Another relationship thread - Page 3

timmynausea · 07-04-2005, 09:33 PM

Right now you are still really in the denial stage. After she officially breaks up with you, there are two paths you can possibly take: 1. You let her go but continue to obsess about her. 2. The "If I can't have her, noone can" path.

Perhaps it makes me sick, but I'm rooting for the second.

Johnny93g · 07-04-2005, 09:35 PM

i think you guys have me all wrong......I know its likely over, but stranger things have happend....I have a chance to "win " her back......do i believe i can yes, do i believe i will, no....but i am getting the chance to do it.....if it ends, i feel better about it now that i have the chance

Suicane75 · 07-04-2005, 09:52 PM

Solecismic · 07-04-2005, 09:58 PM

Johnny, relationships work both ways. Wouldn't it be nice not to have to worry about "winning" her after being in a relationship for five months? Wouldn't it be nice to just be yourself instead of playing this bizarre game?

She's doing you no favors with this second chance, not that this is how dating works. It's just prolonging the torture.

2 1/2 hours of breakup discussion? Ugh. I'm sure she'd rather have teeth drilled without novocaine.

Swaggs · 07-04-2005, 09:59 PM

Scary.

Suicane75 · 07-04-2005, 10:02 PM

Really man, you know that she spent the last 140 minutes trying to figure out a way to get out of the same room as you, you know this. Just call off the "date" and save yourself some heartbreak. You're doing enough doubletalk to fill up a political thread. You know, deep down inside, whats going on here.

Desnudo · 07-04-2005, 10:04 PM

Seriously man, stick your head in a bucket of ice water. You need to wake up to the reality of the situation. What do you think she's going to see on Friday that she hasn't seen in five months?

Izulde · 07-04-2005, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Seriously man, stick your head in a bucket of ice water. You need to wake up to the reality of the situation. What do you think she's going to see on Friday that she hasn't seen in five months?

Depends on how fast the enlargement pills he's been taking work.

CraigSca · 07-04-2005, 10:17 PM

I agree with Solecismic. Who the hell wants a relationship where you're walking on pins and needles all the time?

It really, really stinks that I have to say this...but : SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU.

How do I know? I've been in the exact position you're in - you need someone to slap you across the face because years from now you're going to realize what's going on and be embarassed.

Clark · 07-04-2005, 10:29 PM

Johnny- What are the chances of a guy like me and a girl like you ending up together?
Girl- Not good.
Johnny- Not good like one in a hundred?
Girl- I'd say more like one in a million.
Johnny- So you're telling me there's a chance?

Glengoyne · 07-04-2005, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clark

Johnny- What are the chances of a guy like me and a girl like you ending up together?
Girl- Not good.
Johnny- Not good like one in a hundred?
Girl- I'd say more like one in a million.
Johnny- So you're telling me there's a chance?

Best fourteenth post ever!

PilotMan · 07-04-2005, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CraigSca

I agree with Solecismic. Who the hell wants a relationship where you're walking on pins and needles all the time?

It really, really stinks that I have to say this...but : SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU.

How do I know? I've been in the exact position you're in - you need someone to slap you across the face because years from now you're going to realize what's going on and be embarassed.

YES!YES!YES!

Eaglesfan27 · 07-04-2005, 11:52 PM

I've been in this situation too. I was only 19, but I made the same mistake that you are on the verge of making. I kept trying to resuscitate a 1 year relationship. It dragged out another 2 months because of my efforts and only led to even more heartbreak. I was bitter, angry, hostile, and sunk into a period of depression. It took about 6 months but I got over it, and about 2 years later I met my future wife.

I agree with the other guys in this thread. This is not going to end well if you continue to pursue this. You are only delaying the inevitable, and possibly making it worse. Good luck.

Peregrine · 07-05-2005, 12:04 AM

Quote:

Why? Because he's a Leaf fan. And that means he's uniquely accustomed to soul-crushing despair. Most people would consider having their heart ripped out, mushed into a tiny ball and fed back to them a life-altering experience. Leaf fans call it "Tuesday".

Classic.

