So it's time for a vasectomy......

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

Dude, your balls must HATE you.

You know, they don't actually hurt at all. It's the area above where the cutting took place that's sore.

[Drake]

Glad to hear it went well for you.

[Drake]

dola...

The good news is that if you ever have to take a dog to get it fixed any time in the future, when it whimpers at you, you can legitimately tell him to man the fuck up.

[Jughead Spock]

shhhhh, they don't know yet

[path12]

MBBF, welcome to the club. You are now completely qualified to try and freak the hell out of anyone getting one in the future. Congrats!

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

We went into the procedure and my wife (a radiologist) went over and watched the whole thing. That would be way too much for me, but she saw me as a science project evidently.

Still sore today. But my 'area' is black and blue today. It's UGLY. Still isn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be.

[RainMaker]

Originally Posted by Subby

Valium?

You sir, are an enormous pussy.

You must not have had valium before. If you don't need it to relax, just take it for recreation.

[Drake]

Originally Posted by Mizzou B-ball fan

Still sore today. But my 'area' is black and blue today. It's UGLY. Still isn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be.

Just wait until the incision/stitches start scabbing over. That looks brutal.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Originally Posted by Drake

Just wait until the incision/stitches start scabbing over. That looks brutal.

Mine were no more than a quarter inch long. Could barely see them. I think that likely has something to do with the skills of my doctor.

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Mizzou B-ball fan

Mine is no more than a quarter inch long. Could barely see them.

That's what she said.

[Lathum]

Everytime I see that Dr. Sak had the last post in this thread I giggle.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Well, an unfortunate update. About four days after my vasectomy, I started having some pain and swelling in places other than the place you'd prefer to swell. Went to the doctor today after a few days of it not getting better. Turns out I have a blood collection about an inch by 1 1/2 inches behind one of my 'boys'. It will be absorbed by my body after a month. Until then, I have a month-long prescription for extra-strength Vicodin to manage the pain. I've never taken this stuff, but it's awfully powerful. No pain anymore, but I'm going to have to time taking it after my morning commute and when I get home from work to avoid any driving issues.

[Lathum]

That sound horrible. Sorry to hear.

[terpkristin]

Originally Posted by Mizzou B-ball fan

Until then, I have a month-long prescription for extra-strength Vicodin to manage the pain. I've never taken this stuff, but it's awfully powerful. No pain anymore, but I'm going to have to time taking it after my morning commute and when I get home from work to avoid any driving issues.

I don't know how strong the Vicodin is, but you'll want to be careful to wean off of it when that month is up. I ended up being on narcotics for pain after cracking a rib while on crutches recovering from one of my ankle surgeries, and spent about 6 weeks on the narcotics. As soon as I could walk again, I stopped taking the narcotics cold-turkey (like flipping a light switch) and then went through some MISERABLE withdrawal. Headaches, chills, feeling like I had the flu, pain EVERYWHERE.... just miserable.

/tk

[SackAttack]

Originally Posted by Mizzou B-ball fan

Well, an unfortunate update. About four days after my vasectomy, I started having some pain and swelling in places other than the place you'd prefer to swell. Went to the doctor today after a few days of it not getting better. Turns out I have a blood collection about an inch by 1 1/2 inches behind one of my 'boys'. It will be absorbed by my body after a month. Until then, I have a month-long prescription for extra-strength Vicodin to manage the pain. I've never taken this stuff, but it's awfully powerful. No pain anymore, but I'm going to have to time taking it after my morning commute and when I get home from work to avoid any driving issues.

Originally Posted by terpkristin

I don't know how strong the Vicodin is, but you'll want to be careful to wean off of it when that month is up. I ended up being on narcotics for pain after cracking a rib while on crutches recovering from one of my ankle surgeries, and spent about 6 weeks on the narcotics. As soon as I could walk again, I stopped taking the narcotics cold-turkey (like flipping a light switch) and then went through some MISERABLE withdrawal. Headaches, chills, feeling like I had the flu, pain EVERYWHERE.... just miserable.

/tk

What she said. The really powerful stuff is, well...really powerful, but along with that comes dependency issues if you aren't careful.

[johnnyshaka]

Sorry to hear you are having complications...not fun!

We're getting ready to put our house on the market in the next week or two and now that my wife is utterly useless (she had breast reduction surgery two weeks ago and is not to lift anything more than 10 pounds for at least 8 weeks) in the box moving department, plans my "big V" surgery have been put on hold.

The gruesome stories I've heard recently from a few buddies have nothing to do with the delay...I swear.

