"Family Guy" Quotes Thread

Happy29 · 05-17-2003, 08:02 PM

brian: Is there any way that I can repay you?
Stewie: You know that episode of the Brady Bunch when Bobby saves Greg's life, and Greg agrees to be Bobby's slave?
Brian: Yeah...
Stewie: well its on today at three and i want you to tape it for me. and put a good label on it.

CHEMICAL SOLDIER · 05-17-2003, 08:14 PM

Sorry if it offends people but here's a funny one :

Peter Griffin Is that really the blood of christ? Damn, that guy must've been wasted 24/7

Aesyrqwe · 05-17-2003, 08:15 PM

Peter (on phone): Hey is your refrigerator running? Cause if it is it probably runs just like you....
Very Homosexualy

Peter: Is that really the blood of Christ? Man that guy had to have been wasted 24/7

Lois: Peter did you get a new butt?
Peter: I had to, the old one had a crack in it.

Those are some good ones i can think of..

-Aes-

Aesyrqwe · 05-17-2003, 08:16 PM

Damn Chemical... beat me by a minute with that one...

-Aes-

CHEMICAL SOLDIER · 05-17-2003, 08:18 PM

Well ya know .....

Calis · 05-17-2003, 08:33 PM

Two of my favorite quotes from what is probably my favorite episode....

Lois: Peter, where's Chris?
Chris Griffin: I love you She Hulk.
Security Guard: All right son, I'm going to need those two hams back.
Chris Griffin: I...I don't have any hams.
Security Guard: Lift up your shirt son.
Chris Griffin: I need an adult! I need an adult!
Security Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty, fat, fatty. Hey Tom, he's just a fat kid! Aren't ya fatty? He's a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso.
Chris Griffin: Thanks!

and.....

Diet Instiute Worker: Sir, you cant park your van in here.
Peter Griffin: Hey, thats my kid!
Diet Instiute Worker: Oh sorry.
Diet Instiute Worker: Hey, it's not a van, it's just a really fat kid!!

One more for good measure, great scene.

[Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration]
Peter Griffin: Uh...my name is...
[he sees a pea]
Peter Griffin: Pea...
[he sees a woman crying]
Peter Griffin: ...tear...
[he sees a Griffin fly by]
Peter Griffin: ...Griffin. Peter Griffin.

Craptacular · 05-17-2003, 08:38 PM

In the episode where Chris, er, Christobal becomes an artist, Stewie says something like "I'm going to poop double for you tonight!" to Lois.

Of course, I still love the "oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no... (Kool-Aid man) Oh yeah!" sequence.

Happy29 · 05-17-2003, 08:41 PM

stewie chris; do you want ice cream little dude
stewie ; yes , but no sprinkles . for every sprinkle i find , i shall kill you

[Sorry if this next one offends anyone]
[Peter is talking about his friend Joe who is in a wheelchair]

Peter :Well if Joe's so remarkable, can he do this? Oh look at me, I'm walking, I'm a remarkable man"

Mr. Weed: Peter! Are you sleeping on the job?
Peter: Uh, uh... no there’s a bug in my eye and I’m trying to suffocate him.

AgPete · 05-17-2003, 08:46 PM

I doubt it's word-for-word but....

Lois: I don't know Peter, I think this new fortune is really starting to affect the kids.

Peter: Ahhh, nonsense Lois.

Stewie: (to butler #1) You! Cut my coffee in half!

Butler #1: But I can't cut your coffee in half sir.

Stewie: Incompetent fool! (to butler #2 and #3) You two, fight to the death!

(key Star Trek fight music)

Radii · 05-18-2003, 04:30 AM

My favorite line ever is from Quagmire in the lesbian bar, to the two chicks making out, with full head bob in effect:

"you two ladies ever been penetrated?"

korme · 05-18-2003, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Calis
Diet Instiute Worker: Sir, you cant park your van in here.

Sir, you can't park your VAN on the diving board! HAHAHAHA

Happy29 · 05-18-2003, 12:09 PM

Here's a humorous one

Stewie : Oh c'mon now I barely touched you! Really, stop it! Stop your boo-hooing! Stop it, I say! Stop it! You see, this is exactly why people don't respect the WNBA.

mckerney · 05-18-2003, 12:20 PM

Peter: "Christmas is the time of year when the ghost of Jesus comes back to life to haunt the lands. So we all sing Christmas Caroles to lull him back to sleep"
Bystander 1: "What blasphemy! I can't let him get away with saying that, I have to do something!"
Bystander 2: "There's nothing you can do..."
Bystander 1: "I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor."

CHEMICAL SOLDIER · 05-18-2003, 08:15 PM

Quagmire's lesbian bar quote is a classic .

Calis · 05-18-2003, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Shorty3281
Sir, you can't park your VAN on the diving board! HAHAHAHA

Doh, good call Shorty! I couldn't remember the full quotes so I had to do a search and copy and paste, didn't even read the whole thing.

