Online dating - Page 23

DaddyTorgo · 08-13-2013, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

Think about what?

How I'm feeling about things.

DaddyTorgo · 08-13-2013, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

That doesn't really encourage her to respond to you, IMO. But the good news is that it kinda comes off as a promise that you will be in touch.

I would wait a day (assuming you want to), then call her up and ask her out for sometime this weekend.

Well yeah - there was some conversational banter before that...that was more the closing to it.

And she texted me back, so the ball's in my court.

Galaxy · 08-13-2013, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Speaking of the last date I had, funny thing happened. I feel like I shared this somewhere on FOFC already, but just in case I haven't...

I went to El Torito with my date, and she recently moved to LA from France (Latvian by birth, raised in France, moved to LA last year). So we get our chips and salsa, and then she decides she wants the tableside guac for an app.

So the waitress makes the guac and brings a second bowl for me (date was abit iffy about sharing the same guac) and then leaves.

My date looks after her in consternation and wonders why she didn't bring us silverware. While we certainly do need the silverware at some point, I pointed out that we have the chips for the guac. To which she said, she does not want any more chips.

So I call over the waitress and ask for silverware, which she brings.

And then I watch as my date unrolls her silverware and proceeds to eat her tableside quac straight out of the bowl with a knife and fork!

So what do I do?

The gentlemanly thing, of course--I did the same thing.

Is it weird that I'm guilty of eating things straight out of the bowl/dish that are suppose to be eaten with chips? Maybe it's because I'm not the biggest chip fan...

Matthean · 08-13-2013, 02:42 PM

Chief Rum · 08-13-2013, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Is it weird that I'm guilty of eating things straight out of the bowl/dish that are suppose to be eaten with chips? Maybe it's because I'm not the biggest chip fan...

It's atypical. I wouldn't call it weird, just something you do that is a bit out of the ordinary. I guess you and the girl I was out with would have gotten along famously.

Flasch186 · 08-13-2013, 03:27 PM

This thread is full of way too much thinking.

Izulde · 08-13-2013, 03:41 PM

Beware yon Torgius. He thinks too much. Such men are girlfriendless.

(Rather like me. I love analyzing this shit.)

CraigSca · 08-13-2013, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Is it weird that I'm guilty of eating things straight out of the bowl/dish that are suppose to be eaten with chips? Maybe it's because I'm not the biggest chip fan...

So, you eat salsa like soup?

Galaxy · 08-13-2013, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CraigSca

So, you eat salsa like soup?

LOL. I usually don't eat straight up salsa, but I'll eat it with chips.

DaddyTorgo · 08-13-2013, 04:18 PM

Well I mean...part of the whole thing is like...trying to figure out what my feelings are for this person. Can I see myself in a relationship with them?

My time is short...I don't want to waste time with someone I'm not feeling, ya know?

And I'm a newb, so I'm trying to process it all, keep that in mind.

Chief Rum · 08-13-2013, 04:24 PM

Too much thinking early on, DT. Just have fun. If something happens, great. If it doesn't, also great.

Matthean · 08-13-2013, 05:02 PM

I figure the best way to find out is asking her out again.

murrayyyyy · 08-13-2013, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Well I mean...part of the whole thing is like...trying to figure out what my feelings are for this person. Can I see myself in a relationship with them?

My time is short...I don't want to waste time with someone I'm not feeling, ya know?

And I'm a newb, so I'm trying to process it all, keep that in mind.

Question should be (1) Did I have a good time on the last date (2) Do I want to have fun with her on a date again. If yes to both then ask her out again.

Your time is short? You've been single for how long and plan to live how long? You have all the time in the world unless your internal baby maker clock is going off and if it is, you are going to settle for someone.

Chief Rum · 08-13-2013, 05:58 PM

I started to write something else and then I realized, we're not helping DT not think much.

Really, bro, just stop thinking and go have fun.

