X-COM II: The Earth's Revenge (Part VII)

[Blade]

Great job guys!

[Godzilla Blitz]

Update

Midnight, September 2

While X-COM agents battled the fierce wave of UFO landings of September 2, CapnMorgan managed to scramble his Interceptor and pick off a small UFO over western Russia. The UFO crash landed, and we'll need to send out a team of men to take it on. With both the USA and ASIA Skyrangers still on route home, the task will fall to EU COM, whose Skyranger is currently refueling. We'll send the following ten men out in a couple of hours, and hit the UFO at dawn on the 3rd:

Kodos, Sachmo II, Chief Rum II, Astott, Render II, Klayman II, 3ric III, Anxiety, CTHomer, and Al Hill III.

Good luck, men!

P.S. This will be a special Thursday edition of X-COM II!

Also...

While this is all happening, deep in the nerve center of our EU COM base...

[Godzilla Blitz]

Update

September 3, 12:17AM

Dumee Gewd stared vacantly at blank wall above her radar screen, deep in the dark bowels of EU COM. She wondered why she ever gave up the good pay and free food at the local Kentucky Fried Chicken to take this stupid, boring job as a “First Alert Security Engineer” with X-COM. She thought about naked beaches, and ice cream, and wondered if having sex with aliens would be as much fun as the British tabloids claimed it was. She raised her hand to eye level, turned it around, and stared at her nails. Pretty, she thought. I have such nice sparkly nails. She vaguely wondered about the flashing red glow coming from her radar screen. She wondered how much a plane ticket cost to London. Oh, wait. That’s right. There were no flights to Britain, Germany, or France any more. Not since they’d defected and gone over to the aliens. Damn. And the train lines had been shut down, too. Well, she could always go out with one of the men at the base here. Nah, they’re too nerdy, and she had heard that some of them have replacement body parts from dead soldiers. Hey, wait, that might be kind of—

Wait.

Flashing red glow?

She looked down. In the middle of her screen, representing somewhere in southeast Germany, a small red square was flashing; a red sentence at the bottom of the screen was doing the same thing. She read it:

“NEW ALIEN BASE LOCATED! USE RED LINE TO NOTIFY X-COM COMMAND IMMEDIATELY!”

She snapped up the phone receiver and pressed the red button, patching her immediately in with god-knows-who. Probably another geek thinking he was cool because he carried a big gun. Man, these people thought what they were doing was so damn important. If it was so damn important, why couldn’t they pay her more?

And so it began again.

[Coffee Warlord]

Send my son!

CWJr wants to kick some alien base ass!

[Godzilla Blitz]

Update

September 2, 02:15 AM

TO ALL ACTIVE X-COM AGENTS

CONDITION RED! TOP-SUPER SECRET!

X-COM Control has notified us that the aliens have built a new base in southeast Germany. This means that they now have two functioning bases on Earth, and that is one two many for our immediate purposes. We mean to take out one of these bases.

For those of you that weren’t here for our first base assault, I can tell you that such a mission is beyond dangerous: success is a longshot; high casualties are a given; and the demands on your soldiering skills are extreme. In short, there is no tougher mission that we’ll face in the near future. Therefore, we’ll once again ask for volunteers—from all our bases—to join Special X-COM Strike Force Two. In all, we’ll most likely choose 14 men to go in, but this number may change as the circumstances become clear. This strike force will make the assault from our EU COM base at an unspecified point in the future. Let us know if you want in. Please understand that volunteering does not guarantee that you will be accepted. We are looking to create a unique mix of troops, and will need a range of experience. We need everything from rookies to take the points, to our most decorated vets to keep our assault together. Also, please understand that if you are accepted, the odds are good that you will die. Matter of fact, you are nearly certain to die if you have little combat experience.

