07-12-2005, 05:15 PM | #1 | ||
General Manager
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
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RIP Lil' Penny
Lil Penny Hits (Crack) Rock Bottom
July 12, 2005 St. Louis, MO – Li'l Penny Hardaway, who rose to fame in the early 1990’s as the diminutive television alter ego of then-Orlando Magic star Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway, was found dead Tuesday in the decrepit bathroom of a notorious East St. Louis crack house. Officials refuse to speculate cause of death, but sources say that the half-naked puppet was found in a bathroom stall, badly beaten and missing one of his arms. Li’l Penny burst onto the national scene in the 1990’s with a series of Nike commercials created by the Portland-based Wieden & Kennedy advertising agency, coining such catchphrases as "Hey Tyra, you left your toothbrush at my house," "Could ya do that for a brotha?" and "You can't guard me! The Secret Service couldn't guard me!" But as Big Penny Hardaway’s national spotlight began to fade after a trade from Orlando to the Phoenix Suns and a series of debilitating injuries, Li’l Penny’s life also began to unravel, and his off-camera troubles over the past decade were well documented. In 1996 he was arrested and charged with driving under the influence, and possession of a loaded weapon and a small amount of cocaine. In 1997 he was booked on assault charges stemming from an altercation with the Energizer Bunny at a Manhattan nightclub. And in 2000 he was arrested and charged with possession of a controlled substance, resisting arrest, and assault with a deadly weapon after attacking talk show host Larry King, when King, during a segment titled Advertising Icons: Where Are They Now?, asked Li’l Penny whether former girlfriend Tyra Banks left him due to his out-of-control drug use. After beating King nearly unconscious with his own desktop microphone the outraged Penny was finally subdued. He was later sentenced to 11 months in an upstate New York prison. It was in prison, insiders say, that Li’l Penny’s drug addiction took a turn for the worse and he began a pattern of abuse and violent behavior that would haunt him up until his death. "He called me almost every day to send him money, saying it was for his mother’s kidney operation," said Big Penny (Hardaway). "But when I went to visit him, he was a mess – tracks up and down his arms, bruises. He was down to about 12 pounds. I knew he just wanted money for drugs. I told him no, and he went berserk, throwing his little plastic body against the glass, smashing the phone, just crazy. I never saw him alive again." Wall added: "He went into prison a puppet and came out a monster." Upon hearing of Li’l Penny’s violent death, Big Penny Hardaway refused to comment on his friend’s personal problems, but did confirm that he and Minnesota Timberwolves’ forward Kevin Garnett, who appeared in several of the Li’l Penny commercials, had been planning an intervention. He also asked that people remember the "good Li’l Penny." "Little dude had some problems, just like all of us," Hardaway said. "He got too rich, too famous, too soon, and couldn’t handle it. Listened to the wrong people. But I just know that he’s clean and sober in Heaven right now, saying ‘Hey God, is this couch real leather? ‘cause it’s sticking to my leg!" hxxp://fuzzandzapper.com/pennynews.html
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07-12-2005, 05:33 PM | #2 |
High School JV
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: i live in tx
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OMG let us all bow our heads for a moment of damn silence
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Lorennnn... |
07-12-2005, 05:46 PM | #3 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Bringing up Lil' Penny deserves a side-rant.
WTF is up with Lil' Lebron? Isn't it just a tad unoriginal to go with the whole Lil' Lebron thing so soon after Lil' Penny. Even the voice sounds like they are trying to copy Chris Rock's voice. It pisses me off every time I see it. |
07-12-2005, 05:53 PM | #4 |
General Manager
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
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Actually, his name is Miles Thirst and he's not exactly a mini Lebron. But yeah, it's a crappy rip off of Lil' Penny...
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UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO Last edited by JeeberD : 07-12-2005 at 05:53 PM. |
07-12-2005, 05:56 PM | #5 |
College Starter
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Burlington, VT USA
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CLEVELAND(AP)- Reaction to the death of L'il Penny has been swift this evening.
When reached for comment, Mars Blackmon said, "It must be the shoes." Meanwhile at LeBron James house, Sprite Guy was at a loss for words. "He was my idol." The afroed star puppet said, choking back tears and being comforted by James himself. "That's why I pushed Sprite, It was clean, just like L'il Penny should be. First, my girl L'il Kim is in the slammer, now this. Hey LeBron, show them my motto." Former puppet star, now Psychologist Dr. Scooter Muppet told the Associated Press by phone this evening, "Kermit always said that fame was a fickle thing, and that it isn't easy being green, especially when your out of green. It's hard to comprehend. It's easier for cartoon spokesman like Franken-Berry and Cap'n Crunch because they can be adjusted to fit the times, better than puppets. I'm glad I'm no longer in show biz." |
07-12-2005, 06:05 PM | #6 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Black Hole
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Quote:
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07-12-2005, 06:23 PM | #7 | |
College Prospect
Join Date: Apr 2003
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Quote:
Golden
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"All I know is that smart women are hot. Susan Polgar beat me in 24 moves in a simultaneous exhbition. I slept with the scoresheet under my pillow." Off some dude's web site. |
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07-12-2005, 06:30 PM | #8 | |
College Starter
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: Henderson, Nevada
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Quote:
PIX PLEASE
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Toujour Pret |
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07-12-2005, 06:33 PM | #9 |
General Manager
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
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????
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UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO |
07-12-2005, 07:45 PM | #10 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2002
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Pumpy?
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Down Goes Brown: Toronto Maple Leafs Humor and Analysis |
07-14-2005, 07:17 PM | #11 |
College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: East Anglia
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I thought Lil Penny died already pretty much with Big Penny's career.
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Molon labe |
07-14-2005, 07:25 PM | #12 |
High School Varsity
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Columbus, GA via Columbus, OH
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That whole marketing campaign was pretty genius, Penny Hardaway was a great young player but he didnt have an endearing personality on his own besides looks and a smile that females loved. With little Penny's antics and big Penny's game these shoes became my obsession in elementary school. Unfortunately they were over 100 bucks which was new at the time and my mother wasnt having it....
http://homepage3.nifty.com/terminalv...ny2/AP2-01.JPG
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