ZFL Season 2

revrew · 05-09-2003, 10:10 PM

The second season of the surprisingly successful ZFL begins May 12, 2003.

The schedule is as follows:
Season 2 Schedule
Week 1:
LA vs KX
PT vs BH
SA vs AQ
FG vs MW
CH vs LR

Week 2:
LA vs BH
PT vs LR
SA vs MW
FG vs CH
KX vs AQ

Week 3:
LA vs LR
PT vs CH
SA vs KX
FG vs AQ
MW vs BH

Week 4:
LA vs CH
PT vs AQ
SA vs BH
OM vs LR
KS vs MW

Week 5:
LA vs SA
PT vs FG
BH vs AQ
CH vs MW
KX vs LR

Week 6:
LA vs MW
PT vs SA
LR vs AQ
CH vs BH
KX vs FG

Week 7:
LA vs PT
LR vs MW
SA vs FG
KX vs BH
CH vs AQ

Week 8:
LA vs AQ
PT vs MW
SA vs LR
FG vs BH
CH vs KX

Week 9:
LA vs FG
PT vs KX
SA vs CH
MW vs AQ
LR vs BH

revrew · 05-09-2003, 10:10 PM

As for the standings, I could use an assistant Commish. Could one of you create a post with all the teams and their records listed? That way I can slim my time-commitment by having someone else update the standings after each "week". Thanks!

Coffee Warlord · 05-09-2003, 10:19 PM

ZFL Season 2 Standings - Week 7



Team                        W    L    PF    PA     Streak

---------------------------------------------------------

Chicago Eagles              7    0    175   35     Won  7

Knoxville Rednecks          6    1    280   143    Won  5

San Antonio Margaritas      6    1    179   98     Won  4

Alburquerque Isotopes       5    2    192   157    Lost 1

Portland Sea Biscuits       4    3    175   119    Won  1

Milwaukee Muscle Men        3    4    154   154    Won  1

Little Rock Slick Willies   2    5    115   211    Lost 3

Birmingham Olympians        1    6    126   185    Lost 4

Los Angeles Stars           1    6    17    119    Lost 1

Fargo Fighting Crawfish     0    7    84    248    Lost 7

Coffee Warlord · 05-09-2003, 10:23 PM

Dola. There ya go, Rev.

Swaggs · 05-10-2003, 01:36 AM

Thanks for throwing me a bone with Chicago in week 1, rev.

JeeberD · 05-10-2003, 01:05 PM

What's the address for the (?illinifan's?) website again? I need to bookmark it.

Thanks...

illinifan999 · 05-10-2003, 01:57 PM

www.zfl.iwarp.com

JeeberD · 05-10-2003, 02:37 PM

Sweet, thanks illini...

DolphinFan1 · 05-12-2003, 08:00 AM

I predict that the Milwaukee Muscle Men will win more games than last season.

revrew · 05-12-2003, 09:44 AM

CW - Thanks a bunch! Good idea adding PF and PA--you just saved me one spreadsheet I have to deal with.

Swaggs - Sorry, man, somebody had to bite the bullet early. (But fair warning, Chicago may not be the team you most have to fear this year...)

Dolphin - Wish and prediction granted early! Now if I can just remember that they're the MUSCLE Men and not Mighty Men. I keep messing that up :embarrassed:

Week 1
"The defending champion Chicago Eagles kicked off the season against Arakansaw's finest in Little Rock.

Slick Willie Rajah Saleem flashed memories of Barry Sanders against the vaulted Chicago defense, getting thrown down behind the line a dozen times, only to hop up and sprint off a 70-yard touchdown run. OT Renaldo Buckler sprang Saleem for the sprint, as Chicago's bid for a shutout season ends early.

The Eagle offense, however, looked remarkably improved over last year, efficiently eating up yardage with Randy Steele tearing it up behind powerful OG Tom Sanders. QB Vincent Steele put new WR Jet in the crosshairs early, shooting touchdowns to the veteran wideout in the first and third period.

In the end, said Eagle rookie FB Ty wick, Chicago showed Little Rock 'what a real ball-control game looks like,' and the champs begin the season with a win, 28-7."

******
"In Milwaukee, the Fargo Fighting Crawfish pushed the ball as much as possible with rookie RB Glutton for Punishment. Glutton gobbled up 112 yards on 28 carries, as well as scoring his first ZFL touchdown.

Fargo's veteran wideout Shane found paydirt as well (we won't mention what part rookie CB JeeberD had in that), but the offensive firepower today came from last-year's weakling, the Milwaukee Muscle Men. All-ZFL QB Bullseye burned Fargo's Deep and Deeper for 300+ and a trio of scores, while rookie runningbacks Ricky "The Answer" Williams and Bulldozer each added their own.

It's been a good week for rookies (except, maybe, for JeeberD) thus far! And a good week for Milwaukee, who wins their first ever game, while home fans look on, 35-14."

*****
"Some figured the southwestern war between San Antonio and Albuquerque would be an offensive battle. It was a battle alright, but the credit goes to the defenses.

Early in the first, a ball that dribbled off the fingertips of Margarita rookie WR Primetime (they couldn't all have good days) fell into the waiting arms of secondary superhero, Isotope safety Troy McClure. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a touchdown for Albuquerque!

But San Anton's fine MLB Ray Lewis terrorized Isotope RB I.M.Stopgap, limiting the rook to 24 yards on 15 carries. Maniacal Margarita DEs All-Pro and Bookend continued where they left off in last-year's bloodbath of opponent's QBs, sacking Moe 'Kid Gruesome' Sizzlack 5 times. Gruesome had a gruesome day, managing few yards and only one TD.

ABB'Q DTs Nelson 'The Hammer Muntz' and Capatain McAllister also haunted their opponents' backfield, holding the Southern Screen to barely 200 yards and no scores. San Antonio sure looked like they miss vet WR Jet.

At the end of four, two scores on the ground for SA made it a dead even tie, 14-14. Bring out the kickers!

San Antonio's Eater of Sandwiches was a natural favorite in this matchup, as the league preselected (done prior to the setting of the schedule so the league's integrity can't be questioned) a hot dog eating contest to determine the winner. Surprisingly, Isotope kicker Duff Man showed quite an appetite on the day, scarfing down the Oscar Mayers at considerable speed. In the end, it was 24 dogs for Eater of Sandwiches, a valiant 22 for Duff Man, and San Antonio gets the win, 17-14. Now what other league in the world decides crucial matchups like this with wiener wars? Can you imagine the commentary in week 7? 'I know it was early in the season, but those two hotdogs are really coming back to haunt the Isotopes.' What a riot!"

******
"There is no turf left in Birmingham. Three inches of rain and two teams determined to duke it out on the ground has turned the Olympians' stadium into a mud bath. GM tucker is either going to make some money with renting the stadium out as a dayspa or utilize it instead to wallow in the woe of a close defeat at the hands of Portland.

