[Neuqua]

I hate running. Always have, never got any enjoyment out of it. Never really particularly been all that good at it either though.

Me and five others did a 5k run back in October for the benefit of Aids. Generally I have the perception of being the "athlete" in the group since I played quite a few sports in high school and well, I pretend to act like I am. Physically I'm in decent enough shape, though a bit on the thin side. For the last year or so most (9/10 days) of my workouts were strength training because I have been trying to gain weight. I am 6ft 145lbs, and really never deviate more than 5 lbs either way.

Since the run was for fundraising and charity, I signed up and thought it would be a fun and unique experience. Especially with a girl running with me which at the time I was trying to impress, I thought this was a brilliant idea on my behalf.

It was a disaster.

I have never been so embarrassed in my life. I was able to jog for about the first mile until I was exhausted and from that point on, mostly walked. I ended up finishing the 5k in, don't laugh, roughly ~40 minutes. I couldn't believe it. My friends were all waiting at the finish line and while their intentions were nice and they were cheering me on to be supportive, I could not help but feel silly over the whole thing. After the run was over, I don't think I had ever been more dissapointed in myself, I had not realized I had gotten this out of shape.

Now I'm motivated. Truth is, even since the 5k, I have not done any cardio training because I was still embarrassed by myself from last October. But recently a few of my friends have talked about running in the Shamrock Shuffle which is a 8k run here in Chicago in March. They've asked me to join, and earlier I declined. But now I can't get the idea out of my head.

Is there a way to not embarrass myself running the 8k come March?

I know it should not matter but I am as competitive as they come and just as stubborn, so I really feel like I want to run this 8k and not finish last. My friends finished the 5k around the 30min mark.

The problem is, I'm not at the point where I can lose any weight either. So I need to find a medium where I can start training cardio and at the same time, try to keep up with my strength training. Is that even possible?

I understand that this all probably sounds dumb and most people reading it will just tell me to get over myself, and I accept it, it does sound silly. But again, I hate losing and I want a chance at redemption. I know there are a few runners on this board and thought it would not hurt to ask for advice.

Any suggestions?