Ragone · 07-05-2005, 01:04 AM

Someone who really loves you for who you are and cares about you and is mature wouldn't make you "Win" her over

korme · 07-05-2005, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clark

Johnny- What are the chances of a guy like me and a girl like you ending up together?
Girl- Not good.
Johnny- Not good like one in a hundred?
Girl- I'd say more like one in a million.
Johnny- So you're telling me there's a chance?

um.. you mean Lloyd

Raven · 07-05-2005, 02:16 AM

I feel for you, man. You think you've found the girl of your dreams, only to find out you're not the man of hers. The problem is she doesn't know how to say it to you bluntly.

As brutal as some of these other guys are being here, they are closer to the truth than you can admit. If you are going to rough this one out, at least force yourself to be able to end things if they aren't going the way you think you deserve. Otherwise she'll be dangling you from a string, ready to cut you loose whenever she is ready.

If she starts slowly seperating herself from you a little more each day, then you know it's time to end it yourself. Little things like not returning your calls, or cancelling plans, making excuses that just don't seem 'right'....then you know it's coming.

Good luck.

timmynausea · 07-05-2005, 02:23 AM

The thing I think you're not fully taking into consideration is that at this point she is giving you another chance and etc. because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings anymore than she already has to. It sucks, but it's most likely true.

Izulde · 07-05-2005, 02:58 AM

Yeah, it's not giving you a chance to save the relationship. As we've all pointed out, that horse is dead and so beaten, it could be in The Godfather movie.

Really the chance you're getting here is to be able to save whatever amount of dignity you still have left by realizing that it isn't going to work out and letting her go.

JeffR · 07-05-2005, 03:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Really the chance you're getting here is to be able to save whatever amount of dignity you still have left by realizing that it isn't going to work out and letting her go

...but not before seeing what kind of depraved things you can guilt her into doing during the breakup sex.

korme · 07-05-2005, 03:30 AM

Yep. Nut in her nostrils when you get to your final showdown.

Neon_Chaos · 07-05-2005, 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny93g

well, we talked for about 2 and a half hours....and i was brutally honest with her....about how i felt, and about what she wanted to do...which was indeed to end the relationship.....I got her to tell me what her problems were, and what she wanted in "her" guy, and alot of it were things i had no idea about.....which brought us to what i think was the biggest problem...communication...we never talked about this stuff...relationship stuff, and neither really knew what the other wanted, or needed......

The stuff she wanted is not a big deal to me.....infact, some of it is me, which i havent really shown yet.......we stand right now on shakey ground, but are not broken up......I asked her for a chance to make it work with all this new found information, and she finally agreed to it......she maybe just saying yes to get out of here, but i dont think she would do that........We are taking it a week at a time.......I asked her out for Friday, and she said yes......while she doesnt think her feelings will change, she will give me a chance to fight for her, which is pretty much all i can ask for.......Chances are this delays the inevitable.......we are pretty much through, but I needed this chance to work things out sense its the 1st time a big problem has come up......I will be able to handle the potential breakup much better now that i know its possible, then today where it pretty much came from nowhere.......will it be easy, no, as im still crazy about her.........but as long as there's a chance, Ill sleep much better at night....thanks to all who gave advice, i took it all to heart, and hopefully, it will work out......

As most of these guys said, and as you might be thinking right now... it is over.

She's only agreed to go out with you not to hurt your feelings. I for one, don't think that it'll go through.

If you do go through with the date, take the initiative. Tell her that you've thought things over, and that she was right. Break up with her. It sucks donkey balls, and it'll hurt like shit... but hell, it just wasn't meant to be.

And when you do break up... just let it out for one day. Cry if you must... weep, or whatever it is that you do. Then, forget about it... go out, have fun... have the time of your life. Don't wallow in muck.

Bottom line: Don't be a girly man. Suck it in and life goes on, buddy.

hhiipp · 07-05-2005, 08:42 AM

Cowboy up.

CamEdwards · 07-05-2005, 09:42 AM

yep, this is me at age 19. And it took me a heckuva lot longer than six months to get over it.

And yes, I think back to that time period with a great deal of embarrassment and regret.

