06-28-2004, 01:48 PM | #1 | ||
College Prospect
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Phoenix
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$#*@& Yardwork
I'm getting DirecTV installed today. I am going to mount the dish on top of my storage shed (approved by my HOA), but I have a bouganvila that was partially in the way. It extends into my neighbor's porch, and she likes the shade, so I don't want to do too much to it. So, I get out the pruner-on-a-pole and try to trim it. The pole-pruner sucks donkey dick. I can't get it around a branch, the string trigger sags, etc. So, I get my ladder and smaller pruner. I start snipping away, and with each cut, I find something else that needs pruning. I'm trimming, I'm chopping, I'm making some good progress. My wife failed to tell me that bouganvila shrubs have larger thorns than roses. I'm scratched and torn all to hell.
Then I decide that the cat's paw ivy that is growing up the back of the house needs to be trimmed back before it takes over the whole place. I snip it, and try to pull it off the wall. I wind up pulling the screen off of my guest bedroom window when the ivy doesn't want to relinquish its hold. Back in the house, run upstairs, manually remove the ivy from the screen, pathetically try to replace the screen in the window, give up and duct tape the bastard in place. After all this, I realize that I really need to clean up the porch, being covered with bouganvila petals and ivy bits. Now, this is the first yardwork that this place has seen in a month, and the beautiful pink petals are ankle deep in some places. I try the broom and dustpan thing, but I eventually get a shovel and just start shoveling that shit into the trash bag. After a hosedown of the whole porch and plants, I'm finally done, two hours later. I'm so glad I have no lawn. Now I'm too tired to appreciate the DirecTV. How fair is that?
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The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them! Visit Stewart the Wonderbear and his amazing travels http://wonderbeartravel.blogspot.com Last edited by AZSpeechCoach : 06-28-2004 at 01:50 PM. Reason: fixed some wording |
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06-28-2004, 01:55 PM | #2 |
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Placerville, CA
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Dude, you live in Arizona. You can hire some illegal mexican guy to do that shit for you for like 3 bucks an hour.
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06-28-2004, 01:57 PM | #3 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2001
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porch, trimming, screen window...you are a lightweight.
dig some fence post holes with an old, broken down post digger and get back to me.
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"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales |
06-28-2004, 02:00 PM | #4 | |
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Placerville, CA
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Quote:
I've done that. And the ground around my place is like concrete in the summertime. I have to chisel a hole in the ground with a pick about four inches deep, fill it with water, let it sit a few hours, and then I can start digging. I have to repeat the water treatment every 6-8 inches. I've tried using motorized augers, and actually broken them. |
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06-28-2004, 02:04 PM | #5 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2001
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Quote:
I thought it was all over after doing it in 90 degree heat. Considered just lying in the road. The yard is full of rocks, strategically placed about a foot below the surface.
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales |
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06-28-2004, 02:16 PM | #6 | |
Unregistered
Join Date: May 2004
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Quote:
Damn, my head's still spinning... |
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06-28-2004, 03:30 PM | #7 | |
College Prospect
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Phoenix
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Quote:
That's why I bought this damn place! It has no lawn and only about 200 sq. feet of back porch/yard.
__________________
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them! Visit Stewart the Wonderbear and his amazing travels http://wonderbeartravel.blogspot.com |
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06-28-2004, 03:34 PM | #8 | |
College Prospect
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Phoenix
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Quote:
Dola I wouldn't know, or want to know, where to find some illegal guy.
__________________
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them! Visit Stewart the Wonderbear and his amazing travels http://wonderbeartravel.blogspot.com |
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06-28-2004, 03:39 PM | #9 |
General Manager
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
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Here in Dallas they're easy as hell to find. Groups of them stand on streetcorners waiting for people to pick them up and hire them for day labor...
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UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO |
06-28-2004, 03:49 PM | #10 | |
Banned
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Placerville, CA
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Quote:
What Jeebs says. Head to Guadalupe in the morning and take your pick. |
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