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Craig,
It sounds like this isn't normal behavior. Tantrums are often the result of children feeling incapable of communicating their frustrations. By age five, they should be greatly reduced. Something in his brain is signalling to him that he's not connecting with you, but it doesn't sound like a rational signal in the examples you give.
It's good that you're going to an expert. I'd maybe try a different expert, if you're not making progress. Make sure, before you go, to document as thoroughly as possible what seems to trigger these episodes. Every detail will help the expert determine how to proceed.
With a very young son myself, what you describe is our biggest fear. So far, I think we're lucky in that he seems to be developing normally and can always be soothed quickly if he gets upset. Five is supposed to be a good age. They go off to school, and they don't hate you yet.
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