Dirty Limericks (ode to Sue-bee)

Fritz · 05-27-2003, 08:24 AM

There once was a poster from Manassass
who was addicted to suppositories made of shot glasses
He would slide one in
again and again
and now has the fragilist of asses

Subby · 05-27-2003, 08:36 AM

The great Fritz was talented and crass.
His posts filled with humor and sass.
But there is something nutty...
'Bout my cuddly buddy...
Can't write limmericks to save his ass.

Fritz · 05-27-2003, 08:44 AM

at least I am cuddly

QuikSand · 05-27-2003, 08:44 AM

These two guys from FOF's ranks
Spend their days and their nights without thanks
But the "butt" of their joke's
The expense of the folks
Who are midgets with fondness for spanks.

QuikSand · 05-27-2003, 08:54 AM

It's a shame that the not-so-well versed
Write a poem that is frequently cursed
While they understand rhyme
It's that most of the time
They forget that the meter comes first.

cuervo72 · 05-27-2003, 09:20 AM

QuikSand's right it is all in the beat
three-ninth's time it might read on a sheet
Altogether five lines
Of two sixes, three nines
Add some rhyme and the limrick's complete.

Subby · 05-27-2003, 09:40 AM

I now realize my big mistake
My original verse was a fake
Too many syllables
(Is FOF time billable?)
I must stop snorting crack for god 'sake!

Fritz · 05-27-2003, 10:10 AM

the grammar nazis strike again!

Subby · 05-27-2003, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Fritz
the grammar nazis strike again!

See? Now you aren't even trying. That doesn't rhyme and is several lines short.

Ksyrup · 05-27-2003, 10:22 AM

I hate to be picky, but let's do a better job of putting the "dirty" in dirty limericks.

And no Subby, FOFC time is not billable. I've tried.

Fritz · 05-27-2003, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Subby
See? Now you aren't even trying. That doesn't rhyme and is several lines short.

You dickhead, the rest were silent, in loving memory of Shane MacGowan.

fantastic flying froggies · 05-27-2003, 10:49 AM

I motion this thread to be stickied !

QuikSand · 05-27-2003, 10:55 AM

Yes, fff - better to have all the dreadful "poetry" in one thread, than all over the place.

CamEdwards · 05-27-2003, 10:58 AM

There once was a buggerer named Fritz
who constantly fondled his tits.
dressed up like a doll
with holes open for all,
drunk on cheap bourbon and Schlitz.

cuervo72 · 05-27-2003, 11:02 AM

So we motion this thread we should stick
Dirty poetry this is our trick
The "Dictator" we mail
But alas no avail
His response will be "Hey, suck my d*ck"

(ok, SkyDog would never say that)

Fritz · 05-27-2003, 11:15 AM

The was a processed meat addict named Cam
who was poor and craved some spiced ham
so he made all the rounds
of parks and playgrounds
trading sexual favors for Spam.

scooper · 05-27-2003, 11:19 AM

I'll never eat Spam again. I won't even read Spam e-mails.

Subby · 05-27-2003, 11:46 AM

When Bucc was born in 1804
Frontier life must have been such a chore
No MJ or hard rap
Just farming and long naps
Modern life made him cranky for sure

cincyreds · 05-27-2003, 11:48 AM

look at all these poets and they didn't even knowitz.

JAG · 05-27-2003, 11:58 AM

When Bucc reached 4k posts he did find
He had to leave his old name behind
Didn't listen to our pleas
Thumbed his nose and now he's
Anrhy...Anrhy...never mind.

QuikSand · 05-27-2003, 12:04 PM

At this forum the live topics may show
The whole gamut - football to fellatio
But if puzzle's your game
Then the answer's the same
If it's QuikSand, two-thirds is the ratio

QuikSand · 05-27-2003, 12:12 PM

It's high time we sorted this out
The statistics leave barely a doubt
'Cause the quote there by Fritz
Says that one in four fits
His most personal spaces with trout

NoMyths · 05-27-2003, 12:21 PM

There was a conundrum called QuikSand
Who posted more than any man can
He's evenly humored
and I've heard that it's rumored
He's far more robotic than human.

sabotai · 05-27-2003, 03:33 PM

On this board there is a goon named Fritz
With a move on girls he calls the blitz
But it was not cocky
Nor was it funny
But his failure he never admits

sabotai · 05-27-2003, 03:49 PM

There was a forum mod named SkyDog
Who had a head as thick as a log
The complaints came too late
Puh-leaze he said irate
And he rode off on his gnarly hog.

