Neighborhood Kids Death Wish....Or to crap on my lawn.

MacroGuru · 07-16-2007, 06:42 PM

Alright,

What to do, I just caught the 7 year old neighborhood kid taking a crap in my yard, right next to my Central Air unit....

Now, I literaly scared the shit out of the kid as he ran back home pulling up his pants...

These kids run rampant, parents sleep all day, mom works at night, dad I don't know where he is, but these kids run around unchecked all day.

Question is...what do I do? Neighbors have gone to the parents and told them to watch their kids as they have done things to their homes too...

Do I go and tell the mother? Hoping it doesn't fall on deaf ears?

Lathum · 07-16-2007, 06:43 PM

Have the cops pay the kids a visit, that will probably scare them straight

st.cronin · 07-16-2007, 06:44 PM

Rub his nose in it.

Karlifornia · 07-16-2007, 06:46 PM

I think we all know there is only one option here:

Direct reciprocation.

Poli · 07-16-2007, 06:48 PM

I think I agree with Karl. Drop a deuce in the kid's backpack.

JPhillips · 07-16-2007, 07:54 PM

Sounds like you could bury him alive and nobody would notice.

Crim · 07-16-2007, 08:26 PM

REPARATIONS!!!

Crim · 07-16-2007, 08:27 PM

By the way, it's nice that MG has returned, to regale us with tales of eardrum scabs and lawnshitting. Welcome back.

cartman · 07-16-2007, 08:28 PM

Look on the bright side:

It's better than his name written in pee in the snow.
In your daughter's handwriting.

Schmidty · 07-16-2007, 08:32 PM

In other news, I hate people's signatures that contain a quote box. It's fucking irritating.

Cringer · 07-16-2007, 08:32 PM

Get a slingshot or a pellet gun, then break out the camo and wait.

FrogMan · 07-16-2007, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Rub his nose in it.

that's what I'd do...

FM

Maple Leafs · 07-16-2007, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

What to do, I just caught the 7 year old neighborhood kid taking a crap in my yard, right next to my Central Air unit....

This kid is going to grow up to be an excellent internet forum poster.

bulletsponge · 07-16-2007, 08:53 PM

lol, just pick up the shit with a shovel and chunk it at him

stevew · 07-16-2007, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmidty

In other news, I hate people's signatures that contain a quote box. It's fucking irritating.

I agree with you strongly.

Now trade me gully for table scraps.

Schmidty · 07-16-2007, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

I agree with you strongly.

Now trade me gully for table scraps.

Gully for Ryan. Straight up.

stevew · 07-16-2007, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmidty

Gully for Ryan. Straight up.

Both of those guys suck this year, and our tanking our respective teams.....at least Gully's putting up a proper OPS.

MacroGuru · 07-16-2007, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crim

By the way, it's nice that MG has returned, to regale us with tales of eardrum scabs and lawnshitting. Welcome back.

Hey, just need to throw a few curveballs out there....I will get back to being annoying about how shitty the Lions are this year, ranting and raving about BYU football, and anything else I can find!

CamEdwards · 07-16-2007, 10:47 PM

7 years old? That's fucking ridiculous. Talk to the parents, and tell them that if they don't get their shit together (no pun intended) and police their kids, you will be calling the cops.

Not only is it the best thing for your lawn, it's the best thing for those kids.

thealmighty · 07-16-2007, 11:35 PM

Put it in a lunch bag.
Put it on the kids' front porch.
Set the bag on fire.
Ring the doorbell.
Run.

(and if you have a video camera, set it up first, then put the vid on youtube with his name.)

Izulde · 07-17-2007, 12:07 AM

Any chance he could be doing you a favor and actually fertilizing your lawn?

Desmond · 07-17-2007, 12:33 AM

As someone else suggested, pick it up with a shovel, put on their front step with a little note telling dear old mom that her son left this at your house.

Ragone · 07-17-2007, 03:51 AM

pick it up with a shovel. put it in a mailbox sized box.. stuff it in their mailbox with that note about who did it

MrBigglesworth · 07-17-2007, 04:04 AM

This calls for an upper decking.

Kodos · 07-17-2007, 09:45 AM

That's just a Babe Ruth bar!