Danny · 08-13-2013, 06:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

I started to write something else and then I realized, we're not helping DT not think much.

Really, bro, just stop thinking and go have fun.

+ Million

Kodos · 08-13-2013, 06:42 PM

And stop being a wimp. Be more assertive!

(This comes from a guy who was fairly wimpy with girls. It didn't work all that great most of the time.)

Don't waste too much effort thinking about long term possibilities. Just try to have fun in the moment and you'll naturally learn if you're compatible.

Danny · 08-13-2013, 06:45 PM

I was a wimp at one point too, had the first girl I was ever in love with manipulate me and cause me pain to no end before I finally got tired of it.

I was still a nice guy after that, but much more assertive and knew how I deserved to be treated and didn't play or put up with games.

Logan · 08-13-2013, 07:28 PM

So this girl picked up the check, normally a great move. She could have done this for only two reasons: 1) She really likes you and wanted you to know she was an awesome girl who doesn't think that just cause you're the guy you need to pay every time or 2) she wants nothing to do with you and felt bad about it, so she figured "okay, I'm going to drop this guy like a bad habit after tonight, so I will cushion the blow a bit by not putting him out any more money."

I would estimate the odds are split 95%/5% between those two scenarios, respectively. Girls who want nothing to do with you will very rarely pay for shit. That's all you need to know. And if you're wrong, you're wrong...oh well.

Text or call her ASAP with a simple "I want to take you out for dinner/drinks, are you free (day you're open)?". Straight and to the point.

DaddyTorgo · 08-13-2013, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logan

So this girl picked up the check, normally a great move. She could have done this for only two reasons: 1) She really likes you and wanted you to know she was an awesome girl who doesn't think that just cause you're the guy you need to pay every time or 2) she wants nothing to do with you and felt bad about it, so she figured "okay, I'm going to drop this guy like a bad habit after tonight, so I will cushion the blow a bit by not putting him out any more money."

I would estimate the odds are split 95%/5% between those two scenarios, respectively. Girls who want nothing to do with you will very rarely pay for shit. That's all you need to know. And if you're wrong, you're wrong...oh well.

Text or call her ASAP with a simple "I want to take you out for dinner/drinks, are you free (day you're open)?". Straight and to the point.

Very true. I'm not worried I'm wrong about that...more just trying to figure how I feel.

RedKingGold · 08-13-2013, 07:32 PM

Stop it, Ted Mosby. Just stop it.

Izulde · 08-13-2013, 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

Stop it, Ted Mosby. Just stop it.

This.

Logan · 08-13-2013, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Very true. I'm not worried I'm wrong about that...more just trying to figure how I feel.

She's not asking you for a ring. Keep the momentum going. Worst case, as others have said, you're not into each other and you've gotten some good experience.

Izulde · 08-13-2013, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Very true. I'm not worried I'm wrong about that...more just trying to figure how I feel.

And while you sit around waiting to figure out how you feel, some other dude who doesn't dick around can sweep right in and take her, and then you realize Oh shit I like her, well guess what son, that train done left the damn station and you're SOL.

RedKingGold · 08-13-2013, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

And while you sit around waiting to figure out how you feel, some other dude who doesn't dick around can sweep right in and take her, and then you realize Oh shit I like her, well guess what son, that train done left the damn station and you're SOL.

Ah shi . . .Izulde's moving in on DT's girl!

DaddyTorgo · 08-13-2013, 08:13 PM

PilotMan · 08-13-2013, 08:18 PM

Perspective. You say time is running short, dude, even a year isn't going to kill you for a girl. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and relax man.

M GO BLUE!!! · 08-13-2013, 08:31 PM

Ask yourself one question.

1. Does she make you smile, even when she's not there?

If the answer is yes, don't be stupid. Even if it isn't, take it for what it is and enjoy what you can.

Danny · 08-13-2013, 09:07 PM

Ask yourself one question.

