[The Afoci]

The Club---A in-depth look at the men who run The Fighting Crawfish

Felix "Coach" Gruber has been allowed since the start to handle all the hiring of assistants as he sees fit...as long as they support the mission of creating Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws. His first hiring was of 2 goal keeping coaches. Many believe that The Afoci has one of them is constantly walking the secret hide out, believing that his skill in goal keeping will keep the men working Project Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws on goal.

He also has a total of 8 assistant coaches. Each of them reports to him on a daily basis and then he is to report to The Afoci shortly after 6:30 p.m. Mainly because he likes to watch all the news and then listen to one, and only one song from Supertramp prior to being bored with updates from his squad.

He also has 2 sports psychologists, all though it is obvious more are needed with the happenings around here. He also has 2 spokesman who say nothing about soccer, but mainly threaten the sponsors with "certain death by Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws" So far it seems to be drawing good money to the squad.

He hired one economist, but his lack in mathematical skills has really hindered the club here. Mikey "Number Two" Denney was seen earlier teaching him the multiplication tables with flash cards. He seems to be coming around and should be helpful within a year.

He hired 8 physiotherapists at the request of The Afoci because thought they were pyschos and would scare opposing players.

Two doctors were hired, one is the personal doctor to "You better guard your daughters or they will be" Les "their" Cherry "s" for obvious reasons and the other is generally treating cuts from rabid attack Crawfish released on the men during practices.

The Afoci pumps $20,000 per week into the youth squad for the sole purpose getting people he can test Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws on. The squad is now inadequate.