Somewhere in that sea of brown jerseys, Erik Flamebeard and Tim the Troll plowed the way for Antonio De La Tonio to score twice. At least I think it was twice. That third touchdown looked like Boris 'Bruiser' Boriche, but I couldn't be sure.

The Olympian hogs, Dionysus and (the OG formerly known as Troy) pushed Portland back to make way for 3 scores from Artemis.

But, alas, there is no rejoicing in Mudville. Mighty Zeus has struck out. The game was decided as the Olympian QB attempted a rare screen pass to WR Revrew only to watch PT CB Kosh take it back for a score. Portland wins, 28-21."

*****
"Any lingering doubts anyone had about Knoxville rookie QB "Thumbless" Bo Jackson are now and forever dispelled. 'Thumbless' came out of the chute looking like a Cedar Rapids stock boy, launching deep posts to WR Jackson Jackson early and often. Even L.A.'s excellent secondary stopped to watch the fireworks as Jackson hit Jackson for 211 yards and 3 scores.

Oh, and the running game is still there, too. The Jackson backs punched in two more, giving the Knoxville Rednecks, looking like the ZFL version of the '99 Rams, 35 points.

In the face of a total annihilation of the Stars, you do have to give some credit, however, to L.A. runningback, Adam Sandler, who made ESPN's play of the week spotlight. Apparently, Knoxville OLB Bubba Jackson found cause to taunt the L.A. runner late in the fourth. Facing a 3rd and 12 on the Knoxville 34, Sandler seemed to take offense at the OLB's remarks. He started huffing and puffing and blowing steam. When James Earl Jones handed Sandler the ball, he literally leapt over the entire pile of players at the line of scrimmage, plowing his body deep into the chest of his nemesis, Bubba Jackson. As the two crumbled to the ground, Sandler found sure footing for his cleats somewhere in Jackson's groin and continued the run to the endzone. In a rare shining moment, L.A. scored 7, but lose the game 35-7. Reports from Knoxville team doctors say Bubba should be available to play in next week's game, but unmentioned injuries should prevent at least ONE of the Jackson cousins from carrying on the family name."

sachmo71 · 05-12-2003, 10:11 AM

Whoa...where is my running game?

Marmel · 05-12-2003, 10:14 AM

If we can't win games, at least we are kicking the other team in the nutsack!

revrew · 05-12-2003, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by sachmo71
Whoa...where is my running game?

Perhaps I didn't make that clear. San Antonio's running game scored twice. It's your passing game that disappeared (thanks, in large part to ABB'Q's Troy McClure).

sachmo71 · 05-12-2003, 11:36 AM

I see, rev. Thanks.

It's only natural that my kicker would come out on top. I mean, a hot dog is sort of a sandwich, right?

JeeberD · 05-12-2003, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by revrew
Fargo's veteran wideout Shane found paydirt as well (we won't mention what part rookie CB JeeberD had in that)...It's been a good week for rookies (except, maybe, for JeeberD) thus far!

Do you find it fun to pick on the 98 pound weakling?

NevStar · 05-12-2003, 12:12 PM

"Duff Man has a serious case of diarhhea. Ohhhh YEAH!!"

Uh huh. Fair and impartial selection of tie-breaking contests. Yeah. I believe it.

tucker342 · 05-12-2003, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by revrew

But, alas, there is no rejoicing in Mudville. Mighty Zeus has struck out. The game was decided as the Olympian QB attempted a rare screen pass to WR Revrew only to watch PT CB Kosh take it back for a score. Portland wins, 28-21."

DAMN YOU ZEUS! DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!

Coffee Warlord · 05-12-2003, 07:12 PM

You are not ready for immortality, Zeus.

DolphinFan1 · 05-12-2003, 09:18 PM

I'd like to thank all my diehard fans who have supported the Muscle Men from the beginning. We have finally rewarded you with a win. Now let's try to make it two in a row.

JeeberD · 05-12-2003, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DolphinFan1
I'd like to thank all my diehard fans who have supported the Muscle Men from the beginning. We have finally rewarded you with a win. Now let's try to make it two in a row.

It's gotta be the luck of the JeeberD. The Muscle Men are perfect with him!

tucker342 · 05-12-2003, 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
You are not ready for immortality, Zeus.

He's ready for immortality.

Immortality of SUCKING ASS!!!! OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

revrew · 05-13-2003, 10:34 AM

WR Revrew seconds the motion for Zeus' lynching.

Week 2
"In L.A. (0-1), the Birmingham Olympians (0-1) carried in the same strategy as last week, only this time on a dry field.

Star DE Vin Diesel tried fast and furiously to contain Olympian hero Artemis, but Birmingham's OT Poseidon ensured the Diesel got nowhere near his runningback. Off-tackle left, off-tackle left, off-tackle left, and Artemis bulldozed his way to 124 yards and two touchdowns.

But after getting redfaced by the Rednecks last week, L.A. secondarymen Ray Liotta and Paul Sorvino came up big to shut down the Olympian passing game.

The real defensive playmakers this week, however, were Birmingham's DT Hera (who helped hold the Stars to 47 yards on the ground) and CB Odysseus, who picked off Star QB James Earl Jones twice.

Another bad offensive showing (get used to it) for the Stars, as they fall before the Olympians, 14-0."

*****
"Further up the coast, in Portland (1-0), the Sea Biscuits were challenged by Little Rock (0-1). Or, at least they were supposed to be.

Little Rock's defense put up little resistance as Antonio De La Tonio showed flashes of his MVP-form, tallying up 187 yards and 3 scores. And not that Little Rock's secondary was much help, either. Portland QB Ivan Ivanivich hit Werner Voss in the endzone once and Manfred von Richthofen twice, pushing the score up to 42.

Little Rock in this game, however, did little more than push up daisies. Rajah Saleem managed to punch one in behind rookie Keith "Slap" Slapinski, but his ypc total was abysmal. The Slick Willies found paydirt once more in the fourth when newly acquired DE Mark rambled an Ivan Ivanivich fumble back for 7, but by then the game was decided. Portland wins, 42-14."

*****
"The Muscle Men (1-0) had an opportunity to stretch their muscles, as well as their first-ever winning streak against the Margaritas (1-0) this week. Unfortunately, San Antonio reminded the Muscle Men why the Margaritas finished second in the league last year.

San Antonio's powerful one-two punch in the running game behind star OG Da Man and surprise rookie OG Pancake were way too much for Milwaukee DTs Sampson and Godzilla. The ZFL's best offensive line paved the way for Ron Dayne to run for 102 and 2 scores, while leaving room for Metalhead to rack up 113 and one score.

Meanwhile, Handoff King seemed to find his groove, completing several play-action passes for 255 and a score.

As for Milwaukee, the "new look" balanced offense scored once by ground and once by air, but neither found time to operate as the Margaritas drank up the clock.