1. Does she make you erect, even when she's not there?

If the answer is yes, don't be stupid. Even if it isn't, take it for what it is and enjoy what you can

Autumn · 08-13-2013, 09:36 PM

Ask yourself one question.

1. Does she make you do chores, even when she's not there?

If the answer is yes, don't be stupid, do the chores. Even if it isn't, get some shit done just in case.

Oh wait, is this the Marriage thread?

TCY Junkie · 08-13-2013, 09:45 PM

I would just end things with her unless you like wasting time. Of course I like to get to know rather a girl would be fun to be around even after 20 years of marriage, but the few girls I had a great date with kept me from thinking about the future. There are other girls in the world, of course this my opinion. I'd blow her off if you're not into her.

rowech · 08-13-2013, 09:52 PM

Watch the movie Swingers...it will show you what not to do and what absolutely to do.

Matthean · 08-13-2013, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

Stop it, Ted Mosby. Just stop it.

+1.

Quote:

Originally Posted by rowech

Watch the movie Swingers...it will show you what not to do and what absolutely to do.

What not to do.

Chief Rum · 08-14-2013, 12:30 AM

Maybe the most painful scene ever.

rowech · 08-14-2013, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Maybe the most painful scene ever.

It's still hard to watch.

Galaxy · 08-14-2013, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matthean

What not to do.

Painful.

JonInMiddleGA · 08-17-2013, 03:25 AM

Saw this blurb about in an article about comic Marc Maron's series on IFC. So help me, the first thing I thought of was this thread

Quote:

Discussing how he looks at potential romances, he says, “I see red flags as sort of a slalom course.”

Izulde · 09-14-2013, 04:15 AM

Anybody ever tried speed dating?

Galaxy · 09-14-2013, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Anybody ever tried speed dating?

Did you do it?

Izulde · 09-14-2013, 04:54 PM

No. I've been thinking about it though.

DaddyTorgo · 10-22-2013, 10:40 PM

Wisdom needed:

So one of the eHarmony pre-written questions is along the lines of "What have you learned from past relationships?"

So of course this girl who is interesting asks me that. I don't really have an answer. Somehow I don't think "Haven't had enough past relationships to learn anything" is a winning answer.

What can I say that's a good answer without being BS?

Izulde · 10-22-2013, 11:00 PM

Broaden the definition of relationship to cover all relationships, not just romantic.

DaddyTorgo · 10-22-2013, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Broaden the definition of relationship to cover all relationships, not just romantic.

Yeah - I think that was my initial thought also.

Lathum · 10-23-2013, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Wisdom needed:

So one of the eHarmony pre-written questions is along the lines of "What have you learned from past relationships?"

So of course this girl who is interesting asks me that. I don't really have an answer. Somehow I don't think "Haven't had enough past relationships to learn anything" is a winning answer.

What can I say that's a good answer without being BS?

I would say that you have learned you aren't going to try and change who you are for someone else.

DaddyTorgo · 10-23-2013, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

I would say that you have learned you aren't going to try and change who you are for someone else.

Also good call.

molson · 10-23-2013, 10:37 AM

I'm not sure if Lathum is intentionally being ironic, but what would be your honest answer if you weren't concerned at all with how it came across to anyone? (I don't think the answer is you haven't learned anything, I'm sure you've learned tons along the way). At least start there. (Though, Lathum's answer is great for opening the door/getting another email from her, I just think its good too get in the habit of working through that stuff in a self-reflective way.)

DaddyTorgo · 10-23-2013, 11:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson

I'm not sure if Lathum is intentionally being ironic, but what would be your honest answer if you weren't concerned at all with how it came across to anyone? (I don't think the answer is you haven't learned anything, I'm sure you've learned tons along the way). At least start there. (Though, Lathum's answer is great for opening the door/getting another email from her, I just think its good too get in the habit of working through that stuff in a self-reflective way.)

Well I think I can come up with a good answer from a non-romantic-relationship POV. I don't think I have a problem if you expand it out to that.