Although we are working rapidly to set up the assault, the date and time of the attack—even the exact target—are at this point uncertain. We first need to send in a small recon force to scout the German base, as we want to know what type of aliens inhabit the place. We’ll need volunteers for that as well. Basically, we’d like to avoid the British Sectoid-controlled base if possible, but will attack the British one if it turns out that both bases are Sectoid-controlled.

Men, I can tell you this that this news of the new alien base in Germany makes one thing crystal clear: we are winning the battles but losing the war. You have performed admirably on the battlefield, but the politics of war have led three nations to defect to the alien side, and all other nations of the world to cut their funding to us. We need to teach these aliens a lesson. We need to pound them into the ground. We need to crush this base and crush it good.

You have 48 hours to volunteer for either the recon mission, the base assault, or both. We’ll make our selection announcement shortly after that.

Godspeed,
Godzilla Blitz

[Coffee Warlord]

Arm me to the teeth and throw me into the fray! I'll lead the charge for the assault on whatever base we hit.

Ain't it my turn for the blaster launcher?

[sachmo71]

Gimmie a blaster launcher and send me on the assault. And make sure I have plenty of ammo. And that it's LOADED!

[CamEdwards]

doggone it. I forget to check this dynasty... and now I know why.

Cam III... you died valiantly. Cam IV.... sigh. I don't know if I want a fourth generation to be a soldier. Maybe Cam IV can be a pilot or something.

[JeeberD]

If JeeberD is available, he would love to be of value on the recon mission...

[illinifan999]

Even though IK aint active yet, I'll volunteer for either one or both.

[Kodos]

Commander Kodos will not send one of his men to a place that he himself will not go. Sign me up.

[Blade]

Ouch...not to be pessimistic, but it looks like I may get into active duty sooner than anticipated...

Good luck guys...I know how hard these missions can be!

[3ric]

3ric III gladly volunteer for a very very dangerous base mission! He just has to get back from Russia in one piece!

[Swaggs]

I don't see my name on the "on call" list...

[Abe Sargent]

If I remain alive, and you want a rookie with low bravery and poor stats, I volunteer for either mission.

-Anxiety

[Travis]

Send me in chief, I'll do whatever is needed during the mission, point duty, scout, diversion (aka target for the enemy), whatever.

[Abe Sargent]

Sign posted above Anxiety's bunk:


Anxiety (Ang-ZIE-uh-tee) - n. The state of having fear regarding some future or unknown event which disturbs the mind and keeps it in a state pf painful unease.


Premise One. The Aliens, despite their mindprobes and psionics, do not know us. They never will. truly understand the human conditions and what it means to be human.

Premise Two. Based on previous missions and observed behaviors, the aliens are completely unable to predict the future.

Conclusion One, Premise Three. Therefore, the aliens cannot know or understand our behaviors. We are alien to them.

Premise Four. The aliens are a highly intelligent people with the ability to think and feel.

Conclusion Two. Therefore, the aliens must fear us. They must have anxiety towards us.


They have anxiety. And that is why, in the end, they will lose.




-Anxiety

[NAIWF]

I'd like to volunteer for the recon mission.

[jfbbis]

Sign me up ! I survived so long it would be very sad to die now in some obscure skirmish. But getting killed while leading the assault on an alien base is the stuff legends are made of....

[Alf]

I volunteer (knowing I am healing at SAM.com )

[Godzilla Blitz]

Thanks for all the volunteering! We're getting there!

Cam: How about Cam IV gets the next open pilot spot?

Blade: I have a feeling at least half the people on the waiting list aren't around any more, so don't stray far from your phone. Right now we're waiting for answers from four people, but if they don't check in by this evening, we'll call the next four: Neuqua, Illinifan V, Blade III, and Shorty II. I think we'll move through the waiting list quickly, at least in terms of game time.

Swaggs: Whoops! Sorry! Thanks for letting me know. I fixed it now.

Anxiety: I think you have just earned a second job as the resident X-COM psychologist!

[Swaggs]

I would "opt up," as well, by the way...

