America's Top 25 Douchiest Colleges

wade moore · 08-28-2009, 05:08 AM

http://men.style.com/gq/features/lan...=content_10779

Quote:

The question isn't whether you're a douche bag when you go to college. We were all kind of douche bags when we went to college, if we're going to be honest about it. No, the question for America's youth is: What kind of douche bag do you aspire to be? Like, Where can you go if you want to major in Jet Skiing? How about if you're a trust-fund type but are embarrassed about it? What if you want to lord your intelligence over people for the rest of your life, in the form of a bumper sticker? Picking the right school can be daunting. That's why GQ offers up its heavily researched, possibly stereotypey, but still accurate guide. (Hint: If you're an alum of an Ivy League school in Providence, Rhode Island, get ready to cancel your subscription!)

Pretty amusing - even with my school getting an honorable mention.

panerd · 08-28-2009, 06:00 AM

Wonder where GQ would rank on magazines that douches read? Seems like the schools they picked would alienate a huge portion of their readers.

ISiddiqui · 08-28-2009, 08:48 AM

A decent amount of the list is lame, but there are some great one liners (and Duke being listed everywhere, LOL!):

Duke (#2):

Quote:

A peek inside: They're probably number one. But we'd rather not rank Duke number one at anything.

Princeton (#3):

Quote:

Affectations: They invented affectations!

Bob Jones (#6):

Quote:

Home of: The "not even College Republicans at Other Schools will Talk to You" Douche

University of Colorado (#10):

Quote:

Ten years from now, will be: A junior.

GoldenEagle · 08-28-2009, 08:50 AM

How does Ole Miss not make this list?

Lathum · 08-28-2009, 09:16 AM

The fact that that hack school University of Phoenix was on there made me laugh.

Schmidty · 08-28-2009, 11:30 AM

This list sucked. I don't wrestle, have never been to Duke, and my name is "Schmidty", not "Schmitty".

sterlingice · 08-28-2009, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmidty

This list sucked. I don't wrestle, have never been to Duke, and my name is "Schmidty", not "Schmitty".

SI

sterlingice · 08-28-2009, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

The fact that that hack school University of Phoenix was on there made me laugh.

They didn't seem to do great overall with the list but there were some quality moments on it like that- U of Phoenix definitely belongs on the list. They understood that Duke was #1 but just couldn't put them there but somehow UNC didn't make the list. Ivy League, Notre Dame, and USC also made the list as they should have as well as anywhere that calls themselves "the" blah-blah-blah university (so, yes, OSU, you made it). I thought some stuff like ASU and Colorado were nice touches that you don't normally think of, tho it didn't have enough Florida.

SI

Young Drachma · 08-28-2009, 12:29 PM

I like how they tried to be inclusive. It's a pretty good list, especially adding CU and Bob Jones.

cuervo72 · 08-28-2009, 12:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterlingice

anywhere that calls themselves "the" blah-blah-blah university (so, yes, OSU, you made it).

The Johns Hopkins University.

Subby · 08-28-2009, 01:12 PM

The College of William & Mary

CraigSca · 08-28-2009, 01:19 PM

Isn't GQ kinda douchey?

Pumpy Tudors · 08-28-2009, 01:26 PM

I spent five years at the University of New Orleans trying to make it douchey, and it still wasn't enough to make this list. I spent all of my scholarship and grant money on Summer's Eve, and I gotta tell ya, I sprayed that stuff EVERYWHERE on campus. Can it get any more douchey than that? I mean, for crying out loud, I even sprayed the women's studies office, but that was mostly because the office really needed it. The guy working in there smelled terrible.

Edit to add: At least I think it was a guy.

Edit to add: "Casper" is a guy's name, right?

Edit to add: I mean "Joan Casper."

kcchief19 · 08-28-2009, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CraigSca

Isn't GQ super douchey?

Fixed it for you.

But this may be the most accurate listing of colleges ever. Guess it takes a douche to know a douche.

