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02-07-2003, 02:17 PM
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#51 | ||
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ...down the gravity well
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Defeat those dastardly cowboys!!!
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"General Woundwort's body was never found. It could be that he still lives his fierce life somewhere else, but from that day on, mother rabbits would tell their kittens that if they did not do as they were told, the General would get them. Such was Woundwort's monument, and perhaps it would not have displeased him." Watership Down, Richard Adams |
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02-07-2003, 05:30 PM
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#52 |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Chicago
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Pound the cowpokes to dust, Kodos! You know I'm with ya!
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Current Games Diablo III (BattleTag: DataKing#1685) Allegiances: Chicago Bears - Detroit Red Wings - Kansas Jayhawks Awards: 2011 Golden Scribe - Other Sports Category (The Straight(away) and Narrow - A Forza Motorsport 3 Dynasty) |
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02-07-2003, 06:28 PM
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#53 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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The 2016 NFL Playoffs
Wild Card Round Here’s what happened on Wild Card weekend. AFC: On the AFC side of things, the Bengals pulled off an upset of the AFC West Champion San Diego Chargers, while the Steelers topped the Jaguars to advance in the Sunday game. The Steelers will face the second-seeded 11-5 Cleveland Browns, while the Cinderella Bengals will travel a little bit north and a little bit west to Indianapolis to take on the top-seeded 11-5 Colts.
NFC The NFC West Champion Atlanta Falcons easily outdistanced the visiting Wranglers to advance on the first day of Wild Card Weekend, while the Cowboys whipped the Bears on Sunday night to earn themselves an invitation face us in the Divisional Round. Looks like we have another opportunity to humiliate them Cowboys, folks! Bring your best, Jerry! It’s about time for another ass-kickin’! 
Last edited by Kodos : 02-12-2003 at 06:20 PM. |
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02-07-2003, 06:38 PM
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#54 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos Subject: Dallas Cowboys Injury Report: Awwww. Looks like the Cowboys are a little bit dinged up! I hope that doesn’t hurt their performance next weekend... Daniel Moss, TE - Questionable Oliver Carnahan, WR - Out Xavier Sanford, G - Out Sean Ross, DT - Out Julio Weaver, TE - Doubtful Leonard Humphries, FB - Doubtful Cary Rheams, WR - Probable Jesse Daneke, FB - Questionable Paul McElroy, WR - Doubtful Alonzo Holmes, DE - Questionable Rich Peterson, DT - Out Harvey Casillas, S - Probable Offensive Overview: Starting Quarterback: Tracy Mazurek 265 for 452, 2979 yards, 14 TDs, 13 interceptions this season. Excellent at throwing short passes. Starting Running Back: Norbert Healey 234 carries for 1079 yards, 9 touchdowns this season. Very good overall runner. Starting Flanker: Gino Burroughs 59 receptions for 623 yards, 3 touchdowns this season. Good hands. Starting Split End: Dale Corbett 63 receptions for 807 yards, 6 touchdowns this season. Good go-to receiver. Very good overall run blocking, anchored by LT Ethan Thornhill Very good overall pass blocking, anchored by LG Michael Robertson Likes to use the I formation and the Weak formation in running situations. Likes to use the Single-Back formation and the Shotgun formation in passing situx ations. Tendencies on offense: First and Ten: Run much more than average Second and Long: Run more than average Second and Short: Run much more than average Third and Short: Run more than average Tends to run behind the right guard more than most teams. Tends to throw short passes more than most teams. Defensive Overview: Starting Left Defensive End: Winston Wayne 42 tackles, 9 assists, 10.5 sacks this season. Good pass-rusher. Starting Right Defensive End: Marlon Linquist 31 tackles, 12 assists, 11.0 sacks this season. Good defender against the run. Starting Left Defensive Tackle: Kerry Grasso 20 tackles, 6 assists, 2.5 sacks this season. Good defender against the run. Starting Right Defensive Tackle: Sean Ross 4 tackles, 0 assists, 0.5 sacks this season. Very good pass-rusher. Starting Weak-Side Linebacker: Jamal McElroy 58 tackles, 17 assists, 0.0 sacks this season. Very good man-to-man pass defender. Starting Middle Linebacker: Troy Tompkins 101 tackles, 30 assists, 3.0 sacks this season. Excellent pass-rusher. Starting Strong-Side Linebacker: Bruce Leatherwood 71 tackles, 13 assists, 0.0 sacks this season. Fair defender against the run. Starting Weak-Side Cornerback: Joel Flannery 45 tackles, 20 assists, 2 interceptions this season. Very good zone pass defender. Starting Strong-Side Cornerback: Jerome McCarthy 41 tackles, 10 assists, 3 interceptions this season. Very good pass intercepter. Starting Free Safety: Greg Drayson 60 tackles, 18 assists, 7 interceptions this season. Excellent man-to-man pass defender. Starting Strong Safety: Shawn Treadway 49 tackles, 7 assists, 1 interceptions this season. Good pass intercepter. Tendencies on Defense: Uses both a 4-3 and a 3-4 front. Tends to use 2-deep zone pass coverage more than most teams. Tends to blitz much less than most teams. |
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02-07-2003, 07:16 PM
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#55 |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Illinois
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Give 'em hell Kodos!
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02-08-2003, 08:41 PM
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#56 |
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High School JV
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Herndon, Va
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Its good to read about Berg and Farley again, I missed those guys.....only one question why is this kid the backup QB rather than that talented veteran Dana Alston
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The funniest comedy duo I have ever seen - www.magaga.com/ |
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02-09-2003, 02:02 AM
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#57 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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That's a good question. I guess Ondre did better in the preseason, so I made him number 2, even though Alston is slightly better rated. Ah well - hopefully neither backup will see any playing time the rest of the year.
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02-10-2003, 11:33 AM
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#58 |
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n00b
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: UK
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I've been away from the board a long time but it's great to see that you are still writing as well as ever Kodos.
Loving the story as always. |
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02-10-2003, 01:02 PM
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#59 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Thanks, CK! I'll try to have the Dallas game up today or tomorrow.
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02-12-2003, 06:31 PM
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#60 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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The 2016 NFL Playoffs
Divisional Round Here’s how things went down in the three games preceding our showdown with the Cowboys. AFC: The Cinderella Bengals team continued their improbable march to the Super Bowl by upsetting the top-seeded Colts, 31-28. In other news, Four Horsemen were spotted in downtown Indianapolis shortly after the game.  The underdog Steelers did not fare as well, as they were easily dispatched by the Browns, 33-6.
NFC: On our side of the bracket, the Buccaneers crushed the Falcons as expected, then sat back and waited to see the results of our Sunday night game versus the Cowboys.
Last edited by Kodos : 02-13-2003 at 07:12 PM. |
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02-12-2003, 07:40 PM
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#61 |
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Team Chaplain
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
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Kodos, it's been an hour since you last edited that post. C'mon, man! What you tryin to do to a guy? WHAT HAPPENED AGAINST DALLAS????
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Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference. |
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02-12-2003, 09:21 PM
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#62 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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But Captain! I'm working as fast as I can! You can't expect miracles!
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02-12-2003, 10:53 PM
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#63 | |
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Strategy Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: North Carolina
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man, you really keep us hanging.
