2 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Here	Wish I could bust a move like Vader.....

08-07-2009, 09:09 AM	#29
RomaGoth Favored Bitch #2 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Here	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L8kd...layer_embedded

08-07-2009, 02:13 PM	#32
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	A little boy and little girl are playing in a park. The girl asks the boy, "What's a penis?". The little boy didn't know, but said he'd find out. When he got home from the park, his mom was cooking dinner. He asked, "Mom, what's a penis?" The mom got flustered and said "Go ask your dad". The father had just gotten done taking a shower after mowing the yard, and was wearing only a towel when the son walked in and asked "Dad, what is a penis?" So the father said "Son, I'll do better than tell you what a penis is, I'll show you one." He drops his towel and says "Son, this is a penis. Take a good look, as this one is perfect." So the next day, the little boy goes back to the park tells the little girl he found out what a penis was. He took her behind some bushes, pulled down his pants and said "This is a penis. And if it was smaller, it would be perfect." __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

08-07-2009, 02:13 PM	#33
WheelsVT High School JV Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: GA	http://xkcd.com/verizon/

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