Funny feedback on EBAY

B & B · 05-28-2003, 11:11 AM

Originally posted on the MB at simsports, but the FORTITUDE needed to be brought over here.

When I open boxes of cereal, you should be inside. Yes, you're THAT GOOD!

Definitely a few laughs here.

cuervo72 · 05-28-2003, 11:26 AM

LMAO.....these are hilarious!

"Great transaction... Oh, I gotta go! A triceratops just crashed into my house!"

Wow, worse than a charging rhino....

BFleming · 05-28-2003, 11:31 AM

But there's nothign more serious than a rhino......

ah, nevermind

HARRRRRRRR!!

WSUCougar · 05-28-2003, 11:41 AM

Now we know that Tobias isn't limited to our little FOFC world...

BFleming · 05-28-2003, 11:48 AM

this has to be the best:

Quote:

Praise: Very polite, but I never spoke to him. Quick seller, yet I never bought. Hmmm.
Response by mrbean00 - Not buying or selling provides the smoothest transactions.
Follow-up by andy46477 - Technically, a big, wet, sloppy, TWAT provides the "smoothest transactions."

cuervo72 · 05-28-2003, 11:53 AM

Praise: Arrrr. Swab the deck or walk the plank. It's your choice, matee. Arrr.

Travis · 05-28-2003, 11:55 AM

Praise: I go skinnydipping and think of you when the fish are nibbling my reef.

NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE

Ksyrup · 05-28-2003, 11:59 AM

The most effective ones are not the Tobias-style ones, but the ones that read like they are actual praise:

Has INTEGRITY! Refuses to live on the MOON! Retains his SANITY!

Enjoys WALKS thru the PARK! Greets MAPLE TREES with a smile!

Finds facts INTERESTING! Has good old fashioned CURIOSITY.

UNMISTAKEABLE PIZZAZ! Not pinache, but pizzaz! Real zip! And ZIPPINESS!

FRISKY! Full of energy. I know what you're thinking: Not Pat4. Yes, Pat4!

Oh, these are too good.

Franklinnoble · 05-28-2003, 04:09 PM

I am pissing myself here... best thing I've read since "I put on my robe and wizard hat..."

Abe Sargent · 05-28-2003, 04:25 PM

Things were left four years ago. You'd think eBay'd have the sense to have deleted them by now....

-Anxiety

Ksyrup · 05-28-2003, 04:46 PM

Speaking of EBay...

NORFOLK, Virginia (AP) -- A federal jury has ruled that eBay's model for selling fixed-price merchandise violates a patent filed by a Virginia attorney, a ruling that could force the online auction house to shed as much as a third of its total business.

Tuesday's $35 million award did not involve eBay's primary auction business.

But patent law experts said it may force eBay to drop Half.com, a discount e-market, and "Buy it Now," which offers fixed-price options on eBay's main auction site. About a third of the company's merchandise can be purchased for a fixed price.

"If it's upheld that the patents were violated, then the court could issue an injunction against practicing the patents," said San Francisco patent attorney Neil Smith.

Fighting back
Experts say that would hurt the company much more than the damage award of $35 million, which Smith called a "drop in the bucket to eBay."

EBay said in a statement that it would ask the judge to set aside the verdict, and would appeal if he does not. "The verdict is still very much in dispute, and the battle is still far from over," said Jay Monahan, eBay's deputy general counsel.

Jurors ruled for MercExchange, based in Great Falls, which had claimed that its founder, Thomas G. Woolston, filed three patent applications for programs and procedures to operate an Internet-based auction.

MercExchange sued in September 2001, accusing eBay of using Woolston's ideas without permission. "They just started infringing," Woolston said.

EBay countered that the company's procedures didn't infringe Woolston's patents, and that those patents are unenforceable anyway because other people had proposed similar systems and methods before Woolston filed his applications.

After deliberating for three days, jurors found eBay had acted "willfully," meaning U.S. District Judge Jerome B. Friedman can choose to triple the damages to $105 million.

Friedman is expected to rule later on whether eBay must change any of its practices.

If upheld, eBay would have to drop Half.com and "Buy it Now," or seek a license to use the patents claimed by Woolston.

"And I'm sure it would cost considerably more" than the jury award, said Norm Beamer, a partner in the Palo Alto, California, national intellectual property specialty firm Fish & Neave. "Probably in the end they're going to need a lot of money to win a license."

Origins of the case
Woolston said he already has talked to prospective buyers and would not rule out a sale to eBay.

"I'm walking on sunshine," said Woolston, a former CIA agent.

The core of the dispute is one of three patents issued to Woolston in 2000 and 2001 that were spawned from an original, or "parent," application he filed in April 1995.

The 1995 filing was several months before eBay founder Pierre Omidyar launched the auction site using a combination of his own programming and software obtained for free over the Internet.

Ebay, based in San Jose, California, is one of the Internet's great business successes, and one of the last remaining winners from the dot-com bubble. Its stock has gained more than 40 percent this year and it reported a first-quarter profit last month of $104.2 million, more than double the amount it earned in the same period last year.

tucker342 · 05-28-2003, 05:41 PM

pretty damn funny

cthomer5000 · 05-28-2003, 05:58 PM

Praise: Great seller! Who cared for me when I was sick? You got it - jazztime did.

cuervo72 · 05-28-2003, 09:43 PM

Ksyrup - saw a teaser on that on last night's news. If this guy ends up messing up eBay, I'm going to be pissed!

cthomer5000 · 05-28-2003, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cuervo72
Ksyrup - saw a teaser on that on last night's news. If this guy ends up messing up eBay, I'm going to be pissed!

still getting a good price on the "adult items", eh?