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02-13-2003, 01:16 AM
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#64 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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The 2016 NFL Playoffs
Divisional Round #4 Dallas (11-6) at #1 Gatesville (13-3) Attendance: 53,300 were on hand to witness our playoff showdown with our intrastate rivals, the Cowboys. In an unusual occurrence, there weren’t any no-shows. Injury Update: Following 2 weeks of much-needed downtime, we found ourselves in good shape injury-wise coming into the game against the Cowboys. Outside of flanker Earl Thornton, who was on IR, and left end Dusty Szilter, who was still healing from a broken hand (but would play anyway), there were no significant injuries for us. The Cowboys, on the other hand, looked like they needed a M*A*S*H unit. The Game: The Cowboys and the Silicon Pirates had only met once in playoff history before this game. Back in 2014, the Cowboys had upset the top-seeded Tampa Bay Buccaneers to advance to the NFC Championship Game and face us at home in Gatesville. We spanked ‘em by the score of 42-10 en route to a second consecutive Super Bowl title. Now, 2 years later, the ‘boys were coming to town once again. Would history repeat itself, or would Jerry Jones and his Cowboys finally get some revenge? It was a miserable, gray, rainy day in Gatesville as game time approached. We won the toss and opted to receive. Following a touchback, Berg and the offense took to the field, and two consecutive Berg draws netted us a quick first down. On the third play, Berg sent the ball soaring down field, and Ralph Randle was there to pull it in for a 40-yard pickup that moved us to the Cowboy 28. One drop and two off-target passes stalled our momentum, and we were forced to settle for a 45-yard Broderick Hidalgo field goal attempt. Sadly, Hidalgo’s plant-foot slipped in the mud, and the ball sailed wide right, giving the Cowboys possession on their 35 with the score still 0-0. On first down, Dusty Szilter, broken hand and all, crushed fullback Jesse Daneke on his way to sacking Tracy Mazurek for a 7-yard loss. Mazurek fumbled, but tackle Ethan Thornhill was there to fall on it for the Cowboys. On second-and-17, defensive end Will Rison knocked center Marlon Mercer on his fat ass and took Mazurek down for a 6-yard loss. Facing third-and-23, Mazurek tried to hit Gino Burroughs, but the pass fell incomplete, and on came Artie Rasmussen and the Cowboys’ punting unit. On our second possession, we fared somewhat better than the Cowboys had on the preceding drive, as we only lost 2 yards on our way to a three-and-out. Will Rison struck again on the first play of the Cowboys’ second drive, as he tipped Mazurek’s pass to himself and rumbled 17 yards for a touchdown to make it 7-0, Gatesville! The Cowboys managed to get things going a bit on their third drive, picking up 21 yards in 7 plays before being forced to punt again. Undrafted rookie receiver Dale Newman dropped 2 passes in a row on our ensuing drive, which led to another three-and-out for our usually potent offense. Cowboy running back Colin Schwartz muffed the catch on the punt, but linebacker Deron Nobile was there to fall on it for the Cowboys and avert further disaster. Two plays later, the Cowboys would not be so lucky. Linebacker Dexter Mincy and safety Timothy Whalen reached Mazurek in the backfield at the same time, knocking the ball loose. This time, Whalen scooped the ball up and scrambled his way 9 yards to the Cowboy 28. Following an incomplete pass on first down, Herb Matthews darted around the left side of the line behind left guard Rusty Pleasant for 13 yards and a first down. Berg then picked up 7 more yards on a draw before Bruce Leatherwood dragged him down. Two plays later, Chuck Farley caught a pass over the middle and plowed over strong safety Shawn Treadway for a 7-yard touchdown! Once again, the soggy field came into play on the kick, as Hidalgo missed the extra point to leave the score at 13-0. Looking to stop the bleeding, the Cowboys offense took the field after a 37-yard kickoff return by Schwartz that had them starting off from their own 42. Mazurek tried to be like Berg on first down, but his draw play netted just 2 yards. Daneke’s 6-yard gain on second down was negated by a holding call on third down, and Rasmussen was called into service once more. Starting from our 16, Berg threw an ill-advised pass that was picked off by cornerback Howard McHenry at our 35 and returned to our 18. Trailing 13-0 late in the first quarter, this was the Cowboys’ chance to climb back into the game. On first down, running back Norbert Healey tried one up the middle, but gained minimal yardage before Mincy dragged him down. Second down saw Mazurek sacked again, this time by the combo of Rison and reserve linebacker Norbert Holmes. Facing third-and-13 from our 21, Mazurek, under intense pressure, dumped the ball off to receiver Dale Corbett, who netted only 5 yards before all-pro corner Joel Harden dragged him down. On came Bo Atkins for a 33-yard field goal that split the uprights and cut our lead to 13-3. We began the second quarter with decent field position, and Newman redeemed himself a bit on the second play with a 31-yard reception down the sideline. An 8-yard Matthews run and a couple of Randle receptions soon moved us well into Cowboy territory, and on the ninth play of the drive, Chuck Farley caught his second touchdown pass of the day, this one an 8-yarder that capped a 72-yard drive and put us up 20-3 with 10 minutes left until the half. Needing to answer our scoring drive, the Cowboys put together their second sustained drive of the day. Starting from their 26, they moved 28 yards in 10 plays before our defense stiffened and forced a punt. Despite their recent success, our offense didn’t do much with the ball this time, and it was another quick three-and-out. Dallas, apparently not wanting to show us up, followed suit quickly. Rasmussen’s punt pinned us on our own 13, and things got worse when fullback Levon Wallace was stuffed by linebacker Steve Binn for a 3-yard loss on first down. Second down saw Berg throw a bullet over the middle to Newman, who gained 25-yards to get us out of trouble. Berg found Newman again on the next play, this time for 37 yards, and just like that, we were on the Cowboy 28! As we hit the two-minute warning, Berg finished off the 4-play, 87-yard drive with a 28-yard touchdown strike to Artie Furman. This time, the extra point was good, and we led 27-3! Straining to see through the rain from across the field, I watched Jones pacing the Cowboys’ sideline. He was trying to look calm, but I just knew that he had to be fuming inside. His team was staring eyeball to eyeball with elimination, and he damn well knew it. Two plays later, Jones would have another reason to fume. Mazurek, looking to get something going for the Cowboys before the half, lobbed a pass deep downfield to Dale Corbett, but Harden broke on his pass and took it 7 yards the other way to our 42. On the very next play, Berg hit a streaking Artie Furman, who ducked and dodged and sprinted his way to paydirt from 58 yards out for his second score of the day. 34-3! The rout was on! When the gun sounded at halftime, we had held the Cowboys' offense to just 4 first downs, 43 rushing yards, and -13 passing yards. The stunned-bunny looks on their faces brought new meaning to the word "priceless" as they limped into the half with another thirty minutes of misery to look forward to. The second half started much like the first half had ended, with Joel Harden intercepting a deep pass on the Cowboy’s first play. We didn’t capitalize with a score, but that didn’t hurt too much sitting on a 34-3 lead. Halfway through the third, Herb Matthews finished off a drive that started on the Cowboy 45 with a 4-yard plunge off of left tackle. Five minutes later, backup QB Dana Alston would hit backup tight end Mitchell Horner for a 10-yard TD that made it 48-3. With two-and-a-half minutes left in their season, the Cowboys finally found the end zone with a 3-yard touchdown pass from Roosevelt Murray to Marty Clark, but it didn’t matter. Hidalgo tacked on a meaningless 50-yard field goal soon after to close out the scoring. When all was said and done, we had triumphed and sent the Cowboys back to Dallas reeling from a devastating 51-10 defeat. Enjoy thinking about this game all offseason, Jerry! Those 11 passing yards you got for the game were quite impressive. Key Performers: Berg completed 14 of 26 attempts for 289 yards, 4 TDs, and 1 interception before leaving the game midway through the third quarter. Dana Alston went 6 for 9 for 68 yards and 1 TD in relief of Bergeron. Herb Matthews had a bad day rushing, as he gained only 25 yards on 9 carries. He did score one TD though. Dale Newman had a monster game, catching 7 passes for 146 yards. Artie Furman made the most of his 4 catches by gaining 106 yards and scoring twice. Chuck Farley caught 3 passes for 24 yards and 2 touchdowns. Ralph Randle caught 6 passes for 93 yards. Joel Harden picked off the Game MVP award with 16 tackles, 1 assist, and 2 backbreaking interceptions. His 16 tackles was a playoff record. Backup defensive end Will Rison recorded 1.5 sacks, 1 tackle, and 1 interception, which he returned for a score. Cowboy’s QB Tracy Mazurek had a banner day, completing 2 of 16 attempts for 11 yards, 0 TDs, and 3 picks. Sixteen-year veteran QB Roosevelt Murray, in relief of the painfully inept Mazurek, hit on 3 of 5 passes for 31 yards and 1 TD. New Injuries: Left guard Rusty Pleasant sustained a bruised sternum, and will be out for the Tampa Bay game.  Al Ingram sprained his ankle, but should be able to play next week. Backup safety Timothy Whalen suffered a hip pointer and will be out next week as well. I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling pretty good about our chances. BRING ON THE BUCS! WHO'S UP FOR SOME REVENGE?!?  Last edited by Kodos : 02-13-2003 at 07:12 PM. |
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02-13-2003, 01:40 AM
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#65 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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P.S. - Sorry for the long delay, guys. I've just been too busy recently to write this thing up. Hopefully the result was worth the wait.
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02-13-2003, 10:26 AM
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#66 |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Chicago
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You say that Jones was standing on the sidelines during the game? Isn't that old bastard in a wheelchair by now?
Great job Kodos! No matter what happens from here on out, it was a successful season in my book.
__________________
Current Games Diablo III (BattleTag: DataKing#1685) Allegiances: Chicago Bears - Detroit Red Wings - Kansas Jayhawks Awards: 2011 Golden Scribe - Other Sports Category (The Straight(away) and Narrow - A Forza Motorsport 3 Dynasty) |
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02-13-2003, 10:34 AM
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#67 | |
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Strategy Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: North Carolina
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Chuck U!!!!
this game is going to be awesome! take down those damned Buccaneers, and return Gatesville to glory!
