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Old 10-21-2011, 09:16 PM   #5901
Draft Dodger
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
I get a new bowling teammate tonight. All I know about her is that she's a nurse in her 20s. I am strongly considering making my first words to her be "HELLOOOOOOOOOO, NURSE!"

my wife is a nurse and it's not uncommon to go to parties with a bunch of doctors attending. When meeting them, I always do the "doctor...doctor...doctor" line from Spies Like Us. I don't think anyone's caught on yet.
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Old 10-21-2011, 11:15 PM   #5902
Pumpy Tudors
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Draft Dodger View Post
my wife is a nurse and it's not uncommon to go to parties with a bunch of doctors attending. When meeting them, I always do the "doctor...doctor...doctor" line from Spies Like Us. I don't think anyone's caught on yet.
With that, I assume it is appropriate for me to say "HELLOOOOOOOO, NURSE!" when I meet your wife.

If.

I mean IF I meet your wife.

If.

(when)
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Old 10-21-2011, 11:24 PM   #5903
molson
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So I have a father, who I know, and is still alive. His father, is dead, but I met him a bunch of times. That guy's father - I never met, but I could probably find out a bit about him if I talked to my father. THAT guy's father..things start to fade. He had a father too....and so forth.

I do wish I could go to a website that tracked just my grandfathers, how it all went down. I know there's ancestory.com and whatever, but I'm thinking deeper. Just fathers, going back, generation after generation after generation.

There are probably crazy little random turns of events that changed everything. Maybe there was a run of fathers that were powerful Viking warriors, but then one dude knocked up a poor local girl he met at church or something, and nobody ever knew about it. But I bet, in that list of grandfathers, there's a 13-year old somewhere, and a 70-year old somewhere, and a mystery guy who was traveling or something and knocked up some local broad.....and at some point if you go back far enough there's a monkey.

Anyway, it would be cool to see a baseball-reference.com type site that tracked my fathers back a few thousand years......I bet there'd be some wild stories. I mean, we didn't travel as much back in the day, so there's probably a few thousand years of Swedish dudes boning either their wives or local tramps, but it would be interesting to see how it all went down.

And yes, I'm boozed up.

Last edited by molson : 10-21-2011 at 11:25 PM.
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Old 10-22-2011, 12:31 AM   #5904
M GO BLUE!!!
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Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
With that, I assume it is appropriate for me to say "HELLOOOOOOOO, NURSE!" when I meet your wife.

If.

I mean IF I meet your wife.

If.

(when)

I thought you were officially done here.
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Old 10-22-2011, 10:09 AM   #5905
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my wife brought him back
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Old 10-22-2011, 10:21 AM   #5906
fpres
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A menstruating woman dropped her pants and charged at me yesterday.

In completely related news...just 71 more days on the job.
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Old 10-22-2011, 10:26 AM   #5907
rowech
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A menstruating woman dropped her pants and charged at me yesterday.

In completely related news...just 71 more days on the job.

Al Bundy is on the board?
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Old 10-22-2011, 10:35 AM   #5908
MJ4H
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Tell me someone else has seen the movie "Camille."
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Old 10-22-2011, 11:52 AM   #5909
Suicane75
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Tell me someone else has seen the movie "Camille."

Someone else has seen the movie "Camille".
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Old 10-22-2011, 02:00 PM   #5910
Pumpy Tudors
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Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!! View Post
I thought you were officially done here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Draft Dodger View Post
my wife brought him back
Truth.
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Old 10-22-2011, 02:16 PM   #5911
terpkristin
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My HOA is now requiring that all residents put "tight-fitting" lids on their trash barrels when taking trash to the curb. No trash outside of a barrel is allowed.

The lid to my trash barrel disappeared about a year ago one day when I put out my trash, and it turns out you can't just buy the lid. So I guess I'm going to buy a new barrel + lid. Now I have to figure out how to dispose of my old barrel. It's not like I can leave it out for the trash pickup...

/tk
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Old 10-22-2011, 03:13 PM   #5912
M GO BLUE!!!
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Now I have to figure out how to dispose of my old barrel. It's not like I can leave it out for the trash pickup...

/tk

George Carlin
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Old 10-22-2011, 04:23 PM   #5913
JonInMiddleGA
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Now I have to figure out how to dispose of my old barrel. It's not like I can leave it out for the trash pickup...

If it's plastic just take it out back & burn it. Once the remains cool, place them neatly in the new barrel with the tight fitting lid.
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Old 10-22-2011, 04:32 PM   #5914
stevew
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Can't you just tag it for recycling?
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Old 10-22-2011, 05:38 PM   #5915
M GO BLUE!!!
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Crap... Just ran out of scotch.

