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08-31-2005, 02:39 PM
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#51 | |||
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Quote:
Good God...do you have a professional secretary to schedule your masturbation sessions, or do you and your wife share a silent acknowledgment, perhaps a nod or a particular look, that lets her know you're heading to Palm Island and will be on the 7:45pm flight back home?
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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08-31-2005, 02:39 PM
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#52 | |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2001
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Quote:
you made me lol
__________________
"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales |
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08-31-2005, 02:40 PM
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#53 |
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Is that one dude in his mid-20's AND going for the forward comb-over look? I didn't think that was possible.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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08-31-2005, 02:40 PM
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#54 |
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Banned
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Astoria, NY, USA
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well played Ksyrup.
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08-31-2005, 02:48 PM
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#55 | |
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College Prospect
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Baltimore, MD
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Quote:
I see unattractive girls every day, but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with any of them. If I go out and see a group of unattractive girls, I don't say "I'd bang her because she is the best of the ugly". |
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08-31-2005, 02:48 PM
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#56 | |
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College Prospect
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Inland Empire, PRC
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Quote:
or franklinnoble or cringer or antmeisterXX or passcaglia (spelling atrocious) or ...   |
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08-31-2005, 02:54 PM
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#57 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Troy, Mo
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Quote:
I only did this back in my military days after the bars would close. |
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08-31-2005, 02:55 PM
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#58 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Troy, Mo
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Quote:
Now this is masterpiece of a post. Nice... |
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08-31-2005, 03:00 PM
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#59 |
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Go Reds
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio
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What about sex that starts/forces a relationship?
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08-31-2005, 03:05 PM
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#60 |
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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You make damn near 12,500 posts, you're bound to hit on a gem every once in a blue moon.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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08-31-2005, 03:23 PM
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#61 | |
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Dark Cloud
Join Date: Apr 2001
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Quote:
__________________
Current Dynasty:The Zenith of Professional Basketball Careers (FBPB/FBCB) FBCB / FPB3 Mods |
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08-31-2005, 03:47 PM
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#62 | |
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Grey Dog Software
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Phoenix, AZ by way of Belleville, IL
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Quote:
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08-31-2005, 03:53 PM
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#63 |
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Rider Of Rohan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep
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That ain't cute.
__________________
It's not the years...it's the mileage. |
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08-31-2005, 03:54 PM
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#64 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
The one that came to mind first was pretty blunt about it "well, do you think we could we at least ...". Unlike what someone alluded to earlier though, that was not par for her course at all, exponentially more straightforward than she typically was. At the risk of bad punning, I guess she decided if we were done we might as well go out with a bang. And, at the risk of bordering on a tacky amount of details, she pretty much abandoned any & all inhibitions she might have previously had. In the second case that I sort of added to my earlier post, it was a relationship that was basically born from sex that had added other stuff along the way, so I guess it wasn't all that surprising that there was "one more for the road" at the end, since that's pretty much how things started. Best ... rug-in-front-of-fireplace-sex ... ever.
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
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08-31-2005, 03:58 PM
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#65 | |
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Rider Of Rohan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep
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Quote:
__________________
It's not the years...it's the mileage. |
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08-31-2005, 04:04 PM
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#66 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
{hangs head} {which means you can't see the shit-eating grin on my face nearly as well}
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
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08-31-2005, 04:05 PM
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#67 | |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue
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Quote:
lol....I wonder what the "F" stands for? |
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08-31-2005, 04:05 PM
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#68 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
Flygirl?
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis |
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08-31-2005, 04:06 PM
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#69 | |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue
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Quote:
Is this slang or was there an actual rug? Last edited by Antmeister : 08-31-2005 at 04:07 PM. |
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08-31-2005, 04:18 PM
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#70 | |
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Rider Of Rohan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep
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Quote:
__________________
It's not the years...it's the mileage. |
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08-31-2005, 04:20 PM
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#71 | |
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General Manager
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Satellite of Love
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Quote:
shit-eating grin.....I can't imagine anyone grinning while they're eating shit...that's just nasty. |
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08-31-2005, 04:21 PM
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#72 | |
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Pro Rookie
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Sunny South of France
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Quote:
Female? I mean, there is some doubt, isn't there...