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02-13-2003, 10:55 AM
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#68 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Ya know, I don't think there is a team out there that we have fared better against than the Cowboys.
Jones is still in pretty good shape for an old man, but the same can't be said for his face. Too much pulling and tucking and botoxing has made him the new Michael Jackson.Tampa will be tough, but we seem to be playing well at the moment. I am cautiously optimistic. Last edited by Kodos : 02-13-2003 at 10:56 AM. |
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02-13-2003, 12:01 PM
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#69 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Poll Time!
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02-13-2003, 07:18 PM
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#70 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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The 2016 NFL Playoffs
Conference Championship Round AFC: The Bengals’ Cinderella story ended on a snowy winter day in Cleveland, as the two seed edged the six seed to advance to the Super Bowl.
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02-13-2003, 07:24 PM
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#71 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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From: Kyle Diaz
To: Bill Gates & Kodos Subject: Tampa Bay Buccaneers Injury Report: Luther Monroe, DT - Doubtful Fernando Uzzell, RB - Questionable Shawn Spoljaric, WR - Questionable Jon Adams, RB - Questionable Barry Jamison, WR - Doubtful Junior Martinez, S - Out Devin McDonald, DT - Out Jamal Hollas, WR - Out Tyrell Dempsey, DT - Probable Offensive Overview: Starting Quarterback: Dwight Norris 194 for 300, 2131 yards, 16 TDs, 5 interceptions this season. Excellent at throwing very long passes. Loves to run the football. Starting Running Back: Jon Adams 200 carries for 746 yards, 6 touchdowns this season. Excellent overall runner. No relation to Ryan, Bryan, or Samuel Adams. Starting Flanker: Andre Barker 62 receptions for 888 yards, 1 touchdowns this season. Excellent go-to receiver. Starting Split End: Ethan Hevey 57 receptions for 751 yards, 3 touchdowns this season. Excellent go-to receiver. Very good overall run blocking, anchored by LG Winfred Clark Very good overall pass blocking, anchored by C Eddie Carpenter Likes to use the I formation and the Strong formation in running situations. Likes to use the Single-Back formation and the Shotgun formation in passing situations. Tendencies on offense: First and Ten: Run more than average Second and Long: Run more than average Second and Short: Run much more than average Third and Short: Run more than average Tends to run behind the left guard far more than most teams. Tends to throw screen passes more than most teams. Defensive Overview: Starting Left Defensive End: Marty Card 23 tackles, 7 assists, 10.0 sacks this season. Good pass-rusher. Starting Right Defensive End: Renaldo Apolonio 25 tackles, 12 assists, 7.5 sacks this season. Very good defender against the run. Starting Left Defensive Tackle: Luther Monroe 38 tackles, 15 assists, 2.5 sacks this season. Very good defender against the run. Starting Right Defensive Tackle: Tyrell Dempsey 38 tackles, 15 assists, 2.5 sacks this season. No real strengths to speak of. Starting Left Linebacker: Mark Dixon 66 tackles, 24 assists, 3.0 sacks this season. Very good pass-rusher. Starting Middle Linebacker: Marco Curtis 52 tackles, 19 assists, 1.0 sacks this season. Good pass-rusher. Starting Right Linebacker: Harry Shields 69 tackles, 12 assists, 0.0 sacks this season. Fair pass-rusher. Starting Weak-Side Cornerback: Danny Carty 46 tackles, 15 assists, 5 interceptions this season. Excellent zone pass defender. Starting Strong-Side Cornerback: Wesley Castleberry 38 tackles, 10 assists, 2 interceptions this season. Very good pass intercepter. Starting Free Safety: Adrian Strong 70 tackles, 25 assists, 6 interceptions this season. Excellent man-to-man pass defender. Starting Strong Safety: Antonio Stephens 32 tackles, 6 assists, 6 interceptions this season. Very good pass intercepter. Tendencies on Defense: Exclusively uses a 4-3 front. Tends to use bump and run pass coverage more than most teams. Last edited by Kodos : 02-13-2003 at 07:26 PM. |
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02-15-2003, 10:41 PM
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#72 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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The 2016 NFL Playoffs
NFC Championship Game Tampa Bay (14-3) at Gatesville (14-3) ============================================ Attendance: Once again, 53,300 bought tickets, and once again, all 53,300 showed up for the game. As I watched the fans pass through the turnstiles, my eye lit up with visions of dancing dollar signs. If we could get to the Super Bowl, it could be a nice little economic boost for me. Injury Update: Veteran tackle James Pond replaced the injured Rusty Pleasant at left guard. The Game: Next to our very own Silicon Pirates, the Buccaneers have clearly been the second most dominant team in the NFL over the past 5 seasons. Armed with the one-two punch of the crafty veteran QB Dwight Norris, and the powerful running back Jon Adams, the Buccaneer offense has been creating nightmares for opposing coaches for years. Exactly one year ago, the Bucs played host to us in the NFC championship game, and they unceremoniously ejected us from the playoffs with a 42-12 ass-kicking that still stings when I think about it to this day. A scant ten weeks ago, we returned the favor a little with a 52-24 pummeling of the Bucs on our home turf. Now, with a trip to the Super Bowl on the line, the Buccaneers were coming to town with their dream of back-to-back championships held close to their hearts. Nobody in the press was predicting a blowout this time around, although many folks in the media and on talk radio were already anointing whoever might come out on top in the game as this season's Super Bowl champions. Here in Gatesville, we did our best to ignore all of the hype, and set ourselves to the task of preparing for Norris, Adams, et al. Gametime saw us with decent weather for January, with the temperature hovering right around 50 as nightfall approached. We won the coin toss, and elected to receive the ball first. KR Scott Cooley made a good return out to the 33 after fielding the ball at our 5. The offense trotted out on the field looking to set the tone of the game right from the outset. Berg came out firing, and found Matthews in the flat for a 14-yard pickup. Next, Berg hit Chuck Farley, who smashed through several defenders on his way to a 21-yard gain. Two plays, 35 yards. Not too bad a start. Perhaps we lost our concentration for a minute, because we committed a false start, and then had an ineligible man downfield penalty, which quickly had us facing first-and-20. Berg, obviously pissed off at the needless gaffes, let the guilty parties know in no uncertain terms that they needed to get their heads back in the game. Looking to get it all back at once, Berg took a five-step drop, and heaved it toward the end zone, where Ralph Randle had his man beaten by a step for a 42-yard touchdown. With that, it was a 7-0 Pirates lead not even 2 minutes into the game! Following a touchback, Dwight Norris and the Buccaneer offense jogged onto the field looking to answer our scoring drive. On first down, Jon Adams tried the left side of the line, but it was nothin’ doin’ as SOLB Terrance Fuller dragged him down three yards short of the line of scrimmage. After a short gain on a Norris draw the on the follow-up play, Norris hit split end Ethan Hevey on the sideline, and Hevey picked up 13 yards and a first down before finally being shoved out of bounds by Joel Harden. After 2 passes that netted 14 yards, Adams got another chance to move the ball on the ground, and this time he danced around the left side of the line and wove his way through the secondary for a 31-yard gain that advanced the Bucs to our 23. After that, two short gains brought up third-and-4 and a chance for our defense to force a field goal attempt, but Norris hit his tight end Andre Welch for 10 yards. The next play, running back Cary Murphy plunged right through the middle of the line for the remaining 7 yards and dove into the end zone to tie the game at 7-7. An ill-advised decision to return Ronald Ingoglia’s kickoff by Cooley forced us to start our second drive from our own 12. Unfazed, Berg hit Herb Matthews across the middle, and Matthews busted his way for 26 yards before linebacker T.J. Izzo could make the tackle. Berg, sensing that Matthews had the hot hand, found him again on the next play, this time for a 33-yard reception. Perhaps a bit overconfident about Matthews’ continued success, Berg tried to go to the well again, but this time cornerback Les Feeney was all over Matthews and knocked the ball to the ground. Second down saw Berg drop back once again, but this time he worked through his progression and found Chuck Farley for an 8-yard gain. Now facing third-and-short, Berg just shoveled it to Matthews, who moved the chains with a 5-yard gain that brought us to the Buccaneer 21. From there, two Matthews runs and a Berg draw gave us another first down on the 11, and from there, rookie running back Lonnie Ruiter took it the rest of the way to the end zone. Once again, we were out in front, this time with a 14-7 lead. Undaunted by the fact that we now had 2 touchdowns to show for our 2 possessions, Norris