If you take the question as "what have you learned from your past romantic relationships?" then my honest answer is "I haven't had any of any meaningful depth enough to learn anything."

Logan · 10-23-2013, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lathum

I would say that you have learned you aren't going to try and change who you are for someone else.

I would tack on a "but also that there are times when compromising is necessary." Like you've grown and shit.

PilotMan · 10-23-2013, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logan

I would tack on a "but also that there are times when compromising is necessary." Like you've grown and shit.

DaddyTorgo · 11-04-2013, 08:36 AM

Shameless cross-posts from my thread in the dynasty forum

10/26

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Well that was a good coffee meetup. Hour and a half or so of conversation with a lovely girl.

My gripe with the last one was that she didn't really take care of herself. This girl is more fit and more chatty. We're also both BC alums (she was a freshman my senior year), so we share that in common.

There's definitely more to find out about her, but there's enough common interests and I felt intrigued enough to know more, that we'll be doing something else soon if it's up to me (will have to fire out a text to that effect in a couple minutes).

This morning

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Okay - well that went well. Had dinner with 10/26 girl (Marcia) on Friday night. Good dinner, good conversation, very free-flowing and even (where maybe I felt I talked a bit too much at coffee).

She seems very down-to-earth (which I like).

We texted back-and-forth last night about the rest of our weekends for a bit, and then she took the initiative of asking me to her place for dinner on this coming Saturday.

Logan · 11-04-2013, 09:34 AM

Sweet!

08-13-2013, 02:42 PM	#1104
Matthean Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Aug 2008	__________________ Board games: Bringing people back to the original social network, the table.

08-13-2013, 03:27 PM	#1106
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	This thread is full of way too much thinking. __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

08-13-2013, 03:41 PM	#1107
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Beware yon Torgius. He thinks too much. Such men are girlfriendless. (Rather like me. I love analyzing this shit.) __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

08-13-2013, 04:24 PM	#1111
Chief Rum Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Where Hip Hop lives	Too much thinking early on, DT. Just have fun. If something happens, great. If it doesn't, also great. __________________ . . I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready.

08-13-2013, 05:02 PM	#1112
Matthean Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Aug 2008	I figure the best way to find out is asking her out again. __________________ Board games: Bringing people back to the original social network, the table.

08-13-2013, 04:18 PM	#1110
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Well I mean...part of the whole thing is like...trying to figure out what my feelings are for this person. Can I see myself in a relationship with them? My time is short...I don't want to waste time with someone I'm not feeling, ya know? And I'm a newb, so I'm trying to process it all, keep that in mind.

08-13-2013, 05:58 PM	#1114
Chief Rum Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Where Hip Hop lives	I started to write something else and then I realized, we're not helping DT not think much. Really, bro, just stop thinking and go have fun. __________________ . . I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready.

08-13-2013, 06:42 PM	#1116
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	And stop being a wimp. Be more assertive! (This comes from a guy who was fairly wimpy with girls. It didn't work all that great most of the time.) Don't waste too much effort thinking about long term possibilities. Just try to have fun in the moment and you'll naturally learn if you're compatible. __________________ Author of The Bill Gates Challenge, as well as other groundbreaking dynasties.

08-13-2013, 06:45 PM	#1117
Danny Head Coach Join Date: Jul 2001	I was a wimp at one point too, had the first girl I was ever in love with manipulate me and cause me pain to no end before I finally got tired of it. I was still a nice guy after that, but much more assertive and knew how I deserved to be treated and didn't play or put up with games.