Surtt · 07-17-2007, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CamEdwards

7 years old? That's fucking ridiculous. Talk to the parents, and tell them that if they don't get their shit together (no pun intended) and police their kids, you will be calling the cops.

Not only is it the best thing for your lawn, it's the best thing for those kids.

I think I would call the cops (or maybe social services.)
That kid has problems.

MizzouRah · 07-17-2007, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Rub his nose in it.

claps hands, bravo!

rkmsuf · 07-17-2007, 10:44 AM

Trick or treat will be your tour de force.

Ksyrup · 07-17-2007, 10:53 AM

Too much crap talk outside the Stalls thread. Let's consolidate our shit, people!

Desnudo · 07-17-2007, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Schmidty

In other news, I hate people's signatures that contain a quote box. It's fucking irritating.

Must be a slow news day

MikeVic · 07-17-2007, 10:57 AM

Maybe he ate something that upset his stomach, and there was no way for him to hold it in? So he just went somewhere he thought was not very easily seen?

JediKooter · 07-17-2007, 12:11 PM

Get a horse and have the horse start shitting in your neighbors yard. Or try and video tape the kid doing his impression of Tyrone Biggums and mail a copy of it to his parents saying that the other copy is going to the cops if you don't curb your kids' scatological practices in your lawn.

rkmsuf · 07-17-2007, 12:14 PM

yeah, get a horse. this is so obvious.

Fidatelo · 07-17-2007, 01:36 PM

If movies and television have taught me anything, you need to escalate this. I propose ejaculating on their front door.

Anthony · 07-17-2007, 01:44 PM

start small. go with putting feces in their mailbox and attach a note that says "i believe this belongs to your son". that's something i would likely wind up doing. actually i would probably go easy and just ring their doorbell and tell his parents. maybe a little "i'm sure you'll discipline your child, because if it happens again i'll go to the authorities" just to sweeten the pot. kids will be kids, but respect is something that needs to be taught.

Logan · 07-17-2007, 02:02 PM

Was it a curly-haired geek going by the name of Ronald Miller?

"YOU SHIT ON MY HOUSE!!!!

(sobbing) You shit on my house."

stevew · 07-17-2007, 02:13 PM

I didn't realize your neighbor was Najeh Davenport. Inappropriate shitting must be a family trait.

MacroGuru · 07-17-2007, 05:35 PM

Well, I have approached the parents, and informed them of what happened, I haven't seen the kid outside since...I hope he is still alive, but they were appalled their son had done that.

JediKooter · 07-17-2007, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

they were appalled their son had done that.

Glad to hear they didn't have a crappy attitude towards you about it.

MrBigglesworth · 07-17-2007, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

Well, I have approached the parents, and informed them of what happened, I haven't seen the kid outside since...I hope he is still alive, but they were appalled their son had done that.

It's a shame you had to dump that on them.

Crim · 07-17-2007, 08:29 PM

Bet they felt like shit.

AZSpeechCoach · 07-17-2007, 09:48 PM

The kid is probably just pooped.

No? Didn't work? Sorry.

heybrad · 07-17-2007, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Logan

Was it a curly-haired geek going by the name of Ronald Miller?

"YOU SHIT ON MY HOUSE!!!!

(sobbing) You shit on my house."

Something stinks in suburbia!

TonyR · 07-18-2007, 01:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

Well, I have approached the parents, and informed them of what happened, I haven't seen the kid outside since...I hope he is still alive, but they were appalled their son had done that.

Well, at least it seems like the parents cared enough to correct the kid's bad behavior.

07-16-2007, 06:44 PM	#3
st.cronin General Manager Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: New Mexico	Rub his nose in it. __________________ co-commish: bb-bbcf.net knives out

07-16-2007, 06:46 PM	#4
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	I think we all know there is only one option here: Direct reciprocation. __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

07-16-2007, 06:48 PM	#5
Poli FOFC Survivor Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Wentzville, MO	I think I agree with Karl. Drop a deuce in the kid's backpack. __________________ Cheer for a walk on quarterback! Ardent leads the Vols in the dynasty forum.

07-16-2007, 07:54 PM	#6
JPhillips Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newburgh, NY	Sounds like you could bury him alive and nobody would notice. __________________ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

07-16-2007, 08:28 PM	#9
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	Look on the bright side: It's better than his name written in pee in the snow. In your daughter's handwriting. __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint Last edited by cartman : 07-16-2007 at 08:29 PM.