and the Bucs’ offense took possession of the starting from their 18 following the kickoff return. Taking over 7 minutes off of the clock, Tampa marched with great patience and confidence down the field for 79 yards in 16 plays to find themselves with a first-and-goal from our 3. To nobody’s surprise, the Bucs stuck to the ground. Running back Cary Murphy tried to make it around the right end of the line, but linebacker Dexter Mincy was there to stop him after a short gain. On second down, they gave the pill to Adams, but he must not have liked the taste of it, because he coughed the ball up when linebacker Norbert Holmes hit him. Unfortunately, right guard Kim Reilly was there to fall on it on the 2 yard line to save Tampa Bay’s drive. On third-and-goal from the 2, the Bucs gave it right back to Adams, and this time he rewarded their faith in him with a 2-yard run around the left end to tie the game back up, 14-14. If the home crowd hadn’t figured it out just yet, it was no clear that we were in for a shootout today. So far there had been four possessions in the game, and so far, there had been four touchdowns recorded. Scott Cooley made some good moves on the return to set us up on our own 36. Once again, we got right to work with a big gainer, as Matthews sprinted around the left end and made his way into the secondary for 21 yards. Our next play didn’t go nearly as well. Matthews tried to go around the right end, but defensive end Renaldo Apolonio was there to stuff him in the backfield for a 5-yard loss. A false start turned second-and-15 into second-and-20, and a short Matthews run and a short gain on second down and a short Berg draw on third down resulted in the first punt of the game. Frankie Branch’s punt pinned the Bucs on their 11, and our defense was able to force them to punt it back to us after holding Dwight and company to only one first down. Following Cooley’s punt return, we started with good field position on our 31, and Matthews ran right at the heart of their defense on first down for a 9-yard gain. Next, Berg connected with Farley over the middle for 17 more yards. Once again in the Buccaneer territory, Berg kept the ball in the air with an 18-yard out to Ty Robbins. Soon we moved inside the Bucs’ 20 when Berg hit Artie Furman for an 8-yard gain on third-and-eight to keep the drive alive. From the Tampa Bay 13, Berg threw some major heat in the direction of Ralph Randle, and Randle’s hands proved to be soft enough to bring in the pass for our third touchdown of the day. Broderick Hidalgo’s kick attempt was good, and we once again were enjoying a 7-point lead, 21-14, with 1:30 remaining until the half. Tampa Bay got the ball back with 1:23 left and with 80-yards separating them from our goal line. Norris hit Hevey on first down, but only for 7 yards. Next, Adams ran behind his left guard for a couple more yards. With just 6 seconds left, the Bucs handed it to Adams again. Before we knew it, Adams was through the line and into the secondary, but Joel Harden was there to eventually knock him out of bounds and bring and end to the first half. Trailing 21-14, the Bucs got the first crack at the ball in the second half. A defensive holding call gave them 5 yards right off the bat, and after that, 2 runs netted them 4 more yards. Facing third-and-1, they tried to surprise us with a play-action pass, but Norris’s pass fell a couple yards short of the outreached hands of tight end Andre Welch. On came the punting unit. A shanked Cary Stevens punt appeared to be a gift for us, but punt returner Scott Cooley tried to run before he had the ball, and WR Andre Barker was there to recover it for the Bucs. Damn it! A Norris pass to third wide receiver Shawn Spoljaric on second down went for 18 yards, and Cary Murphy broke through the middle for another 16 on the Bucs’ next play. To make things worse, an unnecessary roughness call set the Bucs up with first-and-goal on our 4. We stopped Murphy for no gain on first down, but he came back and gained 3 yards on second down. Once again the Bucs chose to pass when facing third-and-1, and once again, Norris’s ball failed to find its target. With that, the defense was able to get off the field having only surrendered a field goal, which in this game amounted to a major coup. Ingoglia’s 18 yarder trimmed our lead to 21-17. Looking for some redemption following the muffed punt return, Cooley broke off a 40 yarder, but it was called back on an illegal block, which spotted the ball way back at our 12. A 2-yard loss by Wallace on first down set us back even further, but center Gene Flannery sprung Matthews for an 8-yard gain on the following play to give our offense some breathing room. Facing third-and-4, Berg called his own number, and scrambled for 6 yards and a first down. Next, a 4-yard sack put us in a hole once again, and our next two plays only picked up 12 yards when we needed 14. On came Branch and the punting unit. Branch’s punt died quickly and only went for 37-yards, so the Bucs found themselves with an opportunity to go ahead starting from our 37. After a short run on first down, Norris threw one to the flanker Andre Barker for 17 yards to move the Bucs across midfield. However, a short loss on a Murphy run and 2 incompletions meant that we had dodged the bullet, and Cary Stevens came out to punt it once again. Scott Cooley, who was clearly having an off game, made another poor decision when he fielded Stevens’ punt at our 3 yard line. To make things worse, a holding call moved the ball back to the 2. Slowly but surely, we were losing the field position battle. Looking for nothing more than to get out of the shadow of our own goal post, Berg handed it to Matthews on first down, who gained 6 yards off right tackle. On second down, Matthews ran it to the right again, this time busting loose for 17 yards. From there, a short Matthews run, an incompletion, and a delay of game penalty set us up with third-and-14 on our 21. With an aura of cool determination, Berg looked off the free safety and then threaded the needle to Artie Furman out of the slot for a 29-yard gain. With the offense in a rhythm once again, Berg rattled off another three straight completions to move us to the Buccaneer 33 at the end of the third quarter. A 2-yard loss by Herb Matthews at the start of the fourth quarter threatened to stall our momentum, but Berg scrambled his way to an 8-yard gain on the next play to bring up third-and-4 on the Buccaneer 27. Before the Bucs could even think of sacking him, Berg fired a bullet to Ralph Randle for a 17 yard gain. On first-and-goal from the 10, rookie running back Lonnie Ruiter followed fullback Levon Wallace all the way to the end zone to make it 28-17 in favor of the hometown Silicon Pirates. Now with a two-score lead, just 13 minutes were standing between us and our fourth trip to the Super Bowl in five years. The stout-hearted Bucs were far from ready to surrender despite our lead, and free safety Adrian Strong returned Hidalgo’s ensuing kickoff 38 yards to their 40. On first down, Cary Murphy ran around the left end for 10 yards. However, a holding call on the next play sent them back to their own 40. Down 11 and facing first-and-20, the Bucs inexplicably opted to keep it on the ground, and Murphy managed only a 1-yard gain before defensive end Will Rison wrapped him up. On second down, Norris improvised a run, but it only went for 3 yards, setting up third-and-16. Needing a big play, the Bucs tried to catch us off guard with a screen pass to Ethan Hevey, but Joel Harden was there to tackle Hevey after just a 2-yard gain. An offsides call on the punt only hurt us a little, as the Bucs’ still found themselves facing fourth-and-nine. Cary Stevens’ punt gave possession of the ball back to us with an 11-point lead and just over 10 minutes remaining in the game. Looking to kill some time off of the clock, Berg handed it to Matthews on first down, but Matthews managed only a short gain up the middle. Following another short run by Matthews on second down, Berg hit Dale Newman for 10 yards on a curl pattern to convert third-and-7 and keep the clock moving. We went back to Matthews on first down, and just as before, he managed only a minimal gain against a defense that was obviously looking for the run. Looking to loosen them up a bit, Berg hit fullback Levon Wallace, who was uncovered in the flat, for 10 yards and a first down. Still unconvinced that the Bucs were honoring the pass, Berg went up top to Ralph Randle for a 28-yard gain. All the while, the clock, our new best friend, was busily ticking away the Bucs’ chances. Well, not really - digital clocks don’t actually tick, of course - but you get the idea. With 6:40 left in regulation, we gave the ball back to Herb Matthews, but again he failed to pick up much of anything. Deciding to go to the pass once again since the Bucs were still stacking it up against the run, Berg hit Matthews out of the backfield for an 11-yard gain and another first down. Tick-tick-tick! Tick-tick-tick! By this point in the drive, our offense had executed eight plays, and at no point had the clock stopped moving toward triple zeros. That trend continued with our next play, as Matthews found daylight in the middle of the line and plunged himself through it for a 6-yard gain. On the following play, we took a 3-yard loss by Lonnie Ruiter, but we watched with great pleasure as the clock moved under the 5 minute mark. Finally, after 5 minutes of non-stop progress, the clock was stopped at 4:48 due to an offensive holding call, but Berg immediately got it started back up with a 21-yard completion to Matthews that moved us to the Tampa Bay 8 yard line. After 6 excruciating minutes