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View Poll Results: Do you use the word "gay" to describe something that bugs you?
Yes, it's a phrase I frequently use. 28 19.31%
Yes, it's a phrase I sometimes use. 36 24.83%
Yes, it's a phrase I rarely use. 19 13.10%
No, it's a phrase I never use. 62 42.76%
Voters: 145. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 10-19-2005, 11:57 AM   #51
JeeberD
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I use that phrase extremely rarely, but sometimes it's needed. The last time I used it was for this post on the CFL forum, and it was entirely warranted.
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Old 10-19-2005, 12:18 PM   #52
jeff061
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Was she hot?

She wasn't bad at all, early 20's.
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Old 10-19-2005, 12:21 PM   #53
Tom E
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It's a phrase I use alot...When you say don't be a dork, you offen guy's like Bill Gates. Where's the uproar...
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Old 10-19-2005, 12:22 PM   #54
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Originally Posted by Raiders Army
Substitute retarded for gay and I wonder how this would turn out.


Retarded is a gay word.
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Old 10-19-2005, 12:24 PM   #55
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Originally Posted by jeff061
That said, obviously I can't argue what is offensive to others. I had a lesbian teacher in high school and one of the students let the slang fly. She tore him apart, otherwise she was a very nice women with a long fuse.

meh
I inadvertently used it in a conversation with a gay co-worker once. We didn't really know each other very well, so when I said it there was a brief "uh oh, what did I do here" moment. But he shrugged it off and we had a good laugh about it. I think there are a lot of situations where people are looking for an excuse to get offended, if that makes sense.
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Old 10-19-2005, 12:24 PM   #56
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I don't suppose it would be okay for me to start calling the things that bug me black or asian or arab or jewish... If someting bugs you say that it bugs you, don't revert to some high school insult that is both ignorant and over used.

/steps down from soap box.

I know what I said above sounds preachy and what not... but it's true. No one would find it acceptable if I went around using the word black or african-american as in insult, so why it okay for people to use the word gay?

/steps down from the soap box below the orginal soap box
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Old 10-19-2005, 12:33 PM   #57
Dutch
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But he shrugged it off and we had a good laugh about it.

What a novel idea!
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Old 10-19-2005, 12:38 PM   #58
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This thread is starting to take its turn...
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Old 10-19-2005, 12:50 PM   #59
Karlifornia
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This is something that my friends and I would say all the time back when we were, oh, 12. I let fly with a "that is gay" every once in a while, but whenever I say it I am describing something that is actually gay.

Like Dashboard Confessional.
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Old 10-19-2005, 02:35 PM   #60
kingnebwsu
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Originally Posted by Raiders Army
Substitute retarded for gay and I wonder how this would turn out.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Subby
So what's worse? Saying "that's so retarded" or "that's so gay"?

Actually, saying "retarded" was something I was gonna bunch in with this thread, but I decided against it. If this one turns out okay, I think I'll pose the same question with "retarded" substituted in. I honestly hear people use "gay" more often than "retarded," but super-intelligent people like Conan O' Brien say "retarded" on an almost nightly basis (which goes to show you that smart people can say not-so-smart things).

I never thought this thread would reach 2 pages without people degrading themselves to being complete jackasses I'll try and stay out of everyone's way and let you guys discuss.

Oh yeah, and I heard some random guy my dad was playing squash with say "little feet like a Japanese woman" the other night. I was about floored, but then I remembered that's how a lot of people think/talk in the world.

It's weird, because I swear up&down like it's no big deal, but I'll never use racial slurs or even "gay" or "retarded". It's weird because I don't think of myself as PC, but with stuff like this I walk a very straight line. Wonder if that makes any sense...
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Old 10-19-2005, 03:10 PM   #61
sabotai
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I use it frequently, and I make no apology for it. I also use the phrase "that's so retarded" frequently, and I make no apology for it. I also use many words and phrases that others find offensive and make no apologies for them.

What I don't do is use them in public and around people who might find them offensive. I don't walk around in the mall with friends and see something and yell "Look at that! That's so gay!!". I don't sit in the waiting room for my doctor or dentist and say "I can't beleive how long they make us wait. It's so retarded.". I don't walk up to a random black employee of a store and say "What up my nigger, can I get tha 4-1-1 on this bling-bling?"

As for here, only once have I gotten a PM asking me not to say something because it offended them when I did. I haven't used that phrase since. It was a pretty bad phrase that I don't think I've seen anyone else here use before or since so I make a conscious effort not to use it (which is easy since it's not something I say or type oftan)..

But, just for the simple fact that I use these words and phrases with friends who also use them and have no problem with them makes me a horrible person and just the fact that you know I use the words highly offends you...whatever. You think I need to grow up, I think your view on the topic is incredibly childish. I'll atleast agree to disagree.

