03-02-2012, 02:50 PM | #51 | |||
Go Reds
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio
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Quote:
I don't think she's meaning to undermine your way of parenting. In fact, she probably doesn't realize how strict you are and set in your ways about the usage. She probably just figured you/Carter were being polite using the "Mrs. Johnson" moniker, and she's acknowledging that she is more comfortable as Jane. Nothing against what you're trying to do. That's my take. Last edited by korme : 03-02-2012 at 02:55 PM. Reason: After reading the first page I realize this is nearly everyone's summation |
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03-02-2012, 02:55 PM | #52 | |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Umm ... huh? This isn't ringing any bells, how does it work? Same gets the title, diff doesn't (diminishing the outsider)? Or the opposite, where same gets treated as familiar but the outsider is treated with feigned respect? Genuinely wondering here (just ftr).
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03-02-2012, 02:58 PM | #53 | |
Retired
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Fantasyland
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You're missing it. Introducing yourself to a white person - "Hi, I'm Bob." Introducing yourself to a black person - "Hi, I'm Mr. Smith" I've seen one of my in-laws do this repeatedly - including to me when we first met 20+ years ago. He's a closet bigot. |
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03-02-2012, 03:01 PM | #54 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Colorado
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What I have experienced and observed (again, particularly in the South), is that if there is a formality, then some sort of a wall or divider exist or implied, however subtle (or otherwise). In other words, there is not a line you should cross to enter into my personal space.
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03-02-2012, 03:07 PM | #55 | |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Decatur, GA
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Especially if you look nothing like Rowan Atkinson.
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03-02-2012, 03:12 PM | #56 |
Retired
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Fantasyland
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03-02-2012, 03:15 PM | #57 | |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
I get what you're describing now at least (I was picturing 3rd-party introductions previously). Hmm ... {trying to conjure instances ... pretty much failing} Honestly the most common I can come up with is Introducing self to BlackWhiteMrX - "John Smith" The typical (i.e. commonplace) response would be something like White Guy X - "Nice to meet you John, I'm Bill Jones" Black Guy X - "Pleased to meet you Mr. Smith. You can call me Joe" I won't argue that - given players above a certain age anyway - there's a presumption about the latter's response (and a negative impression made if that isn't met). Then again, there's also a tendency - again age related - for deference to take place even if it's actively discouraged. There's a specific "Mr JiMG" / "Miss JiMG" example comes to mind no matter how many times we've tried to impress Jon & Mary upon him. For him, it's a matter of preserving a habit that reduces the possibility of conflict if he guesses wrong on how to address somebody. 'Round those parts, nobody gets mad over MrFirstName /MissFirstName.
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"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis Last edited by JonInMiddleGA : 03-02-2012 at 03:15 PM. |
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03-02-2012, 03:36 PM | #58 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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How did my great grandpa get involved in this????
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03-02-2012, 03:39 PM | #59 | |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Appleton, WI
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In most cases that will happen only the first time. Once you say "call me Bob", I will. Just like if anyone calls me Mr. Smith, I'll tell them to call me Brian. There may be a geographic component to this as well. The wall of formality may drop almost immediately, but I like to acknowledge the possibility of it being there...even if demanding that it remain is a good way to show that you probably don't deserve respect. |
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03-02-2012, 03:41 PM | #60 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Hey!!!! I'M BRIAN SMITH!! WTF is going on here???
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03-02-2012, 03:42 PM | #61 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Decatur, GA
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Freaking racist.
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03-02-2012, 04:38 PM | #62 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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I'd never tell Pumpy to call me Mr. Kooter.
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03-02-2012, 05:03 PM | #63 |
Pro Rookie
Join Date: Jan 2005
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I didn't know the Mr./Mrs. (first name) thing was somewhat common, I'd only heard it a few times. I'm a lot more to hearing used to either just the first name or Mr/Mrs. (last name).
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03-02-2012, 05:06 PM | #64 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2009
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Would you prefer "Auntie Jane"?
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03-02-2012, 05:15 PM | #65 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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That would just confuse people.
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03-03-2012, 01:01 AM | #66 | |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Backwoods, SC
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Quote:
I remember growing up a friend's aprents were very strict about this. The dad was Robert, Bob or Mr X...but the mom was Miss Vickie. Calling her Mrs. X would get a stern lecture from both her (in a very polite overly nasal and high pitched Southern bell way) and the dad...I am NOT married to an old woman you WILL call her Miss Vickie or you are free to leave. I never understood how she was Miss anything....shouldnt it be Mrs? But anyway that was their weirdness. I still see them occasionally and emphasize Micc Vickie....even to a 65year old...I chuckle inside when I do it. |
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