[Drake]

I think it's a genius apology -- some Jonathan Swift caliber satire. He gets to mention his dick like 6 times in the first two paragraphs, talk about all of his current projects, and self-flagellate enough that he somehow manages to invalidate the notion of sexual harassment trauma before anyone else can make the argument. It's an apology so heartfelt that it silences his accusers, who can't grandstand on it without damaging their own credibility by appearing vindictive. Put in the larger (Weinstein) context, it steals the moral thrust of sexual harassment and weaponizes "feeling bad" in a way that minimizes the whole story. I mean, the narrative lumps him in with the Weinstein's of the world, but the contrast he creates by being so heartfelt and seemingly authentic paints him more in the category of excusable foibles and bandwagon victims who aren't really so victimized after all.

He's literally apologizing for showing his dick in such a way that you can't help but imagine Louis C.K.'s dick while you're reading it.

I mean, I'd expect a long con like that more from Sacha Baron Cohen, but I can appreciate solid craft when I see it.