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May 1, 2034
Today comes the news that Wallace Hastings has retired from his position as head coach at Georgetown University. Coach Hastings is only 61, but he has always said he couldn't envision coaching much past his 60th birthday. He retires with a career total of 641 victories, second all-time to Graham Sims' 698.
Then, we learn that Thomas Liang has stepped down from his position at Lafayette! This shocks me. Coach Liang has just completed his second season back on College Hill, where he spent over a dozen years as Graham Sims' lead assistant. His record at Lafayette was 50-18, and while the Leopards were eliminated in the first round of the NCAA tournament, it's hard to say Coach Liang's tenure was disappointing. The thing that surprises me most, however, is the fact that Coach Liang is so young: he's 57.
Coach Liang is the most successful member of Graham's coaching tree. I can't tell you what his career record was, because he didn't win enough games to make the Top 50, but I know he posted a winning record.
Georgetown offers Graham their job. Nope. I'm flattered by the offer from Vanderbilt, who's also looking for a new man after their incumbent, Jed Settle, retires. But I'm not going anywhere.
There's an excellent coach up for hire this year: Clayton Mintz, who has a 510-256 career record, has been fired by Oregon. I'm thinking either Georgetown, Vanderbilt, or Lafayette will snap him up, but they don't. All three programs go with less established coaches.
Lafayette's new man, Daniel Turcotte, is 54-year-old, journeyman Level 6 coach with a career record of 257-458. He has the third most losses of any coach in history. Georgetown hires promising Clint Grams, 48, fresh off a 27-victory season at Houston. Vanderbilt's new man is Chris Box, formerly at Clemson.
The plot thickens a bit. Graham's veteran Coaching Assistant, Frank Timberlake, decides to retire. When I look at the list of coaches who are seeking positions, I see both Clayton Mintz and Blake Petitford, another veteran coach who's just been fired from the head job at Georgia Tech.
I decide to offer Coach Petitford the job; he's willing to work for much less than Coach Mintz, and his ratings are almost as good. He turns down my offer, however, and ends up accepting one at Kentucky. I don't blame him; the Wildcats offered him about $75,000 more than I did.
We hire Clayton Mintz's lead assistant, instead. He's John Gruber, a 41-year-old Level 5 coach who joined the Oregon staff in 2024. Coach Gruber's rating for Coaching Offense is 53, and his score for Coaching Defense is 86. He'll do just fine. We'll pay him $142,099/year on a three-year contract.
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