for the folks on the Buccaneer sideline, Berg put the final exclamation mark on the drive with a beautiful fade route to Artie Furman in the left corner of the end zone to put us on top 35-17 with under 4 minutes left in the game. Spirits were soaring on our sideline, and the crowd was roaring its approval as Hidalgo sent the kickoff flying into the Texas night sky, but that roar turned into a hush as Tampa Bay return man Adrian Strong got a couple of key blocks and sprinted all the way to the end zone. Our defense, in a state of utter shock, came on to stop the 2-point conversion, but Cary Murphy smashed through the line to cut our lead to 35-25. The Buccaneers, who we had beat up and left for dead just a minute earlier, had unbelievably come screaming back to life. Looking for their defense to come up with a quick stop, the Bucs kicked it deep, and taking no chances this time, Scott Cooley wisely kneeled on it for a touchback. With just 3:33 now remaining on the clock, and everyone in the country expecting a run, Berg took a quick three-step drop, and hit Matthews in the flat for a 13-yard gain and a first down. Next play, Matthews’ 4-yard run behind James Pond forced the Bucs to use their first time out. On second down, Berg tried the pass once again, but this time it fell just short of Furman’s outstretched hands, and the clock stopped its advance at 2:49. On third-and-6, Berg tossed the ball to Wallace, who rumbled for 10 yards and a big first down, and the Bucs called their second time out. Now, Berg scrambled for 5 yards out to the 47, and the Bucs were forced to burn their third and final time out. Facing second-and-5 with 2:24 remaining, we should have just run the ball and let the clock wind down to 2 minutes, but Coach Irv Saxon, enamored with his own play-calling ability, sent in a pass play, and it fell incomplete. Now needing to pick up 5 yards on third down, Saxon called another passing play, but this time Berg was able to get the ball to Herb Matthews out of the backfield, and Matthews picked up 14 yards before anybody could drag him down. Thankfully, Matthews had the presence of mind to stay in bounds, and the clock wound down to the 2 minute warning. After the time out, Berg came out looking for Matthews again, but this time his pass was smacked to the ground by linebacker Mark Dixon. A smattering of boos came from the still-nervous crowd. They, like me, just wanted us to run the ball and keep the clock moving, but the jeers turned to cheers on the next play when Matthews caught a short pass and sprinted 34 yards for a touchdown on the next play. Incredibly, Broderick Hidalgo missed the extra point, and our prospective 3-score lead remained a 2-score lead. Still, trailing 41-25 with 1:48 left and no time outs, the Bucs’ prospects looked dim indeed. Following a touchback on the kickoff, Norris failed to connect with Hevey on first down. You can only imagine my horror on the next play as third receiver Shawn Spoljaric somehow got behind our defense and Dwight Norris threw a rainbow that hit him in stride on the way to an 80-yard touchdown. Our defense, now clearly shell-shocked, could not stop fullback Dean Barber on his run for the 2-point conversion. Just like that, our insurmountable lead was down to 41-33. Rigelians are not, as a rule, very religious creatures, but you can bet that I was begging the guy upstairs to cut us some slack before the Bucs attempted their onside kick. Whether the Big Guy would listen to ol’ Kodos or not was a matter for debate. Ingoglia’s textbook onside kick went nose first into the ground and took a high, end-over-end bounce as the Buccaneer defenders converged on the ball, but my hasty-fashioned prayers were apparently answered in the form of running back Heath Patterson, who against all odds emerged from the bottom of the Buccaneer-laden pile with the ball. With 1:28 to go, we now had the ball back, and the Buccaneers had no time outs left in their possession. It was time for Berg to take a few knees and then head to the locker room having narrowly averted defeat. Apparently Irv Saxon was following a different script. First down saw Herb Matthews crushed in the backfield for a 4-yard loss, but at least this time Saxon had called a run. In light of the fact that clock kept moving, I was able to live with the call, even though it was risking a fumble. What transpired on second down has me convinced that Saxon is in fact the stupidest man alive, with the possible exception of the man on the opposite sideline, Jerry Jones. Needing only to kill the clock, and not needing to gain even 1 more yard, crafty old Irv called a pass play. Let me repeat that. Nursing just an 8-point lead with slightly over a minute left, and with the Bucs having no way to stop the clock, and with a shell-shocked defense that had just given up an 80-yard touchdown pass standing in a daze all around him, and with a trip to the Super Bowl hanging in the balance, Irv the card-carrying genius called a pass play. My fucking cat knows enough run the ball (or better yet, take a knee) in that situation! Berg’s jaw gaped open when Saxon relayed in the call, but Saxon stood firm, and Berg unhappily complied, as the play clock was running low. Berg’s screen pass, intended for Ralph Randle, was knocked down by penetrating defensive tackle Luther Monroe, and the clock was stopped with 54 seconds left. Looking to surpass his last call in terms of utter stupidity, Saxon had Berg take a knee. No need to try and run it and maybe break away for a first down when you can just kneel down to bring up fourth down instead! Livid in the knowledge that Bill Gates had forced me to go bargain hunting and hire this sub-Neanderthalic cretin of a coach, I fumed inside as I watched Frankie Branch and the punting team head out onto the field. With 29 seconds left, Branch was taking no chances with the punt. Using all of the strength in his leg, he sent it sailing out of the end zone for a touchback. Now with 22 seconds remaining, the Bucs’ offense found themselves needing another 80-yard touchdown. Dwight Norris’s first pass attempt was blocked at the line by defensive end Will Rison, and the clock stopped at 15 seconds. Quickly running out of time and needing yardage in giant chunks from here on out, Norris looked deep for Ethan Hevey on second down, but his pass fell a little short, bringing up, for all intents and purposes, third-and-80. Back in the pocket, Norris was waiting for something to open up deep on third down when linebacker Norbert Holmes ducked inside of fullback Brock Campana and brought down Norris to end the game. At long last, the Pirate faithful around the world could breathe a huge sigh of relief! Their Silicon Pirates had survived the scare, and were on their way to the biggest game of them all once more. Key Performers: Berg, the Game MVP, had himself quite an outstanding day, as he completed 26 of 33 passes for 437 yards, 4 TDs, and no interceptions. He also ran the ball 7 times for 37 yards. His 437 passing yards was the second highest total in NFL Playoff history. Interestingly, Dexter McNeil, whom Berg replaced behind center here in Gatesville a number of years back, was the current holder of the record of 477 passing yards in a playoff game. In fact, McNeil had gotten the record just the week before during his Colts’ upset loss at the hands of the Bengals in the Divisional Round. Still, I can say, with total confidence, that opting for Bergeron over McNeil was the best football decision that I have ever made. Often maligned running back Herb Matthews had himself a whale of a day as well. He ran for 73 yards on 18 carries, but his performance as a receiver was where he really shined. In all, he caught 10 passes for 182 yards and 1 TD. Keep that up and we’ll be sure to keep you around, Herb! Rookie RB Lonnie Ruiter only carried the ball 4 times for 22 yards, but 2 of those carries went for touchdowns. Ralph Randle caught 6 passes for 116 yards and 2 scores. The rookie Artie Furman caught 3 passes for 45 yards and 1 TD. The Bucs’ Jon Adams ran the ball 14 times for 94 yards and 1 TD in a losing performance for the Bucs. Dwight Norris completed 15 of 25 passes for 217 yards and 1 TD. Shawn Spoljaric caught 3 passes for 104 yards and that devastating 80-yard TD. Split end Ethan Hevey pulled in 8 passes for 72 yards. Post-Game Thoughts: What can I say about the Bucs? They showed an unbelievable amount of heart and resilience in their efforts to return to the Super Bowl. They gave us all the fight we could handle. Though they are our enemies, I can’t help but admire them - in stark contrast to my feelings about the abominable Cowboys organization, who I can look at only with utter contempt. In any case, it is now official that the Cleveland Browns will be coming to Gatesville next weekend with dreams of a Super Bowl victory in their hearts. It will be our job to squash those dreams like vile little bugs. I look forward to doing just that. See you in seven days, folks. Right now, I need to go lie down for a while. My heart can’t take many more games like this… If ever I have the opportunity to kill Irv Saxon, I swear I shall not hesitate. Last edited by Kodos : 02-15-2003 at 10:51 PM. |
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02-18-2003, 06:34 PM
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#73 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Sorry for the delay, guys. I was going to write it up right here, but apparently I left the diskette with the game log at home. So it will have to wait a little more. It should be up tonight, or, if not, tomorrow. Also, I never printed out the scouting report for the Browns. Alas. I'm inadequate again.