Yes, there is a liquor store a block from here, but I am cheap. I'm taking a trip to NYC in a week where I'm driving... and liquor is considerably cheaper there. I'm talking a 1.75 liter bottle of Johnny Walker Red Label is about $34 at the store I go to there, where here it is $50 (state minimum price.)

Now I either have to refrain from drinking for a week or pony up the big bucks.
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Old 10-23-2011, 10:54 AM   #5916
sabotai
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Thinking about splurging and buying a Nikon D3100 with a few lenses.....

You know what? This month has sucked super hard for me. I'm doing it.

EDIT: Well...after staring at the price for most of the day.....it's too much for me. I need to recklessly spend on something a little less expensive...

Last edited by sabotai : 10-23-2011 at 06:43 PM.
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Old 10-23-2011, 06:56 PM   #5917
MJ4H
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OMFG I AM IN COMPLETE LOVE WITH ZOOEY DESCHANEL TAKE ME NOW OMFG OMFG SHE JUST SANG THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AT THE WORLD SERIES AND I CANT FEEL MY LEFGJKJlkj vj epp
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:01 PM   #5918
sterlingice
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Seriously? Can she even sing?

SI
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:06 PM   #5919
MJ4H
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Yeah she actually did a really nice job, but sounded a little nervous.
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Old 10-23-2011, 07:17 PM   #5920
MJ4H
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For my Zooey

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Old 10-23-2011, 07:18 PM   #5921
Passacaglia
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Hadn't realized that there were so many people still referencing Animaniacs. Thanks for putting me in my place.

Whenever there's an awkward pause of about 3-5 seconds, I'm prone to blurt out, "There's bologna in my sack."
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Old 10-24-2011, 12:31 PM   #5922
JediKooter
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The McRib is coming back next month.
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Old 10-24-2011, 12:42 PM   #5923
Rizon
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Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA View Post
If it's plastic just take it out back & burn it. Once the remains cool, place them neatly in the new barrel with the tight fitting lid.

These things burn like pine needles, FYI.

*Edit: Not Jon's FYI, other person's
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It's hard to throw a good shot with a drunk blonde wrapped around me.
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I don't think I'd stop even if I found a dick.

Last edited by Rizon : 10-24-2011 at 12:42 PM.
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Old 10-24-2011, 12:57 PM   #5924
korme
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Seriously? Can she even sing?

SI

She's in a band called She & Him - She & Him - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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Old 10-24-2011, 12:58 PM   #5925
Butter
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Yeah she actually did a really nice job, but sounded a little nervous.

She is in a semi-respected Indie group called "She and Him". So, it is well-known (among music nerds at least) that she can sing.
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Old 10-24-2011, 12:58 PM   #5926
Butter
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Dammit, Shorty.
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Old 10-24-2011, 01:18 PM   #5927
korme
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Dammit, Shorty.

BOOM
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Old 10-24-2011, 04:39 PM   #5928
Pumpy Tudors
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"ZOOEY" IS NOT A FUCKING NAME
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Old 10-24-2011, 04:45 PM   #5929
Matthean
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Neither is Moon Unit.
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Old 10-24-2011, 04:57 PM   #5930
B & B
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Occasionally when Im eating something there will be an expiration date visable. Im not talking about milk, but stuff that I dont normally check for expiration.


Today I was eating a snack pack and noticed the expiration in March 2013. Started to think that if the zombie apocolypse comes that I will at least have until that time to enjoy pudding. Then I thought that when that time came, Id still be inclined to continue scavanging around for snack packs and would eat them post expiration. Thats a risk Id be willing to take, you know, assuming I was still making due for a few years in the zombie apocolypse and they werent resuming the manufacture of snack packs.
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Old 10-24-2011, 05:21 PM   #5931
Radii
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We had someone in to help with some cleaning a few days ago and they rearranged/organized our pantry. I went to grab a can of baked beans last night and stamped on the top of the can I read "use by August 2009". That must have been hiding in the corner in the top shelf... how long would a can of baked beans last? Is it possible its been up there since like 2007?
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Old 10-24-2011, 06:51 PM   #5932
cuervo72
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Probably.

I ate an individually wrapped block of cheese the other day that was dated something like Aug 2009. I'm still here.
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Old 10-24-2011, 06:56 PM   #5933
Rizon
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I was drinking a Dr. Pepper once and wondered why it tasted like bad beer. Checked the can and it had expired 2 years prior.

And this was at work ... and soda that we were giving out to our customers from our stash.
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It's hard to throw a good shot with a drunk blonde wrapped around me.
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I don't think I'd stop even if I found a dick.
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Old 10-24-2011, 07:01 PM   #5934
stevew
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The McRib is coming back next month.