sabotai · 05-27-2003, 04:27 PM

A limerick of random saying
Tired of the band overplaying
physiological state
infant mortality rate
And I will go on carillon playing

(I love limericks)

korme · 05-27-2003, 04:45 PM

a dirty limerick is on call
the boys they love them all
but lets just get down
in this ubertown
and show each other our balls

sabotai · 05-27-2003, 04:47 PM

Arn went on about the game design
SkyDog insisted the game was fine
Rise Of Nations they said
Was a winner instead
But Arn continues to malign

korme · 05-27-2003, 04:53 PM

i am eating taco bell
you all know that smell
i cannot rhyme
when it's poopy time
someone please call dell

sabotai · 05-27-2003, 05:00 PM

It came out of my ass oozy green
I should have not eaten all those beans
The dead has now been done
I tell ya this ain't fun
Now getting this bathroom to be clean

korme · 05-27-2003, 05:10 PM

we be spittin rhymes
for some good times
fofc is phat
remember dat
i have lots of dimes

sabotai · 05-27-2003, 05:11 PM

Shorty really needs to learn how to make a limerick. That last one was just bad.

korme · 05-27-2003, 05:21 PM

sabotai is a hater
i'd make him my caterer
because he'd serve
and pass out orderves
or maybe a tater

sabotai · 05-27-2003, 06:34 PM

Shorty is a player hater
He makes fun of fishing baiters
He just sits and rhyme
At least half of the time
I'll just go and say later

korme · 05-27-2003, 06:47 PM

the camel jumped the hurdle
quicker than any turtle
he was quick
he was slick
he did not own a single gertle

korme · 05-27-2003, 07:54 PM

i am killing this thread
should i just go to bed
haha yeah right
i am feelin tight
i know not a ned

BFleming · 05-28-2003, 10:54 AM

Wanted to find a new honey
So I tried to be cocky and funny
Alas a mistake
Got hit with a rake
And the stitches cost all of my money

Frozenrope · 05-28-2003, 11:22 AM

There was a young woman from Sophia,
that succumbed to her lover's desire.
She said, "It's a sin,
but now that it's in,
can you shove it a few inches higher?!!"

05-27-2003, 08:36 AM	#2
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	The great Fritz was talented and crass. His posts filled with humor and sass. But there is something nutty... 'Bout my cuddly buddy... Can't write limmericks to save his ass. __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com Last edited by Subby : 05-27-2003 at 09:34 AM.

05-27-2003, 08:44 AM	#3
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	at least I am cuddly __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

05-27-2003, 09:20 AM	#6
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	QuikSand's right it is all in the beat three-ninth's time it might read on a sheet Altogether five lines Of two sixes, three nines Add some rhyme and the limrick's complete. __________________ null

05-27-2003, 09:40 AM	#7
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	I now realize my big mistake My original verse was a fake Too many syllables (Is FOF time billable?) I must stop snorting crack for god 'sake! __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

05-27-2003, 10:10 AM	#8
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	the grammar nazis strike again! __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

05-27-2003, 08:44 AM	#4
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	These two guys from FOF's ranks Spend their days and their nights without thanks But the "butt" of their joke's The expense of the folks Who are midgets with fondness for spanks.

05-27-2003, 08:54 AM	#5
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	It's a shame that the not-so-well versed Write a poem that is frequently cursed While they understand rhyme It's that most of the time They forget that the meter comes first.

05-27-2003, 10:22 AM	#10
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	I hate to be picky, but let's do a better job of putting the "dirty" in dirty limericks. And no Subby, FOFC time is not billable. I've tried. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

05-27-2003, 10:49 AM	#12
fantastic flying froggies Pro Rookie Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny South of France	I motion this thread to be stickied ! __________________ Detroit Vampires (CFL) : Ve 're coming for your blood! Camargue Flamingos (WOOF): pretty in Pink

05-27-2003, 10:55 AM	#13
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	Yes, fff - better to have all the dreadful "poetry" in one thread, than all over the place.