San Antonio still looks hot, pounding Milwaukee 28-14."

*****
"Fargo (0-1), who didn't fare well last week against the Muscle Men, faced an even tougher Lake Michigan battle this week, as they challenged defending champs Chicago (1-0).

Apparently, Chicago was upset about giving up a touchdown last week. On the first drive of the game, DE Jason Pepper pressured Fargo QB Killer into an off-balance pass that was scooped up by safety Ajimba Haad, who showed he still has plenty of jets in his 35-year-old legs. The ancient mideastern warrior fought his way to the endzone and gave Chicago a quick, 7-0 lead.

A team defensive effort by Chicago's front 6 punished rookie RB Glutton for Punishment and made FB Girl look like, well, a girl. No running game for the Crawdads today.

Meanwhile, Chicago QB Vincent Steele quietly put up 2 touchdowns and rookie FB Ty Wick found the endzone for the first time in his ZFL career.

Coupled with a shutout, Chicago walks a way with an easy, 28-0 victory."

*****
"And in the game that most predicted would be the best this week, Knoxville (1-0) and Albuquerque (0-1) didn't disappoint. Let the fireworks begin!

The ABB'Q defense was stymied today trying to tie up Samuel 'The South Will Rise Again' Jackson and Robby 'Action' Jackson. Behind the stone wall of two Jacksons, Fort Sumter and Lee Davis, the Jackson backs piled up a combined 251 yards on the ground. They could have had 6 touchdowns between them as well (AQ rookie DT Nelson 'The Hammer' Muntz got nailed today), except that Knoxville's coach decided to give 'Thumbless' Bo Jackson some easy tuddies on goal-line play action passes. Jim Bob Jackson, Jackson Jackson, and even Thomas Jefferson Jackson on a tackle-eligible play slurped up the scores.

But before you think Knoxville rolled over the Isotopes, consider Moe 'Kid Gruesome' Sizzlack torched safety Johnny 'Nascar' Jackson and CB Billy Ray Jackson, firing bullets with every precious but few second the Knoxville offense allowed Albuquerque to have. Sizzle poured on better than 500 yards and firing touchdowns to rookie WR The Cheat, Carl Carlsson, and 2 to FB Homer "Jay" Simpson. Homer scored again on the ground once, making a nice trifecta for the donut king.

After watching the ZFL's two best young QBs duel it out, and after the dust settled, the score remained knotted at an incredible 42-42. And you know what that means...bring on the kickers!

The ZFL grounds crew got to work quickly as the stadium was blacked out for 5 solid minutes. The scraping sound of heavy machinery thundered in the darkness. Hammers and nails, air wrenches and cranes in synchronized rhythm began the greatest 5-minute construction plan in architectural history. When the 5 minutes ended, the stadium was flooded in black light, and the fans saw before them a massive, eerily lit, miniature Gotham City in the center of the field. And standing at each end were the two teams' kickers, prepared for a sudden death match of Laser Tag!

Still stinging after last week's loss, ABB'Q kicker Duff Man pulled what may be the most brilliant, as well as the most controversial move of the season. As soon as he realized what contest he would engage in against Knoxville kicker Peyton Manning, Duff Man immediately switched jerseys. He tore off his #88 jersey and replaced it with a #81. Why? We asked Duff after the game...

'Everybody knows Manning can't hit anything except #88,' Duff Man said. 'The safest guy on the field is any receiver wearing any number other than 88.'

Apparently the strategy worked. Manning didn't land a shot before Duff Man drilled the stiff, poor-scrambling kicker 5 times. Manning attempted to call timeout repeatedly, but ABB'Q still wins the game, 45-42.

Said Manning afterwards, 'Gee, maybe Vanderjagt was right. This kicking gig is tough.'"

*****
In other news, the Knoxville-Albuquerque game was such a spectacular event that ESPN pre-empted coverage of Martha Burk's protest of the Iron"Man" contest to broadcast the game in a tape-delay.

The ratings were so high that ESPN2 will carry the game again on Wednesday. League Commissioner Rev Rew reports that ESPN, NBC, and FOX have expressed an interest in nationally broadcasting ZFL games, even before this season concludes.

"With possible expansion next year," said Rew, "the additional income from more lucrative television contracts could enable the ZFL to prosper beyond our original hopes. At this point projections clearly indicate that the ZFL should exceed the XFL, USFL, and even NFL Europe in profitability and sustainability. This is a great day for ZFL football."

sachmo71 · 05-13-2003, 11:12 AM

Go ZFL!! Whoo hoo!

digamma · 05-13-2003, 12:03 PM

Manning still hasn't met a big game situation he liked.
Any guesses for one of the Rednecks top priorities in next year's draft?

JeeberD · 05-13-2003, 01:19 PM

Argh, Milwaukee lost and I didn't even have anything to do with it. Next week the winning streak will resume...

Coffee Warlord · 05-13-2003, 01:27 PM

3 teams remain undefeated, with the Marquee Matchup next week, with Chicago going up against Portland.

DolphinFan1 · 05-13-2003, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by JeeberD
Argh, Milwaukee lost and I didn't even have anything to do with it. Next week the winning streak will resume...

Have no fear, JeeberD. We will rebound and make it interesting. Besides, we play Birmingham next week and I hear that QB- Zeus isn't wanted. All we have to do is rattle his cage and he will choke. You might even get an interception. Go, Muscle Men.

NevStar · 05-13-2003, 05:30 PM

Actually, Duff Man was misquoted. He wanted me to set the record straight.

"Duff Man knows Manning can't hit anything except #88. 'The safest guy on the field is any receiver wearing any number other than 88. Ohhh Yeah!!"

tucker342 · 05-13-2003, 06:26 PM

I'm not worried, since JeeberD is in the secondary, Zeus should have a huge game

JeeberD · 05-13-2003, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by tucker342
I'm not worried, since JeeberD is in the secondary, Zeus should have a huge game

My feelings are sad...

sachmo71 · 05-15-2003, 10:41 AM

Don't worry, Jeeber. I think you have potential.

revrew · 05-15-2003, 11:01 AM

Good news, Jeeber fans...

Week 3
"The L.A. Stars (0-2) determined rookie stud OT Freddie Prinze Jr. needed to flex his muscles against the Little Rock Slick Willies (0-2). The Stars handed RB Adam Sandler the ball off-tackle, over and over and over...

Punishing strategy? Or desperation move for a pitiful offense?

Unfortunately for the Stars, it looked a lot like the latter. Little Rock's DE Mark waged a valiant war against the rookie phenom, and the Stars could only manage to generate 1 score on the ground. Look out, Milwuakee, L.A. is going to threaten your record this season.

And even though the L.A. secondary completely shut out Little Rock QB Dixon Spiller, the L.A. defense gave up a pair of scores to Slick Willie Rajah Saleem. Two scores is too much for L.A., who falls again, 14-7."