__________________
Detroit Vampires (CFL) : Ve 're coming for your blood! Camargue Flamingos (WOOF): pretty in Pink |
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08-31-2005, 04:26 PM
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#73 |
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Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: MA
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I don't get it, what does breakup sex have to do with this situation? Do you mean like a solo sex session with some sort of wierd spiritual breaking up without her ever realizing you were together? Maybe I skipped over the link somewhere.
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08-31-2005, 04:29 PM
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#74 |
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Captain Obvious
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Norman, Oklahoma
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I brokeup with a chick one, we had breakup sex for 3 months after the relationship had ended
__________________
Thread Killer extraordinaire Yay! its football season once again! |
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08-31-2005, 04:34 PM
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#75 |
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College Starter
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Federal Way, WA
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At the end of my last relationship I was offered breakup sex. I didn't like the idea as a person who felt the good things in the relationship were gone and it was time to move on; her phrasing was "One last time while things still feel this way for me." So the sex felt special to her or whatever because of the relationship, and she wanted one last memory of that. Considering we, or at least I, were ending the relationship at the time, lingering on the past via sex didn't seem like a good idea.
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08-31-2005, 04:39 PM
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#76 | |
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Rider Of Rohan
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep
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Quote:
*Like I'd ever do that, either... :o
__________________
It's not the years...it's the mileage. |
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08-31-2005, 04:48 PM
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#77 | |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: At the corner of Beat Street and Electric Avenue
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Quote:
HA always has the most complicated sexual fantasies I have ever read. This is what he attempting to accomplish. He wants to pretend in his mind that he went out with this girl, with the protruding nipple above, and beleive that she is somehow freaky in bed. In his mind, he then wants to break up with her because he has found affection for a sandwich (or maybe it was a sub). After that he will proceed to do the solo act to the thought of having breakup sex with this girl. The reason why he posted here is so that he could come up with a written screenplay that he can go over in his mind before he proceeds to the solo act. HA likes layered fantasies. He could never just go to the act. He has to have a freaking backstory, cast, and screenplay. |
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08-31-2005, 05:26 PM
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#78 | |
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Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA
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Quote:
In this case, there really was a rug. Not a cliched bearskin rug, but a rug nonetheless.
__________________
"I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis Last edited by JonInMiddleGA : 08-31-2005 at 05:26 PM. |
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08-31-2005, 05:43 PM
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#79 |
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Banned
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: w/Franklin
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I may be going out on a limb here but wouldnt this whole thread make more sense titled "One night stand fantasies?"Or maybe :Voyeuristic questions about other peoles break up sex experiences?"..Because as I think it was jeff that pointed out the whole idea of break up sex infers that at some point there was an on going relationship that was being broken off ....
Maybe this girl is about to be fired or is leaving her job for another reason and its the working relationship thats being broke up?.... |
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08-31-2005, 07:13 PM
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#80 | |
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This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Quote:
Hence my comment at the top of the page.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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08-31-2005, 07:21 PM
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#81 | |
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Red-Headed Vixen
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Phoenix, AZ
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Quote:
I wonder if they have dialogue or if he does different voices in his head for the different people involved. |
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08-31-2005, 07:32 PM
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#82 | |
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College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Quote:
Smart move, TC. I've known a couple of unstable women (note that this is not a generalization) that have tried to use (only one successfully) break-up sex as a way to keep their man around and keep the relationship from ending. And no, it's not what you think (that she tries to make the sex so good that you'll stay). Their reasoning was that they hoped that they would get pregnant so the man wouldn't leave for the sake of the baby. In essence, they knew that the breakup was coming and conveniently stopped taking their birth control pill. They lied and said they were still on it and bammo! Child support payments! I did note that neither of these women who did this were very stable human beings in the first place. Just make sure you rap it up. Be thee warned . . . |
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08-31-2005, 08:10 PM
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#83 | |
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Roster Filler
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Cicero
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Quote:
Why not? Its not like a woman's looks really enhance the sexual experience.