CraigSca · 07-05-2005, 09:45 AM

Johnny - Another thing you may want to ask youself...as you admit, some of the things she's looking for you said you haven't shown her yet. If it's been 5 months, and you've yet to show these other sides of you - why is that?

Are you afraid she might not like it? What kind of relationship do you have if, after 5 months, you haven't shown her the real you? What kind of confidence do you have if you don't feel that you can be yourself? When you get older, you'll understand that true relationships only occur when no one is putting on a show for the other.

Johnny93g · 07-05-2005, 09:53 AM

I agree that the chances are its over....but some of the things we talked about last night made alot of sense to both of us.....and its not just one date we are going on......we are taking it week by week......we talked about this specific point, that 1 date wont fix anything, she wants to give me a chance to see if what we talked about helps....and however long that takes, (which i dont know yet), it takes......will it work, probably not, but im not gonna just give up.....and i think that because of this, we will still be friends after it ends( if it does).....I know some of you have been here before, and are expecting the worse.....well, this may be worth it in the end......she doesnt hate me, it wasnt torcher yesterday.......it was truthful, and thats what we needed

Flasch186 · 07-05-2005, 10:33 AM

that brawt a smyle to my fAs

JW · 07-05-2005, 10:33 AM

I agree with those who have told you it is over, whether it ends right now or lingers on a while.

As difficult as it is, perhaps you can see this as a learning experience, a way to learn more about yourself. You should consider what she had to say and try to learn from that and the entire relationship.

What exactly did she tell you that she wants you to change? Since you've put yourself out there already in this thread, you may as well give the guys some more details. That would likely lead to some more good advice -- along with all the crude jabs.

The hardest thing for a guy to do is to take a look inside himself. You have a good opportunity right now.

I wish you the best.

hhiipp · 07-05-2005, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JW

The hardest thing for a guy to do is to take a look inside himself.

The goatse guy took a good look inside himself and also shared what he found with millions of people on the internet. Take a piece of advice from the goatse guy, don't make an ass of yourself.

DanGarion · 07-05-2005, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noop

Repeat after me... Nut Check. Because that is some very gay stuff... let me guess you grew up with alot of women in your house?

Dude, shut up.

Glengoyne · 07-05-2005, 11:48 AM

Give it up Johnny. It isn't that we all don't understand. It is just that based on our experiences, we've all hung on the edge over a girl before. Given all of our experiences and all of our regrets for actions we made when we were in your shoes, we are resoundingly advising you to let her go.

I know when a friend of mine came to me to discuss leaving his wife. I asked him if he was certain he was leaving her. He said he was. I told him to end it period, let there be no doubt in her mind. In other words don't leave her hanging. Someone needs to tell your girl the same thing. She isn't doing you any favors by letting you curry favor for the next few months.

Johnny93g · 07-05-2005, 11:48 AM

the things she wants are very reasonable....and they arent too foreign to me.....infact, it would not require me changing who i am to get there......its not like she wants superman......for instance, she wants more of a family oriented person, and doesnt feel like im that guy......she has seen me intereact with my family, and theres alot of button pushing and getting pissed off.....but the thing is thats not the total picture....i get along better with my family then alot of people i know......and i do want to settle down and have a family......and i want her to see that side of me.....i dont want to get into everything she said, or i said, but all of it is reasoinable, and doable......which gives me hope......ofcourse today, ive been on the phone with friends looking for all the support i can get, as i do think I'm delaying the inevitable......right now, i dont feel very good about it.

NoMyths · 07-05-2005, 11:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Johnny93g

the things she wants are very reasonable....and they arent too foreign to me.....infact, it would not require me changing who i am to get there......its not like she wants superman......for instance, she wants more of a family oriented person, and doesnt feel like im that guy......she has seen me intereact with my family, and theres alot of button pushing and getting pissed off.....but the thing is thats not the total picture....i get along better with my family then alot of people i know......and i do want to settle down and have a family......and i want her to see that side of me.....i dont want to get into everything she said, or i said, but all of it is reasoinable, and doable......which gives me hope......ofcourse today, ive been on the phone with friends looking for all the support i can get, as i do think I'm delaying the inevitable......right now, i dont feel very good about it.

