Headlines from the year 2053

JeeberD · 10-15-2003, 02:37 PM

(Stolen from a different board)

1. Ozone created by electric cars kills millions in Vancouver.

2. White minorities seek recognition of English as California's third language.

3. Disease-carrying spotted owls threaten Northwest beef, pork and chicken industries.

4. Scientists stumped by natural conception of baby.

5. Fidel Castro dies at age 118. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but smoking them is against the law.

6. Thirty-five-year study shows diet and exercise key to weight loss.

7. Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals is a violation of their civil rights.

8. Average height of NBA players now eight feet three inches.

9. New security law requires all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2055.

10. Revenue Canada sets income tax at 75% of gross income, lowest tax rate in years.

MikeVic · 10-15-2003, 02:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JeeberD

10. Revenue Canada sets income tax at 75% of gross income, lowest tax rate in years. [/i]

I don't like that one.

KevinNU7 · 10-15-2003, 02:58 PM

those are awesome.

Karim · 10-15-2003, 11:53 PM

I'll be 76. I have a strong feeling I won't make it that long.

DolphinFan1 · 10-15-2003, 11:56 PM

You forgot the one about the Cubs still not going to a World Series since forever. We won't even remember the year they last went.

bbor · 10-16-2003, 12:52 AM

11.JeeberD still has'nt beaten bbor in fantasy hockey.

JeeberD · 10-16-2003, 12:58 AM

Friggin Brent Johnson is killing me. Is the bastard ever going to start???

bbor · 10-16-2003, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JeeberD
Friggin Brent Johnson is killing me. Is the bastard ever going to start???

Perhaps...in the AHL

JeeberD · 10-16-2003, 01:08 AM

That's it, he's off the team...

Sharpieman · 10-16-2003, 02:08 AM

12. The cubs STILL haven't gone to the world series since 1908.

Sharpieman · 10-16-2003, 02:09 AM

Dola, damn Dolphinfan, you beat me to it!!

bigjdotcom01 · 10-16-2003, 07:41 AM

13. Dolphins start 2053 NFL regular season 5-0, lose final four games to finish 7-9 and miss the playoffs again.

DolphinFan1 · 10-16-2003, 09:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bigjdotcom01
13. Dolphins start 2053 NFL regular season 5-0, lose final four games to finish 7-9 and miss the playoffs again.

Hey, what have the Dolphins ever done to you?

10-15-2003, 02:58 PM	#3
KevinNU7 College Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: Beantown	those are awesome. __________________ Boston Bashers - III.14 - (8347)

10-15-2003, 11:56 PM	#5
DolphinFan1 College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Connecticut	You forgot the one about the Cubs still not going to a World Series since forever. We won't even remember the year they last went. __________________ GM of the Milwaukee Muscle Men of the ZFL. The 1st team in ZFL history to have a perfect losing season. I am on a quest to show that the Dolphins can win the Super Bowl. Or should I say Front Office Bowl, with FOF2K7. The revival of an old favorite, FOFC Wrestling Dynasty

10-16-2003, 12:52 AM	#6
bbor Pro Starter Join Date: May 2001 Location: toronto	11.JeeberD still has'nt beaten bbor in fantasy hockey. __________________ Pumpy Tudors Now that I've cracked and made that admission, I wonder if I'm only a couple of steps away from wanting to tongue-kiss Jaromir Jagr and give Bobby Clarke a blowjob.

10-16-2003, 12:58 AM	#7
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Friggin Brent Johnson is killing me. Is the bastard ever going to start??? __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

10-16-2003, 01:08 AM	#9
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	That's it, he's off the team... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

10-15-2003, 11:53 PM	#4
Karim College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Calgary	I'll be 76. I have a strong feeling I won't make it that long.

10-16-2003, 02:08 AM	#10
Sharpieman Greatly Missed. (7/11/84-06/12/05) Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Palo Alto, CA	12. The cubs STILL haven't gone to the world series since 1908. __________________ Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

10-16-2003, 02:09 AM	#11
Sharpieman Greatly Missed. (7/11/84-06/12/05) Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Palo Alto, CA	Dola, damn Dolphinfan, you beat me to it!! __________________ Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.

10-16-2003, 07:41 AM	#12
bigjdotcom01 High School JV Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Somewhere in Upstate NY	13. Dolphins start 2053 NFL regular season 5-0, lose final four games to finish 7-9 and miss the playoffs again. __________________ West Henrietta FC (70601) - Go Crazy Lions!

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