[Grid Iron]

The Iceman Returneth!

Kuhn inks new deal, escalates
war of words with El Paso DT

Free Agency Stage 2, 2007

Portland, OR (ESPN) – In one fell swoop yesterday, the Oregon Ice re-signed their starting quarterback and fanned the flames of a bitter rivalry.

“Who the hell is Derick Javier?” Oregon QB Thomas Kuhn asked rhetorically at a team press conference announcing his new three-year pact with the Ice. “The only people who make comments like that are rookies and idiots.”

Kuhn was referring to El Paso defensive tackle Derick Javier’s assertion last week that he looked forward to “punishing” Kuhn this season. “I was pumped up about getting my new contract done, but this just gives me more incentive when we play El Paso. I’ve already got the date circled on my calendar.”

That date will be Week 3 this season when the Ice visit the Rockets to avenge a one-point loss to El Paso in 2006. “I’m gonna throw for 300 yards and four touchdowns in that game,” Kuhn predicted. “Javier won’t even lay a finger on me, assuming he even plays--I hear he needs to sit out when he gets a paper cut.”

The usually humble Kuhn was anything but that on this day, ecstatic with the team’s long-term commitment to him. “I’ve dreamed of this moment my whole life,” said Kuhn, who will be going for his third Ring of Ice division title in a row this year. “Oregon is where I want to finish my career.”

Kuhn most likely will under the terms of his deal. The contract includes a $540,000 signing bonus and base salaries of $1.04 million in 2007 and $1.52 million in 2008. The final year of the contract calls for a $12 million base salary, but both sides expect that a new deal will be renegotiated or Kuhn will retire.

“He’s the best bargain in the CFL,” Oregon general manager Jack “Grid” Iron said of the quarterback who threw for 2,132 yards, 20 touchdowns and 9 interceptions with a 61% completion rate in just seven games last year. “We’ve got something special here and Tommy is going to help us keep it going.”

Author's Note: Thanks FFF for the "Iceman" idea! Awesome!