Is it Possible to Fudge a bank Statement? - Page 12

Galaxy · 08-04-2008, 01:01 AM

Maybe clemsonsfan can learn some romance in marriage lessons from Jimmy....

larrymcg421 · 08-04-2008, 02:18 AM

This definitely deserves a "Where are they now?" update.

Galaxy · 04-27-2009, 01:11 PM

I came across this "Dear Prudence" letter through the MSN homepage this morning. Quite a good laugh.

http://www.slate.com/id/2216714/?GT1=38001

Dream Lover
I cheated on my wife while sleepwalking. What do I do now?

Dear Prudence:
I did something recently that concerns me on many levels. I am under a large amount of stress because I'm in an unhappy marriage (which we're trying to work out) and because my company laid me off. I am under treatment for depression. A week ago, my doctor doubled the dosage of my antidepressant and, because I'm not sleeping well, he prescribed Ambien. On Saturday morning, I confused the vials and took two Ambien. I told my wife what happened and that I would probably sleep all day and went to bed. At around 10 p.m., my wife commented on how productive I had been: mowing the lawn, cleaning up, grocery shopping. I remembered none of this and said so. She said her only concern was that I left for "errands" and returned two hours later with nothing in hand. I talked to my doctor Monday, and he told me Ambien can cause amnesia and that some people have reported walking, driving, and cooking in their sleep. I know now what filled the missing two hours. This afternoon, I got a call from a woman who called me "lover" and asked when I wanted to come back. She called me her f--k buddy. This is a woman I had talked to only twice before in social situations. I do not even know where she lives; maybe I phoned her for directions. I do find her attractive, but I am stunned that I did something like this. My wife is vindictive, and if I say anything to her, it will end our marriage. I do not want to continue a relationship with the other woman. What should I do?

—Scared Sleepless

Dear Scared,
It's hard to believe that the pharmaceutical industry has already solved two of our most vexing problems: How to get men to do weekend chores, and how to induce attractive strangers to have sex with you while being able to swear that you haven't cheated. If this gets around, soon we'll be living in a world where people are gobbling Ambien out of Pez containers. Driving, eating, even trying to cast congressional votes while under the influence of Ambien are all well-documented. Scroll around the Internet and you will also find individual accounts of Ambien-fueled sex—which the nondrugged participants claim is more creative and uninhibited than when their partner is awake. However good you may have been in bed, you need to keep the other woman from contacting you and asking for further services. Call her and try to explain. Tell her that, as hard as it is to believe, you have recently been prescribed several medications, you accidentally mixed them up, and as a result you have no memory of the events of the weekend. Say you're very sorry if you behaved irresponsibly but that you can't be in touch with her. Don't ask for details—you want to preserve your amnesiac deniability. And since you don't know what you did, you're hardly in a position to confess anything to your wife. From now on, when you have trouble drifting off, forget the Ambien and brew yourself a nice cup of chamomile tea.

—Prudie
Posted Thursday, April 23, 2009, at 7:09 AM ET

Does he top JimmyWint?

DaddyTorgo · 04-27-2009, 01:14 PM

i call BS

Lathum · 04-27-2009, 01:19 PM

I like how he says his wife is vindictive. That's a quality you want in a mate

Autumn · 04-27-2009, 01:25 PM

It's clearly BS, but it makes a great story. Much better than that drunk lady in the stadium restroom.

This seems like a rather severe and unfortunate side effect for a sleeping pill. "I wanted to get some sleep, but instead i stayed up and did some chores." You'd think they'd be working on that.

Mustang · 04-27-2009, 02:23 PM

She put something in my drink and then she.. she.... she... made me fix the fence and paint the garage...

I was date worked!!!

stevew · 06-16-2009, 12:40 AM

I used to have a very hearty laugh every time I would hear an Ashley Madison commercial on XM.

