'Epic' Sentences

Vince · 03-14-2007, 06:08 PM

So as the boyfriend of an English teacher, I get to hear some pretty amazing 'out takes' of Freshman and Sophomore essays. My all-time favorite is still

Quote:

Sadly, their everlasting love did not last forever.

Recently, they have been going over Epic Heroes, and I've had the pleasure of listening to the following gems:

Quote:

1. An epic hero is a man who fills out his epic hero criteria.

2. Heroes born into nobility can have certain luxuries, such as having luxuries.

3. Heroes that are born high are on the right track to being heroes.

Simply amazing.

NoMyths · 03-14-2007, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vince

So as the boyfriend of an English teacher, I get to hear some pretty amazing 'out takes' of Freshman and Sophomore essays. My all-time favorite is still

Recently, they have been going over Epic Heroes, and I've had the pleasure of listening to the following gems:

Simply amazing.

You're the boyfriend of an English teacher?

M GO BLUE!!! · 03-14-2007, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoMyths

You're the boyfriend of an English teacher?

I was a boyfriend of a Spanish teacher who was also an aerobics instructor. That was a fun four months!

korme · 03-14-2007, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vince

So as the boyfriend of an English teacher, I get to hear some pretty amazing 'out takes' of Freshman and Sophomore essays. My all-time favorite is still

Recently, they have been going over Epic Heroes, and I've had the pleasure of listening to the following gems:

Simply amazing.

OH YER JUST SO SMART PICKIN ON THE YUNG KIDS

MJ4H · 03-14-2007, 08:42 PM

ding ding here comes the shitmobile F

illinifan999 · 03-14-2007, 08:46 PM

how did your girlfriend get all of my essays?

cuervo72 · 03-14-2007, 08:50 PM

Actually, I find the everlasting love line pretty funny. Guess it depends on the context.

("Sadly, Kevin and Brittney's everlasting love did not last forever.")

Vince · 03-15-2007, 04:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NoMyths

You're the boyfriend of an English teacher?

Sigh. I was until this evening.

Vince · 03-15-2007, 04:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuervo72

Actually, I find the everlasting love line pretty funny. Guess it depends on the context.

("Sadly, Kevin and Brittney's everlasting love did not last forever.")

Oh yes, I find ALL of these quite funny. Mostly because I can totally see where these kids were coming from with them. The everlasting love one is great mostly because it can work with a bit of sarcasm...but you have to know that at the level my ex-girlfriend teaches (specifically because of the school she is at, and the challenging background most of her students have had), sarcasm is WAY above all but the most gifted of her students, and this was definitely not one of them.

Drake · 03-15-2007, 05:34 AM

Sorry to hear about your break up, Vince.

JeeberD · 03-15-2007, 07:44 AM

Ouch

heybrad · 03-15-2007, 09:17 AM

Back in grade school (not sure which grade) I was feeling particularly lazy which led to the following example on using our spelling words in a sentence.

Use "refrigerator" in a sentence.

This is a sentence with the word refrigerator in it.

Imagine 30 sentences in the same format. Needless to say, my teacher was not impressed.

Mustang · 03-15-2007, 09:30 AM

I'd bet that the kid that wrote -

'1. An epic hero is a man who fills out his epic hero criteria.'

plays World of Warcraft...

flere-imsaho · 03-15-2007, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shorty3281

OH YER JUST SO SMART PICKIN ON THE YUNG KIDS

Was a nerve touched here?

FrogMan · 03-15-2007, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

Was a nerve touched here?

leave him alone, the kid's on Spring break and trying to boost his post average.

FM

Pumpy Tudors · 03-15-2007, 11:05 AM

As the husband of a computer science professor, I get stories like:

A girl tried to write some code to computer the average of a set of numbers. None of the numbers were greater than 12. When she executed her code, she got an average of 13.

MrBug708 · 03-15-2007, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

As the husband of a computer science professor, I get stories like:

A girl tried to write some code to computer the average of a set of numbers. None of the numbers were greater than 12. When she executed her code, she got an average of 13.