Then don't delay the inevitable. You want to feel like you've got control again? Call her up and say "Look, I've been thinking about all of this, and realized that any girl lucky enough to be with me wouldn't be making asinine demands...they'd be going to sleep every night thankful that I'm in their life. Since your demands have made it clear that you're not that girl for me, I'm looking elsewhere. I suggest you do the same."

DanGarion · 07-05-2005, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peregrine

Classic.

Didn't that quote used to have Red Sox in it instead?

Desnudo · 07-05-2005, 12:04 PM

Johnny, it's clear to me what's going to happen in the end, but it's also clear to me that you have to experience these things first hand at least once. Everyone likes to believe that they are different and special and unique, and that is true to some extent. But relationships also have commonalities, which is why everyone here, except for Noop, knows what you are going through. However, I understand why you feel the way you do. Good luck.

JeeberD · 07-05-2005, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flasch186

that brawt a smyle to my fAs

???

wade moore · 07-05-2005, 12:06 PM

The sad thing is, i'm seeing a past-tense me posting here..

Odd thing is... I went through this experience on July 4th 8 years ago...

PilotMan · 07-05-2005, 12:06 PM

Johnny you are who you are, and at the age of 25 you have developed most of the habits and ideas about who you are and what you do. I lost a relationship with a girl at the age of 23 and we had the same things. There were things about who I was that were not working. I felt that I could change and that they were not deal breakers. There was way more to the situation then she was willing to tell me, but she still loved me, but knew it was time to move on. And you will not change that easy. It is easy to say and do short term, but when you force your actions eventually you return to the place you began, because that is who you really are. I know. Look you had her in a room for 2+ hours because you wanted validation why things weren't working out. The fact that she gave you some solid things had more to do with letting you down slow, rather than just leaving. It is true that you had a relationship and that she cared about you a great deal. We have all heard the same words over and over. You should walk away, not look back, not be friends, and get a dog. My dog was the best thing about my breakup. My dog allowed me to turn my focus to other things. I changed profoundly as a person during that time in between relationships, and I became much stronger, more mature and ready to deal with the bigger problems that I would eventually face in life. This will be a time of change for you, how you deal with it will decide who you become for the rest of your life. I advise you to think long and hard. There are multitudes of girls and relationships out there, this is not the only one. For me, in the end, a one night stand turned into my soulmate, my wife and the mother of my 3 kids. There is so much more out there, find it and grow. Let it change you.

rkmsuf · 07-05-2005, 12:07 PM

Would it be wrong to suggest doing it in the butt?

Desnudo · 07-05-2005, 12:10 PM

That would show open mindedness. But you run the risk of making her think you are gay.

rkmsuf · 07-05-2005, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

That would show open mindedness. But you run the risk of making her think you are gay.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Maybe they also need to introduce food into their lovemaking.

mrsimperless · 07-05-2005, 12:42 PM

I feel for you Johnny. I went through a similar situation last year that I brought upon myself. There was a girl that I dated for about a year or so and I was torn on the point of whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So we were back and forth a lot in the relationship, which was mostly my fault. Well, once I finally realized what I wanted and made my decision it was too late. She was in the beginning stages of seeing someone else and didn't want anything to do with me. I tried everything I could think of make her change her mind, but she wasn't budging in the least. It was a very difficult time for me, and I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I knew it was all my own fault. She was completely in love with me and I blew it. When I look back on that time I'm so embarrassed about the way that I acted, both towards her and just in general. I went through a period of depression where I hardly ate and didn't want to do much of anything at all. It sounds cliche, but it really is true that time is the only thing that can heal things like that.

A silver lining to my story is that we met up again 4 or 5 months later at a bar. I was with another girl and she had been screwed over by the guy she rejected me for. It really was a scene from one of my vengeful daydreams. I wasn't mean to her or anything, but she had to leave she was so upset by seeing me. Looking back it was really an awful situation all around, but it sure felt good at the time.

Blackadar · 07-05-2005, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

Would it be wrong to suggest doing it in the butt?

I'm really disappointed in you. Why the hell did it take until page 3 to post this? This is page 1 material!

