A Funny Website

Abe Sargent · 05-27-2003, 09:42 AM

I'm just tearing myself up with laughter at this website:

http://www.bookofratings.com/

In case anybody is at work, bored, and questing for humor.....

....like me!

-Anxiety

JAG · 05-27-2003, 11:22 AM

Thanks for the link, funny stuff.

mrsimperless · 05-27-2003, 12:57 PM

It was mildly amusing at best. The "danger symbols" was the best page.

Abe Sargent · 05-27-2003, 01:09 PM

Everybody has their own tastes. But, for example, I like the Canadian Candy ratings. If you don't find this funny, fdon't check out the website - it's chuck full of similar humor.

"CANADIAN SNACK FOODS/CANADIENS CASSE-CRO&UCIRC;TE

Aero
"Big on bubbles" ("Les bulles...on s'y connaît!") is this candy bar's catchphrase, and sure enough when you crack one in half it looks like a chocolatey degenerative bone disease. I'm not sure why this is a selling point; it tastes like plain old regular Canadian crappy chocolate (which is to say, slightly different than crappy chocolate from the States) and I can't imagine there have been a lot of complaints about the specific gravity of chocolate bars. It floats in water, maybe that's good. C-

Smarties
I know a lot of Canadians are great fans of the Smartie, but I'm just not seeing the appeal as compared to M&Ms, except that Smarties have chimps named Bob and Einstein ("Robert et Pasteur") on the package. Aside from that, Smarties are like larger M&Ms with thicker shells, worse chocolate, and no letters printed on them. Also, they come in more colours, but in my view chocolate bits should not be pink. I'm still having trouble adjusting to blue M&Ms. They do not float in water. C-

Crunchie
This is chocolate-covered sponge toffee. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the phrase "sponge toffee" ("Tire éponge dorée"). It tastes like toffee, but it's approximately the consistency of vintage foam rubber. This, to me, is not optimal. It floats in water. D+

Coffee Crisp
This is a good idea! ("Une bonne idée!") It's chocolate with a coffee-flavoured wafer center. My complaint, however, is that it could be more significantly coffee flavoured. It could hold you down and make you sniff its beans, but instead it just kind of gives you a whiff of coffee before and after the actual chewing. That's a disappointment. It floats in water. C+

Big Turk
This definitely gets my vote for "Best Candy Bar Which Is Also Someone's Prison Nickname." It intends to taste like Turkish delight ("Loukoum") but as far as I'm concerned it's essentially Swedish fish covered in chocolate. Combining Swedish fish and chocolate is one of those really great ideas, like combining Playstation 2 and oral sex. It does not float in water. B+

Ketchup Potato Chips
Good god! ("Mon dieu!") These are actually good! Really good. So good that I was able to get past the unnerving phrase "simulated ketchup flavour." The important thing here is that they don't really taste all that much like ketchup ("ketchup"). They're kind of like vinegar chips crossed with barbecue chips crossed with, well, ketchup. Only good! Much better than you're imagining! It's like really gross food, only made by Jesus. Also, they float. A-"

-Anxiety

tucker342 · 05-27-2003, 08:07 PM

some of those are pretty damn funny

05-27-2003, 12:57 PM	#3
mrsimperless College Prospect Join Date: Apr 2003	It was mildly amusing at best. The "danger symbols" was the best page. __________________ "All I know is that smart women are hot. Susan Polgar beat me in 24 moves in a simultaneous exhbition. I slept with the scoresheet under my pillow." Off some dude's web site.

05-27-2003, 01:09 PM	#4
Abe Sargent Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Catonsville, MD	Everybody has their own tastes. But, for example, I like the Canadian Candy ratings. If you don't find this funny, fdon't check out the website - it's chuck full of similar humor. "CANADIAN SNACK FOODS/CANADIENS CASSE-CRO&UCIRC;TE Aero "Big on bubbles" ("Les bulles...on s'y connaît!") is this candy bar's catchphrase, and sure enough when you crack one in half it looks like a chocolatey degenerative bone disease. I'm not sure why this is a selling point; it tastes like plain old regular Canadian crappy chocolate (which is to say, slightly different than crappy chocolate from the States) and I can't imagine there have been a lot of complaints about the specific gravity of chocolate bars. It floats in water, maybe that's good. C- Smarties I know a lot of Canadians are great fans of the Smartie, but I'm just not seeing the appeal as compared to M&Ms, except that Smarties have chimps named Bob and Einstein ("Robert et Pasteur") on the package. Aside from that, Smarties are like larger M&Ms with thicker shells, worse chocolate, and no letters printed on them. Also, they come in more colours, but in my view chocolate bits should not be pink. I'm still having trouble adjusting to blue M&Ms. They do not float in water. C- Crunchie This is chocolate-covered sponge toffee. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the phrase "sponge toffee" ("Tire éponge dorée"). It tastes like toffee, but it's approximately the consistency of vintage foam rubber. This, to me, is not optimal. It floats in water. D+ Coffee Crisp This is a good idea! ("Une bonne idée!") It's chocolate with a coffee-flavoured wafer center. My complaint, however, is that it could be more significantly coffee flavoured. It could hold you down and make you sniff its beans, but instead it just kind of gives you a whiff of coffee before and after the actual chewing. That's a disappointment. It floats in water. C+ Big Turk This definitely gets my vote for "Best Candy Bar Which Is Also Someone's Prison Nickname." It intends to taste like Turkish delight ("Loukoum") but as far as I'm concerned it's essentially Swedish fish covered in chocolate. Combining Swedish fish and chocolate is one of those really great ideas, like combining Playstation 2 and oral sex. It does not float in water. B+ Ketchup Potato Chips Good god! ("Mon dieu!") These are actually good! Really good. So good that I was able to get past the unnerving phrase "simulated ketchup flavour." The important thing here is that they don't really taste all that much like ketchup ("ketchup"). They're kind of like vinegar chips crossed with barbecue chips crossed with, well, ketchup. Only good! Much better than you're imagining! It's like really gross food, only made by Jesus. Also, they float. A-" -Anxiety __________________ Check out my two current weekly Magic columns! https://www.coolstuffinc.com/a/?action=search&page=1&author[]=Abe%20Sargent

05-27-2003, 11:22 AM	#2
JAG Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: St. Paul, MN	Thanks for the link, funny stuff.

05-27-2003, 08:07 PM	#5
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA	some of those are pretty damn funny

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