I don't get it

Pumpy Tudors · 03-15-2007, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrBug708

I don't get it

I dare you to create a set of numbers, none greater than 12, and compute their average to be 13.

Eaglesfan27 · 03-15-2007, 12:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrBug708

I don't get it

A quality UCLA education there.

SackAttack · 03-15-2007, 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vince

Sigh. I was until this evening.

Now, see, didn't I warn you about those dangling modifiers?

Sorry to hear it, bud.

rockboy70 · 03-15-2007, 12:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattJones4Heisman

ding ding here comes the shitmobile F

I still go back and look at that when I need a good laugh.

Mustang · 03-15-2007, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

I dare you to create a set of numbers, none greater than 12, and compute their average to be 13.

I could do that if I didn't have to use the same base..

Godzilla Blitz · 03-15-2007, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Drake

Sorry to hear about your break up, Vince.

Let's not jump to conclusions.

Maybe his girlfriend lost her job.

Vince · 03-15-2007, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godzilla Blitz

Let's not jump to conclusions.

Maybe his girlfriend lost her job.

No, it was the correct conclusion to jump to. It's for thebest, though, and I'm actually quite a bit happier today than I have been in the last few weeks, I think, so it's a good thing.

But this thread isn't supposed to be about my love life, it's supposed to be about retarded high schoolers

Vince · 03-15-2007, 05:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Godzilla Blitz

Let's not jump to conclusions.

Maybe his girlfriend lost her job.

No, it was the correct conclusion to jump to. It's for the best, though, and I'm actually quite a bit happier today than I have been in the last few weeks, I think, so it's a good thing.

But this thread isn't supposed to be about my love life, it's supposed to be about retarded high schoolers

M GO BLUE!!! · 03-15-2007, 05:46 PM

See if you can trade up to a spanish teacher/aerobics instructor.

¡Amor Caliente!

Eaglesfan27 · 03-15-2007, 07:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vince

No, it was the correct conclusion to jump to. It's for the best, though, and I'm actually quite a bit happier today than I have been in the last few weeks, I think, so it's a good thing.

But this thread isn't supposed to be about my love life, it's supposed to be about retarded high schoolers

Now, I feel even worse about Boatman. Sorry about both bits of bad news

03-14-2007, 08:42 PM	#5
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country	ding ding here comes the shitmobile F __________________ My YouTube channel My Twitch channel My Sharona

03-14-2007, 08:46 PM	#6
illinifan999 Pro Rookie Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: VA	how did your girlfriend get all of my essays? __________________ Chicago Eagles 2 time ZFL champions We're "rebuilding"

03-14-2007, 08:50 PM	#7
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	Actually, I find the everlasting love line pretty funny. Guess it depends on the context. ("Sadly, Kevin and Brittney's everlasting love did not last forever.") __________________ null

03-15-2007, 07:44 AM	#11
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Ouch __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

03-15-2007, 09:30 AM	#13
Mustang Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wisconsin	I'd bet that the kid that wrote - '1. An epic hero is a man who fills out his epic hero criteria.' plays World of Warcraft... __________________ You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its...

03-15-2007, 05:34 AM	#10
Drake assmaster Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bloomington, IN	Sorry to hear about your break up, Vince.

03-15-2007, 09:17 AM	#12
heybrad Norm!!! Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Manassas, VA	Back in grade school (not sure which grade) I was feeling particularly lazy which led to the following example on using our spelling words in a sentence. Use "refrigerator" in a sentence. This is a sentence with the word refrigerator in it. Imagine 30 sentences in the same format. Needless to say, my teacher was not impressed.

03-15-2007, 11:05 AM	#16
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	As the husband of a computer science professor, I get stories like: A girl tried to write some code to computer the average of a set of numbers. None of the numbers were greater than 12. When she executed her code, she got an average of 13. __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

03-15-2007, 05:46 PM	#26
M GO BLUE!!! Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2005	See if you can trade up to a spanish teacher/aerobics instructor. ¡Amor Caliente!

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