******
"In the first-ever live national broadcast, Portland (2-0) vs. Chicago (2-0) drew a 3.4 market share (impressive for a first, but still needing to increase for long-term profitability). Those few million fans who turned in got to see quite a game!

Portland QB Ivan Ivanivich struggled early against the tough Chicago secondary, and so the Sea Biscuits turned to their powerful ground attack. Versus Chicago's front six maulers, the bone-crushing hits boomed through televisions, rattling the photographs on living room walls everywhere.

Antonio De La Tonio showed just how much of a warrior he is, sustaining abuse at the hands of Eagle MLB Zach Urlacher and OLB Ray Brown. Still, the valiant Italian hammered in 100 yards and two scores. Thanks, largely, to Flamebeard, Troll, and Richthofen.

Meanwhile, unheralded but outstanding Portland DT Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III disrupted the Eagle's running game, holding RB Randy Steele to a single score. In the battle of the league's two best OGs, Flamebeard and Tom Sanders, the running game tally goes to Flamebeard.

But before Neither Here Nor There celebrates the superiority of its native son, consider the passing game. Tom Sanders protected his QB, Vincent Steele, against any and all attackers, and the Eagle passing game was both efficient and deadly. WRs Chad Spears and Jet each hauled in a score, and the Eagles tallied 21, holding a one-touchdown lead going into the fourth.

The final quarter proved a spectacular defensive battle. Portland's MLB Sectoid Commander, a surprising rookie, lifted his team upon his young back and ended the Eagle attack. The Eagle swarm, meanwhile, played a bend-but-don't break, which sapped the energy of the running game.

In the last minute, facing a first and goal from the 4, Portland turned to their behemoth guards to plow Antonio in for the tie. But Eagle DTs victor Green and Marshall Williams held their ground, allowing Zach Urlacher and Ray Brown to slice in for the tackles. 2nd and goal from the 2. 3rd and goal from the 1. 4th and goal from the 3. Game over. Chicago wins, 21-14."

*****
"The fans who tuned into ESPN2 late Sunday night got to see what might be considered a 'changing of the guard' in the ZFL, as the San Antonio Margaritas (2-0) visited the Knoxville Rednecks (1-1).

The veteran offensive linemen for the Margaritas, Lard Ass and Da Man hammered on Knoxville's front 6, as FB Metalhead ground in 2 scores and Ron Dayne added another.

But ball-control wasn't going to work as well as San Antonio hoped. Knoxville's quick-strike offense blasted catches of 55 and 49 yards for WR Jackson Jackson, and RB Robby 'Action' Jackson sprinted for 33 and 68 yards. Knoxville apparently doesn't need time to score; they just need the ball.

San Antonio couldn't prevent the Rednecks from getting the rock, and by the time the smoke cleared, the Margaritas were looking at a rare loss, dropping a game to Knoxville, 35-28."

*****
In the only game NOT decided by a single score this week, the Albuquerque Isotopes (1-1) crushed the Fargo Fighting Crawfish (0-2).

Young Farbo RB Glutton for Punishment continues to impress, especially when running behind OGs Eric and Matt, chewing up yards and plunging to paydirt twice.

But QB Killer couldn't get it going, tossing INTs to OLB Cletus 'The Slack Jawed' Yokel and safety Troy McClure. McClure, by the way, took his back for a score. You sure this guy is on DEFENSE??

Meanwhile, Isotope QB 'Kid Gruesome' lit up Fargo's Deep and Deeper, tossing 2 TDs and setting up play action runs that enabled I.M. Stopgap to fool enough people to score twice.

Albu-Q BB'Q'd the Crawfish (do they taste good that way? I've only tried 'em Cajun style) 35-14."

******
"It's evident that both Milwaukee (1-1) and Birmingham (1-1) made strides in the offseason. Which improved more? Today's game would give a glimpse.

Milwaukee decided to try out their new running game full-speed. And though B'ham DT Hera stuffed everything that went left, DT Athena looked like a sieve. Bulldozer plowed her (oops, is Athena a him? Couldn't tell today) over for 3 scores in a day that made the 'dozer look like Rookie of the Year.

But before one speaks of impressive runningbacks, Birmingham's The-Art-'of running'-amis also notched up a triplet, including an impressive bob-and-weave TD around Milwaukee's stud OLB Superman. Don't expect the man of steel to be fooled by that one again.

The difference, today, however, proved to be the quarterbacks and secondary. While Bullseye gave up an uncharacteristic pair of INTs to B'ham safety Odysseus, he still managed to find The Flash for a score.

Meanwhile, WR Rev-"Give me the damn ball"-rew found his QB, Zeus, more capable of throwing to rookie CB JeeberD than to his own teammates. Jeeber hauled down a surprising 2 INTs on the day, ensuring the Muscle Men would win, 28-21."

Coffee Warlord · 05-15-2003, 11:03 AM

Damn! Close game, but grrrrr.

We'll beat you yet, Chicago.

sachmo71 · 05-15-2003, 11:06 AM

Ewww. My poor defense.

Swaggs · 05-15-2003, 11:33 AM

Will Chicago ever lose?

digamma · 05-15-2003, 11:43 AM

The race for second and third just got interesting.

JeeberD · 05-15-2003, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by revrew
Good news, Jeeber fans...

Meanwhile, WR Rev-"Give me the damn ball"-rew found his QB, Zeus, more capable of throwing to rookie CB JeeberD than to his own teammates. Jeeber hauled down a surprising 2 INTs on the day, ensuring the Muscle Men would win, 28-21."

WOOHOO!!!!!!

sachmo71 · 05-15-2003, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sachmo71
Don't worry, Jeeber. I think you have potential.

You're welcome, you little Oilers fan, you!

JeeberD · 05-15-2003, 03:33 PM

OK Satch, you can have my first game ball. Thanks you for believing in me... *tears up*

Swaggs · 05-15-2003, 03:48 PM

Next season, we should split into two divisions with the top two in each division making the postseason.

DolphinFan1 · 05-15-2003, 03:53 PM

JeeberD, I told you not to worry. I had a feeling you were going to have a good day. Good job.

DolphinFan1 · 05-15-2003, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Swaggs
Next season, we should split into two divisions with the top two in each division making the postseason.

Even with the predicted 2 team expansion, that would mean only a 5 game season. I think that breaking into two divisions might have to wait until we have more teams. Like 16 or 18.

revrew · 05-15-2003, 05:38 PM

Whoa! Hold on with the "changing the league" discussion. Dolphin answered Swaggs thoughts with a reasonable reply, but let's keep that tabled and stick to business for the rest of this year. Or, if you're just absolutely ITCHIN to talk about expansion and or league division, let's start a different thread. I don't want this fan-friendly thread to get cluttered up with insider GM stuff.

