Merry Christmas, Unhappy New Year (prayers needed thread)

[BYU 14]

Great news WP, glad to hear things are looking up.

[Chief Rum]

Great news, Wolfpack. Obviously, you and your parents and your family are still dealing with the ramifications, but getting more time with your parents is a gift.

[sterlingice]

Great news!

SI

[JonInMiddleGA]

[Wolfpack]

It's been a long time since I updated this thread. In the intervening years, my mom battled back a couple more times against recurrences of the lymphoma that almost killed her at the end of 2011. She had another recurrence in December of last year, but this time, she went into a research trial that had a chance of perhaps curing her of something that was once considered incurable. We'll never know the answer to that question unfortunately. The chemo had been effective, but just before the last round was due to be administered, an infection struck that hospitalized her for a week. She was too weak between the infection and the chemo to survive it and died on Tuesday. I've been pretty calm about it so far, but I know that's a certain detachment speaking as we've kind of been preparing for this day for almost five years now, ever since we almost lost her the first time.

I know the true weight of this will settle on me when we go through the funeral and burial process next week, if only because I know this will be an especially hard time on my father, who never really recovered from the stroke that crippled him, which ironically is what lead to the discover of the lymphoma that almost killed Mom. He's aware and understands that my mom has passed, but he now has to find a way to carry on alone after having cared for somebody, and most of the time several somebodies, almost continuously for 49 years. Even in the depths of his health problems these past few years, his first and foremost concern was always for Mom. There has been more than one occassion where, if Mom was staying overnight at the hospital or was otherwise not in the room with him for an extended period of time, he'd attempt to escape the nursing home to try to find her (not very successfully as he's wheelchair bound and doesn't have the strength to go very far). Now that motivation and devotion is gone and all that's left is him, trapped in a decaying body with a brain that's mildly damaged from a stroke that prevents him from effectively communicating with everyone around him for consistent periods of time. I'd like to think he will carry on, but I know it will be tough on him. He won't be alone because he still has us kids and the grandchildren, but we can't be there on a day to day basis for him and it's those times that will prove the most challenging for him to find his own way.

I will see my Mom buried next week and I will grieve for the lost chances to be with her in the future, that my own youngest daughter will never really remember her, that my older daughters really mostly remember her in poor health for most of their lives rather than as the strong woman she was in our lives, and for my wife who lost her own mother at a young age and thus let my mom occupy that spot honorarily for herself and now no longer has a maternal figure to talk to. But mostly I'll grieve for my dad who has lost something none of the rest of us will understand unless we experience it ourselves, the loss of someone who you love more than yourself.

Rest in peace, Mom.

[Kodos]

Nothing I can think of to write seems worthwhile. May your Mom rest in peace, and may you find comfort in memories as time goes by. Sorry for your loss, Wolfpack.

[MIJB#19]

That's rough, Wolfpack. Right now, I have nothing more I can do than offering my condolences to you and your loved ones.

[EagleFan]

Sorry for your loss.

[Flasch186]

Sorry for your loss man.

[Arles]

Sorry for your loss.

[Sweed]

Sorry, condolences to you and your family.

[BYU 14]

Sorry for you loss and condolences to you and your family Wolfpack.

[B & B]

wolfpack, hits home buddy.

your post today was so well thought out and expressed that it makes me understand while I'm a still infrequent FOFC regular.

truly inspiring under dire circumstances

With parents, grandparents and other relatives with extending periods of time in assisted living, Id say your father wont last the year. Make the most of the time with him. Say everything you wanted or needed to and have no regrets.

[Edward64]

Condolences.

[PilotMan]

I don't have any words that seem appropriate for you. I'm terribly sorry for your loss. Your words are filled with emotion that conveys your feelings well. I get a great feeling of love of your family from your descriptions. That's no consolation to your loss, but you've been blessed with great people around you. That life lasting impact on you and your kids will be felt the rest of your lives.