As for Johnny...please...learn...not...to...post...like...this.............. it...is...very...annoying...It's like watching a frickin' teletype.

I've got a gun, a shovel, a garbage bag and 30 acres. You're going out with me tonight or else!

rkmsuf · 07-05-2005, 01:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackadar

I'm really disappointed in you. Why the hell did it take until page 3 to post this? This is page 1 material!

As for Johnny...please...learn...not...to...post...like...this.............. it...is...very...annoying...It's like watching a frickin' teletype.

I've got a gun, a shovel, a garbage bag and 30 acres. You're going out with me tonight or else!

I was shocked Franklin wasn't all over this. It really is the best advice here.

Desnudo · 07-05-2005, 01:04 PM

I kind of enjoy the stream of consciousness approach. It really communicates how over the relationship really is.

Blackadar · 07-05-2005, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

I was shocked Franklin wasn't all over this. It really is the best advice here.

Agreed. Drunk...butt...then an Animal House road trip with some buddies. Can't ask for more.

Johnny93g · 07-05-2005, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsimperless

I feel for you Johnny. I went through a similar situation last year that I brought upon myself. There was a girl that I dated for about a year or so and I was torn on the point of whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So we were back and forth a lot in the relationship, which was mostly my fault. Well, once I finally realized what I wanted and made my decision it was too late. She was in the beginning stages of seeing someone else and didn't want anything to do with me. I tried everything I could think of make her change her mind, but she wasn't budging in the least. It was a very difficult time for me, and I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I knew it was all my own fault. She was completely in love with me and I blew it. When I look back on that time I'm so embarrassed about the way that I acted, both towards her and just in general. I went through a period of depression where I hardly ate and didn't want to do much of anything at all. It sounds cliche, but it really is true that time is the only thing that can heal things like that.

A silver lining to my story is that we met up again 4 or 5 months later at a bar. I was with another girl and she had been screwed over by the guy she rejected me for. It really was a scene from one of my vengeful daydreams. I wasn't mean to her or anything, but she had to leave she was so upset by seeing me. Looking back it was really an awful situation all around, but it sure felt good at the time.

some of this has already started, and i expected it too....the not eating, almost no appetite.....and with her as well.....told me she had 1 meal yesterday, just wasnt hungry all day.......i just realized i sent her some flowers on sunday that were suppose to arrive today......i called her to leave a message saying the flowers arent intended to get her back, that infact were ordered before i knew what was going on.....anyway, i guess the countdown for some of you is on tell friday....what will happen, will there really be a date, and another one after that....i can say with confidence yes there will be, but thats all i got now......

rkmsuf · 07-05-2005, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blackadar

Agreed. Drunk...butt...then an Animal House road trip with some buddies. Can't ask for more.

Be good as new in 12 hours. This shouldn't take 3 pages people.

Johnny93g · 07-05-2005, 01:37 PM

oddly enough, the people ive talked to the last 2 days here, all think i should try and save it....they can see how much she means to me, and know im gonna do my best.....I dont know if they think i can make it work, but i think they see i need to try for myself atleast...just tought id point that out...bash away

rkmsuf · 07-05-2005, 01:39 PM

Bash? You wrote the thread, bogambo.

07-04-2005, 09:35 PM	#102
Johnny93g College Starter Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Toronto	i think you guys have me all wrong......I know its likely over, but stranger things have happend....I have a chance to "win " her back......do i believe i can yes, do i believe i will, no....but i am getting the chance to do it.....if it ends, i feel better about it now that i have the chance __________________ FOOL- Toronto Marlboros FOOL Classic Champions 2073, 2078, 2079, 2114, 2116, 2117, 2129, 2152, 2155, 2169, 2192 46 35 FOOL H- New York Giants World Champions 1914, 1928 BBCF: Notre Dame TML

07-04-2005, 09:59 PM	#105
Swaggs Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000	Scary. __________________ DOWN WITH HATTRICK!!! The RWBL Are you reading In The Bleachers?

