Facebook posts so pathetic they belong in this thread!!!

[ColtCrazy]

Here's one from someone I know who is in a long distance relationship.


"I just need Brad or sleeping pills, preferably him"

I get the gist of what they were trying to say, but it didn't come out that way.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by ColtCrazy

Here's one from someone I know who is in a long distance relationship.


"I just need Brad or sleeping pills, preferably him"

I get the gist of what they were trying to say, but it didn't come out that way.

Hey Brad!

[JediKooter]

Got a brother in-law who, for unknown reasons, is now obsessed with contrails. There's got to be some kind of mental disorder that makes people more susceptible to conspiracy theories.

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by Rizon

I don't even think I could ever find time to post all the messages, but I am friends with a married couple that go into epic fights on FB. I mean truly epicnasty fights which end up in separation. Even their kids and extended family get involved in the mudslinging. This happens about every 3 months.

They always get back together a week later.

I posted this Jan 31. April 9 and they're at it again. Like clockwork!

[Scoobz0202]

Take a picture and block out the names? I want to see family fight

[JediKooter]

If she would just LISTEN, there wouldn't be any fights.

[Rizon]

One of them just deleted their account, so sadly no back and forth this time.

[PilotMan]

Not really facebook, but some tweets got some attention.

Yes, Some People Confused Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes with Mike Wallace of the Pittsburgh Steelers | The Big Lead

Common name, simple mistake. Here are three seemingly real tweets from Sunday:
* Mike Wallace died? The Steelers are fucked
* This Mike Wallace death is seriously bad news for the Steelers
* RIP Mike Wallace. Maybe the Steelers shouldn’t have cut Hines Ward?

[terpkristin]

Seen today on FailBlog, reminded me of some posts here (taken to an extreme):


linky

/tk

[lungs]

Is anybody else's feed getting continually filled with people wanting you to vote for their kid in some cute-kid contest? There's some contest going locally I guess by a local photographer but all I know is my whole feed today has been like 15 different kids in the same contest followed by 10-15 comments by everybody saying OMG he/she is so cute!

It doesn't really annoy me, just found it kind of amusing. I'm at the ripe child bearing age, so it probably hits me more than others.

[Pumpy Tudors]

A woman from my bowling league just posted this on Facebook: "Isnt it awful when you hear your child retching n puking? I wish I could make him feel better. "

I'm sure that is a terrible thing for a parent, but come on. The "child" in this case is NINETEEN YEARS OLD. I really don't think it merits a fuck of a lot of sympathy when your 19-year-old son is sick. For all we know, he's probably just drunk.

[Autumn]

Did you tell her about hair of the dog?

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by Autumn

Did you tell her about hair of the dog?

because now she's messin' with a son of a bitch?

[terpkristin]

Originally Posted by Autumn

Did you tell her about hair of the dog?

That was my first thought as well, not a stomach bug but a little ETOH-infused dyspepsia?

/tk

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by Draft Dodger

because now she's messin' with a son of a bitch?

[lighthousekeeper]

[Blackadar]

Originally Posted by lighthousekeeper

I dunno. It's a tiny picture, but she may be cute. So perhaps she'll give at least one fuck?

[DanGarion]

Need better picture.

[Lathum]

looks like she has a nice rack at the very least

[sterlingice]

The fact that Neil Degrasse Tyson is a meme is one of the greater things on the internet

SI

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

The fact that Neil Degrasse Tyson is a meme is one of the greater things on the internet

SI

This.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

The fact that Neil Degrasse Tyson is a meme is one of the greater things on the internet

SI

+1

[Ksyrup]

I have no idea who that is. I thought it was some sort of reference to a terrible sitcom created by Steve Harvey.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I have no idea who that is. I thought it was some sort of reference to a terrible sitcom created by Steve Harvey.

He's an astrophysicist who appears on a lot of TV shows/documentaries/etc.

[Grover]

And he's awesome.

[sabotai]

dola,

And what the meme is about: 403 Forbidden

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Grover

And he's awesome.

And this is as well.

My favorite Neil Degrasse Tyson quote: "Facts are still facts even if you don't want to believe them". Or something similar to that.

[PilotMan]

Ugh...So indicative of the area I live in.

Happy illegal immigrate day!! If you are celebrating Cinco De Mayo, you are slapping every man and woman that risked or gave their life for our freedom. You should be ashamed of yourself!!!

[lungs]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

Ugh...So indicative of the area I live in.

The only thing that would make that post better would be railing about speaking English.. Surprised I haven't seen nothing like this in my feed today.

[stevew]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

The fact that Neil Degrasse Tyson is a meme is one of the greater things on the internet

SI

I thought it was the guy from the Office.

[mckerney]

Originally Posted by lungs

The only thing that would make that post better would be railing about speaking English.. Surprised I haven't seen nothing like this in my feed today.

I had someone on my feed complaining about people speaking English, though only in the case of people in Korea who cannot speak it trying to while trying to help customers using English.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

Ugh...So indicative of the area I live in.

Pretty funny considering Cinco de Mayo may have first been celebrated in California.