__________________
http://www.nateandellie.net Now featuring twice the babies for the same low price! |
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08-31-2005, 08:53 PM
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#84 | |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Conyers GA
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Quote:
Say what?? |
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08-31-2005, 10:53 PM
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#85 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sydney, Australia
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I had "breakup sex" once, late last year. Me and a girl had been seeing each other for a short period of time, 3 or 4 weeks, and one day we had a few drinks and then started having one of THOSE talks where all of a sudden both of you realise that this just isn't going to work out. We hadn't actually said it was over, but we both knew it. Anyhow, we were both pretty bummed about it, sitting in my room, when it just sort of happened. Neither of us really initiated it, and no one said any thing really, but we had probably the best sex I've ever had. Afterward she left and that was that. I couldn't ever possibly imagine myself ever asking for it, however.
__________________
Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. --Ambrose Bierce |
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08-31-2005, 11:44 PM
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#86 | |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Amarillo, TX
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Quote:
::shrug:: Who says Samdari ever has to do the work? Maybe his women just strap it on... |
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08-31-2005, 11:50 PM
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#87 |
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Pro Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Iowa City, IA
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It's threads like this one that make FOFC so great. HA, I salute you!
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09-01-2005, 12:25 AM
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#88 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: North Carolina
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OK, here's my breakup sex story.
WARNING: This post may include graphic depictions of sexual activity. I'm not sure, I haven't written it yet. But probably it will. So a few years ago I was at school and trying made friends with these two girls (A & B) and their friends, mostly because I wanted bang A. A & B were roommates. Well, A ended up leaving school shortly thereafter. I"d still hang out with B occassionally because she lived 2 floors above me and I often had nothing better to do when I was drinking. I knew she had a crush on me, and she was a good enough looking girl, so one night I figures, I figures "why not?" and put the moves on her. Fast forward to a few months later, school is letting out. I've been ending up back in her room most nights that I've been drinking--which is most nights. I was hoping not to see her before she left, because I was planning on not talking to her again, but I just happened to be standing outside the building smoking a cigarette when she was leaving. She sat down beside me and we talked for a few minutes. She was holding a rose and I just kept thinking "Oh god please don't give that to me." Anyway, she gives me her number, I tell her I would give her mine but I wasn't sure where I was gonna be over the summer. Which was partially true. She leaves and when I get up to go back in I notice that the rose is sitting on the bench beside me. Ugh. So a month or so passes and I have apparently lost her number. I was actually going to call her, just as a gesture. I was in North Carolina for the summer and didn't have internet access at the time, so one day when I w as talking to my brother on the phone I asked him to email her with my number. She didn't call me over the summer so I was thinking, "Cool, I covered my bases and didn't have to actually talk to her." Come to find out later my brother had emailed her: "Ron 'lost' your number. His number is: XXXXXXXX" and had "accidentally" sent her a wrong number. So when I get back to school in the fall I'm not thinking anything of it. Then one day I'm wakling down the sidewalk with my friend Jeremy and see her car coming down the street towards us. I give an awkward wave. A few days later I get a call from her. Fast forward again 4 months and we've been drunkenly screwing most every day. Several times over this span she has tried to corner me into "defining the relationship" or something like that and I've squirmed out of it. Once she solemnly confessed to me that she had kissed some other guy and I was just like "What, am I supposed to be jealous?" But now she's getting ready to go back home, and I'm figuring on going back home myself, so when she mentions that she has something to talk about with me I drag it out of her because I think it might be entertaining to hear. She talks about how all her friends think she's crazy for being with me, how embarrassing it is when people ask what "we are", and asks me flat out if I just hang out with her because it's "convenient." Which was absolutely true, but because I'm such a nice guy, I lied to her. Then she asks why I hang out with her and I give her all this "I like hanging out with her, we're good friends" etc. So she curls up in the bed and starts crying, I'm pretty drunk so even though I don't care I curl up beside her and start holding her tightly. One thing leads to another. It was really awkward though, she kept whispering really lightly under her breath "Don't do this to me. I love you." (referring to the leaving her, not the um, current situation) Like she wanted me to hear it but couldn't come out and say it. I pretended I didn't hear it. This went on for a while and she sstarted throwing in "I know you hear me." Fortunately, she was whispering it low enough that I could get by pretending I didn't. Fast forward an hour later (  ) I'm getting bored and want to finish. She starts whispering under her breath "Come inside me, I know you want to." Fortunately, I had my head enough not to. She didn't leave till 2 days later, we hooked up again both of those nights. The last time I saw her she was getting up late, coming out of my building, and I was walking to Mock Trial practice with my friend Andrea. I wasn't even paying attention, but Andrea told me someone was trying to get my attention. I looked over and saw B, waved politely, quickly averted my eyes, and never saw her again. Hey, you asked.