07-04-2005, 10:17 PM	#109
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	I agree with Solecismic. Who the hell wants a relationship where you're walking on pins and needles all the time? It really, really stinks that I have to say this...but : SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU. How do I know? I've been in the exact position you're in - you need someone to slap you across the face because years from now you're going to realize what's going on and be embarassed. __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

07-04-2005, 11:52 PM	#113
Eaglesfan27 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey	I've been in this situation too. I was only 19, but I made the same mistake that you are on the verge of making. I kept trying to resuscitate a 1 year relationship. It dragged out another 2 months because of my efforts and only led to even more heartbreak. I was bitter, angry, hostile, and sunk into a period of depression. It took about 6 months but I got over it, and about 2 years later I met my future wife. I agree with the other guys in this thread. This is not going to end well if you continue to pursue this. You are only delaying the inevitable, and possibly making it worse. Good luck. __________________ Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.) GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers. GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen.

07-05-2005, 02:16 AM	#117
Raven College Prospect Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Baltimore, MD	I feel for you, man. You think you've found the girl of your dreams, only to find out you're not the man of hers. The problem is she doesn't know how to say it to you bluntly. As brutal as some of these other guys are being here, they are closer to the truth than you can admit. If you are going to rough this one out, at least force yourself to be able to end things if they aren't going the way you think you deserve. Otherwise she'll be dangling you from a string, ready to cut you loose whenever she is ready. If she starts slowly seperating herself from you a little more each day, then you know it's time to end it yourself. Little things like not returning your calls, or cancelling plans, making excuses that just don't seem 'right'....then you know it's coming. Good luck. Last edited by Raven : 07-05-2005 at 02:18 AM.

07-04-2005, 09:33 PM	#101
timmynausea College Starter Join Date: Dec 2002	Right now you are still really in the denial stage. After she officially breaks up with you, there are two paths you can possibly take: 1. You let her go but continue to obsess about her. 2. The "If I can't have her, noone can" path. Perhaps it makes me sick, but I'm rooting for the second.

07-04-2005, 09:52 PM	#103
Suicane75 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: NJ	Dude

07-04-2005, 09:58 PM	#104
Solecismic Solecismic Software Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Canton, OH	Johnny, relationships work both ways. Wouldn't it be nice not to have to worry about "winning" her after being in a relationship for five months? Wouldn't it be nice to just be yourself instead of playing this bizarre game? She's doing you no favors with this second chance, not that this is how dating works. It's just prolonging the torture. 2 1/2 hours of breakup discussion? Ugh. I'm sure she'd rather have teeth drilled without novocaine.

07-04-2005, 10:02 PM	#106
Suicane75 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: NJ	Really man, you know that she spent the last 140 minutes trying to figure out a way to get out of the same room as you, you know this. Just call off the "date" and save yourself some heartbreak. You're doing enough doubletalk to fill up a political thread. You know, deep down inside, whats going on here.

07-04-2005, 10:04 PM	#107
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	Seriously man, stick your head in a bucket of ice water. You need to wake up to the reality of the situation. What do you think she's going to see on Friday that she hasn't seen in five months?

07-04-2005, 10:29 PM	#110
Clark n00b Join Date: Oct 2003	Johnny- What are the chances of a guy like me and a girl like you ending up together? Girl- Not good. Johnny- Not good like one in a hundred? Girl- I'd say more like one in a million. Johnny- So you're telling me there's a chance?

07-05-2005, 01:04 AM	#115
Ragone Pro Rookie Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kansas City, Mo	Someone who really loves you for who you are and cares about you and is mature wouldn't make you "Win" her over

07-05-2005, 02:23 AM	#118
timmynausea College Starter Join Date: Dec 2002	The thing I think you're not fully taking into consideration is that at this point she is giving you another chance and etc. because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings anymore than she already has to. It sucks, but it's most likely true.

07-05-2005, 02:58 AM	#119
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Yeah, it's not giving you a chance to save the relationship. As we've all pointed out, that horse is dead and so beaten, it could be in The Godfather movie. Really the chance you're getting here is to be able to save whatever amount of dignity you still have left by realizing that it isn't going to work out and letting her go. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

07-05-2005, 03:30 AM	#121
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	Yep. Nut in her nostrils when you get to your final showdown.