05-28-2003, 11:26 AM	#2
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	LMAO.....these are hilarious! "Great transaction... Oh, I gotta go! A triceratops just crashed into my house!" Wow, worse than a charging rhino.... __________________ null

05-28-2003, 11:41 AM	#4
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Now we know that Tobias isn't limited to our little FOFC world... __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

05-28-2003, 11:53 AM	#6
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	Praise: Arrrr. Swab the deck or walk the plank. It's your choice, matee. Arrr. __________________ null

05-28-2003, 11:55 AM	#7
Travis Pro Rookie Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Canada eh	Praise: I go skinnydipping and think of you when the fish are nibbling my reef. NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE __________________ "I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it." - Rogers Hornsby

05-28-2003, 11:59 AM	#8
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	The most effective ones are not the Tobias-style ones, but the ones that read like they are actual praise: Has INTEGRITY! Refuses to live on the MOON! Retains his SANITY! Enjoys WALKS thru the PARK! Greets MAPLE TREES with a smile! Finds facts INTERESTING! Has good old fashioned CURIOSITY. UNMISTAKEABLE PIZZAZ! Not pinache, but pizzaz! Real zip! And ZIPPINESS! FRISKY! Full of energy. I know what you're thinking: Not Pat4. Yes, Pat4! Oh, these are too good. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

05-28-2003, 11:31 AM	#3
BFleming H.S. Freshman Team Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Jersey	But there's nothign more serious than a rhino...... ah, nevermind HARRRRRRRR!!

05-28-2003, 04:09 PM	#9
Franklinnoble Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Placerville, CA	I am pissing myself here... best thing I've read since "I put on my robe and wizard hat..."

05-28-2003, 04:25 PM	#10
Abe Sargent Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Catonsville, MD	Things were left four years ago. You'd think eBay'd have the sense to have deleted them by now.... -Anxiety __________________ Check out my two current weekly Magic columns! https://www.coolstuffinc.com/a/?action=search&page=1&author[]=Abe%20Sargent

05-28-2003, 04:46 PM	#11
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	Speaking of EBay... NORFOLK, Virginia (AP) -- A federal jury has ruled that eBay's model for selling fixed-price merchandise violates a patent filed by a Virginia attorney, a ruling that could force the online auction house to shed as much as a third of its total business. Tuesday's $35 million award did not involve eBay's primary auction business. But patent law experts said it may force eBay to drop Half.com, a discount e-market, and "Buy it Now," which offers fixed-price options on eBay's main auction site. About a third of the company's merchandise can be purchased for a fixed price. "If it's upheld that the patents were violated, then the court could issue an injunction against practicing the patents," said San Francisco patent attorney Neil Smith. Fighting back Experts say that would hurt the company much more than the damage award of $35 million, which Smith called a "drop in the bucket to eBay." EBay said in a statement that it would ask the judge to set aside the verdict, and would appeal if he does not. "The verdict is still very much in dispute, and the battle is still far from over," said Jay Monahan, eBay's deputy general counsel. Jurors ruled for MercExchange, based in Great Falls, which had claimed that its founder, Thomas G. Woolston, filed three patent applications for programs and procedures to operate an Internet-based auction. MercExchange sued in September 2001, accusing eBay of using Woolston's ideas without permission. "They just started infringing," Woolston said. EBay countered that the company's procedures didn't infringe Woolston's patents, and that those patents are unenforceable anyway because other people had proposed similar systems and methods before Woolston filed his applications. After deliberating for three days, jurors found eBay had acted "willfully," meaning U.S. District Judge Jerome B. Friedman can choose to triple the damages to $105 million. Friedman is expected to rule later on whether eBay must change any of its practices. If upheld, eBay would have to drop Half.com and "Buy it Now," or seek a license to use the patents claimed by Woolston. "And I'm sure it would cost considerably more" than the jury award, said Norm Beamer, a partner in the Palo Alto, California, national intellectual property specialty firm Fish & Neave. "Probably in the end they're going to need a lot of money to win a license." Origins of the case Woolston said he already has talked to prospective buyers and would not rule out a sale to eBay. "I'm walking on sunshine," said Woolston, a former CIA agent. The core of the dispute is one of three patents issued to Woolston in 2000 and 2001 that were spawned from an original, or "parent," application he filed in April 1995. The 1995 filing was several months before eBay founder Pierre Omidyar launched the auction site using a combination of his own programming and software obtained for free over the Internet. Ebay, based in San Jose, California, is one of the Internet's great business successes, and one of the last remaining winners from the dot-com bubble. Its stock has gained more than 40 percent this year and it reported a first-quarter profit last month of $104.2 million, more than double the amount it earned in the same period last year. __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

05-28-2003, 05:41 PM	#12
tucker342 Pro Starter Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Iowa City, IA	pretty damn funny

05-28-2003, 09:43 PM	#14
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	Ksyrup - saw a teaser on that on last night's news. If this guy ends up messing up eBay, I'm going to be pissed! __________________ null

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