__________________
"I'm losing my edge--to better looking people... with better ideas... and more talent. And who are actually really, really nice." "Everyone's a voyeurist--they're watching me watch them watch me right now." Last edited by ThunderingHERD : 09-01-2005 at 12:40 AM. |
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09-01-2005, 12:44 AM
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#89 |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: New York
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HA should go one step further and spatter the baby batter while fantasizing about her going fatal attraction on his ass. She doesn't look, or sound to be the sanest fantasy around...
__________________
In the immortal words of a great alcoholic, "Can't we all just get along?" |
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09-01-2005, 12:49 AM
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#90 | |
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Go Reds
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio
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Quote:
18 years 18 years And on his 18th birthday, found out it wasn't his |
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09-01-2005, 12:59 AM
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#91 |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Keene, NH
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did HA ever tell you guys about the threesome he had once?
__________________
Mile High Hockey Last edited by Draft Dodger : 09-01-2005 at 01:00 AM. |
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09-01-2005, 01:03 AM
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#92 |
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Go Reds
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio
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herd, I laughed like 5 independent times during that story. C+
I'm a tough crowd |
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09-01-2005, 01:16 AM
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#93 | |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: New York
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Quote:
__________________
In the immortal words of a great alcoholic, "Can't we all just get along?" |
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09-01-2005, 01:20 AM
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#94 | |
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College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: North Carolina
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Quote:
That would have been totally inappropriate. I'm a nice guy, after all.
__________________
"I'm losing my edge--to better looking people... with better ideas... and more talent. And who are actually really, really nice." "Everyone's a voyeurist--they're watching me watch them watch me right now." |
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09-01-2005, 08:56 AM
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#95 |
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Banned
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Astoria, NY, USA
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well, i wouldn't say i need a backstory, like i don't care to hear about anyone's hopes and dreams, i'm just concerned with realism. the more likely something is to happen, the more turned on i get by it. like if i had to choose between jacking off to a pic of Angelina Jolie and a pic of a topless chick on a beach, i'm going with the topless pic. why? more likely to happen (and has happened). so i don't do "fantasy" very well.
this reminds me of an email exchange i had with my friends yesterday, when i told them about that guy who got raped by 3 women (posted in a thread i read over here): From: Unlucky Anthony Subject: Re: Mets/Phils How fat were these women? --------------------------------------------- From: Anthony Casso (me) Subject: Re: Mets/Phils i'm thinking April fat. someone else pointed out to me that just cuz he got raped doesn't mean they didn't strap on a dildo and went to work on him. i cursed that guy for ruining such potentially good masturbatory material. --------------------------------------------- From: Keith Subject: Re: Mets/Phils Wow I didn't even think of that. I was curious how he was able to perform with a gun pointed at him with these ugly girls. - Keith --------------------------------------------- From: Anthony Casso Subject: Re: Mets/Phils i told him he was no better than the people who go around telling kids there's no Santa. way to ruin a potentially great piece of material. i was gonna go to town on myself later on today. i even had their names set up and everything. Tami, Wynona and Ashley. they even had personality querks. like Ashley's favorite drink would have been Mint Juleps and if Tami were to say something funny Wynona would be like "HA HA....boyeeee!". --------------------------------------------- From: Keith Subject: Re: Mets/Phils There's something wrong with you. - Keith --------------------------------------------- From: Kenny Subject: Re: Mets/Phils why - did you wanna be raped by the Judds, Tony? --------------------------------------------- From: Anthony Casso Subject: Re: Mets/Phils i could think of worse things. |
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