As for "will Chicago ever lose?", be patient. This season ain't over, baby (and I've simmed ahead several weeks, so I know what's going to happen). I guarantee this may be the most exciting season of ZFL yet! Chicago snuck by Portland -- just barely -- but they've still got San Antonio, Albuquerque, and Knoxville to go. That's no cakewalk, believe me.

digamma · 05-15-2003, 05:52 PM

No fair simming ahead...we want to know!!!

Go 'Necks!

illinifan999 · 05-15-2003, 07:36 PM

Uh oh, I don't like that reply by rev, We won't ever lose, remember the deal.......errrr........I mean.........the plan.......no that's not it......

tucker342 · 05-15-2003, 10:57 PM

Even JeeberD had a good game against Zeus!!! I need a new QB...

Swaggs · 05-15-2003, 11:12 PM

Sorry rev, didn't mean to stir the pot, just thinking out loud.

Still, it would be nice to have Chicago in another division, or league for that matter.

JeeberD · 05-16-2003, 01:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by DolphinFan1
JeeberD, I told you not to worry. I had a feeling you were going to have a good day. Good job.

Thanks!

It's good to have a coach that believes in you...

DolphinFan1 · 05-16-2003, 07:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JeeberD
Thanks!

It's good to have a coach that believes in you...

Even if that player admits to using his bonus money to start his own franchise. And he calls his GM foolish.

revrew · 05-16-2003, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Swaggs
Sorry rev, didn't mean to stir the pot, just thinking out loud.

Still, it would be nice to have Chicago in another division, or league for that matter.

Watch the PF and PA as the season progresses. I think you'll find another team or two you'd wish "were in another division".

05-09-2003, 10:10 PM	#2
revrew Team Chaplain Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA	As for the standings, I could use an assistant Commish. Could one of you create a post with all the teams and their records listed? That way I can slim my time-commitment by having someone else update the standings after each "week". Thanks! __________________ Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.

05-10-2003, 01:36 AM	#5
Swaggs Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Thanks for throwing me a bone with Chicago in week 1, rev. __________________ DOWN WITH HATTRICK!!! The RWBL Are you reading In The Bleachers?

05-10-2003, 01:05 PM	#6
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	What's the address for the (?illinifan's?) website again? I need to bookmark it. Thanks... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

05-10-2003, 01:57 PM	#7
illinifan999 Pro Rookie Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: VA	www.zfl.iwarp.com __________________ Chicago Eagles 2 time ZFL champions We're "rebuilding"

05-12-2003, 08:00 AM	#9
DolphinFan1 College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Connecticut	I predict that the Milwaukee Muscle Men will win more games than last season. __________________ GM of the Milwaukee Muscle Men of the ZFL. The 1st team in ZFL history to have a perfect losing season. I am on a quest to show that the Dolphins can win the Super Bowl. Or should I say Front Office Bowl, with FOF2K7. The revival of an old favorite, FOFC Wrestling Dynasty

05-09-2003, 10:23 PM	#4
Coffee Warlord Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Colorado Springs	Dola. There ya go, Rev.

05-10-2003, 02:37 PM	#8
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Sweet, thanks illini... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

05-12-2003, 09:44 AM	#10
revrew Team Chaplain Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA	CW - Thanks a bunch! Good idea adding PF and PA--you just saved me one spreadsheet I have to deal with. Swaggs - Sorry, man, somebody had to bite the bullet early. (But fair warning, Chicago may not be the team you most have to fear this year...) Dolphin - Wish and prediction granted early! Now if I can just remember that they're the MUSCLE Men and not Mighty Men. I keep messing that up :embarrassed: Week 1 "The defending champion Chicago Eagles kicked off the season against Arakansaw's finest in Little Rock. Slick Willie Rajah Saleem flashed memories of Barry Sanders against the vaulted Chicago defense, getting thrown down behind the line a dozen times, only to hop up and sprint off a 70-yard touchdown run. OT Renaldo Buckler sprang Saleem for the sprint, as Chicago's bid for a shutout season ends early. The Eagle offense, however, looked remarkably improved over last year, efficiently eating up yardage with Randy Steele tearing it up behind powerful OG Tom Sanders. QB Vincent Steele put new WR Jet in the crosshairs early, shooting touchdowns to the veteran wideout in the first and third period. In the end, said Eagle rookie FB Ty wick, Chicago showed Little Rock 'what a real ball-control game looks like,' and the champs begin the season with a win, 28-7." **** "In Milwaukee, the Fargo Fighting Crawfish pushed the ball as much as possible with rookie RB Glutton for Punishment. Glutton gobbled up 112 yards on 28 carries, as well as scoring his first ZFL touchdown. Fargo's veteran wideout Shane found paydirt as well (we won't mention what part rookie CB JeeberD had in that), but the offensive firepower today came from last-year's weakling, the Milwaukee Muscle Men. All-ZFL QB Bullseye burned Fargo's Deep and Deeper for 300+ and a trio of scores, while rookie runningbacks Ricky "The Answer" Williams and Bulldozer each added their own. It's been a good week for rookies (except, maybe, for JeeberD) thus far! And a good week for Milwaukee, who wins their first ever game, while home fans look on, 35-14." * "Some figured the southwestern war between San Antonio and Albuquerque would be an offensive battle. It was a battle alright, but the credit goes to the defenses. Early in the first, a ball that dribbled off the fingertips of Margarita rookie WR Primetime (they couldn't all have good days) fell into the waiting arms of secondary superhero, Isotope safety Troy McClure. It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a touchdown for Albuquerque! But San Anton's fine MLB Ray Lewis terrorized Isotope RB I.M.Stopgap, limiting the rook to 24 yards on 15 carries. Maniacal Margarita DEs All-Pro and Bookend continued where they left off in last-year's bloodbath of opponent's QBs, sacking Moe 'Kid Gruesome' Sizzlack 5 times. Gruesome had a gruesome day, managing few yards and only one TD. ABB'Q DTs Nelson 'The Hammer Muntz' and Capatain McAllister also haunted their opponents' backfield, holding the Southern Screen to barely 200 yards and no scores. San Antonio sure looked like they miss vet WR Jet. At the end of four, two scores on the ground for SA made it a dead even tie, 14-14. Bring out the kickers! San Antonio's Eater of Sandwiches was a natural favorite in this matchup, as the league preselected (done prior to the setting of the schedule so the league's integrity can't be questioned) a hot dog eating contest to determine the winner. Surprisingly, Isotope kicker Duff Man showed quite an appetite on the day, scarfing down the Oscar Mayers at considerable speed. In the end, it was 24 dogs for Eater of Sandwiches, a valiant 22 for Duff Man, and San Antonio gets the win, 17-14. Now what other league in the world decides crucial matchups like this with wiener wars? Can you imagine the commentary in week 7? 'I know it was early in the season, but those two hotdogs are really coming back to haunt the Isotopes.' What a riot!" ** "There is no turf left in Birmingham. Three inches of rain and two teams determined to duke it out on the ground has turned the Olympians' stadium into a mud bath. GM tucker is either going to make some money with renting the stadium out as a dayspa or utilize it instead to wallow in the woe of a close defeat at the hands of Portland. Somewhere in that sea of brown jerseys, Erik Flamebeard and Tim the Troll plowed the way for Antonio De La Tonio to score twice. At least I think it was twice. That third touchdown looked like Boris 'Bruiser' Boriche, but I couldn't be sure. The Olympian hogs, Dionysus and (the OG formerly known as Troy) pushed Portland back to make way for 3 scores from Artemis. But, alas, there is no rejoicing in Mudville. Mighty Zeus has struck out. The game was decided as the Olympian QB attempted a rare screen pass to WR Revrew only to watch PT CB Kosh take it back for a score. Portland wins, 28-21." * "Any lingering doubts anyone had about Knoxville rookie QB "Thumbless" Bo Jackson are now and forever dispelled. 'Thumbless' came out of the chute looking like a Cedar Rapids stock boy, launching deep posts to WR Jackson Jackson early and often. Even L.A.'s excellent secondary stopped to watch the fireworks as Jackson hit Jackson for 211 yards and 3 scores. Oh, and the running game is still there, too. The Jackson backs punched in two more, giving the Knoxville Rednecks, looking like the ZFL version of the '99 Rams, 35 points. In the face of a total annihilation of the Stars, you do have to give some credit, however, to L.A. runningback, Adam Sandler, who made ESPN's play of the week spotlight. Apparently, Knoxville OLB Bubba Jackson found cause to taunt the L.A. runner late in the fourth. Facing a 3rd and 12 on the Knoxville 34, Sandler seemed to take offense at the OLB's remarks. He started huffing and puffing and blowing steam. When James Earl Jones handed Sandler the ball, he literally leapt over the entire pile of players at the line of scrimmage, plowing his body deep into the chest of his nemesis, Bubba Jackson. As the two crumbled to the ground, Sandler found sure footing for his cleats somewhere in Jackson's groin and continued the run to the endzone. In a rare shining moment, L.A. scored 7, but lose the game 35-7. Reports from Knoxville team doctors say Bubba should be available to play in next week's game, but unmentioned injuries should prevent at least ONE of the Jackson cousins from carrying on the family name." __________________ Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year** Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.