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02-19-2003, 08:30 PM
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#74 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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The 2016 Super Bowl
Cleveland (13-5) at Gatesville (15-3) ======================================== Attendance: Despite hosting our third Super Bowl in four seasons, 5,900 seats remained unsold for the day, as only 53,300 fans saw fit to attend the biggest game of the year. Knowing that each unsold ticket meant that I was a little bit closer to being fired, I couldn’t help but look at all those empty seats and shake my head in frustration and bewilderment. Year after year we had fielded a high-scoring, greatly entertaining team that featured one of the greatest quarterbacks in the history of the game, Devin Bergeron, and yet the fans had consistently stayed away in droves. Part of me wondered if it was because didn’t like me, the alien GM, but then I thought, no, they probably just hate Bill’s guts... The Game: The 2016 Super Bowl marked the fourth time in five seasons that we had made it to the league championship game. In 2012, our first trip to the big game, a late-game bid to tie things up against the host Cincinnati Bengals failed when Devin Bergeron was picked off by Sherman Tanner. We lost that Super Bowl 20-12. In 2013, we brought the Super Bowl home to Gatesville by virtue of a league-leading 14-2 regular season record, and we went on to beat the unfortunate New York Jets 34-7 in our second Super Bowl. The 2014 season saw the Jets return to Gatesville for the Super Bowl with revenge on their minds, only to get blown out again, this time by the score of 52-13. In 2015, our quest to become the NFL’s first three-peat champions of the Super Bowl era ended in a blowout defeat at the hands of the host Tampa Bay Buccaneers in the NFC Championship game. The Buccaneers went on to win the 2015 Super Bowl against an overmatched Buffalo Bills squad. Now, in a season that had witnessed our Pirates rise to vanquish the reigning champion Buccaneers in the NFC Championship game to return to the Super Bowl, just one team remained to stand in the way of our third NFL title: The Cleveland Browns. In the week leading up to the 2016 Super Bowl, many in the press had entirely dismissed the Browns’ chances of emerging victorious in Gatesville. In their eyes, the game was just a formality in the coronation of the heavily-favored Silicon Pirates as three-time NFL champions. Indeed, most of the experts suggested that our game with the Buccaneers would ultimately prove to have been the real Super Bowl. Now, the big game was at hand, and we would find out if the so-called experts were right... ========================= It was another gray, rainy day in what had been a gray, rainy winter in Texas. At game time, the temperature had dipped to just below 60 degrees. In other words, it was perfect football weather. We won the toss, and elected to receive. Kick return man Scott Cooley fielded the opening kickoff one yard deep in the end zone and returned it 30 yards out to the 29. On came Berg and the offense, looking to come out of the gates with a bang. On first down, Berg dropped back three steps and hit Ralph Randle in stride for a 16-yard pickup to move us close to midfield. Next came a Berg draw that produced 4 yards, and a Lonnie Ruiter run that was stuffed for no gain. On third-and-6, Berg hit his larger-than-life tight end Chuck Farley for 11-yards across the middle to keep the chains moving. Back to the ground we went, and this time Ruiter was able to find the hole for a 10-yard gain that moved us to the Browns' 30. Refusing to let up even a little, Berg went to the air again and found Ty Robbins for another 12 yards. From the Browns' 18, Herb Matthews got the call, and he gained 11-yards behind the right tackle before they could bring him down. The crowd roared with pleasure as Farley caught his second pass of the day and barreled his way through several tacklers on his way to a 7-yard touchdown. With just 4 minutes elapsed, it was already 7-0, Gatesville. In an ominous sign for the Browns, Berg and the offense had made the drive look effortless, picking up huge chunks of yardage on almost every play. If they wanted to prove the critics wrong, the Cleveland defense would have to step it up on our next possession. Following a touchback on the kickoff, Browns QB Pete Tyler immediately went down field with the ball and found rookie wide receiver Herb Farrell for 19 yards. The next play was more of the same, as Tyler hit the rookie again, this time for a 21-yard gain that moved them across midfield to our 40. From there, Tyler tried to find Farrell for the third straight time, but his pass fell incomplete. Looking to change things up, running back Winfred Gunn was given the rock, but he toted it for only 3 yards before strong safety Isaac Shaye took him down. An errant Tyler pass that was intended for veteran receiver Marshall Johnston on third-and-7 brought an end to their drive, and on came Harvey Lowe to punt the ball away. The punt only netted the Browns 17 yards after a touchback, and our offense returned to the field looking to continue the success of our first drive. Right away, Berg hit Herb Matthews for a 19-yard gain that must have been an unpleasant reminder to the Browns' defense of what had happened on our first drive. Unfortunately, our next two plays saw Matthews and Levon Wallace each lose 3 yards on the ground, and Artie Furman's 7-yard reception on third-and-long was not nearly enough to get us a first down. Following Marshall Johnston's 12-yard return of Frankie Branch's punt, Cleveland had the ball on their own 26. On first down, Winfred Gunn tried the left side of the line and found a gaping hole that he exploited for 21 yards. With a mix of passing and running plays, the Browns were able to drive the ball to our 40, only to see their drive stall just outside of field goal range once again. As had happened before, Lowe's punt ended in a touchback, and once more we took over from our own 20. Following a 9-yard pass to Levon Wallace on first down, Berg launched the ball deep into the Texas night, and Ty Robbins came up with it for a 49-yard gain despite double coverage. However, an 8-yard sack by Cleveland linebacker Howie Hitchcock on the following play stalled the drive, and we settled for a 35-yard Broderick Hidalgo field goal that made the score 10-0 as the end of the first quarter approached. Also, in an unfortunate development, our second best receiver, Ty Robbins, was injured on the field goal attempt. He would not return for the duration of the game. With the championship at stake, Berg would have to rely on Ralph Randle, Artie Furman, Chuck Farley, and Herb Matthews to carry the load the rest of the way. Over the next half quarter or so, neither team could do much with the ball. A 52-yard Hidalgo field goal attempt at around the 10 minute mark fell short of the crossbar, giving the Browns excellent field position. Two plays later, Winfred Gunn cut through the left side of the line and ran right through our secondary for a 58-yard touchdown that cut our lead down to 10-7. Didn't these Browns know that they were not supposed to be a challenge for us? A holding call on the ensuing kickoff put us on our own 10 to start the next drive, and we knew that a quick three-and-out by our offense could really charge the Browns up and get them believing that they could win. Berg and the offense came onto the field looking to shatter that confidence. In a drive that featured equal doses of Berg passes and Matthews runs, we moved 90 yards in 10 plays, with Berg fittingly hitting Matthews in the back corner of the end zone for the last 7 yards to put us ahead 17-7. With just over 4 minutes left in the first half, the Browns got the ball back needing to score to remain within striking distance of us. Staying with the ground game for the most part, the Browns were once again able to move the ball into our half of the field, but, as had happened earlier, the drive faltered just outside of field goal range, and Cleveland was forced to punt it away once again. Leading 17-7 with only a minute left to go in the second quarter, we were content to just keep the ball on the ground and go into the half with a 10-point lead. Cleveland opened the second half with a drive that took them inside our 35, but rookie placekicker Russell Blouir missed a 50-yard attempt wide right after a Dusty Sziltzer sack had short-circuited the Browns' drive. An unnecessary roughness call against us on the first play of the drive which followed doomed it from the start, and three plays later Frankie Branch came back out onto the field. From our 25, Branch boomed a 56-yard punt deep to Marshall Johnston, who fielded the ball, but who took off before he had full control of it. Right guard Darren Cruise was there to smack him, and out came the ball, which left tackle Albert Alexander happily fell upon at the Browns' 18 yard line. An offensive holding call ruined our chance to get a touchdown out of the turnover, but Hidalgo came through with a 27-yard field goal to extend our lead to 20-7 with 6:30 remaining in the third quarter. Another Dusty Szilter sack put the Browns in the hole quickly on their next drive, and nicely set up a three-and-out for the Browns. Following a crappy 29-yard punt by Harvey Lowe, we took over from our own 44 smelling blood in the water. Completions thrown to Matthews and Farley, along with runs by Matthews and Bergeron had soon moved us to the Browns' 4-yard line, where Matthews caught his second touchdown pass of the day with just over a minute left in the third to give us a commanding 27-7 lead. After the Matthews touchdown, I think it is fair to say that the Browns just folded up their tents and waited for the inevitable defeat to come. Joel Harden's 25-yard return of a Tyler interception for a touchdown was just icing on the cake, as we cruised the rest of the way to a 34-7 victory over the underdog Browns. As it turned out, the folks in the media had been right all along, God bless 'em, and for the third time in four years, we were the NFL champions. Key Performers: The voting for the Super Bowl MVP may have been affected by Berg's two previous MVP nods, as Dave Sanders apparently got the honors on the strength of his meaningless interception return in the fourth quarter. Berg, who only concerns himself with championships, didn't appear to mind at all as he hugged Sanders in congratulations. Sanders recorded 4 tackles and 1 assist in addition to his interception return. Berg, who was just plain robbed in my opinion, had a fabulous day, completing 22 of 38 passes for 3 TDs and no interceptions. He also ran the ball 5 times for 25 yards. Herb Matthews had a productive day on the ground, with 12 carries for 70 yards, but he truly shined as a receiver, catching 6 passes for 75 yards and 2 touchdowns on a day when our receiving corps was missing 2 of it's top playmakers. Chuck Farley had himself a fine outing, as he caught 6 passes for 62 yards and the opening touchdown of the game. He also threw several key blocks on the day. Ty Robbins caught 3 passes for 73 yards before leaving the game with an injury. Winfred Gunn had a good day running the ball for Cleveland, as he gained 82 yards and scored 1 TD on just 10 carries. However, the Browns were forced to abandon the run early, thus limiting Gunn's carries for the game. Pete Tyler didn't have his best day, completing 16 of 31 passes for 156 yards, 0 TDs, and 1 interception. Herb Farrell caught three passes for 59 yards. |
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02-19-2003, 08:51 PM
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#75 |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Chicago
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PIRATES!