[Samdari]

Damn, this should be the time of limitless sex, instead its the time of incredible ball pain. That's as big a drop as you can get. Sorry, dude.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Originally Posted by SackAttack

What she said. The really powerful stuff is, well...really powerful, but along with that comes dependency issues if you aren't careful.

Yeah, I'm a regular viewer of Intervention, so I have a pretty good idea to be careful with the stuff. I've got a family full of doctors to keep me on the straight and narrow. I think I'll be taking it full bore for a couple weeks and then taking smaller doses after that just to slow my intake down. I'm not sure I've ever taken anything nearly this strong before. It helps with the pain, but it's somewhat frightening.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Update time.

I started weaning myself off Vicodin today. Going to take half doses for 7-10 days to slow down the system a bit before cutting off sometime next weekend.

***stop here if you're faint of heart (but you know you want to keep reading)***

I had something happen the other day that helped with my pain. The reduction in swelling along with a random movement I made caused something to 'pop'. Pretty sure part of my plumbing was hooked over something and it finally went back into place, greatly reducing the pain. I'm thanking my lucky stars right now that it happened, because it feel a LOT better.

Still have a large blood collection in there, but Doc says it will go away in a month or so.

[Swaggs]

I just threw up a little.

Glad things are feeling better, though.

[CraigSca]

Geez. Glad things are going better for you now, but I have to admit I'm glad I got my vasectomy a few years before I read this thread.

[Autumn]

Well, my time is coming. Going in for a physical today and to set up an appointment for the deed. Wish me luck.

[JediKooter]

Think of the children!

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Think of the children!

I am, oh I am. Why do you think I'm going?

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Autumn

I am, oh I am. Why do you think I'm going?

Haha!

[johnnyshaka]

Originally Posted by Autumn

Well, my time is coming. Going in for a physical today and to set up an appointment for the deed. Wish me luck.

Ditto...just got back from my physical and requested a referral for the snip snip. Also had to ask about testing for colon cancer as one of my aunts was just diagnosed a few months ago...looks like I'll be getting worked over down "there" quite a bit in the next little while.

[Autumn]

Oh man, I guess I can't really complain. Well, actually I'll still complain, but you can complain more.

[johnnyshaka]

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying to "one up" you or anything like that, but if my wife thinks I'm a baby now then she's in for a MAJOR surprise when all this business starts going down!!!

[Ksyrup]

So I'm considering a doctor visit and finally geting the procedure done. I'm only $250 away from my deductible (well there's another $2K deductible, but it only kicks in at 10% until the full $2K is met), and because we switched insurance and are trying to synch up our contract year with our deductible year (have both start on 4/01 instead of 4/01 and 1/01), I've got an extra 3 months in 2011 for my 2010 deductible to apply. So the procedure will be very cheap. If not painless.

Any further thoughts on this? Johnnyshaka, autumn - how did yours go?

[Autumn]

Thanks for bumping this, I've been meaning to post. I was supposed to have mine today, actually. But a couple days ago I realized I had some Advil this past weekend, which you're not supposed to have for like 7 days before the procedure. So they had to reschedule me. It was rather a relief I have to admit, only partly because of the procedure, but partly because I'm super busy and was worried about the recuperation time.

Ironically I took the Advil because I was with the kids for a two hour car ride and they gave me such a killer headache. So I'll definitely be continuing down this path.

[Autumn]

I should mention, the procedure as the urologist described it seemed pretty simple. But I"m a little wary because in his rather thorough "examination" I felt like Andre the Giant was handling me. The man's not exactly gentle. Bad sign?

[Ksyrup]

Ha!

Yeah, I don't like the time off thing. Never a good time. During the holidays I might be the only one in the office, so that's not a good time. I''ll have to see what works.

[Autumn]

Well, the deed is done. The after effects have been really minimal, though I've been careful about laying down most of the time with ice. The procedure itself hurt more than I expected - that lidocaine or whatever they use burns like a mfer going in. And he was like clamping my ball in place or something. Guy's a bruiser. But I've been quite comfortable after, so I can't complain. He showed me the vas deferens he took out afterwards. Much bigger than I expected, like a piece of spaghetti.

[Ksyrup]

Funny, I literally just got off the phone setting up an appointment for Friday afternoon to see a urologist.

[johnnyshaka]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Funny, I literally just got off the phone setting up an appointment for Friday afternoon to see a urologist.

I will be meeting my urologist on Monday. Ugh.

To get ready for that I thought I'd get a filling re-done this afternoon...you know, see if I can get accustomed to the "little pinch" feeling before the "big pinch" in a few weeks.

[Ksyrup]

So I'm all set for January 14th. That's a Friday, and the following Monday is MLK Day, so hopefully that gives me plenty of time to recover with minimal time out of office.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

So I'm all set for January 14th. That's a Friday, and the following Monday is MLK Day, so hopefully that gives me plenty of time to recover with minimal time out of office.

