12-21-2004, 02:25 PM | #551 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Hoping to make it a quick end to his adversary, Little Jeebie yanks the sword out and swings at Split Peon's head. This time he lands a light blow on Split Peon's armor. Split Peon manages to retaliate but is bleeding profusely from his stomach wound. Split Peon attempts to swing again . . .
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12-21-2004, 02:26 PM | #552 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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But, Little Jeebie Dee just slaps Split's sword to the side. Jeebie thrusts his longsword at his foe yet again, opening up a wound in his arm. Split Peon staggers and his vision begins to go fuzzy as he tries to keep his entrails inside of himself. Jeebie swings again, but can't penetrate Split's armor. Split retaliates, but he has no energy. Split continues bleeding . . .
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12-21-2004, 02:26 PM | #553 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Little Jeebie backs up for a moment to watch his opponent suffer. Split's only way out is to make a spirited charge and pray for the best. He charges, but Jeebie evades. Split collapses on the ground from the loss of blood.
TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! Little Jeebie Dee is quick and merciful as he skillfully wields the longsword. It takes only a moment for him to bring it down on Split Peon's neck and sever the head from the body. The crowd cheers. Jeebie heads for the tunnel daydreaming about how drunk he would get tonight. Little Jeebie Dee is promoted to Rank 3 and receives 2 prestige points. The Rooster collects the $25,000 purse and trains Little Jeebie Dee further in the art of anticipating his opponents attacks. Little Jeebie Dee was not injured during the fight and can fight again at his leisure. |
12-21-2004, 02:27 PM | #554 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Next up: The main event.
Qwikshot vs. Calaleus Can Qwikshot single handedly save The House of Four Fingers? |
12-21-2004, 02:42 PM | #555 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Qwikshot (Rank 2, The House of Four Fingers) vs. Calaleus (Rank 3, House Corax)
Purse: $34,000 Weapons: Rapier, Chainsaw, Knife, Longsword Four Fingered Flynn nervously chomped on his finger nails. Qwikshot was the only chance he had of avoiding financial ruin. Flynn was worried specifically because his fighter was going up against a higher ranked fighter. Even though Qwikshot got a good weapons draw, Flynn knew that Qwik would have to be in excellent form if he was to win the match against Calaleus. As the two fighters came out onto the paddocks, Flynn was relieved to see that his fighter was in much better shape. The oddsmakers took their notes and adjusted their odds to 3:2 in favor of Qwikshot. And we know that the oddsmakers have been in rare form today . . . |
12-21-2004, 02:43 PM | #556 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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The two men are led into the arena amongst the pomp and fanfare that suits the occasion. Various flares go off in the corners of the arena. The Thunderdome Girls dance about the arena scantily clad. Chevy Chase steps up to the microphone and gives the call . . . "BEGIN!" Qwik heads for the rapier, Calaleus heads for the chainsaw . . .
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12-21-2004, 02:43 PM | #557 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Both men reach their weapons in a timely fashion. Qwikshot picks up the rapier and charges Calaleus while Calaleus tries to start the chainsaw. Calaleus gives the cord a tug and the chainsaw lets out a low low rumble. It stops. It starts rumbling again. It stops. It starts rumbling. Calaleus squeezes the trigger giving it some gas and the chainsaw begins idling properly.
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12-21-2004, 02:44 PM | #559 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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As Qwik enters the chainsaw's attack arc, Calaleus takes a swing. Qwik easily parries the shot aside, but cannot return an accurate shot, missing by at least a foot. Calaleus attacks again and Qwik's defensive skills appear to be in good form as he parries the chainsaw again. Qwik returns a much more accurate shot this time . . .
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12-21-2004, 02:45 PM | #560 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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And pokes Calaleus in the leg with the rapier. The blade goes in an inch before Qwik pulls it out and into a defensive position. He quickly strikes again, but Calaleus avoids the blow. Calaleus swings the chainsaw defensively, but Qwik's defensive skill is just too much. Qwik parries once again.
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12-21-2004, 02:45 PM | #561 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Calaleus reverts to a standard technique as he moves back in to attack Qwik. Calaleus' furious blow is met by Qwik's dancing rapier and turned aside. Once again, however, Qwik can't return an accurate shot and misses his opponent with the first of two following strikes. The second strike lands and opens a small wound on Calaleus. Calaleus swings wildly again, but over-rotates, leaving his back exposed to Qwik.
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12-21-2004, 02:46 PM | #562 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Qwik can't capitalize, trying to strike straight for Calaleus' heart. Calaleus swings back around and into a defensive position. The two men exchange parries again. Flynn looks on nervously. Qwikshot moves into a defensive position. As Calaleus attacks, Qwik intercepts the attack and cuts at open Calaleus' left arm.
