The Line for the 2005 Darwin Award Nominees Starts Here

[Franklinnoble]

http://www.wsoctv.com/news/4103537/detail.html

Woman Dies Attempting Balcony Handstand

POSTED: 11:41 am EST January 18, 2005

NORTH FORT MYERS, Fla. -- Authorities say a Florida woman is dead after trying a gymnastics stunt from her hotel balcony.

Officials said Molly Jerman, 23, of Cape Coral, was trying to do a handstand on the second-floor railing when she fell to the patio below.

The police report said she first told a friend to watch "what I can still do."

Authorities said they don't think foul play was involved.

Copyright 2005 by The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

[Suicane75]

Fuck man, I can do that, and i aint had no gymnastics training.

[Eaglesfan27]

I'm willing to bet alcohol was involved.

[Maple Leafs]

My wife e-mailed the story today, asking (sincerely) if she was a bad person for laughing out loud at the "look what I can do" line.

[SackAttack]

I guarantee you that just before nearly every stupid act that leads to death or severe injury, the words "Watch this!" have been involved.

[SlapBone]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

My wife e-mailed the story today, asking (sincerely) if she was a bad person for laughing out loud at the "look what I can do" line.

In Texas that line translates to "Here, hold my beer"

[NoMyths]

The plot thickens: the AP would have included the word "watch" as part of the quote if the rusty gymnast had said it, but instead they lead into the quote with it...thus, she must not have said "watch what I can still do" but more likely something like "look at what I can still do" or, slightly more enthusiastically, "see what I can still do."

The presence of alcohol is not disputed by any parties.

[Maple Leafs]

CNN has it as "watch to see what I can still do".
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/01/18/bal....ap/index.html

But it's more fun to use the voice of Stuart from Mad TV: "Look what I can do!"

[flere-imsaho]

Also got that via email today. LOL, Darwin wins again!

Here's another one:

Derek Kieper was a smart, funny, intense young man who relished a good debate and would do anything for his friends.



Kieper, a 21-year-old senior at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, died early Tuesday morning when the Ford Explorer he was a passenger in travelled off an icy section of Interstate 80 and rolled several times in a ditch. Kieper, who was riding in the back seat of the Explorer, was ejected from the vehicle.

Two others in the vehicle, including the driver, Luke Havermann of Ogallala, and the front-seat passenger, Nick Uphoff of Randolph Air Force Base in Texas, sustained non-life threatening injuries. Havermann and Uphoff, both 21, were being treated at BryanLGH Medical Center West.

The three men, members of the same UNL fraternity, were returning to Lincoln from San Antonio, Texas at the time of the accident, reported to authorities by a truck driver around 3 a.m.

"At this point in time, I'm in shock," Kieper's father, Paul Kieper, said in an interview Tuesday.

"He was a bright young boy, a 4.0," Paul Kieper said. "He loved to be silly. He loved to debate."

Paul Kieper said his son graduated from North Platte High School in 2002. When Derek Kieper came to Lincoln for college, the elder Kieper moved here, too.

Derek Kieper played on the defensive line for the North Platte High School football team, his father said. At UNL, Derek took on five majors — history, psychology, economics, sociology and political science — and had plans to attend law school.

Last year, Derek attended a summer program in economics at Oxford University in England.

"He loved it," Paul Kieper said. "It was his first time with travel abroad."

Kade Pittman, a friend of Derek since seventh grade, said Derek was a true friend.

"He'd do anything for anybody," he said. "He was really funny, extremely intelligent. He'd tutor me in classes he didn't even take."

Pittman said he last saw Derek shortly before Derek headed off to Texas for Christmas break.

"It's really tragic," Pittman said. "He's really going to be missed."

Capt. Joe Lefler of the Lancaster County Sheriff's Office said Havermann was driving the Explorer east on the interstate near Northwest 48th Street when the vehicle went out of control on the ice-covered road. He said the vehicle travelled into the south ditch and rolled several times.

A truck driver headed in the same direction witnessed the accident and called 911, Lefler said. He said alcohol did not play a role in the accident, but he declined to discuss how fast the Explorer was travelling.

Derek, who was thrown from the vehicle, was not wearing a seat belt, Lefler said. He said Havermann and Uphoff were wearing seat belts at the time.

In a column written for the Daily Nebraskan in September, Derek attacked seat belt laws as intrusions on individual liberties and expensive to enforce.

"It is my choice what type of safety precautions I take," he wrote.

"There seems to be a die-hard group of non-wearers out there who simply do not wish to buckle up no matter what the government does. I belong to this group."

Erica Rogers, opinion page editor at the Daily Nebraskan, said Derek's brains and intensity would be missed. Kieper and Rogers had lively political debates, she said.

"He had a Republican focus on economic issues," she said. "He was aggressive. He was really intense.

"He was a very engaging student. I'm sure UNL will be at a loss."

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by SlapBone

In Texas that line translates to "Here, hold my beer"

In Georgia, it is "Y'all watch this."

[Ben E Lou]

Wait a minute. She fell from a second-floor balcony and DIED??? She must have been too drunk to put her hands out to help break her fall.

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by SkyDog

Wait a minute. She fell from a second-floor balcony and DIED??? She must have been too drunk to put her hands out to help break her fall.

A fall from five or so feet could kill you if you land just right on your head/neck.

[Surtt]

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

Also got that via email today. LOL, Darwin wins again!

Here's another one:

I don't get it.

It's sad and ironic, but not stupid or suicidal.
Literally millions of people do not wear the seat belts in the back seat.

[Ragone]

Erica Rogers, opinion page editor at the Daily Nebraskan, said Derek's brains and intensity would be missed. Kieper and Rogers had lively political debates, she said.


hah.. i bet they could scrape some up from the side of the road

[Masked]

Originally Posted by Surtt

Literally millions of people do not wear the seat belts in the back seat.

And thus there are millions of more Darwin awards waiting to be given out.

Although the irony is what makes his death much more notable than the thousands of others who die every year because they are too stupid or stubborn to wear a seat belt.

[Ben E Lou]

Originally Posted by Fonzie

A fall from five or so feet could kill you if you land just right on your head/neck.

I know, but you would have more time to react by putting your hands out from the 2nd floor than from five feet, but not enough momentum to do much more than maybe fracture a wrist.

[SackAttack]

Originally Posted by Ragone

hah.. i bet they could scrape some up from the side of the road

I had the same thought. This means I'm going to hell, doesn't it?

[flere-imsaho]

Originally Posted by Surtt

It's sad and ironic, but not stupid or suicidal.

True, it's less Darwin and more a good example of irony.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Well, you know what they say ... it isn't the fall that kills you, it's the sudden stop at the end.

Obviously the dismount was the part of her routine that needed more work.

[bbor]

In Canada....we say.."there's no hockey?"

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by SackAttack

I had the same thought. This means I'm going to hell, doesn't it?

Nah, just have a little sadistic streak in your humor. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself because that was my first thought, too

SI