Also, it's interesting how people keep bringing up the word "lame". Did you know it didn't always mean what it means now? Guess how it got that way. The same is probably true for most of the words people use instead of "uncool" (and some of them were probably thought of as offensive at some point too)
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Old 10-19-2005, 03:22 PM   #62
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sabotai, I find your post Smurfy.
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Old 10-19-2005, 03:23 PM   #63
sabotai
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sabotai, I find your post Smurfy.

Hmm. I don't know if you Smurf with me or not. So I'm just going to say Smurfin' A, and a nice Smurf you as well. I think I covered all of my Smurfs.
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Old 10-19-2005, 03:29 PM   #64
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Originally Posted by RadioFriendlyUnitShifter
This is something that my friends and I would say all the time back when we were, oh, 12. I let fly with a "that is gay" every once in a while, but whenever I say it I am describing something that is actually gay.

Like Dashboard Confessional.


When I was 12, gay meant happy and I would only hear this word used a lot in songs from the 60's and 70's. It is strange how this word got a negative connotation and the same thing for rainbows. I remember making rainbows with a leprechaun at the end when I was about 6 or 7 and now rainbows are looked upon with derision. To top it off, my favorite color has always been purple.

With that said, I don't ever use the phrase because of how the word is used. That goes with another term that I see a lot on this board which is faggotty. They are both foul remarks and I am surprised that people don't understand it, because the words are being linked to things that you find stupid or disapprove of.
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Old 10-19-2005, 04:19 PM   #65
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True enough. But what if I just started using "jew" as a synonym for stupid? Wouldn't that be offensive? How is this different?


Yea, I've already heard that used to describe something stupid numerous times around me.
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Old 10-19-2005, 04:54 PM   #66
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She wasn't bad at all, early 20's.
Is this where someone says pics plz k thx?
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Old 10-19-2005, 05:08 PM   #67
illinifan999
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sabotai
I use it frequently, and I make no apology for it. I also use the phrase "that's so retarded" frequently, and I make no apology for it. I also use many words and phrases that others find offensive and make no apologies for them.

What I don't do is use them in public and around people who might find them offensive. I don't walk around in the mall with friends and see something and yell "Look at that! That's so gay!!". I don't sit in the waiting room for my doctor or dentist and say "I can't beleive how long they make us wait. It's so retarded.". I don't walk up to a random black employee of a store and say "What up my nigger, can I get tha 4-1-1 on this bling-bling?"

As for here, only once have I gotten a PM asking me not to say something because it offended them when I did. I haven't used that phrase since. It was a pretty bad phrase that I don't think I've seen anyone else here use before or since so I make a conscious effort not to use it (which is easy since it's not something I say or type oftan)..

But, just for the simple fact that I use these words and phrases with friends who also use them and have no problem with them makes me a horrible person and just the fact that you know I use the words highly offends you...whatever. You think I need to grow up, I think your view on the topic is incredibly childish. I'll atleast agree to disagree.

Also, it's interesting how people keep bringing up the word "lame". Did you know it didn't always mean what it means now? Guess how it got that way. The same is probably true for most of the words people use instead of "uncool" (and some of them were probably thought of as offensive at some point too)

sums up my feelings, I'm curious if the people who find childish/horrible use words like bitch, fuck, shit, asshole, jackass, etc.
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Old 10-19-2005, 05:22 PM   #68
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Originally Posted by illinifan999
sums up my feelings, I'm curious if the people who find childish/horrible use words like bitch, fuck, shit, asshole, jackass, etc.

I use those words. The reason I don't say something is "gay" is because to me it is bigotry. It'd be like saying something is "a bunch of nigger bullshit" or etc. It's completely different from saying fuck.
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Old 10-19-2005, 05:25 PM   #69
illinifan999
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Originally Posted by timmynausea
I use those words. The reason I don't say something is "gay" is because to me it is bigotry. It'd be like saying something is "a bunch of nigger bullshit" or etc. It's completely different from saying fuck.
Not really, the term at least in my age bracket has replaced stupid. When describing a gay person he's either a homosexual or a fag not gay. Either way many people are offended by the usage of the f word and you are a horrible, childish person for using it. And the term gay is bigotry, what makes the term bitch not sexist? Call a girl a bitch and bad things happen.
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Old 10-19-2005, 05:28 PM   #70
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Originally Posted by illinifan999
When describing a gay person he's either a homosexual or a fag not gay.

Okay this part just confused me.
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Old 10-19-2005, 05:29 PM   #71
illinifan999
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Okay this part just confused me.

