|
7 Virgins and 1 Donkey---The Youth Pull Lottery
An silence covered The New Fighting Crawfish Arena as all the players new what was about to happen. It was youth pull day. A new guy was coming. If he was the stud to be rumored, the team would be out of debt, Project Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws would get much need funding and many of the slack asses would be replaced by people that know how to play. Very exciting indeed...
Number Two announced that the mysterious youth pull would be a keeper. This keeper held the keys to the future. As Number Two escorted him on to the field, they stared in awe. "Is he Jesus?" asked one guy, "Is he a guy?" asked another. Yet another asked "What are those sores on his thighs?" They were a true sign of a Crawfish Player. STD's.
"What is your name?" screamed The Afoci at the young man.
"William Dunning" he said back.
Shrouded in mystery, they began asking him questions to find his age. "Do you like the new or old XTina?" asked The Afoci.
"The new one" said William Dunning.
He had hit puberty, a good sign. "How old are you?" asked The Afoci.
Everyone went quiet. "18" he said.
Not a bad sign, still young. "Get in the goal" said Felix "Coach" Gruber
He stood in the goal and everyone lined up and begin kicking balls at him. He stopped the first few and celebration amongst the coaches began. But then something happened. One got by, then another, then another. He was failing. Suddenly it could be heard in the back ground...growing louder and louder.
Dut Dut Dut UH, Another one bites the dust starts blaring from Lars-Olof "Chris Gaines" Uddstad boom box. The men circle him and The Afoci starts doing his now famous dance. Shades of his break dancing past are shown. He was magical on the field this day. Tears filled the eyes of Number Two as he had seen him praticing this many times before and finally, he was doing it and it was perfect. Only one thing remained. A extremely difficult ending flip into a twist that would end with him spinning like a top. Everything started great but as he started spinning things went out of control and The Afoci hit his head on the bar of the goal.
Laying there, "Knocked the fuck out" as Lars-Olof "Chris Gaines" Uddstad said, the guards released the angry, and I mean angry Crawfish on the new guy.
His obituary read:
William Dunning (10659765)
18 years, passable form, healthy
A controversial person who is fiery and dead.
Has disastrous experience and wretched leadership abilities but who cares because he was killed by angry, and i mean angry Crawfish.
Nationality: USA
Assessed value: 40 000 US$
Wage: 700 US$/week
Owner: Fighting Crawfish
Warnings: 1, then they killed him.
Stamina: wretched(mainly because he is dead)
Goaltending: weak(about the same as when he was alive)
Playmaking: disastrous Passing: disastrous
Winger: disastrous Defending: disastrous
Scoring: disastrous Set Pieces: wretched
Career Goals: 0
Career Hattricks: 0
League goals this season: 0
Cup goals this season: 0
Rest in peace you bastard. Love The Afoci!
Abel Barreto sold somehow for about 10k. We got 5k for a former player and then 8.5k for the same guy after he sold twice in the same week. Stay tuned, as more will come when The Afoci wakes up.
On a side note, thanks to those who are reading, it is nice to know my story is being followed by some. Thanks.
|