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12-21-2004, 02:47 PM | #563 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Calaleus counters with a quick stab with the biting teeth of the chainsaw. Qwik is on top of his game though and parries yet another shot from Calaleus. As Qwikshot parries, he slides the blade up Calaleus' right arm and opens a small cut. Calaleus starts to feel a little light headed and charges Qwikshot. Qwik attempts to intercept, but he can't. With a heavy swing Calaleus attempts to turn the match . . .
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12-21-2004, 02:47 PM | #564 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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But he loses his grip on the chainsaw. It tumbles out of his hand and flies to the ground. Qwikshot decides to move himself between his foe and the chainsaw. Calaleus looks for a new weapon and finds the knife in close proximity. He grabs for it.
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12-21-2004, 02:48 PM | #565 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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With lightning speed, Calaleus picks up the weapon and strikes out at Qwikshot. Qwik is equal to the task and parries the blade harmlessly away. The knife seems to be just enough for Calaleus alive as he parries away three consecutive thrusts from his opponent. Qwikshot, won't let Calaleus get through his guard either.
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12-21-2004, 02:49 PM | #566 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Qwikshot opens up another nick on his opponent and parries the returning blow. Another attack and another small wound opens up on Calaleus, this time on his cheek. Calaleus' uses Qwik's frustration against him. In a moment of opportunity, Calaleus throws the knife at Qwik and it sticks in his stomach.
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12-21-2004, 02:49 PM | #567 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Calaleus takes off for the longsword and Qwikshot is too stunned to follow him. Qwik groans as he pulls the knife out of his stomach. Calaleus gets to the longsword picks it up. He looks to have a second wind as Qwikshot charges uncontrolably.
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12-21-2004, 02:50 PM | #568 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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The two exchange parries again. The crowd cheers. Flynn winces. Qwikshot stabs hard at Calaleus' chest. Calaleus attempts to move, but his body isn't as quick as his mind anymore. The rapier goes straight through his chest and sticks out the other side.
TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! Qwikshot has been promoted to Rank 3 and receives 3 prestige points. Flynn happily collects the $34,000 purse and proceeds immediately to the loan shark's office to pay off some debts. Afterwards, he trains the only fighter left in his house how to better defend himself. Qwikshot will be out for 1 week with his knife wound and will be able to fight again in week 7 if he wishes. |
12-21-2004, 03:01 PM | #569 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Here is our Hall of Fodder. The list grows each week!
Feel free to sign up for Friday's auction block. |
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12-21-2004, 03:05 PM | #570 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Conyers GA
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Great stuff.
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12-21-2004, 03:10 PM | #571 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Current Season Standings:
Last edited by Raven Hawk : 12-21-2004 at 03:11 PM. |
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12-21-2004, 03:19 PM | #572 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Page 1 updated.
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12-21-2004, 03:44 PM | #574 |
High School Varsity
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: here
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When is it my turn to fight?
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12-21-2004, 04:06 PM | #575 |
The boy who cried Trout
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: TX
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Little man give Fattoe fight. Can see toenails gurgling in stomach. Heh.
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12-21-2004, 04:22 PM | #576 | |
General Manager
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
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Quote:
Muahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who is next to die at the hands of the youngest Dee brother?
__________________
UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO |
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12-21-2004, 04:57 PM | #577 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Here and There
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Quote:
I think you will find that Love conquers all. Love Hurts plans on eliminating the Dee family tree starting with the easiest one first. |
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12-21-2004, 05:01 PM | #578 | |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Quote:
RealDeal, You need to challenge/accept a challenge from an opponent to get the match scheduled. Check out the first page and find somebody who isn't scheduled and challenge them. I'd recommend not going after the Rank 3 and Rank 4 opponents for your first fight. Sorry about the confusion. |
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12-21-2004, 05:25 PM | #579 |
High School Varsity
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: here
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I challenge everybody. Come on, mother fuckers, you don't have what it takes to withstand the Real Deal.
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12-21-2004, 08:40 PM | #580 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Willow Glen, CA
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Mucius "The Lefty" Scaevola would be happy to end the Real Deal's life prematurely. Alea ayate es!
On a side note, didn't we have quite a rivalry going as wide receivers at some point?