05-27-2003, 10:58 AM	#14
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	There once was a buggerer named Fritz who constantly fondled his tits. dressed up like a doll with holes open for all, drunk on cheap bourbon and Schlitz. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

05-27-2003, 11:02 AM	#15
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	So we motion this thread we should stick Dirty poetry this is our trick The "Dictator" we mail But alas no avail His response will be "Hey, suck my d*ck" (ok, SkyDog would never say that) __________________ null

05-27-2003, 11:15 AM	#16
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	The was a processed meat addict named Cam who was poor and craved some spiced ham so he made all the rounds of parks and playgrounds trading sexual favors for Spam. __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster Last edited by Fritz : 05-27-2003 at 11:21 AM.

05-27-2003, 11:19 AM	#17
scooper College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Cinn City	I'll never eat Spam again. I won't even read Spam e-mails.

05-27-2003, 11:46 AM	#18
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	When Bucc was born in 1804 Frontier life must have been such a chore No MJ or hard rap Just farming and long naps Modern life made him cranky for sure __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

05-27-2003, 11:48 AM	#19
cincyreds High School Varsity Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Mississippi	look at all these poets and they didn't even knowitz. __________________ The Dallas Cowboys!! America's Team will rise again.

05-27-2003, 11:58 AM	#20
JAG Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: St. Paul, MN	When Bucc reached 4k posts he did find He had to leave his old name behind Didn't listen to our pleas Thumbed his nose and now he's Anrhy...Anrhy...never mind.

05-27-2003, 12:04 PM	#21
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	At this forum the live topics may show The whole gamut - football to fellatio But if puzzle's your game Then the answer's the same If it's QuikSand, two-thirds is the ratio Last edited by QuikSand : 05-27-2003 at 12:05 PM.

05-27-2003, 12:12 PM	#22
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	It's high time we sorted this out The statistics leave barely a doubt 'Cause the quote there by Fritz Says that one in four fits His most personal spaces with trout Last edited by QuikSand : 05-27-2003 at 12:19 PM.

05-27-2003, 12:21 PM	#23
NoMyths Poet in Residence Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Charleston, SC	There was a conundrum called QuikSand Who posted more than any man can He's evenly humored and I've heard that it's rumored He's far more robotic than human.

05-27-2003, 03:33 PM	#24
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	On this board there is a goon named Fritz With a move on girls he calls the blitz But it was not cocky Nor was it funny But his failure he never admits

05-27-2003, 03:49 PM	#25
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	There was a forum mod named SkyDog Who had a head as thick as a log The complaints came too late Puh-leaze he said irate And he rode off on his gnarly hog.

05-27-2003, 04:27 PM	#26
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	A limerick of random saying Tired of the band overplaying physiological state infant mortality rate And I will go on carillon playing (I love limericks)

05-27-2003, 04:45 PM	#27
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	a dirty limerick is on call the boys they love them all but lets just get down in this ubertown and show each other our balls

05-27-2003, 04:47 PM	#28
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	Arn went on about the game design SkyDog insisted the game was fine Rise Of Nations they said Was a winner instead But Arn continues to malign

05-27-2003, 04:53 PM	#29
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	i am eating taco bell you all know that smell i cannot rhyme when it's poopy time someone please call dell

05-27-2003, 05:00 PM	#30
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	It came out of my ass oozy green I should have not eaten all those beans The dead has now been done I tell ya this ain't fun Now getting this bathroom to be clean

05-27-2003, 05:10 PM	#31
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	we be spittin rhymes for some good times fofc is phat remember dat i have lots of dimes

05-27-2003, 05:11 PM	#32
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	Shorty really needs to learn how to make a limerick. That last one was just bad.

05-27-2003, 05:21 PM	#33
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	sabotai is a hater i'd make him my caterer because he'd serve and pass out orderves or maybe a tater

05-27-2003, 06:34 PM	#34
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	Shorty is a player hater He makes fun of fishing baiters He just sits and rhyme At least half of the time I'll just go and say later

05-27-2003, 06:47 PM	#35
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	the camel jumped the hurdle quicker than any turtle he was quick he was slick he did not own a single gertle

05-27-2003, 07:54 PM	#36
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	i am killing this thread should i just go to bed haha yeah right i am feelin tight i know not a ned

05-28-2003, 10:54 AM	#37
BFleming H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Jersey	Wanted to find a new honey So I tried to be cocky and funny Alas a mistake Got hit with a rake And the stitches cost all of my money

05-28-2003, 11:22 AM	#38
Frozenrope Mascot Join Date: Feb 2003	There was a young woman from Sophia, that succumbed to her lover's desire. She said, "It's a sin, but now that it's in, can you shove it a few inches higher?!!" __________________ It's not my show, but I'm on that show - Dick Juaron