Norm De Plume’s Burning Questions

Grid Iron · 04-21-2005, 10:19 PM

Norm De Plume’s Burning Questions

Originally published during CFL Week 16, 2006

Each week, The CFL Inquisitor sends beat reporter Norm DePlume across the country to ask the league's owners some burning questions.

Today, Oregon owner Grid Iron, is under fire from Norm DePlume's Burning Questions:

#10: Which player do you think has improved the most this year for Oregon?

No question, it's flanker Matt Brunner. He's already set career highs in receptions (84), receiving yards (1281) and TDs (9).

#9: Who's the dumbest guy on the roster? What's the dumbest thing he's done this year?

I gotta say it's me. I moved an All-Pro quality FB (Tracey Woolery) to RB to help the running game, and his ratings went to sh*&. He's just taking up a roster spot now.

#8: Who's your biggest rival? Why?

Stretch, owner of Anchorage. Because he made a kick-ass banner.

#7: Left hand or right hand? You know, for collecting your thoughts...

Right handed, for sure. But left every once in a while for a change of pace. . .

#6: Which player conflicts have gotten better/worse this year? Affinities?

I was worried when I saw that wide receiver Kendrick Dillon had a strong affinity for Matt Brunner, but it turned out to just be a mild crush. Not there's anything wrong with that. . .

#5: Which stadium do you dread playing in? Look forward to playing in?

I don't really dread playing in any stadium. However, I do look forward to playing in whatever stadium the CFL Bowl is held this year!

#4: Who was the target for the best prank this year? Prank details?

The entire CFL. All of the Madden Mods I've posted contain a worm virus that has allowed me free access to all of the owner's personal computers. Not only have I been able to alter my opponents' gameplans and exports, but I've stolen the identities of five owners so far! Thanks for the World of Warcraft Collector's Edition ($275), Wademoore!

#3: How would you evaluate your Staff this year? Scouting department?

My penis is in pretty good shape. The infection went away pretty quick after the doc gave me the antibiotics. As for scouting, I'm always on the lookout for hotties. . .

#2: If you could bed one guy on the team, who would it be? Totally off the record of course and I'm not on the team.

If you mean my football team, it would be Teddy Woodard, no question. I like 'em small (5'8"). If you mean "The Team", JeeberD, no question. I like 'em nerdy.

And Norm's #1 burning question: If you had to choose between being Shreveported in the CFL Bowl game or being gang raped by the losing team after you won it, which would you choose? Remember, you're not gay as long as you don't push back.

Is it really rape if you're into it?

© 2005 Norm De Plume. Reprinted with permission.

04-21-2005, 10:19 PM	#35
Grid Iron Ice Cream Man Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Bay Area	Norm De Plume’s Burning Questions Originally published during CFL Week 16, 2006 Each week, The CFL Inquisitor sends beat reporter Norm DePlume across the country to ask the league's owners some burning questions. Today, Oregon owner Grid Iron, is under fire from Norm DePlume's Burning Questions: #10: Which player do you think has improved the most this year for Oregon? No question, it's flanker Matt Brunner. He's already set career highs in receptions (84), receiving yards (1281) and TDs (9). #9: Who's the dumbest guy on the roster? What's the dumbest thing he's done this year? I gotta say it's me. I moved an All-Pro quality FB (Tracey Woolery) to RB to help the running game, and his ratings went to sh&. He's just taking up a roster spot now. #8: Who's your biggest rival? Why? Stretch, owner of Anchorage. Because he made a kick-ass banner. #7: Left hand or right hand? You know, for collecting your thoughts... Right handed, for sure. But left every once in a while for a change of pace. . . #6: Which player conflicts have gotten better/worse this year? Affinities? I was worried when I saw that wide receiver Kendrick Dillon* had a strong affinity for Matt Brunner, but it turned out to just be a mild crush. Not there's anything wrong with that. . . #5: Which stadium do you dread playing in? Look forward to playing in? I don't really dread playing in any stadium. However, I do look forward to playing in whatever stadium the CFL Bowl is held this year! #4: Who was the target for the best prank this year? Prank details? The entire CFL. All of the Madden Mods I've posted contain a worm virus that has allowed me free access to all of the owner's personal computers. Not only have I been able to alter my opponents' gameplans and exports, but I've stolen the identities of five owners so far! Thanks for the World of Warcraft Collector's Edition ($275), Wademoore! #3: How would you evaluate your Staff this year? Scouting department? My penis is in pretty good shape. The infection went away pretty quick after the doc gave me the antibiotics. As for scouting, I'm always on the lookout for hotties. . . #2: If you could bed one guy on the team, who would it be? Totally off the record of course and I'm not on the team. If you mean my football team, it would be Teddy Woodard, no question. I like 'em small (5'8"). If you mean "The Team", JeeberD, no question. I like 'em nerdy. And Norm's #1 burning question: If you had to choose between being Shreveported in the CFL Bowl game or being gang raped by the losing team after you won it, which would you choose? Remember, you're not gay as long as you don't push back. Is it really rape if you're into it? © 2005 Norm De Plume. Reprinted with permission. __________________ Follow the story of the Oregon Ice of the Continental Football League. Last edited by Grid Iron : 04-21-2005 at 10:27 PM.