Just that people around me don't describe a homosexual as gay. Gay has replaced stupid or dumb. Pretty much how happy gay became homosexual gay.
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Old 10-19-2005, 05:41 PM   #72
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Originally Posted by timmynausea
I use those words. The reason I don't say something is "gay" is because to me it is bigotry.

bigot: One who is strongly partial to one's own group, religion, race, or politics and is intolerant of those who differ. (dictionary.com)

To me, a bigot is based off of beliefs. You can get a clue to those beliefs when using certain words in context (the biggest bigots are usually much more straightforward, though), but to me, when someone says "That's gay" or "That's retarded", they are just using slang. You may not not like the slang word, and that's fine. But to make a blanket statement that a person is a bigot for using that slang word is a bit strong.

And I'll point out that the person who turned me on to using the phrase as much as I do was a lesbian I was friends with in college. She used it all the time (and obviously had no problem with me using it). But I can't say the some for "that's retarded". I didn't get that from a retarded person.
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Old 10-19-2005, 05:59 PM   #73
timmynausea
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Originally Posted by QuikSand
It is a patently offensive and bigoted thing to say 100% of the time, and it's a shame that many otherwise sensible people are somehow unable or unwilling to see that.

Quik already said everything I really have to say about it, so I'll just quote this again and leave it at that.
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Old 10-19-2005, 06:23 PM   #74
sabotai
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And QS is 100% wrong on this. Calling someone such a strong word as bigot because you don't like the slang they use is the very definition of intolerance, and it's a shame that otherwise sensible people are unable or unwilling to see that.
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Old 10-19-2005, 06:39 PM   #75
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Well, kingnebwsu,

Did you get what you came for yet?
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Old 10-19-2005, 06:42 PM   #76
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Originally Posted by sabotai
And QS is 100% wrong on this. Calling someone such a strong word as bigot because you don't like the slang they use is the very definition of intolerance, and it's a shame that otherwise sensible people are unable or unwilling to see that.

does not compute
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Old 10-19-2005, 06:58 PM   #77
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Do some people who use the term mean it in a bigoted way? Absolutely.

Do some people use it completely free of malicious intent? Absolutely.

I find myself using it occasionally, and in my mind is synonym for "lame" or "corny."

Now I don't feel great about using it, but i don't think it's necesarily wrong... it boils down to intent. Helping blur things for me personally is the fact that I have a few gay friends who use the term in the same way. One of them is such a guy's guy that anyone and everyone would always be really surprised to find out his sexual orientation. One of the reasons most people wouldn't know is that he is pretty critical of things that are "gay" in the main-stream way (overly fashionable young men, talking with the "gay voice," etc.. ).

:shrug:
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Old 10-19-2005, 07:09 PM   #78
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Not to blur things even more, but I think some of what you believe about homosexuality plays a part as well. For instance, I believe it is a choice, not something that you are "born" with. In that respect, I think there is an obvious difference between being born with something (like race or some other type of handicap) and something that you choose to do.

I suppose the same thing could be said about obese people...although that could actually be a glandular problem in some aspects. I think that that is a closer analogy to homosexuality, as some people are "meant" to be that way and others (probably the majority) choose to be that way. My two cents.
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Old 10-19-2005, 07:21 PM   #79
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Originally Posted by illinifan999
Not really, the term at least in my age bracket has replaced stupid. When describing a gay person he's either a homosexual or a fag not gay.

Huh? What "age bracket" is this? And are you really saying "fag" is a preferred term?
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Old 10-19-2005, 07:46 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by Raiders Army
Not to blur things even more, but I think some of what you believe about homosexuality plays a part as well. For instance, I believe it is a choice, not something that you are "born" with. In that respect, I think there is an obvious difference between being born with something (like race or some other type of handicap) and something that you choose to do.

I don't imagine that will blur things too much, seems as how it's not even remotely on topic.

but I'm glad you were able to find another thread to add this to. Do you have this saved somewhere and just copy and paste wherever you think you might be able to fit it in?
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Old 10-19-2005, 07:55 PM   #81
Mac Howard
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My ten year old daughter uses it all the time despite my efforts (or maybe because of ) to stop her. A pity because the Australian term "dag" or "daggie" with it's association with a sheep's backside is much more appropriate
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Old 10-19-2005, 08:01 PM   #82
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Huh? What "age bracket" is this? And are you really saying "fag" is a preferred term?

I believe that illinifan is 17...
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Old 10-19-2005, 08:01 PM   #83
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Originally Posted by John Galt
Huh? What "age bracket" is this? And are you really saying "fag" is a preferred term?

Fag or homo, yes. High school to college age is all I can speak for.
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Old 10-19-2005, 08:05 PM   #84
vex
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Dola

Or maybe "Ragin' Homosexual".
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Old 10-19-2005, 08:57 PM   #85
sabotai
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Originally Posted by John Galt
Huh? What "age bracket" is this? And are you really saying "fag" is a preferred term?

