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Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
Week 13
It’s a tie! Dead even! Both Neely and Sherman accepted the Rudy Scholarship at the same time! Somewhere back there I thought I mentioned what I would do in the case of a tie. Let’s see…nope…no such foresight. Humm. What to do? We’ll cut one in the fall, as I can’t axe anyone now, and two are too many. But who to cut? I know, let’s roll a Die of Doom! I have nearby a large red Las Vegas die. If it’s a 1,2,3, Sherman gets the axe; 4,5,6 Neely’s gone. Here we go!
2! Sherman gets hit with the Die of Doom, and will be summarily axed from the program next fall, after he arrives on campus with all his bags, after he buys all his textbooks, and after he registers for classes. Life is so cruel sometimes, and all this FOF2002 exitement and disappointment has got me in a bad mood. When you get the word next fall, don’t blame me, Shermie; it’s all EA’s fault. Just send email to their customer service if you’re not happy. They’ll get right in touch with you. Wait. Even though he is the dumbest student in the US, he’s can’t be dumb enough to believe that. I’ll have to come up with something better.
The Game
#102 Connecticut in New England. This is probably the last game we have to worry about winning, as the last two games on our schedule (BC & Penn State) should be easy defeats.
The Result
We led 10-0 going into the 4th quarter thanks to a long field goal drive and a Connecticut fumble that gave us an easy TD. Otherwise the game was dead even in terms of yardage and gameplay. But almost on que as the game entered the 4th quarter, Connecticut’s running game erupted for 17 unanswered points to take the game 17-10!!!! We lose again!
One of the hard things in finding a star in defeat is that you are looking for someone who either did stuff egregiously bad or didn’t do anything at all; while it’s easy to find the bonehead plays, the guys that don’t do anything all game are trickier to pick out of the stats. But after a while of looking I found our star. He had no carries, no blocks, and only one reception for a measly 3 yards. His name? Your friend and mine: FB Briggs!!!! Yes, he deserves it. Despite his game-winning rush a week ago, we will forgive him—-he was most likely affected by the concussion. We proudly hand him the QuikSand Game Ball for his efforts today.
Record 3-6; Rank #85
Well, another productive day of destroying Notre Dame football. We are up there with the big guys now and things are looking good on the field. Our last two games should be walks. But that sword of Damicles is wiggling, swaying slightly more with each loss we take. And soon, friends, we must walk under that sword. Monday is the day: our date with destiny. Yes, if all goes according to schedule, Monday is the day we should press that fateful “End Season” button. Will our plummeting rankings and rocketing loss totals cause that sharp blade to fall, sending us to the dark depths of the unemployment line? Or will the good god Gindin stay the blade one more time, and give us just one more chance, one more chance to bring this haloed institution to the promised land, one more chance to make babies bubble with glee when their mommies say, “Things have not always been this way, my dear son. Once upon a time, in a mythical land called Gindinland, the big bad ogre called Notre Dame football finally, yes, finally got its royal ass kicked.” It’s no longer just for us, fans; we’re doing it for all those cute babies. God, are you listening? It’s the babies that count, god! One more year. That’s all I ask.
BC tomorrow. Till then, Go Irish! Yee-haw!
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