[Fonzie]

I believe I'm still recovering from my CamEdwards transplant, but I'd be happy to join any of the above-mentioned frays when I'm healthy.

[DeToxRox]

Fellas', I am taking the liberty of making the X-Com world tour shirt. All the artwork is being done by that guy with the afro who paints bushes, so expect lots of bush, but when you're with DVH, BUSH IS ALWAYS EXPECTED (..Keep smart ass comments to yourself)

[Travis]

You talking the dude with the red hair and the real calming voice? I used to watch him a lot (and his name is escaping me right now) while I was taking art in high school as his techniques were really helpful, but he passed away (I want to say about a year ago), so if it's him, you'll have to get one of his disciples to take up the World Tour shirt, and put me down for a couple!

[Travis]

Dola, the guy I'm thinking of is named Bob Ross and always painted his 'happy little clouds' and bushes.

[Coffee Warlord]

That dude is just not right in the head. Especially with such a large and spacious head.

[Lokugh]

Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
That dude is just not right in the head. Especially with such a large and spacious head.

Hey, Bob Ross, with his happy little clouds and bushes and, most especially, the "happy little tree that lives over here by our pond" was way cool. And watching him paint was weird. He did not appear to actually be doing anything but randomly blotching the canvas and all of a sudden, you'd have a wilderness scene.

However, he is now deceased

Lokugh

[Toddiec]

Hey GB, count me in if you are looking for some air support!

Speaking of air support, I was reclining by my Interceptor reading up on some psychology book that Anxiety sent over to me listening to one of DVH's mix tapes when some kind of red powder jumped off the wing and attacked me!!! Well I jumped up and grabbed a blaster that was nearby and started blasting away (I don't know how I am going to explain all the damage on my Interceptor to Colonel Wade Moore). About 15 minutes later, I came back to the hangar in a Power Suit I had borrowed (you can never be too careful) and got a sample of what was left for Crappy.

Well, I met Crappy in the lab a little later and we had the following conversation:

C - "Well, I found out what the substance is. It is some sort of reddish yellow dust consisting primarily of ferric oxide or hydroxide."

Me - "Oh crap, Crappy! Is it dangerous? It touched me!! Do I have to go to the clinic again?? I am still getting over the stuff that First Alert Security Engineer over at EU COM gave me!"

C - "No. Another word for that chemical coating is rust. Your Interceptor has some rust on it."

Me - "Oooohhhh. Whew, I feel better now........so.....I don't have to go to the clinic, right?"

C - "Get out of my lab."

Needless to say, I am pretty relieved. Now I just have to go find DVH so we can kick back some old school Hamms.

[DeToxRox]

Bob Ross... DEAD?!

WHAT THE DEUCE?!

Oh don't you fret people, the disciples will be out in full force.

And Toddiec, kicking back we shall. Stick with me, you'll never die. You see, together, we are AC/DC, but I'm Angus, you're Malcom, and I guess Kodos can be Bon Scott.

[Kodos]

DVH, if this were a Star Trek movie, you would be on board the Starship Excelsior.

[Airhog]

Sweet, I got another alien toothed necklace

I would gladly give my life up to invade another base

[Travis]

And over here we'll paint our happy little clouds, then take out your 2" brush and dab some paint in whatever way you'd like and make some little trees like this.........and just add some branches however you'd like......and then blow away that little alien by the barn with your happy little blaster and make this world a little happier to live in.

[DeToxRox]

Oh Kodos, how you complete me.

But if X-Com were a movie, I'd think it'd be Anal Invaders 12.

[Blade6119]

I want in...i havent been on one yet!!!!! Id idealy like base assault

[Blade6119]

achilles also wants in, but he is currently experiencing technical difficulties...like a a dropped monitor technical difficulties

[Godzilla Blitz]

Ring, ring, ring

Calling the following agents:

Neuqua, Illinfan V, Shorty II, and Blade III.