05-12-2003, 10:11 AM	#11
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	Whoa...where is my running game?

05-12-2003, 10:14 AM	#12
Marmel Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Manchester, CT	If we can't win games, at least we are kicking the other team in the nutsack! __________________ 81-78 Cincinnati basketball writer P. Daugherty, "Connor Barwin playing several minutes against Syracuse is like kids with slingshots taking down Caesar's legions."

05-12-2003, 11:36 AM	#14
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	I see, rev. Thanks. It's only natural that my kicker would come out on top. I mean, a hot dog is sort of a sandwich, right?

05-12-2003, 12:12 PM	#16
NevStar High School Varsity Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Raleigh, NC	"Duff Man has a serious case of diarhhea. Ohhhh YEAH!!" Uh huh. Fair and impartial selection of tie-breaking contests. Yeah. I believe it. __________________ I can't think of a clever signature.

05-12-2003, 07:12 PM	#18
Coffee Warlord Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Colorado Springs	You are not ready for immortality, Zeus.

05-12-2003, 09:18 PM	#19
DolphinFan1 College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Connecticut	I'd like to thank all my diehard fans who have supported the Muscle Men from the beginning. We have finally rewarded you with a win. Now let's try to make it two in a row. __________________ GM of the Milwaukee Muscle Men of the ZFL. The 1st team in ZFL history to have a perfect losing season. I am on a quest to show that the Dolphins can win the Super Bowl. Or should I say Front Office Bowl, with FOF2K7. The revival of an old favorite, FOFC Wrestling Dynasty