"Life is short, have an affair"

JimmyWint · 06-17-2009, 10:57 AM

Epilogue...Never try and fudge a bank statement...The grass is not always greener on the other side...never give out personal information...you never know when a spouse of that person may call your employer and try to get you fired and sue the company you work for...Stop Chasing the dragon...Play Maximum Football...post on FOFC...Make the world a better place...eat your veggies....that is all.

Ronnie Dobbs2 · 06-17-2009, 10:57 AM

Autumn · 06-17-2009, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

Epilogue...Never try and fudge a bank statement...The grass is not always greener on the other side...never give out personal information...you never know when a spouse of that person may call your employer and try to get you fired and sue the company you work for...Stop Chasing the dragon...Play Maximum Football...post on FOFC...Make the world a better place...eat your veggies....that is all.

Finally some closure. A lesson learned.

JediKooter · 06-17-2009, 11:26 AM

Details and pix please thanks.

Galaxy · 06-17-2009, 11:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Details and pix please thanks.

Of who?

Honolulu_Blue · 06-17-2009, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Of who?

The imaginary people inolved in all of this?

DaddyTorgo · 06-17-2009, 12:31 PM

JediKooter · 06-17-2009, 12:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Of who?

The fudged bank statement. I've always wondered if it would look like some cut and paste job kidnappers use for ransom notes where they used letters of various fonts from newspapers and magazines.

Galaxy · 06-17-2009, 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue

The imaginary people inolved in all of this?

Drake · 06-17-2009, 08:05 PM

Dumbass.

You realize, of course, that since you've now given your wife a blank check to have a retaliatory affair at some point in the future that you just at the very beginning of learning what a bad idea this was.

This is one of those "shoe really has to be on the other foot" lessons for someone to get it.

Good luck with that.

Autumn · 06-17-2009, 08:14 PM

Actually I'd say he was at the very end of learning that ... how old is this thread again?

Drake · 06-17-2009, 08:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Autumn

Actually I'd say he was at the very end of learning that ... how old is this thread again?

I was just responding to his update. Glad I took the time. I'd always sort of wondered what this thread was about, but never got around to reading it.

stevew · 06-29-2009, 03:06 PM

-bump-

TYRA today focuses on the site Ashley Madison.

Not that I'm watching Tyra specifically, it was just on in the other room and I heard them talking to the CEO.

DaddyTorgo · 06-29-2009, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

-bump-

TYRA today focuses on the site Ashley Madison.

Not that I'm watching Tyra specifically, it was just on in the other room and I heard them talking to the CEO.

suuuuuuuuure you weren't

stevew · 06-29-2009, 03:09 PM

lol-I know that would be the first response.

My wife was taping the Peoples Court in the other room, Tyra is on a few shows later on the same station-

SackAttack · 06-29-2009, 03:10 PM

Is it weird that I've read this thread at least four times and every time it gets bumped I forget what it's about?

Autumn · 06-29-2009, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

lol-I know that would be the first response.

My wife was taping the Peoples Court in the other room, Tyra is on a few shows later on the same station-

Is it strange that I've read this several times and still can't figure out why your wife would tape People's Court, or why the TV was still on in the other room several shows later?

VOTE STEVEW

Logan · 06-29-2009, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SackAttack

Is it weird that I've read this thread at least four times and every time it gets bumped I forget what it's about?

I've read this thread at least four times and I remember exactly what it's about!

stevew · 06-29-2009, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Autumn

Is it strange that I've read this several times and still can't figure out why your wife would tape People's Court, or why the TV was still on in the other room several shows later?

VOTE STEVEW

re-tape peoples court- I at least make fun of her for it, does that count for something?

re-TV still being on...I went outside and forgot it was on. I like to waste energy. I do like the ambient noise enough to listen to divorce court, or the peoples court. But don't care enough to actually watch.

RomaGoth · 06-29-2009, 04:38 PM

I finally read this thread in its entirety and my head hurts. What ever happened with Jimmy, the Madison whatever its called, and the bank statement? Oh yeah, and the girlfriend of one month?