Your planet needs you.

(Post to confirm that you are on your way)

(Waiting list updated. If you are listed as AWOL, you can still report)

Thanks!

[Fonzie]

Originally posted by Kodos
DVH, if this were a Star Trek movie, you would be on board the Starship Excelsior.

That's gold right there.

Well played Kodos! Well played.

[illinifan999]

Answers the phone

X-COM-"Hello, we need you to report ASAP"

Me- "What? Who the hell is this? And why are you calling this early? I swear if your a telemarketer. Oh that's what you are, NO I DONT WANT MCI WORLDWIDE SERVICE!"

X-COM- "This is X-COM, and it is 3:00 in the afternoon. We need you to report ASAP"

Me- "I'm on my way"

Me walks away grumbling about MCI and how after me kills some aliens me is gonna kill MCI.............

[DeToxRox]

sorry about not using the call waiting guys, but i didn't want a $9.32 dollar phone call costing $15.32

[Coffee Warlord]

Deep inside the recesses of X-Com USA, the new Lord of House Coffee plots, pacing back and forth between his hyrdroponic coffee bean plants...

"Soon, my preciouses. Soon. We shall finish the work our father began. They will see. The aliens specimins I shall acquire on our base attack should be enough to grant you all sentience!

Once the alien scum who killed my father are gone, a new world will be ready, and the armies of Caffeinated Goodness will march, and bring order to the Earth! On the streets of every city shall march the shining beacon of the Coffee Bean, armed with the latest in X-Com technology!

Oh so very soon, my precious, precious coffee."

[RealDeal]

This version of RealDeal isn't as brave as his ancestors: I don't want to go on the dangerous base mission. This version of RealDeal has pretty good base stats, and I'm tired of being a 2 mission-and-die-guy. I want to be a live hero.

[Kodos]

Didn't one of your ancestors shoot me last time we did a base mission? I second RealDeal not going on this base raid. No offense intended, of course.

[DeToxRox]

Kodos, didn't I shoot you once too?

[Chief Rum]

Assuming I live through the mission in western Russia, Chief Rum II would definitely like to be a part of the next assault on an alien base.

I was one of the first to volunteer as a newbie to partake in the last one, and miraculously, I was one of the few to survive a very bloody mission. Now I am a sergeant, experienced, quick, a frontline soldier and itching for some alien blood. I would consider it an honor to go back in there and clean out some of this alien scum.

Sergeant Chief Rum II is ready when called!

CR

[Blade6119]

Originally posted by DeToxRoxDVHStyle
Kodos, didn't I shoot you once too?

oh god...thats a horribly funny queston!

[The Afoci]

I would love to go in and be a recon guy. Give me a can of peanut butter, some grape jelly and I will show those aliens what the true meaning of "toss my salad" means. Or I will probably get shot and die.

[Blade]

Blade III is sitting by the phone, reading the letter that came from his short-lived brother, written just before Blade II's death.

Hey Bro,

I am sitting on the skyranger, waiting to be deployed to fight these damn aliens. Dad would be so proud. And don't worry, I will avenge his death. That alien scum will not get away with it, not on our turf.

Don't worry litte brother, I will be home soon. It won't be long before we teach them a lesson and send them running from our planet. Oh, the doors are about to open, gotta go, brother. Save a victory cigar for me.

Blade II

A tear falls from Blade III's eye, when the phone rings.

"Hello? Yes, this is Blade III. Am I ready? Hell yes! I will be on the first flight out!"

Blade III hangs up the phone and grabs the bag sitting by the door. He walks out into the sunlight...and into his destiny...

[SplitPersonality1]

SplitP1 - We are in, if you still have slots for the base assaults.

[revrew]

GB -

You know good ol' Revrew and alien base missions. I'll happily hold down the fort in the U.S., thank you very much. Y'know, just in case there's an alien counterattack. Or the Cubs win the world series. Y'know, just in case.