Subby · 08-28-2009, 01:31 PM

GQ is probably the best magazine I get. The writing is superb. I would say it is more elitist than douche.

flere-imsaho · 08-28-2009, 01:32 PM

The really missed the ball on #24: U of Texas. They could just have said "Matthew McConaughey" and called it a day.

chesapeake · 08-28-2009, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmidty

This list sucked. I don't wrestle, have never been to Duke, and my name is "Schmidty", not "Schmitty".

I was pretty drunk, but I'm 99% sure that the guy I was always wrestiling at the end of parties was you. GQ is pretty douchey, because I spelled your name correctly for the writer during the interview. Hacks.

sterlingice · 08-28-2009, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmidty

This list sucked. I don't wrestle, have never been to Duke, and my name is "Schmidty", not "Schmitty".

You know, I really wanted to put up some image from the SNL commercial for Schmidt's Gay but really didn't want to do a Google image search on anything with the word "gay" in it.

SI

spleen1015 · 08-28-2009, 02:07 PM

People are just jealous of Duke. Every single person who dislikes Duke would go there if they could.

ISiddiqui · 08-28-2009, 02:19 PM

You are trying to make their point aren't you?

clemsonfan · 08-28-2009, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spleen1015

People are just jealous of Duke. Every single person who dislikes Duke would go there if they could.

Nope. If I wanted to go to a private NC university, I'd choose Wake Forest.

Drake · 08-28-2009, 02:35 PM

How was William & Mary not on that list?

I've never known a W&M grad who wasn't an enormous douche.

Edit: Oops. Hi, Subby!

clemsonfan · 08-28-2009, 02:36 PM

Stanford would be a good addition to that list as well.

molson · 08-28-2009, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spleen1015

People are just jealous of Duke. Every single person who dislikes Duke would go there if they could.

They would probably crack my top 50.

wade moore · 08-28-2009, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drake

How was William & Mary not on that list?

I've never known a W&M grad who wasn't an enormous douche.

Edit: Oops. Hi, Subby!

Like I said, honorably mention on #25 under UVA

.

TheOhioStateUniversity · 08-28-2009, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spleen1015

People are just jealous of Duke. Every single person who dislikes Duke would go there if they could.

I feel your pain, same thing with us...

sterlingice · 08-28-2009, 02:51 PM

This thread is starting to douche up

SI

dawgfan · 08-28-2009, 02:53 PM

Bard really needs to be on that list...

Subby · 08-28-2009, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drake

How was William & Mary not on that list?

I've never known a W&M grad who wasn't an enormous douche.

Edit: Oops. Hi, Subby!

It was on that list you inbred redneck.

Honolulu_Blue · 08-28-2009, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spleen1015

People are just jealous of Duke. Every single person who dislikes Duke would go there if they could.

I could have gone there, chose not to, twice, and still dislike Duke.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheOhioStateUniversity

I feel your pain, same thing with us...

Funny!!

Edit: I once met a woman who went to some combination of Ohio State/Duke Law School or Duke/Ohio State Law School (I am pretty sure it was the latter). She was really annoying and didn't know how to swim.

molson · 08-28-2009, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheOhioStateUniversity

I feel your pain, same thing with us...

They would crack my top 250.

stevew · 08-28-2009, 03:29 PM

Bob Jones being on there was hilarious.

clemsonfan · 08-28-2009, 03:30 PM

I didn't even think GQ knew about Bob Jones.

Izulde · 08-28-2009, 03:31 PM

Princeton is not douchey. It's the most awesome school ever. (And 12 years later, I'm -still- kicking myself for not applying there)

stevew · 08-28-2009, 03:37 PM

I gather Liberty didn't make the list?

molson · 08-28-2009, 03:41 PM

I would have personally ranked Boston College over Boston University.

Ronnie Dobbs2 · 08-28-2009, 03:44 PM

Really? I think they were quite on the nose with BU. Granted, I don't see too many BC types.

Young Drachma · 08-28-2009, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

I gather Liberty didn't make the list?

Four-tier douchery.

Schmidty · 08-28-2009, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

I gather Liberty didn't make the list?

That's where my wife went to school. They have some weird rules on that campus.