Also makes me wonder who TCY Junkie is and what happened to him. I may have to get a new signature if he doesn't show himself soon.

EagleFan · 06-29-2009, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RomaGoth

the Madison whatever its called

epic fail for plausible deniability.....

RomaGoth · 06-30-2009, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EagleFan

epic fail for plausible deniability.....

Heh, I had never even heard of this company before reading this thread.

Desnudo · 06-30-2009, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Autumn

Is it strange that I've read this several times and still can't figure out why your wife would tape People's Court, or why the TV was still on in the other room several shows later?

VOTE STEVEW

Taping and People's Court? How old is this thread? How long have I been asleep?

stevew · 06-30-2009, 05:59 PM

DVR. Whatever.

Autumn · 06-30-2009, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Taping and People's Court? How old is this thread? How long have I been asleep?

20 years, Rip. These days Ashley Madison is out, Argentina is in.

Lathum · 04-08-2010, 10:21 PM

Farrah Whitworth-Rahn · 04-08-2010, 10:29 PM

Ah, memories.

Dodgerchick · 04-09-2010, 11:17 AM

Finally read this last night. Now I get the Ashley Madison reference on The Pumpy and Sak Show.

Logan · 04-09-2010, 12:43 PM

Still waiting on my god damn gift certificate.

Dr. Sak · 04-09-2010, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logan

Still waiting on my god damn gift certificate.

Pumpy may have used it...so you are S.O.L.

Apathetic Lurker · 04-09-2010, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desnudo

What I've Learned:

1. Scat/Gay/Animal porn = relationship repairable
2. Cheating straight website = you're fucked
3. Women like handbags a lot

Personal experience?

Suburban Rhythm · 06-17-2010, 02:15 PM

AshleyMadison.com gives Giants and Jets $25 million offer to put name on New Meadowlands Stadium

Quote:

Could the New Meadowlands Stadium become the home of the Big Blue Home-wrecking crew?
Not likely. But the opportunity is there, now that the Giants - - and the Jets - - have received a $25 million offer for naming rights to their new stadium from a dating website that targets people interested in committing adultery. According to TMZ.com, the site - - AshleyMadison.com - - offered to pay that sum for a five-year deal, which would carry them through the New York Super Bowl in 2014.

sterlingice · 06-17-2010, 02:30 PM

I'm pretty sure it's going to take more than $25M to put your name on the stadium (I seem to remember deals being in the $2-$5M per year for 25/30 years range) but I guess this gets them some free publicity.

SI

Galaxy · 06-17-2010, 02:40 PM

I didn't know AM has that kind of cash to spend. I guess cheating does pay.

Dodgerchick · 06-17-2010, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Galaxy

I didn't know AM has that kind of cash to spend. I guess cheating does pay.

Yeah, that was my first thought too.

saldana · 06-17-2010, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dodgerchick

Yeah, that was my first thought too.

they run commericals on sirius on Howard's channels...apparently they are making enough money that women dont have to pay to join the site anymore...there are enough guys out there paying for membership that they are using the old "ladies night at the bar" routine

cartman · 06-17-2010, 03:29 PM

Welp, looks like my dues are gonna be going up.

cartman · 06-17-2010, 03:29 PM

Wait, what?

Galaxy · 06-17-2010, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cartman

Welp, looks like my dues are gonna be going up.

Make sure you hide your credit card statements.

Logan · 06-17-2010, 06:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sterlingice

I'm pretty sure it's going to take more than $25M to put your name on the stadium (I seem to remember deals being in the $2-$5M per year for 25/30 years range) but I guess this gets them some free publicity.