PIRATES! PIRATES! Looks like you just bought yourself another season, Kodos!
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Current Games Diablo III (BattleTag: DataKing#1685) Allegiances: Chicago Bears - Detroit Red Wings - Kansas Jayhawks Awards: 2011 Golden Scribe - Other Sports Category (The Straight(away) and Narrow - A Forza Motorsport 3 Dynasty) |
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02-20-2003, 12:10 AM
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#76 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Actually, the fiscal danger starts next season. Unless I REALLY lost a lot of money this season. My preseason projection says next year is the year that I will run out of money...
Still, nice to win the Big Game. Even if it might just be for the last time. |
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02-20-2003, 09:59 AM
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#77 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Seattle WA
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Wahoooooooo. Go Pirates!
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Check out an undrafted free agent's attempt to make the Hall of Fame: Running to the Hall Now nominated for a Golden Scribe! |
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02-20-2003, 07:06 PM
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#78 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Following our Super Bowl triumph over the Browns, the flood of endorsement opportunities started rushing in. Berg got to do an Isotoner gloves spot with Dan Marino, while Chuck Farley ended up doing a Valentine's day spot for FTD, as well as an ad for a well-known deodorant ("Anything less would be uncivilized!"). Herb Matthews unfortunately opted to go ahead and do a commercial for Imodium that focused on his "frequent long runs," which made me wonder if I should just offer him a huge signing bonus when working on his contract offer in the offseason in the hope of preventing such ugliness in the future. Nevertheless, I must admit that I became somewhat excited when my secretary, Mrs. Peller, buzzed me one morning with a call concerning an endorsement opportunity for yours truly.
"Who is it?" I asked, trying not to sound that excited. "Some Jim Gindin guy." "Who?" "Some guy named Gindin." "Huh... Never heard of him. Oh well, he must be from an advertising firm or something. Send it through." I picked up the receiver and said hello. "Mr. Kodos? Hi. My name is Jim Gindin." "Hello, Mr. Gindin. What can I do for you?" "Please, call me Jim." "Okay Jim. What can I do for you?" "You've probably never heard of me, but over the past 20 plus years, I've worked on a line of videogames including several football titles, as well as games in the basketball, baseball, soccer and curling genres. For the most part, I've worked on my own, but I have collaborated with developers such as EA Sports occasionally as well..." "Are you telling me that you've worked on Madden?!?" I exclaimed, unable to hide my excitement any longer. "Holy crap! You want to put me in Madden 2018?!? As what - a GM? Ohhhhhhhh, wait... I get it! You want to use me on one of those alien teams! I'd love to do that! You know, I won my first online Madden league back in 2003." After a momentary pause, Mr. Gindin said "Uh, Mr. Kodos, I hate to disappoint you, but I'm not calling about Madden." A bit bewildered, I replied: "I'm a little confused here. You said you've done football games, and that you've worked with EA Sports in the past. What other football game does EA have?" "Mr. Kodos, the game I'm working on is an alien invasion simulation." "An alien invasion sim, eh?... Interesting... Would I be one of the invaders?" "Perhaps that could be arranged, if you'd like. Mostly, what I'm proposing is a commercial where you would be seen at the end saying 'If it's in the game, I'm in the game.' You know... To play off of EA Sports' slogan." Another pause. "I see. Does it have good graphics?" "Ummm ... not exactly. It's a text sim. It's got some sharp-looking databases though." "A TEXT SIM?!? For the love of God, man!... Nobody but geeks play text sims!" I yelled into the receiver before I slammed it back down into the cradle. "A freakin' text sim. Now I've heard it all."  Last edited by Kodos : 02-21-2003 at 12:20 AM. |
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02-20-2003, 10:56 PM
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#79 |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Chicago
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ROFLMAO!!!
Classic stuff Kodos. Absolutely priceless.
__________________
Current Games Diablo III (BattleTag: DataKing#1685) Allegiances: Chicago Bears - Detroit Red Wings - Kansas Jayhawks Awards: 2011 Golden Scribe - Other Sports Category (The Straight(away) and Narrow - A Forza Motorsport 3 Dynasty) |
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02-21-2003, 12:14 AM
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#80 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Glad you liked it, DK! |
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02-21-2003, 11:16 AM
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#81 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Oh no! I've lost a star! I must have made an enemy somehow!
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02-21-2003, 11:42 AM
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#82 |
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Mascot
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Rural Western NY
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Rally time. Get Kodos his star back. Maybe BG had to sell it.
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02-21-2003, 12:08 PM
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#83 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I think it's a plot by Jerry Jones himself! He must have offered Michael Irvin some crack if he'd agree to only give me one star!
In fact, he probably made that offer to the whole team! |
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02-21-2003, 06:55 PM
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#84 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2016 Individual Statistics
QBs Berg had himself another excellent season behind center, as he was tops in the league in touchdown passes with 33, and he finished sixth in passing yards. Leonard Coffey of the Chargers finished first with 4,280 yards. As an interesting side note, former Silicon Pirate Dexter McNeil finished the season with 296 completions in 462 attempts, for 3,531 yards, 17 TDs, and 8 Interceptions. Not a bad year at all for McNeil, who was selected as the 2nd Team QB.
RBs Herb Matthews, who finished with just 497 rushing yards in 2015, had himself a solid season moving the ball on the ground, gaining 815 yards on 144 carries. His average yards per carry rose to an impressive 5.6 from just 4.1 a year ago. Berg, for his part, cracked the 400-yard mark to finish the year as our second most prolific rusher. Rookie RB Lonnie Ruiter, on very limited carries, averaged an eye-popping 8.6 yards per carry. If Ruiter can stay healthy in 2017, he may find himself with the starting job and getting a lot more carries, especially if we can't get Matthews, who will become a free agent in the offseason, to agree to a new contract for 2017. Heath Patterson can only be described as inadequate, which still makes him better than Brant Connor. You can rest assured that we will be looking for some new blood at RB in the draft.
Receivers Out of our Big Three wideouts, only Ty Robbins managed to stay healthy throughout the season, so everyone's numbers were down from 2015 except his. Chuck Farley picked up the slack, gaining 419 more receiving yards than he did last year. Farley's 7 touchdowns fell a bit short of his goal of 10, but they were still impressive for a tight end. Herb Matthews helped compensate for some of his flaws as a runner with a great year catching the ball. Artie Furman had a pretty good rookie season, but needs to improve in the offseason, especially if Earl Thornton's recovery from the rotator cuff injury goes poorly.
Defenders Second year linebacker Sam Viola led all defenders with 88 tackles en route to a fine sophomore season. Free safety Dave Sanders had a fine season as well. Al Ingram, although he is slowing down with age, is still an asset to our linebacking corps. His 1,144 career tackles is the fourth most in league history. He needs 230 more to pass Ray Cote, who finished with 1,373. If old Al can hang around long enough, he just might get there.
Pass Defenders Dave Sanders led the defense with 4 interceptions, while Joel Harden had none in the regular season. With Mike Eagle unlikely to return as a free agent, we will be looking for help for our secondary in the draft.
Sack Leaders Despite the lack of a true star on the defensive line, the unit worked well together to combine for 45 sacks, which tied them for 9th best in the league.
Last edited by Kodos : 02-21-2003 at 07:05 PM. |
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02-21-2003, 07:08 PM
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#85 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Player Awards for 2016
Berg won the NFL MVP, Offensive Player of the Year, and 1st Team QB awards for his efforts, even though he was robbed of his third Super Bowl MVP Award, which went to free safety Dave Sanders. To the delight of his devoted followers, Chuck U got 1st Team honors at tight end. Herb Matthews earned second team recognition as a runner, which will only increase his contract demands I’m sure... Oh, and a Cowboy or two earned awards too. I forget their names...
Last edited by Kodos : 02-21-2003 at 07:09 PM. |
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02-22-2003, 04:13 PM
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#86 |
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Team Chaplain
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Just outside Des Moines, IA
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Way to go, Kodos! Farley is the man. Led the team in receptions, on his way to helping Berg win NFL MVP. Shannon Sharpe? Who dat?