07-16-2007, 06:43 PM	#2
Lathum Favored Bitch #1 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: homeless in NJ	Have the cops pay the kids a visit, that will probably scare them straight

07-16-2007, 08:32 PM	#10
Schmidty Coordinator Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Early, TX	In other news, I hate people's signatures that contain a quote box. It's fucking irritating.

07-16-2007, 08:32 PM	#11
Cringer Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Edinburg,TX	Get a slingshot or a pellet gun, then break out the camo and wait.

07-16-2007, 08:53 PM	#14
bulletsponge Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: TX	lol, just pick up the shit with a shovel and chunk it at him

07-16-2007, 10:47 PM	#19
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	7 years old? That's fucking ridiculous. Talk to the parents, and tell them that if they don't get their shit together (no pun intended) and police their kids, you will be calling the cops. Not only is it the best thing for your lawn, it's the best thing for those kids. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

07-16-2007, 11:35 PM	#20
thealmighty Pro Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: heaven	Put it in a lunch bag. Put it on the kids' front porch. Set the bag on fire. Ring the doorbell. Run. (and if you have a video camera, set it up first, then put the vid on youtube with his name.) __________________ Check out The Unofficial FOFC Movie Guide Here

07-17-2007, 12:07 AM	#21
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Any chance he could be doing you a favor and actually fertilizing your lawn? __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

07-17-2007, 12:33 AM	#22
Desmond Banned Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: The Hatch	As someone else suggested, pick it up with a shovel, put on their front step with a little note telling dear old mom that her son left this at your house.

07-17-2007, 03:51 AM	#23
Ragone Pro Rookie Join Date: May 2002 Location: Kansas City, Mo	pick it up with a shovel. put it in a mailbox sized box.. stuff it in their mailbox with that note about who did it

07-17-2007, 04:04 AM	#24
MrBigglesworth College Starter Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: PA	This calls for an upper decking.

07-17-2007, 09:45 AM	#25
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	That's just a Babe Ruth bar! Last edited by Kodos : 07-17-2007 at 09:45 AM.

07-17-2007, 10:44 AM	#28
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	Trick or treat will be your tour de force. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

07-17-2007, 10:53 AM	#29
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Too much crap talk outside the Stalls thread. Let's consolidate our shit, people! __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

07-17-2007, 10:57 AM	#31
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	Maybe he ate something that upset his stomach, and there was no way for him to hold it in? So he just went somewhere he thought was not very easily seen?

07-17-2007, 12:11 PM	#32
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	Get a horse and have the horse start shitting in your neighbors yard. Or try and video tape the kid doing his impression of Tyrone Biggums and mail a copy of it to his parents saying that the other copy is going to the cops if you don't curb your kids' scatological practices in your lawn. __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

07-17-2007, 12:14 PM	#33
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	yeah, get a horse. this is so obvious. __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

07-17-2007, 01:36 PM	#34
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	If movies and television have taught me anything, you need to escalate this. I propose ejaculating on their front door. __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

07-17-2007, 01:44 PM	#35
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	start small. go with putting feces in their mailbox and attach a note that says "i believe this belongs to your son". that's something i would likely wind up doing. actually i would probably go easy and just ring their doorbell and tell his parents. maybe a little "i'm sure you'll discipline your child, because if it happens again i'll go to the authorities" just to sweeten the pot. kids will be kids, but respect is something that needs to be taught.

07-17-2007, 02:02 PM	#36
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	Was it a curly-haired geek going by the name of Ronald Miller? "YOU SHIT ON MY HOUSE!!!! (sobbing) You shit on my house."

07-17-2007, 02:13 PM	#37
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	I didn't realize your neighbor was Najeh Davenport. Inappropriate shitting must be a family trait.

07-17-2007, 05:35 PM	#38
MacroGuru Coordinator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Utah	Well, I have approached the parents, and informed them of what happened, I haven't seen the kid outside since...I hope he is still alive, but they were appalled their son had done that. __________________ "forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future"

07-17-2007, 09:48 PM	#42
AZSpeechCoach College Prospect Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Phoenix	The kid is probably just pooped. No? Didn't work? Sorry. __________________ The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them! Visit Stewart the Wonderbear and his amazing travels http://wonderbeartravel.blogspot.com

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