SI

I know it's 8 games (plus 2 preseason) vs 81 games, but the Mets got $20MM per from Citi. I imagine having the Super Bowl will automatically add serious coin to the naming rights.

sterlingice · 06-17-2010, 10:02 PM

Oh- per year. That's a different story then

SI

Draft Dodger · 01-19-2011, 06:01 PM

Ashley Madison's rejected Super Bowl ad

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M6lNHlV_dU

08-04-2008, 01:01 AM	#551
Galaxy Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2005	Maybe clemsonsfan can learn some romance in marriage lessons from Jimmy.... Last edited by Galaxy : 08-04-2008 at 01:01 AM.

08-04-2008, 02:18 AM	#552
larrymcg421 Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Georgia	This definitely deserves a "Where are they now?" update. __________________ Top 10 Songs of the Year 1955-Present (1976 Added) Franchise Portfolio Draft Winner Fictional Character Draft Winner Television Family Draft Winner Build Your Own Hollywood Studio Draft Winner

04-27-2009, 01:14 PM	#554
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	i call BS __________________ Get bent whoever hacked my pw and changed my signature.

04-27-2009, 02:23 PM	#557
Mustang Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wisconsin	She put something in my drink and then she.. she.... she... made me fix the fence and paint the garage... I was date worked!!! __________________ You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its...

06-16-2009, 12:40 AM	#558
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	I used to have a very hearty laugh every time I would hear an Ashley Madison commercial on XM. "Life is short, have an affair" Last edited by stevew : 06-16-2009 at 12:41 AM.

04-27-2009, 01:11 PM	#553
Galaxy Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2005	I came across this "Dear Prudence" letter through the MSN homepage this morning. Quite a good laugh. http://www.slate.com/id/2216714/?GT1=38001 Dream Lover I cheated on my wife while sleepwalking. What do I do now? Dear Prudence: I did something recently that concerns me on many levels. I am under a large amount of stress because I'm in an unhappy marriage (which we're trying to work out) and because my company laid me off. I am under treatment for depression. A week ago, my doctor doubled the dosage of my antidepressant and, because I'm not sleeping well, he prescribed Ambien. On Saturday morning, I confused the vials and took two Ambien. I told my wife what happened and that I would probably sleep all day and went to bed. At around 10 p.m., my wife commented on how productive I had been: mowing the lawn, cleaning up, grocery shopping. I remembered none of this and said so. She said her only concern was that I left for "errands" and returned two hours later with nothing in hand. I talked to my doctor Monday, and he told me Ambien can cause amnesia and that some people have reported walking, driving, and cooking in their sleep. I know now what filled the missing two hours. This afternoon, I got a call from a woman who called me "lover" and asked when I wanted to come back. She called me her f--k buddy. This is a woman I had talked to only twice before in social situations. I do not even know where she lives; maybe I phoned her for directions. I do find her attractive, but I am stunned that I did something like this. My wife is vindictive, and if I say anything to her, it will end our marriage. I do not want to continue a relationship with the other woman. What should I do? —Scared Sleepless Dear Scared, It's hard to believe that the pharmaceutical industry has already solved two of our most vexing problems: How to get men to do weekend chores, and how to induce attractive strangers to have sex with you while being able to swear that you haven't cheated. If this gets around, soon we'll be living in a world where people are gobbling Ambien out of Pez containers. Driving, eating, even trying to cast congressional votes while under the influence of Ambien are all well-documented. Scroll around the Internet and you will also find individual accounts of Ambien-fueled sex—which the nondrugged participants claim is more creative and uninhibited than when their partner is awake. However good you may have been in bed, you need to keep the other woman from contacting you and asking for further services. Call her and try to explain. Tell her that, as hard as it is to believe, you have recently been prescribed several medications, you accidentally mixed them up, and as a result you have no memory of the events of the weekend. Say you're very sorry if you behaved irresponsibly but that you can't be in touch with her. Don't ask for details—you want to preserve your amnesiac deniability. And since you don't know what you did, you're hardly in a position to confess anything to your wife. From now on, when you have trouble drifting off, forget the Ambien and brew yourself a nice cup of chamomile tea. —Prudie Posted Thursday, April 23, 2009, at 7:09 AM ET Does he top JimmyWint?