05-13-2003, 10:34 AM	#22
revrew Team Chaplain Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA	WR Revrew seconds the motion for Zeus' lynching. Week 2 "In L.A. (0-1), the Birmingham Olympians (0-1) carried in the same strategy as last week, only this time on a dry field. Star DE Vin Diesel tried fast and furiously to contain Olympian hero Artemis, but Birmingham's OT Poseidon ensured the Diesel got nowhere near his runningback. Off-tackle left, off-tackle left, off-tackle left, and Artemis bulldozed his way to 124 yards and two touchdowns. But after getting redfaced by the Rednecks last week, L.A. secondarymen Ray Liotta and Paul Sorvino came up big to shut down the Olympian passing game. The real defensive playmakers this week, however, were Birmingham's DT Hera (who helped hold the Stars to 47 yards on the ground) and CB Odysseus, who picked off Star QB James Earl Jones twice. Another bad offensive showing (get used to it) for the Stars, as they fall before the Olympians, 14-0." *** "Further up the coast, in Portland (1-0), the Sea Biscuits were challenged by Little Rock (0-1). Or, at least they were supposed to be. Little Rock's defense put up little resistance as Antonio De La Tonio showed flashes of his MVP-form, tallying up 187 yards and 3 scores. And not that Little Rock's secondary was much help, either. Portland QB Ivan Ivanivich hit Werner Voss in the endzone once and Manfred von Richthofen twice, pushing the score up to 42. Little Rock in this game, however, did little more than push up daisies. Rajah Saleem managed to punch one in behind rookie Keith "Slap" Slapinski, but his ypc total was abysmal. The Slick Willies found paydirt once more in the fourth when newly acquired DE Mark rambled an Ivan Ivanivich fumble back for 7, but by then the game was decided. Portland wins, 42-14." * "The Muscle Men (1-0) had an opportunity to stretch their muscles, as well as their first-ever winning streak against the Margaritas (1-0) this week. Unfortunately, San Antonio reminded the Muscle Men why the Margaritas finished second in the league last year. San Antonio's powerful one-two punch in the running game behind star OG Da Man and surprise rookie OG Pancake were way too much for Milwaukee DTs Sampson and Godzilla. The ZFL's best offensive line paved the way for Ron Dayne to run for 102 and 2 scores, while leaving room for Metalhead to rack up 113 and one score. Meanwhile, Handoff King seemed to find his groove, completing several play-action passes for 255 and a score. As for Milwaukee, the "new look" balanced offense scored once by ground and once by air, but neither found time to operate as the Margaritas drank up the clock. San Antonio still looks hot, pounding Milwaukee 28-14." * "Fargo (0-1), who didn't fare well last week against the Muscle Men, faced an even tougher Lake Michigan battle this week, as they challenged defending champs Chicago (1-0). Apparently, Chicago was upset about giving up a touchdown last week. On the first drive of the game, DE Jason Pepper pressured Fargo QB Killer into an off-balance pass that was scooped up by safety Ajimba Haad, who showed he still has plenty of jets in his 35-year-old legs. The ancient mideastern warrior fought his way to the endzone and gave Chicago a quick, 7-0 lead. A team defensive effort by Chicago's front 6 punished rookie RB Glutton for Punishment and made FB Girl look like, well, a girl. No running game for the Crawdads today. Meanwhile, Chicago QB Vincent Steele quietly put up 2 touchdowns and rookie FB Ty Wick found the endzone for the first time in his ZFL career. Coupled with a shutout, Chicago walks a way with an easy, 28-0 victory." * "And in the game that most predicted would be the best this week, Knoxville (1-0) and Albuquerque (0-1) didn't disappoint. Let the fireworks begin! The ABB'Q defense was stymied today trying to tie up Samuel 'The South Will Rise Again' Jackson and Robby 'Action' Jackson. Behind the stone wall of two Jacksons, Fort Sumter and Lee Davis, the Jackson backs piled up a combined 251 yards on the ground. They could have had 6 touchdowns between them as well (AQ rookie DT Nelson 'The Hammer' Muntz got nailed today), except that Knoxville's coach decided to give 'Thumbless' Bo Jackson some easy tuddies on goal-line play action passes. Jim Bob Jackson, Jackson Jackson, and even Thomas Jefferson Jackson on a tackle-eligible play slurped up the scores. But before you think Knoxville rolled over the Isotopes, consider Moe 'Kid Gruesome' Sizzlack torched safety Johnny 'Nascar' Jackson and CB Billy Ray Jackson, firing bullets with every precious but few second the Knoxville offense allowed Albuquerque to have. Sizzle poured on better than 500 yards and firing touchdowns to rookie WR The Cheat, Carl Carlsson, and 2 to FB Homer "Jay" Simpson. Homer scored again on the ground once, making a nice trifecta for the donut king. After watching the ZFL's two best young QBs duel it out, and after the dust settled, the score remained knotted at an incredible 42-42. And you know what that means...bring on the kickers! The ZFL grounds crew got to work quickly as the stadium was blacked out for 5 solid minutes. The scraping sound of heavy machinery thundered in the darkness. Hammers and nails, air wrenches and cranes in synchronized rhythm began the greatest 5-minute construction plan in architectural history. When the 5 minutes ended, the stadium was flooded in black light, and the fans saw before them a massive, eerily lit, miniature Gotham City in the center of the field. And standing at each end were the two teams' kickers, prepared for a sudden death match of Laser Tag! Still stinging after last week's loss, ABB'Q kicker Duff Man pulled what may be the most brilliant, as well as the most controversial move of the season. As soon as he realized what contest he would engage in against Knoxville kicker Peyton Manning, Duff Man immediately switched jerseys. He tore off his #88 jersey and replaced it with a #81. Why? We asked Duff after the game... 'Everybody knows Manning can't hit anything except #88,' Duff Man said. 'The safest guy on the field is any receiver wearing any number other than 88.' Apparently the strategy worked. Manning didn't land a shot before Duff Man drilled the stiff, poor-scrambling kicker 5 times. Manning attempted to call timeout repeatedly, but ABB'Q still wins the game, 45-42. Said Manning afterwards, 'Gee, maybe Vanderjagt was right. This kicking gig is tough.'" * In other news, the Knoxville-Albuquerque game was such a spectacular event that ESPN pre-empted coverage of Martha Burk's protest of the Iron"Man" contest to broadcast the game in a tape-delay. The ratings were so high that ESPN2 will carry the game again on Wednesday. League Commissioner Rev Rew reports that ESPN, NBC, and FOX have expressed an interest in nationally broadcasting ZFL games, even before this season concludes. "With possible expansion next year," said Rew, "the additional income from more lucrative television contracts could enable the ZFL to prosper beyond our original hopes. At this point projections clearly indicate that the ZFL should exceed the XFL, USFL, and even NFL Europe in profitability and sustainability. This is a great day for ZFL football." __________________ Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year** Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.

05-13-2003, 11:12 AM	#23
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	Go ZFL!! Whoo hoo!

05-13-2003, 12:03 PM	#24
digamma Torchbearer Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: On Lake Harriet	Manning still hasn't met a big game situation he liked. Any guesses for one of the Rednecks top priorities in next year's draft?

05-13-2003, 01:19 PM	#25
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Argh, Milwaukee lost and I didn't even have anything to do with it. Next week the winning streak will resume... __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

05-13-2003, 01:27 PM	#26
Coffee Warlord Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Colorado Springs	3 teams remain undefeated, with the Marquee Matchup next week, with Chicago going up against Portland.

05-13-2003, 05:30 PM	#28
NevStar High School Varsity Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Raleigh, NC	Actually, Duff Man was misquoted. He wanted me to set the record straight. "Duff Man knows Manning can't hit anything except #88. 'The safest guy on the field is any receiver wearing any number other than 88. Ohhh Yeah!!" __________________ I can't think of a clever signature.

05-13-2003, 06:26 PM	#29
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA	I'm not worried, since JeeberD is in the secondary, Zeus should have a huge game

05-15-2003, 10:41 AM	#31
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	Don't worry, Jeeber. I think you have potential.