__________________
Winner of 6 FOFC Scribe Awards, including 3 Gold Scribes Founder of the ZFL, 2004 Golden Scribe Dynasty of the Year Now bringing The Des Moines Dragons back to life, and the joke's on YOU, NFL! I came to the Crossroad. I took it. And that has made all the difference. |
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02-22-2003, 05:39 PM
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#87 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I knew you'd be happy! I want to get him double-digit touchdowns one of these seasons. 2017 may be my last chance...
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02-24-2003, 12:05 AM
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#88 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2016 Season Final Team Ratings:
Season Ending Power Ratings: The power ratings for both teams dropped from the end of 2016, but we won the Super Bowl, so who really gives a rat’s ass?
Team Rankings for 2016 Season: Our rushing offense ranking improved from twenty-fourth in 2015 with 1,513 yards, to first in 2016 with 2,037 yards picked up on the ground. Our passing yardage ranking dropped one spot to number two, as our passing yardage fell from 4,561 in 2015 to a still impressive 4,154 yards in 2016. Boasting the league’s number one offense in terms of total yardage, we had precious little to complain about concerning that side of the ball. San Diego finished first in passing yardage with 4,361 yards on the season. Our passing defense jumped from thirty-first in 2015 with 3,743 yards allowed, to eighteenth in 2016 with 3,270, while our fourth-ranked rush defense from 2015 fell to fifteenth overall, with our defense allowing 1,704 yards on the ground in 2016.
Our defense finished a respectable ninth overall in terms of sacks in 2016, up from fifteenth in 2015. Our team interceptions ranking was twenty-first for the second straight year, as we came up with one less interception this season than we did back in 2015. Our turnover margin improved somewhat from 0 in 2015 to +2 in 2016, but there is obviously plenty of room for improvement in this category. The one category where our defense really shined in 2016 was the most important one – points allowed. The 251 points we surrendered this season was good enough for our defense to finish ranked second behind Indianapolis, who only allowed 227 points on the year. Considering that we gave up 335 points in 2015, I’d say that our defense really stepped it up this season. Offensively, we were able to put up 452 points onto the board in 2016, which was considerably more than the second-ranked Chiefs, who came close to reaching the 400 mark with 397 points scored. It is safe to say that the main difference between our failure in 2015 and our success in 2016 was the play of the defense. Our bend but don’t break philosophy really paid off in 2016, as it helped us on the way to claiming our third Lombardi trophy.
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02-24-2003, 12:31 AM
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#89 |
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College Starter
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Yatta Pirates!
Congrats Kodos! I just caught up! What's with Hidalgo, though? Is he getting old or something? Way to handle that Gindin phone call! Classic! Don't sweat that lone star you lost. It was probably one that got knocked off a Dallas helmet in the playoff game. Great stuff as usual! |
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02-24-2003, 01:02 AM
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#90 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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2016 Franchise Info:
Average Yearly Attendance Through 2015: The bad news begins as we delve into our the state of our franchise. While we did manage a minimal 1.7% increase in ticket sales in 2016, the Cowboys’ attendance jumped by over 5% in the same time period, with an average of 4,400 more fans attending their home games in 2016 in comparison to 2015. The results were definitely not what I would have hoped for at the beginning of the season. Why the fans continue to spurn us is just beyond me.
* Our first year in Gatesville ** Dallas' first year with their renovated stadium. Fan Support Through 2016: Again, looking at this chart, I have to wonder what in God’s name is going on? You’d think that it was the Cowboys who were winning all the Super Bowls.
Franchise Values Through 2016: Yet more bad news. Our value went down, their value went up.
Yearly Profits/Losses Through 2016: Apparently, hosting all of those playoff games and our increased attendance didn’t make that big of a difference in our bottom line. On the other hand, Jerry effectively wiped out 5 years of losses with just one good season. I ask you: Is there no justice?!?
Cumulative Table Of Losses Through 2016: And here’s the really bad news, not that it is particularly surprising.
* Bill Gates bought the right to rename Waco to "Gatesville" in 2006 for $6.6 billion dollars. And The Squeeze Grows Tighter Still... As my preseason calculations suggested, barring a Super Bowl victory, next season will be my last as GM of the Silicon Pirates. There is simply no way that I can avoid going over the $9.2 billion in losses line in the sand that Bill has drawn for me. Worse yet, even if we somehow do manage to win the Super Bowl next year, I will still be right back on board the same sinking ship in 2018 and 2019, as well as for most of the next decade, as profitability looks to be an utter impossibility here in Gatesville until we can get a new stadium with luxury suites… which won’t be possible until somewhere around 2027. Basically, any way you look at it, this alien’s proverbial goose is cooked.
2014 vs. 2015 vs. 2016 Financial Performances: A Closer Look The good news in 2016 was that our revenues increased by 7%, mostly on the strength of increased ticket revenue. The bad news was that most of this was wiped out by player bonuses, which soared by 23%. In a nutshell, any progress that we made was basically for nothing. I am doomed, doomed, doomed. Sometimes, I just want to pack up my things and fly back to Rigel IV…
Last edited by Kodos : 02-24-2003 at 01:18 AM. |
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02-24-2003, 01:31 AM
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#91 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Thanks for the kind words, GB. Unfortunately, it appears that I shall be joining you in the unemployment lines in early 2018. Why must all of the anti-dynasties be doomed to failure?!?
Anyhow, this will wrap it up for the Part VII of The Bill Gates Challenge. Unfortunately, as has been my pattern lately, I am going to take a break before posting Part VIII. Having an in-state girlfriend has really limited my spare time and my ability to churn these things out. However, as before, I promise to return with Part VIII in a little while. Hopefully, the break will not be nearly as long as my last one. Seeing that it will likely be the final installment, I plan to do everything I can to make it the most entertaining installment yet, with more special features and side stories than ever. I already have several ideas for things I'd like to include, and I think they will be really cool. So please be patient with pokey ol' Kodos - good things come to those who wait. If you must, go back into those bunkers and suspended animation chambers, and before you know it, I'll be back to finish this thing off. Until we meet again, take care, folks. - Kodos  |
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02-24-2003, 11:00 AM
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#92 |
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Mascot
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Austin, TX
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Ya know the worst thing about your deficit Kodos? That 6.6 billion Bill paid to rename Waco. There already is a Gatesville, TX, and it is actually closer to Dallas than Waco is. Its just up north of Denton. Has a lot fewer people though...
Lokugh |
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02-24-2003, 11:09 AM
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#93 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Lokugh: Probably the same number of people would show up for games in the original Gatesville.
Stupid Bill blaming me for his moronic idea of renaming Waco. It would have been a more appropriate name for Bill's team too... |
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02-24-2003, 11:55 AM
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#94 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Seattle WA
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You know, with some drastic cost cutting measures, you might be able to turn a profit. Just try to cut salary down to 1/2-3/4 off the cap limit, and then avoid giving anyone a bonus. Stock your team with undrafted rookies. You may not win it all, but I think fans will still come, and you could actulally begin to right the ship.
__________________
Check out an undrafted free agent's attempt to make the Hall of Fame: Running to the Hall Now nominated for a Golden Scribe! |
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02-24-2003, 12:10 PM
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#95 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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That would probably work, but I'm not going to tear apart the team that I worked so hard to build into a champion. I'd rather just get fired than live a drawn-out death with a losing team. I'll leave that to the Bengals. I'd rather go out in a blaze of glory.
Just like Jon Bon Jovi.Last edited by Kodos : 02-24-2003 at 12:10 PM. |
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02-26-2003, 10:46 AM
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#97 | |
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Strategy Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: North Carolina
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great work and a great read (as usual) Kodos!
I say go all out next year and focus on winning another title. Also gouge people with ticket prices to cover your ass financially.
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02-26-2003, 12:41 PM
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#98 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Hey, cthomer! Glad to see you back on the board. How is your recovery going?
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02-27-2003, 04:35 AM
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#99 |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Sunny South of France
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Just gave back this dynasty the 5 stars it deserved...
Incidently, whatever happened to last year's backup TE Ross Corbett who was starting to push Chuck U. for playing time ? You didn't mention him as being traded or cut, but he wasn't on the roster this year ?
__________________
Detroit Vampires (CFL) : Ve 're coming for your blood! Camargue Flamingos (WOOF): pretty in Pink |
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02-27-2003, 10:57 AM
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#100 |
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Resident Alien
Join Date: Jun 2001
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I think he might have left as a free agent. If I recall right, he wanted too much money for a backup tight end, so I let him leave.
And thanks for the star! Last edited by Kodos : 02-28-2003 at 05:48 PM. |
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