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Originally posted by Godzilla Blitz:
Well, it's midnight somewhere, so let's check this score out...
Wow! What a runaway!!! Silly me, I thought it was going to be close. Here's the real time action (again, scroll slowly for increased drama...total votes in parentheses)
Kekkonen: McAninch (2) Bonus for best insult by non-native English speaker
(uksi, cacksi, calme? That's all I somewhat know of your language)
revrew: Murray (2) bonus for best insult; hell, it even had rhythm.
digamma: Fisher (2) QuickDraw bonus
primelord: Briggs (1)
Kodos: Briggs (3) Gatesville Anti-Dynasty Bonus
jerk: Briggs (4)
IMetTrentGreen: Briggs (5)
stkelly: Briggs (6)
mgr1037: Briggs (7)
Alf: Briggs (8)
Shorty: Briggs (9)
What a romper room! Oh, Mr. Briggs? Where are you? Come here Mr. Briggs! Come to Coach Blitz! Be a nice boy and show me your Manage Player button. That's right. Hold it out where I can see it. This will only hurt for a second. Trust me. Let me think. I would really like to make you a lineman, but you aren't fat enough for me to do that. And we already have an army of linebackers. Humm. Oh, I see, here it is! How do YOU spell fullback, Mr. Briggs? f-u-double l-b-a-c-k? No, no no. Silly boy. Fullback is spelled b-r-i-g-g-s...
The new and improved Mr. Briggs:
Run Blocking: 0/15
Short Yardage: 5/78
Third Down Running: 70
Yards per Carry: 6/81
Avoids Drops: 0/15
Catch Frequency: 0/15
Third Down Catching: 0
Avoids Fumbles: 87
Endurance: 100
Special Teams: 0
Damn! He is not a complete loser! What happened? He had a scramble ability of only 13? How did this happen? Oh, wait. On second thought, I guess it's not too bad. 0/15 blocking is not going to get him far. And with 10% film, 10% study, and 10% practice, I bet we don't see much improvement out of Mr. Briggs. This will also prevent a walk-on at fullback so there are other benefits too. Plus we get to watch Briggs bang into linebackers for three years! Maybe we could have another contest to guess how many games he lasts before he gets hurt?
Anyway, that was fun! Thank you so much to everyone who participated this year! You are truly the poop faithful if you are showing up here despite the now 11-game winning streak. We won't forget you at the ultimate victory parade!
But I'm excited! We came so close to ending the streak last week! And now, thanks to you, we are a step closer! I tell you, I feel it. I really feel it. We are almost there! This player change could be the straw that breaks the dam, the crack that breaks the camel's back. Let's go play with our new toys!
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