05-17-2003, 08:16 PM	#4
Aesyrqwe High School JV Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Indiana	Damn Chemical... beat me by a minute with that one... -Aes- __________________ Go Bears! #8 Grossman #33 Tillman

05-17-2003, 08:18 PM	#5
CHEMICAL SOLDIER College Starter Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Henderson, Nevada	Well ya know ..... __________________ Toujour Pret

05-17-2003, 08:46 PM	#9
AgPete College Prospect Join Date: Jan 2001	I doubt it's word-for-word but.... Lois: I don't know Peter, I think this new fortune is really starting to affect the kids. Peter: Ahhh, nonsense Lois. Stewie: (to butler #1) You! Cut my coffee in half! Butler #1: But I can't cut your coffee in half sir. Stewie: Incompetent fool! (to butler #2 and #3) You two, fight to the death! (key Star Trek fight music) __________________ Click here for the FOF2004 World Football League Dynasty (WFL) - Football Goes Global! OOTP5 Psychology Experiment (Incomplete but fun read for MLB fans.) The FOFC All-Time NFL Team - Voted on by FOFC members.

05-18-2003, 08:15 PM	#14
CHEMICAL SOLDIER College Starter Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Henderson, Nevada	Quagmire's lesbian bar quote is a classic . __________________ Toujour Pret

05-17-2003, 08:14 PM	#2
CHEMICAL SOLDIER College Starter Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Henderson, Nevada	Sorry if it offends people but here's a funny one : Peter Griffin Is that really the blood of christ? Damn, that guy must've been wasted 24/7 __________________ Toujour Pret

05-17-2003, 08:15 PM	#3
Aesyrqwe High School JV Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Indiana	Peter (on phone): Hey is your refrigerator running? Cause if it is it probably runs just like you.... Very Homosexualy Peter: Is that really the blood of Christ? Man that guy had to have been wasted 24/7 Lois: Peter did you get a new butt? Peter: I had to, the old one had a crack in it. Those are some good ones i can think of.. -Aes- __________________ Go Bears! #8 Grossman #33 Tillman

05-17-2003, 08:33 PM	#6
Calis College Starter Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Kansas	Two of my favorite quotes from what is probably my favorite episode.... Lois: Peter, where's Chris? Chris Griffin: I love you She Hulk. Security Guard: All right son, I'm going to need those two hams back. Chris Griffin: I...I don't have any hams. Security Guard: Lift up your shirt son. Chris Griffin: I need an adult! I need an adult! Security Guard: You're not a shoplifter, you're just a fat kid. Sorry about that fatty, fat, fatty. Hey Tom, he's just a fat kid! Aren't ya fatty? He's a big ol' fat kid. Here's some chocolate fatso. Chris Griffin: Thanks! and..... Diet Instiute Worker: Sir, you cant park your van in here. Peter Griffin: Hey, thats my kid! Diet Instiute Worker: Oh sorry. Diet Instiute Worker: Hey, it's not a van, it's just a really fat kid!! One more for good measure, great scene. [Peter has to come up with a fake name on the spot, so he looks around the room to get inspiration] Peter Griffin: Uh...my name is... [he sees a pea] Peter Griffin: Pea... [he sees a woman crying] Peter Griffin: ...tear... [he sees a Griffin fly by] Peter Griffin: ...Griffin. Peter Griffin.

05-17-2003, 08:38 PM	#7
Craptacular College Starter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Mad City, WI	In the episode where Chris, er, Christobal becomes an artist, Stewie says something like "I'm going to poop double for you tonight!" to Lois. Of course, I still love the "oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no... (Kool-Aid man) Oh yeah!" sequence.

05-17-2003, 08:41 PM	#8
Happy29 In The Penalty Box Join Date: May 2003 Location: To reveal my location, you must decipher a series of traps, each more deadly than the last.	stewie chris; do you want ice cream little dude stewie ; yes , but no sprinkles . for every sprinkle i find , i shall kill you [Sorry if this next one offends anyone] [Peter is talking about his friend Joe who is in a wheelchair] Peter :Well if Joe's so remarkable, can he do this? Oh look at me, I'm walking, I'm a remarkable man" Mr. Weed: Peter! Are you sleeping on the job? Peter: Uh, uh... no there’s a bug in my eye and I’m trying to suffocate him.

05-18-2003, 04:30 AM	#10
Radii Head Coach Join Date: Jul 2001	My favorite line ever is from Quagmire in the lesbian bar, to the two chicks making out, with full head bob in effect: "you two ladies ever been penetrated?"

05-18-2003, 12:09 PM	#12
Happy29 In The Penalty Box Join Date: May 2003 Location: To reveal my location, you must decipher a series of traps, each more deadly than the last.	Here's a humorous one Stewie : Oh c'mon now I barely touched you! Really, stop it! Stop your boo-hooing! Stop it, I say! Stop it! You see, this is exactly why people don't respect the WNBA.

05-18-2003, 12:20 PM	#13
mckerney Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Peter: "Christmas is the time of year when the ghost of Jesus comes back to life to haunt the lands. So we all sing Christmas Caroles to lull him back to sleep" Bystander 1: "What blasphemy! I can't let him get away with saying that, I have to do something!" Bystander 2: "There's nothing you can do..." Bystander 1: "I guess I'll just have to develop a sense of humor."

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