Cinco de Mayo a Mexican import? No, it's as American as July 4, prof says - CNN.com

[mauchow]

My buddy posted this picture on facebook saying with it: "I found it funny that the random ad that generated when I loaded this article had a guy that looked similar to the robber, lol"

- I just shook my head and wanted to say "O RLY"

[PilotMan]

Wait, people have ads on their facebook?! I never knew!

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

Wait, people have ads on their facebook?! I never knew!

I have that same feeling whenever people mention that ticker thingy I saw once or twice.

[Grover]

That girl I complained about a couple months back about constantly posting pictures is at it again. Ten mirror shots plastered to her wall the other day, all within 15 minutes of each other.

Here's a sampling of a typical status or two from her...

"might just go back to bed so i dont feel so alone."

"feeling invisable"

"have had one of the worst wknds ive had in a long time. nothing like feeling unwanted."

"The path i was on i didnt like so im making my own."

And that's all within the past seven days!

[EagleFan]

May her next path be one that leads to an English class...

[JonInMiddleGA]

Gak. A friend posts some stupid ass link about the cancellation of GCB by ABC. I make a brief,almost neutral, comment about how flat ratings in spite of a killer DH finale lead-in probably sealed its fate.

Was really just commented in the general direction of my friend ... didn't expect to end up in a near argument with the psycho bored ass nutjob cunt who launched some petition to get the show renewed.

I'm mostly just complaining because I can't find a link that lets me just block the f'n page.

[RomaGoth]

Originally Posted by Grover

That girl I complained about a couple months back about constantly posting pictures is at it again. Ten mirror shots plastered to her wall the other day, all within 15 minutes of each other.

Here's a sampling of a typical status or two from her...

"might just go back to bed so i dont feel so alone."

"feeling invisable"

"have had one of the worst wknds ive had in a long time. nothing like feeling unwanted."

"The path i was on i didnt like so im making my own."

And that's all within the past seven days!

Maybe someone should start a death watch fanclub on Facebook for this girl. At least she wouldn't feel "invisable" anymore.

[Grover]

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

Maybe someone should start a death watch fanclub on Facebook for this girl. At least she wouldn't feel "invisable" anymore.

Spelling lessons would be better. Her girl's name is Olivia, spelled Ollivea. Oy.

[Izulde]

Is she hot?

[k0ruptr]

Shoulda been the first reply. I am disappoint.

[mauchow]

YES!

CORY UPDATE: What a day to be a man..


Christina RESPONDS to status: What do you know about being a man ? A Man dont get his rocks off by making others feel bad sorry you have a lot more to learn before you become a man.

Cory No, you need to get a grip and chill the fuck out..

Christina Couldnt be anymore chilled at the moment and iv been the one with the grip here and i guess its just time to let you go and relise my life is my babies and there will probally never be a man for us to be able to trust and look to as a real figure in our lifes

Cory You can fuck off and get a real job bitch. Your comments don't mean shit shit. We are done and I have goals set in my life that I want to reach. Fuck you..

Christina Reach for the stars

Cory Fuck you die slow bitch!!

[Buccaneer]

Sorry for just the link but today's entry reminded me of this thread. Not sure how many are fake but it's sad to some with the moronic inability to communicate effectively in an increasingly communicative world.

http://www.oddee.com/item_98196.aspx

[mauchow]

I should have been posting the same "Cory" poems, or lyrics or whatever the hell it is he's writing for months now... here's some good ones:

Fist, tits, plastic skin.
Aggressive kisses
For a genital woman.

Black panties.
Aggressive kisses
As the mouth wares thin.

The desires is what I hide.

..............

Why don't you do it
In front of my face.
So I can watch you
Suffer a black shape.
You're not so tough with my
Gun pressed against your head.
You're no more then five.

................

Perfect words of perfection
Turns you to fire, the desire
Power by will, our minds fill
Like distant memories.

In a soft wind devotion counts
The time spent in the mist of
Attraction.
How it fills a small fantasy thin
And shameless.
Our conversation fairness begins.

Along side my steps the sounds
Of night dimly lit.
A rush of stillness, a delight for
The grain's of life creasing the Pleasures.

...........And this one was minutes before the above one.....

When I faked like you died
I should of tried.
God did it to you for a reason.
Fake like you don't know.
You're a motherfucker, eat shit
And cry with why.
I wish death, a suicide.

Fuck you and what you said.
I will fucking hate you.
We never were forever.
I'm not what you think I am.
I am the wrath in your death.

[Grover]

Quite the... poet

[Autumn]

Good thing you captured those poems before that page was taken down by the homicide team.

[mauchow]

I know he's been in jail plenty of times... to think I thought of him as my friend, sort of, in middle school into high school. Didn't take long for me to realize how batshit crazy he was in high school though.

[mauchow]

Another winner:

I through the phone against the
Wall, you're a cut wrist!
I wish I could leave you.
You're the last as anger kills.
Telling me you'll stay.

As the water runs to the floor
It lurks in the clouds and
Across the night sky.

When the roses fall.
I believe in the romantic.
The ones to fall from the lies.

Out I walk rotating one into
The chamber.
You never loved.
As I put the pillow over your
Face and then the gun.
Die slow, die on life support
You fucking bitch.

[DougW]