__________________
Every time a Dodger scores a run, an angel has its wings ripped off by a demon, and is forced to tearfully beg the demon to cauterize the wounds.The demon will refuse, and the sobbing angel will lie in a puddle of angel blood and feathers for eternity, wondering why the Dodgers are allowed to score runs.That’s not me talking: that’s science. McCoveyChronicles.com. Last edited by Vince : 12-21-2004 at 08:40 PM. |
12-21-2004, 11:06 PM | #581 |
College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Grafton, WI
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Name: Tony Harding
Weapon of choice: Lead Pipe (of course) Preffered House: any but Malice Unchained Open challenge: rank 1 or 2 Last edited by SplitPersonality1 : 12-21-2004 at 11:07 PM. |
12-22-2004, 10:26 AM | #582 | |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Quote:
Lol! I do believe that the Lead Pipe would be appropriate. |
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12-22-2004, 11:39 AM | #583 |
Pro Rookie
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Canada eh
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Big Bad sits alone, his wound still seeping and festering. Dirt covers his skin and the lice are almost visibly crawling in what little remains of his hair. A grotesque smile is spread across his face as he stares down at the individual twigs that he grasps in each hand.
"BIG BAD SMASH!" With that, the twig in his left hand soundly thwacks the one in his right, nearly splitting it in two. "BIG BAD ENTER, BIG BAD LEAVE!" The twig in his right hand swings at the left, missing pathetically of course, then falls to the ground as Big Bad lets it go. His left hand moves it's twig over the fallen one. "WARHAMMER SMASH!" His left hand mashes into the ground, enveloping both twigs, then proceeds to basically squish both twigs into the ground. When he lifts his hands, both twigs are shattered and broken, yet the satisfied smile never waivers. "Jagus enter, Jagus die" |
12-22-2004, 11:52 AM | #584 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Conyers GA
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Quote:
Be still my beating heart. Yowza! |
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12-22-2004, 01:18 PM | #585 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ...down the gravity well
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"Well Flynn, it's getting quite quiet round here.."
"Just be sure to evade, anticipate the movements..." I think I have a line of people for my blood, Hoopsguy and the Split...out one week to recuperate then time to spend learning how to obliterate... |
12-22-2004, 03:31 PM | #586 | |
General Manager
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
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Quote:
Challenge accepted, fool...
__________________
UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO |
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12-22-2004, 06:37 PM | #587 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Morgan Hill, CA
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Quote:
Name: King III Weapon of choice: Warhammer I accept this open challenge.
__________________
Fan of SF Giants, 49ers, Sharks, Arsenal |
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12-22-2004, 06:52 PM | #588 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Seven miles up
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Hey wasn't there supposed to be a weapons draw today?
__________________
He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam |
12-22-2004, 08:20 PM | #589 | |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Quote:
Yeah, sorry. I was finishing up my submission for WSUCougar's essay contest. I'll do the weapons draw later tonight. |
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12-23-2004, 12:20 AM | #590 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Parvus Caesar "The Side Salad" (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Bladed Death (Rank 1, House Corax)
Weapons: Longsword, Lead Pipe, Spiked Club, Machete Analysis - Neither fighter drew their weapon. Parvus Caesar favors the knife and Bladed Death favors the Rapier. You probably won't be able to find a fairer fight. The weapons don't matter, but their form will matter. Both men are training vigorously to get into shape for the match. Oddsmakers say 1:1. Godzillius Blitz II (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Mikhail Vicious (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) Weapons: Knife, Claymore, Lead Pipe, Knife Analysis - Once again neither opponent got lucky in the draw. However, Godzillius can take more hits. It will be interesting to see if either of the fighters go for the claymore, which is the only weapon that has any range in the group. The fight stands currently at 4:3 in favor of Godzillius. Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Spiked Club, Chains Analysis - The weapon selection evens this fight out a little. Gunther will still hold the advantage wearing his armor into the ring and hanging onto the higher rank. It is, however, imperative that Gunther gets to the longsword before Windstorm 1 does. If Windstorm gets the longsword look for Gunther to try to get to a set of chains. Chains are good at disarming opponents and Gunther will want to get that longsword out of Winstorms hands. Early odds come in at 4:3 in favor of Gunther. Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. Froggius (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited) Weapons: Rapier, Rapier, Machete, Axe Analysis - Once again, neither man has drawn their weapon. The will be a knock down drag out fight between two decent fighters. Froggius will attempt to use his aggressive style to penetrate Erik's defense and Erik will try to anticipate Froggius' actions and intercept those attacks. Current odds are 1:1. Big Bad "The Almost Dead" (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. JAGus "The Not Quite Dead" (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited) Weapons: Warhammer, Chainsaw, Warhammer, Spiked Club Analysis - You'd think that JAGus would be lucky in getting his chainsaw in his third straight match. However, Big Bad is even luckier today. Big Bad finds two of his warhammers in the ring for the fight . . . and he'll need them. Both men will be coming in with injuries and Big Bad is worse for wear than JAGus. This should be a quick match for the victor. Current odds are 3:2 in favor of JAGus "mAd" MAXimus. |
12-23-2004, 12:24 AM | #591 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado Springs
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Erik....Slash?