08-13-2013, 07:28 PM	#1118
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	So this girl picked up the check, normally a great move. She could have done this for only two reasons: 1) She really likes you and wanted you to know she was an awesome girl who doesn't think that just cause you're the guy you need to pay every time or 2) she wants nothing to do with you and felt bad about it, so she figured "okay, I'm going to drop this guy like a bad habit after tonight, so I will cushion the blow a bit by not putting him out any more money." I would estimate the odds are split 95%/5% between those two scenarios, respectively. Girls who want nothing to do with you will very rarely pay for shit. That's all you need to know. And if you're wrong, you're wrong...oh well. Text or call her ASAP with a simple "I want to take you out for dinner/drinks, are you free (day you're open)?". Straight and to the point.

08-13-2013, 07:32 PM	#1120
RedKingGold College Starter Join Date: Oct 2002	Stop it, Ted Mosby. Just stop it.

08-13-2013, 08:13 PM	#1125
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	LOL __________________ If I've ever helped you and you'd like to buy me a coffee, or just to say thanks, I have my Bitcoin and Ethereum addressed listed below :) BTC: bc1qykhsfyn9vw4ntqfgr0svj4n9tjdgufryh2pxn5 ETH: 0x2AcdC5cd88EA537063553F5b240073bE067BaCa9

08-13-2013, 08:18 PM	#1126
PilotMan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Seven miles up	Perspective. You say time is running short, dude, even a year isn't going to kill you for a girl. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself and relax man. __________________ He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam

08-13-2013, 08:31 PM	#1127
M GO BLUE!!! Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2005	Ask yourself one question. 1. Does she make you smile, even when she's not there? If the answer is yes, don't be stupid. Even if it isn't, take it for what it is and enjoy what you can.

08-13-2013, 09:07 PM	#1128
Danny Head Coach Join Date: Jul 2001	Ask yourself one question. 1. Does she make you erect, even when she's not there? If the answer is yes, don't be stupid. Even if it isn't, take it for what it is and enjoy what you can Last edited by Danny : 08-13-2013 at 09:07 PM.

08-13-2013, 09:36 PM	#1129
Autumn Head Coach Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bath, ME	Ask yourself one question. 1. Does she make you do chores, even when she's not there? If the answer is yes, don't be stupid, do the chores. Even if it isn't, get some shit done just in case. Oh wait, is this the Marriage thread?

08-13-2013, 09:45 PM	#1130
TCY Junkie College Prospect Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: TX	I would just end things with her unless you like wasting time. Of course I like to get to know rather a girl would be fun to be around even after 20 years of marriage, but the few girls I had a great date with kept me from thinking about the future. There are other girls in the world, of course this my opinion. I'd blow her off if you're not into her. __________________ I try to open things I probably have no chance of opening.

08-13-2013, 09:52 PM	#1131
rowech Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2006	Watch the movie Swingers...it will show you what not to do and what absolutely to do.

08-14-2013, 12:30 AM	#1133
Chief Rum Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Where Hip Hop lives	Maybe the most painful scene ever. __________________ . . I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready.

09-14-2013, 04:15 AM	#1137
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Anybody ever tried speed dating? __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

09-14-2013, 04:54 PM	#1139
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	No. I've been thinking about it though. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

10-22-2013, 10:40 PM	#1140
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Wisdom needed: So one of the eHarmony pre-written questions is along the lines of "What have you learned from past relationships?" So of course this girl who is interesting asks me that. I don't really have an answer. Somehow I don't think "Haven't had enough past relationships to learn anything" is a winning answer. What can I say that's a good answer without being BS?

10-22-2013, 11:00 PM	#1141
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Broaden the definition of relationship to cover all relationships, not just romantic. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

10-23-2013, 10:37 AM	#1145
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	I'm not sure if Lathum is intentionally being ironic, but what would be your honest answer if you weren't concerned at all with how it came across to anyone? (I don't think the answer is you haven't learned anything, I'm sure you've learned tons along the way). At least start there. (Though, Lathum's answer is great for opening the door/getting another email from her, I just think its good too get in the habit of working through that stuff in a self-reflective way.) Last edited by molson : 10-23-2013 at 10:38 AM.

11-04-2013, 09:34 AM	#1150
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	Sweet!

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