Had one. Sucks worse than last year's version. I think I'm done with them forever.
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Old 10-25-2011, 10:48 AM   #5935
JediKooter
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Had one. Sucks worse than last year's version. I think I'm done with them forever.

I was wrong, looks like they are out now.

I've never had a bad McRib. I'll have to try out a couple to see if the quality has gone down from last year.
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Old 10-25-2011, 11:05 AM   #5936
MacroGuru
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I am having an Office Space moment this week at work...I just can't do the repetitive calling that is required this week.....ugh.....I need a hot waitress from Chotchkie's...
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Old 10-25-2011, 11:16 AM   #5937
JediKooter
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Only if you have enough flair.
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Old 10-25-2011, 11:18 AM   #5938
MacroGuru
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Only if you have enough flair.

37 pieces!

And she can express herself without flair...

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Last edited by MacroGuru : 10-25-2011 at 11:19 AM.
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Old 10-25-2011, 11:21 AM   #5939
JediKooter
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You know...I'm not usually a Aniston fan, but, after seeing her with dark hair in Horrible Bosses, I like her.
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Old 10-25-2011, 11:24 AM   #5940
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You know...I'm not usually a Aniston fan, but, after seeing her with dark hair in Horrible Bosses, I like her.

I hated her in friends and everything...but damn she has aged well....That pic I posted was from The Bounty Hunter premier I think or something related to that....that pic plus her look in Horrible Bosses...I have a small crush on her...not creepy stalker crush where I will pretend to be a friend of a friend and stalk her...but a crush..
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Old 10-25-2011, 11:27 AM   #5941
JediKooter
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I hated her in friends and everything...but damn she has aged well....That pic I posted was from The Bounty Hunter premier I think or something related to that....that pic plus her look in Horrible Bosses...I have a small crush on her...not creepy stalker crush where I will pretend to be a friend of a friend and stalk her...but a crush..

Yes, same here. If I 'were' to stalk her, I'd tell her my name was MacroPumpy.
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Old 10-25-2011, 11:43 AM   #5942
Ksyrup
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Since I started dieting/cutting back on eating, I have become addicted to Cosi's tomato basil soup.
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Old 10-25-2011, 11:53 AM   #5943
Pumpy Tudors
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Yes, same here. If I 'were' to stalk her, I'd tell her my name was MacroPumpy.
...and her response would be "You again?!"
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Old 10-25-2011, 11:58 AM   #5944
JediKooter
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Quote:
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...and her response would be "You again?!"

Indeed, but, your charm will over power her when you start to discuss your 300 perfect score.
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Old 10-25-2011, 12:57 PM   #5945
Passacaglia
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Sometimes I wonder what has been the most played song ever on Pandora.
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Old 10-25-2011, 01:41 PM   #5946
JediKooter
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Ok software engineers. I know you guys are smart, but, when I write up a bug report that has ALL the information (build#, file, directory, etc...) and explain the issue in detail with a step by step way to reproduce the bug, don't email me asking how to reproduce it.

That is all.
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Old 10-25-2011, 01:44 PM   #5947
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Ok software engineers. I know you guys are smart, but, when I write up a bug report that has ALL the information (build#, file, directory, etc...) and explain the issue in detail with a step by step way to reproduce the bug, don't email me asking how to reproduce it.

That is all.

We're just so used to getting bugs WITHOUT any of that info that it's an automatic response.
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Old 10-25-2011, 02:04 PM   #5948
JediKooter
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We're just so used to getting bugs WITHOUT any of that info that it's an automatic response.


Very good point. You should see some of the bug reports here. I'm surprised half of them even have a title.
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Old 10-25-2011, 02:32 PM   #5949
JediKooter
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From Craigslist: Seeking Fit Nordic Peeps for Pillaging Excursions

Quote:
Greetings!

I'm looking for a fit group of raiders to pillage the coasts of european villages on bi-monthly excursions. You will be at sea for quite a bit of time so pansies, please don't respond. HOWEVER! if you can handle howling squalls and blistering sun, your reward: LOOT!

The ideal candidate should excel in the following areas:
-Lifting a shield and sword.
-Rowing with a team to a rhythmic drumbeat for up to 12 hours a day (no overtime).
-Braiding beards.
-Lighting roofs on fire.
-Wearing stylish helmets.
-Feasting.
-General Berserking.
-and most importantly: acquiring LOOT!

If you can do all these things and have a long red beard (or don't mind gluing one on... I have extras), then I want to hear from you.
To respond, send a message via carrier pigeon to the southern tip of scandinavia. If carrier pigeon is unavailable, email will have to do.

See you on the longboat!

-Leif E.
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Old 10-25-2011, 03:10 PM   #5950
Pumpy Tudors
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Indeed, but, your charm will over power her when you start to discuss your 300 perfect score.
I've never bowled above a 279.
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