Hey Big Bad! Erik needs you to throw one of your warhammers into his match. Erik must smash, not slash! You only need one hammer to smash. You have two, Erik has none. Give Erik one. Last edited by Coffee Warlord : 12-23-2004 at 12:27 AM. |
12-23-2004, 09:54 AM | #592 | |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Quote:
SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 12-23-2004 at 09:54 AM. |
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12-23-2004, 11:35 AM | #593 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Conyers GA
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Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus)
Weapons: Longsword, Chains, Spiked Club, Chains Analysis - The weapon selection evens this fight out a little. Gunther will still hold the advantage wearing his armor into the ring and hanging onto the higher rank. It is, however, imperative that Gunther gets to the longsword before Windstorm 1 does. If Windstorm gets the longsword look for Gunther to try to get to a set of chains. Chains are good at disarming opponents and Gunther will want to get that longsword out of Winstorms hands. Early odds come in at 4:3 in favor of Gunther. Gunther mad at stupid draw. Gunther need chainsaw. Gunther want to stick chainsaw in Winstorm's face. |
12-23-2004, 11:55 AM | #594 | |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Quote:
That's not far from the truth. I'm going to get started here in a minute, but I wanted to warn people that it will take a little longer to post the matches today as I am "live simming" instead of posting something that I simmed last night. Everybody get ready for the THUNDERDOME! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! |
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12-23-2004, 11:57 AM | #595 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Here's today's card:
Undercard 4($12,000): Parvus Caesar "The Side Salad" (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Bladed Death (Rank 1, House Corax) Undercard 3($12,000): Godzillius Blitz II (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Mikhail Vicious (Rank 1, Bloodhaus) Undercard 2($18,000) : Windstorm 1 (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Gunther GoBoom (Rank 2, Bloodhaus) Undercard 1($25,000) : Erik Flamebeard (of the neither here nor there) (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. Froggius (Rank 2, Pain Unlimited) Main Event($35,000): Big Bad "The Almost Dead" (Rank 2, Malice Unchained) vs. JAGus "The Not Quite Dead" (Rank 3, Pain Unlimited) |
12-23-2004, 12:17 PM | #596 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Parvus Caesar "The Side Salad" (Rank 1, Pain Unlimited) vs. Bladed Death (Rank 1, House Corax)
Purse: $12,000 Weapons: Longsword, Lead Pipe, Spiked Club, Machete Parvus Caesar is the first to trot out to the paddocks and he looks to be in pretty good shape. When Bladed Death appears on the stage, he looks to be in just as good shape. This match has the potential of being an epic length battle, since neither man is in much better shape than the other and neither man has any skill in the weapons that will be in the arena. The odds go off at 1:1. The men are led to the arena and they are taken to their corners. The host takes the microphone . . . "BEGIN!" Parvus heads for the lead pipe, Bladed Death heads for the Machete . . . Last edited by Raven Hawk : 12-23-2004 at 12:17 PM. |
12-23-2004, 12:21 PM | #597 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Parvus is the first to get to his weapon and picks up. He charges Bladed Death, but the bladed one is quick to get his machete up for a block. Parvus continues attacking aggressively, and Bladed Death is using a standard fighting style. Bladed Death's first swing lands short of its mark. Parvus Caesar takes a wide, powerful swing . . .
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12-23-2004, 12:24 PM | #598 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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And catches the tip on Bladed Death's head. Bladed Death grabs his head in pain, but can continue fighting. Bladed Death returns with an overhead machete strike, but Parvus easilyt parries the blow to the side. Parvus' counterstrike is not effective either as Bladed Death turns his strike to the side as well.
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12-23-2004, 12:28 PM | #599 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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Both men adopt normal fighting stances and continue the fight. Parvus strikes low at Bladed Death's knees, but hits his thigh instead with minimal effectiveness. Bladed Death is looking awkward with the machete, often trying to thrust with it instead of using a chopping motion. Blade Death thrusts the machete at Parvus Caesar and Parvus easily blocks. Parvus strikes out again with the lead pipe . . .
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12-23-2004, 12:33 PM | #600 |
College Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Thunderdome
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And cracks Bladed Death in the skull. Bladed Death goes down to the dirt unconscious.
TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! TWO MEN ENTER! ONE MAN LEAVES! Parvus Caesar steps over the body of Bladed Death and lines up the death blow. Raising the lead pipe high to the sky, Parvus brings it down hard on Bladed Death's skull. The resounding thud echoes through the stadium and the crowd goes wild. Parvus stands up and bows before exiting the arena. Parvus Caesar is promoted to Rank 2 and receives 1 prestige point. Torbjorg picks up the $12,000 purse and offers to teach Parvus Caesar one of the fighting styles. Parvus was not injured in the fight, and will be able to fight again at his own leisure. |
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