Not speaking for illinifan, but I don't think he was saying that it's a preferred term, just that in his age group and region, fag is associated with homosexuality, good or bad. While the word gay is not.
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Old 10-19-2005, 09:03 PM   #86
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Not speaking for illinifan, but I don't think he was saying that it's a preferred term, just that in his age group and region, fag is associated with homosexuality, good or bad. While the word gay is not.

What he said. No one in my school uses the word gay to describe a homosexual. It's either fag or homo(sexual).
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Old 10-19-2005, 09:16 PM   #87
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Originally Posted by illinifan999
Not really, the term at least in my age bracket has replaced stupid. When describing a gay person he's either a homosexual or a fag not gay.

Does anyone else find anything wrong with this? I go back to what I said before... "society" would never let the word black or jew replace the word stupid because we know that's wrong. But if it's gay... so what...
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Old 10-19-2005, 09:30 PM   #88
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Originally Posted by illinifan999
What he said. No one in my school uses the word gay to describe a homosexual. It's either fag or homo(sexual).

Is that a good thing?
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Old 10-19-2005, 09:34 PM   #89
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I find it offensive, despite many not seeing it as not referncing homosexuals, because, being a derogatory term, you can't help but feel that:

1) it was originally chosen for homophobic reasons
2) it's popularity is partly due to its appeal to homophobes and denied or clandestine homophobia
3) it allows some to express homophobic sentiments without appearing to be homophobic

The mutation of the word "gay" from happy to homosexual to stupid would make a good PhD subect.
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Old 10-19-2005, 09:58 PM   #90
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Originally Posted by Mac Howard
I find it offensive, despite many not seeing it as not referncing homosexuals, because, being a derogatory term, you can't help but feel that:

1) it was originally chosen for homophobic reasons
2) it's popularity is partly due to its appeal to homophobes and denied or clandestine homophobia
3) it allows some to express homophobic sentiments without appearing to be homophobic

The mutation of the word "gay" from happy to homosexual to stupid would make a good PhD subect.

So you have to hate gay people to say "that's gay"? Give me a break.
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Old 10-19-2005, 10:00 PM   #91
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So you have to hate gay people to say "that's gay"? Give me a break.

I agree. Like I said before, I use that term on very rare occasions, but I do use it. And I have a cousin who is gay, an aunt who is gay, and a future bro-in-law who is gay...and I love them no matter what.
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Old 10-19-2005, 10:12 PM   #92
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Originally Posted by JeeberD
I agree. Like I said before, I use that term on very rare occasions, but I do use it. And I have a cousin who is gay, an aunt who is gay, and a future bro-in-law who is gay...and I love them no matter what.

I mean no disrespect, but it took me a few seconds to understand the gay brother-in-law (since all my in laws are the spouses of my brothers/sisters).
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Old 10-19-2005, 10:15 PM   #93
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LOL!

Yeah, my lovely lady's brother is gay. I'm not going to marry a guy...and I don't think they allow that in Texas anyways...
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Old 10-19-2005, 10:16 PM   #94
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No, not everybody who uses this expression is necessarily a 'homophobe.' But everybody who uses this expression sounds like an uneducated fool.
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Old 10-19-2005, 10:21 PM   #95
illinifan999
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Originally Posted by Mac Howard
I find it offensive, despite many not seeing it as not referncing homosexuals, because, being a derogatory term, you can't help but feel that:

1) it was originally chosen for homophobic reasons
2) it's popularity is partly due to its appeal to homophobes and denied or clandestine homophobia
3) it allows some to express homophobic sentiments without appearing to be homophobic

The mutation of the word "gay" from happy to homosexual to stupid would make a good PhD subect.

Do you use the word bitch ever?
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Old 10-19-2005, 10:59 PM   #96
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Originally Posted by st.cronin
No, not everybody who uses this expression is necessarily a 'homophobe.' But everybody who uses this expression sounds like an uneducated fool.

Now that I can accept.

See, I get to say "That's gay" and you get to say I'm an uneducated fool. I think that's a fair trade off.
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Old 10-19-2005, 11:04 PM   #97
st.cronin
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: New Mexico
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dutch
Now that I can accept.

See, I get to say "That's gay" and you get to say I'm an uneducated fool. I think that's a fair trade off.

It was a pleasure doing business with you, sir.
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Old 10-19-2005, 11:22 PM   #98
Dutch
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Originally Posted by st.cronin
It was a pleasure doing business with you, sir.

Glad it's over with, it was quite gay.
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Old 10-19-2005, 11:25 PM   #99
st.cronin
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Originally Posted by Dutch
Glad it's over with, it was quite gay.

You sound like an uneducated fool.
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Old 10-19-2005, 11:28 PM   #100
Crapshoot
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Aha Dutch - the "intellect" (or lack thereof) who thinks homosexuality is a pre-cursor to bestiality. I suppose you have no problem with the n-word then ?

Last edited by Crapshoot : 10-19-2005 at 11:31 PM.
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