You might be a tad sore on Tuesday, but should be minimal.

[Ksyrup]

I think I'm more concerned with how to explain this to the kids than the actual procedure.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I think I'm more concerned with how to explain this to the kids than the actual procedure.

That was exactly my biggest thing, too. With my kids (7 and 4) there's no getting around them noticing what's going on. So we've had a lot of discussions of scrotums in the house (scrotii?).

I was half expecting to have to therefore explain the mechanics of reproduction to the 7 year old and trying to plan on how to do that without the four year old hearing it all - he's definitely in the "say something in the most embarrassing situation" phase. But although I went ahead and explained about sperm and the vas deferens to them both, and that sperm are necessary for making kids, no body asked the next question. It's about time to explain it to my older boy anyway, but it's easier to be able to do that with him alone, not in the waiting room at the clinic.

[Autumn]

My experience has been pretty good. It's been a week now and I'm still a bit uncomfortable, but never had any real pain. I've had to take it easy all week, if I stand too long I get sore, and I have to take breaks at times and lay down. I work at home so that's been easy luckily. If I Had to work out I think some advil would have done the trick though.

[johnnyshaka]

I'm booked for Feb. 11th...it's going to be a quiet Valentine's Day at my house...one filled with action flicks and the PS3!!!

[Ksyrup]

You should be right on target for March 14th, though...

[johnnyshaka]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

You should be right on target for March 14th, though...

I have the day circled on the calendar already!!

[Ksyrup]

So I go in on Friday morning.

Last chance to relate any horror stories that make me wanna cancel...

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

So I go in on Friday morning.

Last chance to relate any horror stories that make me wanna cancel...

I had complications and would still do it again. Shooting with blanks is a beautiful thing.

[johnnyshaka]

Actually, I wonder what the "cancellation" rate would be for a procedure like this?

[tyketime]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

So I go in on Friday morning.

Last chance to relate any horror stories that make me wanna cancel...

Make sure you mark it correctly. You wouldn't want them to snip off the wrong part.

[Ksyrup]

Right on cue, one of our paralegals sent me this article:

Trial in penis amputation case is postponed

^-New date to be set at hearing Wednesday
By Lisa King

Monday, January 10, 2011 at 11:32 am (Updated: January 12, 8:16 am)


A jury trial involving the case of a Shelby County man who says his penis was amputated without his consent has been postponed.

Circuit Judge Charles Hickman said that the trial would be rescheduled because of concern that an article in Friday’s Sentinel-News would influence the jury pool.

“The article’s detailed events of the case would have made it difficult to seat a jury,” he said.

Waddy resident Phillip Seaton filed suit in 2008 against surgeon John Patterson, saying the doctor had amputated his penis during a routine circumcision a year earlier.

He also sued Jewish Hospital Shelbyville, where the surgery was performed, and the anesthesiologist, Dr. Oliver James, but JHS and James have settled with Seaton.

Jury selection was to have begun Monday, but a story about the settlements and reviewing details of the trial caused Hickman to delay its start.

Neither attorney returned repeated phone calls from The Sentinel-News, but Hickman said the matter has been put on the docket for next Wednesday so that a new date can be set.

Hickman said next week was chosen because a new jury pool will be in place, which happens every six months.

“We seat a new jury every six months; we do it in January and July,” he said.

Hickman said he did not know when the new trial date would be, and that it could be set for weeks or even months from now.

“I can not speculate on that,” he said. “We will make that determination next Wednesday.”

Seaton and his wife, Deborah, declined to comment.

The story is - dude went in for a circumcision and the Dr. found cancer, so instead of finishing the procedure and telling the guy what he found and discussing his options, he just went ahead and amputated. When the guy woke up from his circumcision, he had no penis.

I wish I could have gotten that case (the legal case, not the medical one!).

[Ksyrup]

So, it's all over. Interesting, strange experience. So far, just a slight bit of discomfort on the left side, like someone missed to the left on a kick to the nuts. Haven't even had to use my pain meds yet. Had two or three fairly hot nurses helping out. That was a bit much. I guess to break the ice, doc asked if I'd ever had my scrotum shaved while two women looked on. I told him not since my last trip to Amsterdam.

Only real pain during the procedure was for the local - and that wasn't really that bad as much as it hurt thinking about where it was being done - and during the cauderizing. He accidentally hit me a bit too much the first time he fired it up and it gave my entire body a jolt.

So I guess I get to sit around all weekend watching or playing football. Hopefully the pain stays away.

[johnnyshaka]

It's go time...ugh.