Karlifornia · 08-28-2009, 04:06 PM

This list got me thinking about the meteoric rise of the word "douche" or "douchebag", and whether or not it will be in the lexicon forever more, or if its future use will be purely ironic journeys in the bygone era of the aughts.

Karlifornia · 08-28-2009, 04:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmidty

That's where my wife went to school. They have some weird rules on that campus.

What? Instead of science classes they have science-fiction classes?

SICK BURN! TAKE THAT, SHITTY COLLEGE!

EDIT: Sorry...this was just mean. Liberty may be a fine institution of higher learning. I really don't know.

cuervo72 · 08-28-2009, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson

I would have personally ranked Boston College over Boston University.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ronnie Dobbs2

Really? I think they were quite on the nose with BU. Granted, I don't see too many BC types.

Probably could have just thrown out a blanket "Boston" and been fine (or if you want to cast a bigger net and grab Amherst, "Massachusetts").

spleen1015 · 08-28-2009, 04:22 PM

See what I mean? Lots of jealous people in this thread, except HB. He's a cool cat.

OldGiants · 08-28-2009, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmidty

That's where my wife went to school. They have some weird rules on that campus.

Apparently they needed one more, the "Don't marry Schmidty" rule.

Schmidty · 08-28-2009, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

What? Instead of science classes they have science-fiction classes?

SICK BURN! TAKE THAT, SHITTY COLLEGE!

EDIT: Sorry...this was just mean. Liberty may be a fine institution of higher learning. I really don't know.

I think it has it's strong points, although I really don't know a lot of specific stuff. We get their newsletters in the mail, and sometimes I read them on the toilet, but those don't really talk about classes and programs - It's more special interest stories and "uplifting" alma mater things.

I just think stuff like requiring all women to wear skirts to church is pretty stupid and backward. But my wife enjoyed her time there, so that's good. I do kind of wish she'd wear more skirts around here though.

Honolulu_Blue · 08-28-2009, 09:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spleen1015

See what I mean? Lots of jealous people in this thread, except HB. He's a cool cat.

Word up.

Wolfpack · 08-28-2009, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by spleen1015

People are just jealous of Duke. Every single person who dislikes Duke would go there if they could.

Oh, hell no. I could've gone to Duke, I'm sure, but the only school less I was less likely to attend was Carolina. They could've offered me the Morehead and I would have likely turned them down.

Then again, I'm somewhat biased.

kcchief19 · 08-28-2009, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

This list got me thinking about the meteoric rise of the word "douche" or "douchebag", and whether or not it will be in the lexicon forever more, or if its future use will be purely ironic journeys in the bygone era of the aughts.

It's all cyclical. Calling people a douchebag was common in the '60s and '70s but it fell out of favor. In the '80s it was a really bad term. It was only one of three words my mother told me I couldn't say -- the others being the f-word and c-word.

It will fall out out of favor again and I doubt it will be long. Then it will come roaring back one day. You can't douches down.

Sublime 2 · 08-28-2009, 10:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson

I would have personally ranked Boston College over Boston University.

Bingo!!

- Resident BU alum

Schmidty · 08-28-2009, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcchief19

It's all cyclical. Calling people a douchebag was common in the '60s and '70s but it fell out of favor. In the '80s it was a really bad term. It was only one of three words my mother told me I couldn't say -- the others being the f-word and c-word.

It will fall out out of favor again and I doubt it will be long. Then it will come roaring back one day. You can't douches down.

I think the c-word will be the winner in the end.