07-05-2005, 08:42 AM	#123
hhiipp College Prospect Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: OH	Cowboy up.

07-05-2005, 09:42 AM	#124
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	yep, this is me at age 19. And it took me a heckuva lot longer than six months to get over it. And yes, I think back to that time period with a great deal of embarrassment and regret. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

07-05-2005, 09:45 AM	#125
CraigSca Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Not Delaware - hurray!	Johnny - Another thing you may want to ask youself...as you admit, some of the things she's looking for you said you haven't shown her yet. If it's been 5 months, and you've yet to show these other sides of you - why is that? Are you afraid she might not like it? What kind of relationship do you have if, after 5 months, you haven't shown her the real you? What kind of confidence do you have if you don't feel that you can be yourself? When you get older, you'll understand that true relationships only occur when no one is putting on a show for the other. __________________ She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! She loves you, yeah! how do you know? how do you know?

07-05-2005, 09:53 AM	#126
Johnny93g College Starter Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Toronto	I agree that the chances are its over....but some of the things we talked about last night made alot of sense to both of us.....and its not just one date we are going on......we are taking it week by week......we talked about this specific point, that 1 date wont fix anything, she wants to give me a chance to see if what we talked about helps....and however long that takes, (which i dont know yet), it takes......will it work, probably not, but im not gonna just give up.....and i think that because of this, we will still be friends after it ends( if it does).....I know some of you have been here before, and are expecting the worse.....well, this may be worth it in the end......she doesnt hate me, it wasnt torcher yesterday.......it was truthful, and thats what we needed __________________ FOOL- Toronto Marlboros FOOL Classic Champions 2073, 2078, 2079, 2114, 2116, 2117, 2129, 2152, 2155, 2169, 2192 46 35 FOOL H- New York Giants World Champions 1914, 1928 BBCF: Notre Dame TML

07-05-2005, 10:33 AM	#127
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	that brawt a smyle to my fAs __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

07-05-2005, 10:33 AM	#128
JW College Prospect Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Monroe, LA, USA	I agree with those who have told you it is over, whether it ends right now or lingers on a while. As difficult as it is, perhaps you can see this as a learning experience, a way to learn more about yourself. You should consider what she had to say and try to learn from that and the entire relationship. What exactly did she tell you that she wants you to change? Since you've put yourself out there already in this thread, you may as well give the guys some more details. That would likely lead to some more good advice -- along with all the crude jabs. The hardest thing for a guy to do is to take a look inside himself. You have a good opportunity right now. I wish you the best.

07-05-2005, 11:48 AM	#131
Glengoyne Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Fresno, CA	Give it up Johnny. It isn't that we all don't understand. It is just that based on our experiences, we've all hung on the edge over a girl before. Given all of our experiences and all of our regrets for actions we made when we were in your shoes, we are resoundingly advising you to let her go. I know when a friend of mine came to me to discuss leaving his wife. I asked him if he was certain he was leaving her. He said he was. I told him to end it period, let there be no doubt in her mind. In other words don't leave her hanging. Someone needs to tell your girl the same thing. She isn't doing you any favors by letting you curry favor for the next few months.

07-05-2005, 11:48 AM	#132
Johnny93g College Starter Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Toronto	the things she wants are very reasonable....and they arent too foreign to me.....infact, it would not require me changing who i am to get there......its not like she wants superman......for instance, she wants more of a family oriented person, and doesnt feel like im that guy......she has seen me intereact with my family, and theres alot of button pushing and getting pissed off.....but the thing is thats not the total picture....i get along better with my family then alot of people i know......and i do want to settle down and have a family......and i want her to see that side of me.....i dont want to get into everything she said, or i said, but all of it is reasoinable, and doable......which gives me hope......ofcourse today, ive been on the phone with friends looking for all the support i can get, as i do think I'm delaying the inevitable......right now, i dont feel very good about it. __________________ FOOL- Toronto Marlboros FOOL Classic Champions 2073, 2078, 2079, 2114, 2116, 2117, 2129, 2152, 2155, 2169, 2192 46 35 FOOL H- New York Giants World Champions 1914, 1928 BBCF: Notre Dame TML

07-05-2005, 12:04 PM	#135
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	Johnny, it's clear to me what's going to happen in the end, but it's also clear to me that you have to experience these things first hand at least once. Everyone likes to believe that they are different and special and unique, and that is true to some extent. But relationships also have commonalities, which is why everyone here, except for Noop, knows what you are going through. However, I understand why you feel the way you do. Good luck.

