This Guy Is the Biggest, Most Gullible Idiot In the World

[Ksyrup]

'Outright lies' lead to request for a divorce

Michael P. is seeking to annul his Las Vegas marriage to his bride of five months. In his complaint, the Westboro man claims that his wife induced him into marriage "through a series of elaborately constructed gross misrepresentations and outright lies about her background, financial status, employment history, marital history, criminal background, family background and her very strong connections to the entertainment community in California."

That doesn't even begin to cover the complaints of poor Mr. P., whose full name I'm withholding because the guy has been through enough.

In a cautionary tale of the pitfalls of online dating, Mr. P. said he met Crystal P. through an Internet dating service last fall, when she told him that she had moved to Massachusetts from California to escape the "fast life," and that she was very "in" with the entertainment crowd.

He says she told him on their first date that she was a registered nurse, had won a powerball lottery, was the niece of the guitarist for Motley Crue, had at one time posed for Playboy, and that her ex-husband was in prison for kidnapping her and locking her in a trunk.

In later meetings, she claimed to have worked as a multilingual interpreter in Washington and as a negotiator for the Los Angeles Police Department, where she once saved a man who threatened to jump off a bridge, according to court papers.

For some reason, the relationship progressed. One day over lunch, after Mr. P. revealed that his favorite band was "Rush," Crystal confided that the lead guitarist had been her best friend for 30 years.

"Michael was initially skeptical of her claim but, as with most of the lies Crystal told, the conviction, emotion and the detail with which she expressed them made Michael believe her," according to the complaint filed by Mr. P.'s lawyer, Jonathan E. Fields of Wellesley.

She also told him that she was once engaged to the son of Brian Wilson of the Beach Boys, who was also friendly with Alex Lifeson, lead singer of Rush, and that the three had been inseparable until a tragic bungee jumping accident in California killed her fiance.

"Shortly thereafter, Crystal confided in Michael a huge secret," according to the complaint. "She claimed to be the illegitimate child of John Lennon and Janis Joplin." Oh, yeah, and Steve Tyler from Aerosmith was her godfather.

At some point, she claimed that a man she was instant messaging was Mr. Lifeson, and she pretended to hook him up with Mr. P. on the Internet, according to papers. Mr. P. also "spoke" to actresses Liv Tyler, Diane Lane and other celebrities. On Feb. 12 of this year, one day before they got married, Mr. P. received an e-mail from "Alex" that indicated Crystal was financially well-off and receiving large checks from his band.

"It has since become apparent to Michael that, contrary to her extravagant claims, Crystal's financial resources are as limited as her alleged contacts in the entertainment industry," says the complaint, which also claims that she concealed a criminal record and had scammed a former boyfriend.

Their marriage has since faltered, and Crystal is now falsely claiming she is pregnant, according to the complaint.

"More recently, the claim has escalated - Crystal now says she is pregnant with triplets," says the complaint. "In fact, according to information received from University of Massachusetts Medical Center in Worcester, she is not pregnant."

Crystal now reportedly lives in Ashland, but could not be reached. The complaint alleges that she exploited Mr. P.'s good nature and "perhaps his gullibility" for financial gain, and that the marriage is void "by reason of her insanity."


hxxp://www.telegram.com/article/20070701/COLUMN01/70701002/1010/NEWS02

[Ksyrup]

Biggest outright lie in that article...Alex Lifeson is the lead singer of Rush.

[Butter]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Biggest outright lie in that article...Alex Lifeson is the lead singer of Rush.

Actually, that was the one that stood out to me the most as well.

[Poli]

I thought for a moment that this had something to do with Hell Atlantic.

[MikeVic]

That's funny.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

... and that the marriage is void "by reason of her insanity."

Well if that counts, then so much for the institution of marriage.

[JediKooter]

Pix Plz.

[TroyF]

Wow. Just wow.

[Passacaglia]

Originally Posted by Butter_of_69

Actually, that was the one that stood out to me the most as well.

Yeah, he really should have known the girl was making it all up then.

[Noop]

This happens alot I imagine...

[Mustang]

Is there a guy around that wouldn't follow up this statement 'I posed for Playboy' with one question.

'When?'

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Mustang

Is there a guy around that wouldn't follow up this statement 'I posed for Playboy' with one question.

'When?'

She would have had me at, "I won the powerball lottery."

[vex]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

She would have had me at, "I won the powerball lottery."

I'm thinking he didn't dare question her after he thought he had hit the jackpot.

[Buccaneer]

"Shortly thereafter, Crystal confided in Michael a huge secret," according to the complaint. "She claimed to be the illegitimate child of John Lennon and Janis Joplin." Oh, yeah, and Steve Tyler from Aerosmith was her godfather.

Up to that point, it was a bunch of typical pathological lying. Then it went off the deep end.

[Izulde]

I skimmed too quickly the first time I read the article and I thought it said she claimed to be the illegitimate child of John Lennon and Steve Tyler.

[Buccaneer]

Speaking of gullible and cluelessness

Troubled star Britney Spears has apologized for attacking a paparazzo's Suv with an umbrella earlier this year - insisting she was "rehearsing for a film role". The singer has attributed her bizarre behavior outside estranged husband Kevin Federline's house - the night before she entered rehab in February - to preparation for a part in a movie about a much maligned wife who swaps places with her husband. In a message to gossip site X17, she writes, "I want to apologize for the past incident with the umbrella. I was preparing a character for a possible movie role where the husband doesn't play his part so they swap places. Unfortunately I didn't get the part. I'm sorry I get carried away with my role!"

[vex]

Originally Posted by Buccaneer

Speaking of gullible and cluelessness

Just wow. Seriously?

[Buccaneer]

Originally Posted by vex

Just wow. Seriously?

Millions will believe it!

[BYU 14]

Yeah......that's it, that's the ticket!

[JediKooter]

Too bad it didn't say she invented Post-It Notes.

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by Izulde

I skimmed too quickly the first time I read the article and I thought it said she claimed to be the illegitimate child of John Lennon and Steve Tyler.

You can tell the article author is completely clueless about rock music. First he calls Alex Lifeson the lead singer of Rush, then he refers to Tyler as "Steve."

[Drake]

For some reason, the relationship progressed.

My favorite line in the whole article.

[Alan T]

This girl lives the next town over from me! I don't know any Crystal P.s though.

[sterlingice]

That article was one of the most entertaining reads I've had in a long time.

Originally Posted by Izulde

I skimmed too quickly the first time I read the article and I thought it said she claimed to be the illegitimate child of John Lennon and Steve Tyler.

Awesome!

SI

[sterlingice]

Also, the illegitimate kid of John Lennon and Steven Tyler might be the ugliest kid ever.

SI