08-28-2009, 08:50 AM	#4
GoldenEagle Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Little Rock, AR	How does Ole Miss not make this list? __________________ Xbox 360 Gamer Tag: GoldenEagle014

08-28-2009, 12:29 PM	#9
Young Drachma Dark Cloud Join Date: Apr 2001	I like how they tried to be inclusive. It's a pretty good list, especially adding CU and Bob Jones. __________________ Current Dynasty:The Zenith of Professional Basketball Careers (FBPB/FBCB) FBCB / FPB3 Mods

08-28-2009, 01:12 PM	#11
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	The College of William & Mary __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

08-28-2009, 01:19 PM	#12
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	Isn't GQ kinda douchey? __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

08-28-2009, 01:26 PM	#13
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	I spent five years at the University of New Orleans trying to make it douchey, and it still wasn't enough to make this list. I spent all of my scholarship and grant money on Summer's Eve, and I gotta tell ya, I sprayed that stuff EVERYWHERE on campus. Can it get any more douchey than that? I mean, for crying out loud, I even sprayed the women's studies office, but that was mostly because the office really needed it. The guy working in there smelled terrible. Edit to add: At least I think it was a guy. Edit to add: "Casper" is a guy's name, right? Edit to add: I mean "Joan Casper." __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor. Last edited by Pumpy Tudors : 08-28-2009 at 01:27 PM.

08-28-2009, 06:00 AM	#2
panerd Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: St. Louis	Wonder where GQ would rank on magazines that douches read? Seems like the schools they picked would alienate a huge portion of their readers.

08-28-2009, 09:16 AM	#5
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	The fact that that hack school University of Phoenix was on there made me laugh.

08-28-2009, 11:30 AM	#6
Schmidty Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Early, TX	This list sucked. I don't wrestle, have never been to Duke, and my name is "Schmidty", not "Schmitty". __________________ Just beat the devil out of it!!! - Bob Ross

08-28-2009, 01:31 PM	#15
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	GQ is probably the best magazine I get. The writing is superb. I would say it is more elitist than douche. __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com Last edited by Subby : 08-28-2009 at 01:31 PM.

08-28-2009, 01:32 PM	#16
flere-imsaho Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Chicagoland	The really missed the ball on #24: U of Texas. They could just have said "Matthew McConaughey" and called it a day.

08-28-2009, 02:07 PM	#19
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	People are just jealous of Duke. Every single person who dislikes Duke would go there if they could. __________________ Why choose failure when success is an option?

08-28-2009, 02:19 PM	#20
ISiddiqui Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Decatur, GA	You are trying to make their point aren't you? __________________ "A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages" -Tennessee Williams

08-28-2009, 02:35 PM	#22
Drake assmaster Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bloomington, IN	How was William & Mary not on that list? I've never known a W&M grad who wasn't an enormous douche. Edit: Oops. Hi, Subby! Last edited by Drake : 08-28-2009 at 02:37 PM.

08-28-2009, 02:36 PM	#23
clemsonfan High School JV Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Dayton, OH	Stanford would be a good addition to that list as well.

08-28-2009, 02:51 PM	#27
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	This thread is starting to douche up SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

08-28-2009, 02:53 PM	#28
dawgfan Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Seattle	Bard really needs to be on that list...

08-28-2009, 03:29 PM	#32
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	Bob Jones being on there was hilarious.

08-28-2009, 03:30 PM	#33
clemsonfan High School JV Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Dayton, OH	I didn't even think GQ knew about Bob Jones.

08-28-2009, 03:31 PM	#34
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Princeton is not douchey. It's the most awesome school ever. (And 12 years later, I'm -still- kicking myself for not applying there) __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

08-28-2009, 03:37 PM	#35
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	I gather Liberty didn't make the list?

08-28-2009, 03:41 PM	#36
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	I would have personally ranked Boston College over Boston University.

08-28-2009, 03:44 PM	#37
Ronnie Dobbs2 Pro Rookie Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Bahston Mass	Really? I think they were quite on the nose with BU. Granted, I don't see too many BC types. __________________ There's no I in Teamocil, at least not where you'd think

08-28-2009, 04:06 PM	#40
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	This list got me thinking about the meteoric rise of the word "douche" or "douchebag", and whether or not it will be in the lexicon forever more, or if its future use will be purely ironic journeys in the bygone era of the aughts. __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com Last edited by Karlifornia : 08-28-2009 at 04:08 PM.

08-28-2009, 04:22 PM	#43
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	See what I mean? Lots of jealous people in this thread, except HB. He's a cool cat. __________________ Why choose failure when success is an option?

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