07-05-2005, 12:06 PM	#138
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	Johnny you are who you are, and at the age of 25 you have developed most of the habits and ideas about who you are and what you do. I lost a relationship with a girl at the age of 23 and we had the same things. There were things about who I was that were not working. I felt that I could change and that they were not deal breakers. There was way more to the situation then she was willing to tell me, but she still loved me, but knew it was time to move on. And you will not change that easy. It is easy to say and do short term, but when you force your actions eventually you return to the place you began, because that is who you really are. I know. Look you had her in a room for 2+ hours because you wanted validation why things weren't working out. The fact that she gave you some solid things had more to do with letting you down slow, rather than just leaving. It is true that you had a relationship and that she cared about you a great deal. We have all heard the same words over and over. You should walk away, not look back, not be friends, and get a dog. My dog was the best thing about my breakup. My dog allowed me to turn my focus to other things. I changed profoundly as a person during that time in between relationships, and I became much stronger, more mature and ready to deal with the bigger problems that I would eventually face in life. This will be a time of change for you, how you deal with it will decide who you become for the rest of your life. I advise you to think long and hard. There are multitudes of girls and relationships out there, this is not the only one. For me, in the end, a one night stand turned into my soulmate, my wife and the mother of my 3 kids. There is so much more out there, find it and grow. Let it change you. __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam

07-05-2005, 12:07 PM	#139
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	Would it be wrong to suggest doing it in the butt? __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

07-05-2005, 12:10 PM	#140
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	That would show open mindedness. But you run the risk of making her think you are gay.

07-05-2005, 12:42 PM	#142
mrsimperless College Prospect Join Date: Apr 2003	I feel for you Johnny. I went through a similar situation last year that I brought upon myself. There was a girl that I dated for about a year or so and I was torn on the point of whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. So we were back and forth a lot in the relationship, which was mostly my fault. Well, once I finally realized what I wanted and made my decision it was too late. She was in the beginning stages of seeing someone else and didn't want anything to do with me. I tried everything I could think of make her change her mind, but she wasn't budging in the least. It was a very difficult time for me, and I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I knew it was all my own fault. She was completely in love with me and I blew it. When I look back on that time I'm so embarrassed about the way that I acted, both towards her and just in general. I went through a period of depression where I hardly ate and didn't want to do much of anything at all. It sounds cliche, but it really is true that time is the only thing that can heal things like that. A silver lining to my story is that we met up again 4 or 5 months later at a bar. I was with another girl and she had been screwed over by the guy she rejected me for. It really was a scene from one of my vengeful daydreams. I wasn't mean to her or anything, but she had to leave she was so upset by seeing me. Looking back it was really an awful situation all around, but it sure felt good at the time. __________________ "All I know is that smart women are hot. Susan Polgar beat me in 24 moves in a simultaneous exhbition. I slept with the scoresheet under my pillow." Off some dude's web site. Last edited by mrsimperless : 07-05-2005 at 12:43 PM.

07-05-2005, 01:04 PM	#145
Desnudo Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Here and There	I kind of enjoy the stream of consciousness approach. It really communicates how over the relationship really is.

07-05-2005, 01:37 PM	#149
Johnny93g College Starter Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Toronto	oddly enough, the people ive talked to the last 2 days here, all think i should try and save it....they can see how much she means to me, and know im gonna do my best.....I dont know if they think i can make it work, but i think they see i need to try for myself atleast...just tought id point that out...bash away __________________ FOOL- Toronto Marlboros FOOL Classic Champions 2073, 2078, 2079, 2114, 2116, 2117, 2129, 2152, 2155, 2169, 2192 46 35 FOOL H- New York Giants World Champions 1914, 1928 BBCF: Notre Dame TML

07-05-2005, 01:39 PM	#150
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	Bash? You wrote the thread, bogambo. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

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