05-15-2003, 11:01 AM	#32
revrew Team Chaplain Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA	Good news, Jeeber fans... Week 3 "The L.A. Stars (0-2) determined rookie stud OT Freddie Prinze Jr. needed to flex his muscles against the Little Rock Slick Willies (0-2). The Stars handed RB Adam Sandler the ball off-tackle, over and over and over... Punishing strategy? Or desperation move for a pitiful offense? Unfortunately for the Stars, it looked a lot like the latter. Little Rock's DE Mark waged a valiant war against the rookie phenom, and the Stars could only manage to generate 1 score on the ground. Look out, Milwuakee, L.A. is going to threaten your record this season. And even though the L.A. secondary completely shut out Little Rock QB Dixon Spiller, the L.A. defense gave up a pair of scores to Slick Willie Rajah Saleem. Two scores is too much for L.A., who falls again, 14-7." **** "In the first-ever live national broadcast, Portland (2-0) vs. Chicago (2-0) drew a 3.4 market share (impressive for a first, but still needing to increase for long-term profitability). Those few million fans who turned in got to see quite a game! Portland QB Ivan Ivanivich struggled early against the tough Chicago secondary, and so the Sea Biscuits turned to their powerful ground attack. Versus Chicago's front six maulers, the bone-crushing hits boomed through televisions, rattling the photographs on living room walls everywhere. Antonio De La Tonio showed just how much of a warrior he is, sustaining abuse at the hands of Eagle MLB Zach Urlacher and OLB Ray Brown. Still, the valiant Italian hammered in 100 yards and two scores. Thanks, largely, to Flamebeard, Troll, and Richthofen. Meanwhile, unheralded but outstanding Portland DT Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III disrupted the Eagle's running game, holding RB Randy Steele to a single score. In the battle of the league's two best OGs, Flamebeard and Tom Sanders, the running game tally goes to Flamebeard. But before Neither Here Nor There celebrates the superiority of its native son, consider the passing game. Tom Sanders protected his QB, Vincent Steele, against any and all attackers, and the Eagle passing game was both efficient and deadly. WRs Chad Spears and Jet each hauled in a score, and the Eagles tallied 21, holding a one-touchdown lead going into the fourth. The final quarter proved a spectacular defensive battle. Portland's MLB Sectoid Commander, a surprising rookie, lifted his team upon his young back and ended the Eagle attack. The Eagle swarm, meanwhile, played a bend-but-don't break, which sapped the energy of the running game. In the last minute, facing a first and goal from the 4, Portland turned to their behemoth guards to plow Antonio in for the tie. But Eagle DTs victor Green and Marshall Williams held their ground, allowing Zach Urlacher and Ray Brown to slice in for the tackles. 2nd and goal from the 2. 3rd and goal from the 1. 4th and goal from the 3. Game over. Chicago wins, 21-14." * "The fans who tuned into ESPN2 late Sunday night got to see what might be considered a 'changing of the guard' in the ZFL, as the San Antonio Margaritas (2-0) visited the Knoxville Rednecks (1-1). The veteran offensive linemen for the Margaritas, Lard Ass and Da Man hammered on Knoxville's front 6, as FB Metalhead ground in 2 scores and Ron Dayne added another. But ball-control wasn't going to work as well as San Antonio hoped. Knoxville's quick-strike offense blasted catches of 55 and 49 yards for WR Jackson Jackson, and RB Robby 'Action' Jackson sprinted for 33 and 68 yards. Knoxville apparently doesn't need time to score; they just need the ball. San Antonio couldn't prevent the Rednecks from getting the rock, and by the time the smoke cleared, the Margaritas were looking at a rare loss, dropping a game to Knoxville, 35-28." * In the only game NOT decided by a single score this week, the Albuquerque Isotopes (1-1) crushed the Fargo Fighting Crawfish (0-2). Young Farbo RB Glutton for Punishment continues to impress, especially when running behind OGs Eric and Matt, chewing up yards and plunging to paydirt twice. But QB Killer couldn't get it going, tossing INTs to OLB Cletus 'The Slack Jawed' Yokel and safety Troy McClure. McClure, by the way, took his back for a score. You sure this guy is on DEFENSE?? Meanwhile, Isotope QB 'Kid Gruesome' lit up Fargo's Deep and Deeper, tossing 2 TDs and setting up play action runs that enabled I.M. Stopgap to fool enough people to score twice. Albu-Q BB'Q'd the Crawfish (do they taste good that way? I've only tried 'em Cajun style) 35-14." ** "It's evident that both Milwaukee (1-1) and Birmingham (1-1) made strides in the offseason. Which improved more? Today's game would give a glimpse. Milwaukee decided to try out their new running game full-speed. And though B'ham DT Hera stuffed everything that went left, DT Athena looked like a sieve. Bulldozer plowed her (oops, is Athena a him? Couldn't tell today) over for 3 scores in a day that made the 'dozer look like Rookie of the Year. But before one speaks of impressive runningbacks, Birmingham's The-Art-'of running'-amis also notched up a triplet, including an impressive bob-and-weave TD around Milwaukee's stud OLB Superman. Don't expect the man of steel to be fooled by that one again. The difference, today, however, proved to be the quarterbacks and secondary. While Bullseye gave up an uncharacteristic pair of INTs to B'ham safety Odysseus, he still managed to find The Flash for a score. Meanwhile, WR Rev-"Give me the damn ball"-rew found his QB, Zeus, more capable of throwing to rookie CB JeeberD than to his own teammates. Jeeber hauled down a surprising 2 INTs on the day, ensuring the Muscle Men would win, 28-21." __________________ Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year** Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.

05-15-2003, 11:03 AM	#33
Coffee Warlord Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Colorado Springs	Damn! Close game, but grrrrr. We'll beat you yet, Chicago.

05-15-2003, 11:06 AM	#34
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	Ewww. My poor defense.

05-15-2003, 11:33 AM	#35
Swaggs Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Will Chicago ever lose? __________________ DOWN WITH HATTRICK!!! The RWBL Are you reading In The Bleachers?

05-15-2003, 11:43 AM	#36
digamma Torchbearer Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: On Lake Harriet	The race for second and third just got interesting.

05-15-2003, 03:33 PM	#39
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	OK Satch, you can have my first game ball. Thanks you for believing in me... tears up __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

05-15-2003, 03:48 PM	#40
Swaggs Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Next season, we should split into two divisions with the top two in each division making the postseason. __________________ DOWN WITH HATTRICK!!! The RWBL Are you reading In The Bleachers?

05-15-2003, 03:53 PM	#41
DolphinFan1 College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Connecticut	JeeberD, I told you not to worry. I had a feeling you were going to have a good day. Good job. __________________ GM of the Milwaukee Muscle Men of the ZFL. The 1st team in ZFL history to have a perfect losing season. I am on a quest to show that the Dolphins can win the Super Bowl. Or should I say Front Office Bowl, with FOF2K7. The revival of an old favorite, FOFC Wrestling Dynasty

05-15-2003, 05:38 PM	#43
revrew Team Chaplain Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA	Whoa! Hold on with the "changing the league" discussion. Dolphin answered Swaggs thoughts with a reasonable reply, but let's keep that tabled and stick to business for the rest of this year. Or, if you're just absolutely ITCHIN to talk about expansion and or league division, let's start a different thread. I don't want this fan-friendly thread to get cluttered up with insider GM stuff. As for "will Chicago ever lose?", be patient. This season ain't over, baby (and I've simmed ahead several weeks, so I know what's going to happen). I guarantee this may be the most exciting season of ZFL yet! Chicago snuck by Portland -- just barely -- but they've still got San Antonio, Albuquerque, and Knoxville to go. That's no cakewalk, believe me. __________________ Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference.

05-15-2003, 05:52 PM	#44
digamma Torchbearer Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: On Lake Harriet	No fair simming ahead...we want to know!!! Go 'Necks!

05-15-2003, 07:36 PM	#45
illinifan999 Pro Rookie Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: VA	Uh oh, I don't like that reply by rev, We won't ever lose, remember the deal.......errrr........I mean.........the plan.......no that's not it...... __________________ Chicago Eagles 2 time ZFL champions We're "rebuilding"

05-15-2003, 10:57 PM	#46
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA	Even JeeberD had a good game against Zeus!!! I need a new QB...

05-15-2003, 11:12 PM	#47
Swaggs Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Sorry rev, didn't mean to stir the pot, just thinking out loud. Still, it would be nice to have Chicago in another division, or league for that matter. __________________ DOWN WITH HATTRICK!!! The RWBL Are you reading In The Bleachers?