Best Pen and Paper RPG Blurb ever

[SirFozzie]

(for the game Paranoia XP)

YOU ARE IN ERROR. NO ONE IS SCREAMING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.

The Computer is happy. The Computer is crazy. The Computer will help you become happy. This will drive you crazy. Being a citizen of Alpha Complex is fun. The Computer says so, and The Computer is your friend. Many traitors threaten Alpha Complex. Many happy citizens live in Alpha Complex. Most happy citizens are crazy. Which are more dangerous—traitors or happy citizens?

Rooting out traitors will make you happy. The Computer tells you so. If you are not happy, The Computer will use you as reactor shielding. Being a Troubleshooter is fun. The Computer tells you so. Do you doubt The Computer, citizen? Troubleshooters get shot at, stabbed, mangled, incinerated, poisoned, stapled, blown to bits and accidentally executed. This is so much fun many Troubleshooters go crazy. You work with many Troubleshooters. They all carry lasers. Aren’t you glad you have a laser too? Won’t this be fun?

Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!

When PARANOIA was first published almost 20 years ago, amid fears of nuclear war and job loss to those newfangled desktop PCs, it was instantly popular for its vision of a high-tech, post-holocaust, totalitarian future ruled by a deranged Computer. It won attention too for turning the basic paradigm of RPGs—players cooperate—on its head, making all players secret traitors who can only advance by uncovering treason.

Happily, today those fears are obsolete. Instead, we have spam, viruses, trojans, malware, distributed denial of service attacks, the RIAA, cyberwarfare, identify theft, terrorists, the Patriot Act, terrifying new diseases, the threat of environmental catastrophe, the grey goo scenario, and weapons of mass destruction.

[PilotMan]

Played a little Paranoia in college. Didn't get head over heels about it, but enjoyed it.

[NevStar]

Wasn't this the game where you died so much, you made 7 duplicate characters?

[SirFozzie]

your character is part of a six pack of clones, yes.

Here's the problem.

Having a mutant power (and not reporting it) is Treasonous.
Being part of a Secret Society is Treasonous.

Your job.. to root out treason. The more people you PROVE to the Computer are traitors, the more It trusts you.

You can imagine how much fun it leads to

[GrantDawg]

Great game. Used to play it all the time.

[Warhammer]

Being unhappy is treasonous.... Treason is punishable by death...

[SirFozzie]

Well.. only if you're still unhappy afte your friend, The Computer gives you all those wonderful HappyTyme pills! Only a CommieMutantTraitor would refuse to let his bestest pal The Computer make him a happy clone!

[Calis]

Man, I thought I was a P&P nerd in my Junior High years, and I've never even heard of this one.

Think I would've like it also.

[SirFozzie]

The new version just came out, Calis. I'd let you borrow my copy.. but here's a hint..

Showing the GM that you know the rules? Treason (not quite instant zap zap zap oblivion treason.. but still not a good thing)

[duckman]

Geeks.

[SirFozzie]

Don't make us hurt you..

Hater

[druez]

I played AD&D, Star Frontiers, Warhammer and Shadowrun.

Never heard of that one.

[duckman]

Originally Posted by SirFozzie

Don't make us hurt you..

Hater

Hey, I understand. I'm a football geek.

[SirFozzie]

Originally Posted by druez

I played AD&D, Star Frontiers, Warhammer and Shadowrun.

Never heard of that one.

It came out in the mid 80's when the Red Scare was always on folks mind.. and the fact that we all feared one day the Computer would take over our lives ;D

[druez]

What was the game like though? Was it skill based or level based? Did you fight monsters or cyborgs or people etc..?

[SirFozzie]

It was.. well.. skill based really. You mainly fought each other.. but you had to do it sneakily.

For example.

The Computer assigns your team to investigate whether Commies have infiltrated the Food Vats. Your team tries to complete the mission (failure of course, is treason ), while working at cross ends with each other. You try to prove THEY are traitors, while they are trying to prove YOU are a traitor.

[SirFozzie]

Ah.. this explains it pretty good. (this is from a description of the older edition of Paranoia)

Paranoia started out as a tabletop (or Pen & Paper, as some like to call them) RPG back in 1984. Its subtitle was "The Roleplaying Game of a Darkly Humorous Future". The setting is best described as a dysfunctional distopia, the bastard child of "1984", McCarthyism, Murphy's Law, and The Three Stooges. A well-meaning but insane Computer attempts to exterminate all treason within an underground society. What It doesn't realize is that everyone is a traitor.

The gameplay is the black sheep of RPGs. Player-vs-player conflict is expected and egged on. Inter-team firefights break out at the drop of a hat. Body counts shoot through the roof. Weapons explode. Equipment is useless or deadly. The players are hurled from one impossible situation to another. Life is cheap; PCs are even cheaper. Even a simple delivery mission turns into a bloodbath, with the players planting evidence, bribing witnesses, and pointing fingers at each other. Now and then, a few of them will get lucky and survive a mission. Some will be even luckier and survive the debriefing.

Paranoia is not a game meant to be played as a coherent campaign. Characters rarely survive a mission, let alone a series of missions. Instead, Paranoia is best played as a break from the norm. Something to dust off when the players are sick of beating on orcs, or the GM feels a sudden urge to be evil incarnate. It's a game where you don't worry about losing months and months of character development with a bad action. Simultaneously, the GM doesn't have to worry about making sure the PCs have a decent chance of survival. What you get is a break from regular RPGs, a game where both the GM and the players are encouraged to pull out all the stops. It is a game where failure is hilarious, survival is something to be proud of, and serious tactics are thrown out the window in favor of convoluted situations and demented solutions.