04-27-2009, 01:19 PM	#555
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	I like how he says his wife is vindictive. That's a quality you want in a mate

04-27-2009, 01:25 PM	#556
Autumn Head Coach Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bath, ME	It's clearly BS, but it makes a great story. Much better than that drunk lady in the stadium restroom. This seems like a rather severe and unfortunate side effect for a sleeping pill. "I wanted to get some sleep, but instead i stayed up and did some chores." You'd think they'd be working on that.

06-17-2009, 10:57 AM	#559
JimmyWint Mascot Join Date: Oct 2003	Epilogue...Never try and fudge a bank statement...The grass is not always greener on the other side...never give out personal information...you never know when a spouse of that person may call your employer and try to get you fired and sue the company you work for...Stop Chasing the dragon...Play Maximum Football...post on FOFC...Make the world a better place...eat your veggies....that is all.

06-17-2009, 10:57 AM	#560
Ronnie Dobbs2 Pro Rookie Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Bahston Mass	Oof. __________________ There's no I in Teamocil, at least not where you'd think

06-17-2009, 11:26 AM	#562
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	Details and pix please thanks. __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

06-17-2009, 12:31 PM	#565
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	oof __________________ Get bent whoever hacked my pw and changed my signature.

06-17-2009, 08:05 PM	#568
Drake assmaster Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bloomington, IN	Dumbass. You realize, of course, that since you've now given your wife a blank check to have a retaliatory affair at some point in the future that you just at the very beginning of learning what a bad idea this was. This is one of those "shoe really has to be on the other foot" lessons for someone to get it. Good luck with that.

06-17-2009, 08:14 PM	#569
Autumn Head Coach Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bath, ME	Actually I'd say he was at the very end of learning that ... how old is this thread again?

06-29-2009, 03:06 PM	#571
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	-bump- TYRA today focuses on the site Ashley Madison. Not that I'm watching Tyra specifically, it was just on in the other room and I heard them talking to the CEO.

06-29-2009, 03:09 PM	#573
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	lol-I know that would be the first response. My wife was taping the Peoples Court in the other room, Tyra is on a few shows later on the same station-

06-29-2009, 03:10 PM	#574
SackAttack Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Green Bay, WI	Is it weird that I've read this thread at least four times and every time it gets bumped I forget what it's about?

06-30-2009, 05:59 PM	#582
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	DVR. Whatever.

04-08-2010, 10:21 PM	#584
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	bump

04-08-2010, 10:29 PM	#585
Farrah Whitworth-Rahn Red-Headed Vixen Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Phoenix, AZ	Ah, memories.

04-09-2010, 11:17 AM	#586
Dodgerchick College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Austin, TX	Finally read this last night. Now I get the Ashley Madison reference on The Pumpy and Sak Show. __________________ DON'T ITCH THAT NOSE! A Meditation Dynasty Last edited by Dodgerchick : 04-09-2010 at 11:33 AM.

04-09-2010, 12:43 PM	#587
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	Still waiting on my god damn gift certificate.

06-17-2010, 02:30 PM	#591
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	I'm pretty sure it's going to take more than $25M to put your name on the stadium (I seem to remember deals being in the $2-$5M per year for 25/30 years range) but I guess this gets them some free publicity. SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

06-17-2010, 02:40 PM	#592
Galaxy Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2005	I didn't know AM has that kind of cash to spend. I guess cheating does pay.

06-17-2010, 03:29 PM	#595
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	Welp, looks like my dues are gonna be going up. __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

06-17-2010, 03:29 PM	#596
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	Wait, what? __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

06-17-2010, 10:02 PM	#599
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	Oh- per year. That's a different story then SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

01-19-2011, 06:01 PM	#600
Draft Dodger Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Keene, NH	Ashley Madison's rejected Super Bowl ad http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2M6lNHlV_dU __________________ Mile High Hockey

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