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Subby · 07-16-2012, 12:00 PM

DAY FIVE

So this is actually day six, but I am going to make a slight, real life adjustment. Since the weekend is usually kind of a blur, for the purposes of this challenge it probably works best to just treat it as one day. One long, unstructured, undisciplined day.

I have now been off ice cream for 36 hours. In the summertime. That, in and of itself, is a MASSIVE accomplishment. Particularly for a person that is perfectly willing to roll off the couch after midnight and fix himself a big ol' bowl of ice cream. And then go back to sleep. Seriously it is amazing sometimes that I am still alive. You know how you watch documentaries with drug users who are smoking crack or shooting heroin and you wonder how they could still be alive? I am pretty certain there is a documentary of me on Sundance Channel polishing off a pint of Chubby Hubby (HAHAHA IRONY) at one in the morning. The viewer is watching, slightly averting his eyes, talking to the screen, "OH MAN! THAT BE GROSS, DAWG. WHY YOU GOTTA EAT THE WHOLE THING? COME ON MAN!"

Anyway, four had habits down for now. ON TO THE FIFTH!

1. No soda.

2. No Starbucks.

3. No Convenience Stores.

4. No ice cream.

5. No eating after 8pm.

SUBBY THAT IS TOTALLY UNREASONABLE! WHAT IF YOU ARE HUNGRY? FEED THE MACHINE!

Look, I am not going to die of starvation if I stop eating after 8pm at night. People go on seven day food-free vision quests where they arm wrestle Jesus and drink urine in a sweat lodge and then return to their white collar jobs and are FINE. I could stand to be a little hungry once in a while. In fact, I don't know that it is even good for you to give your body food the moment it wants it. I'm not talking about going crazy or anything, but is it that bad to have a meal at 630pm and then maybe a piece of fruit at 8pm and then try not to stay up until midnight? Go to bed a little hungry and wake up to a KICK ASS BREAKFAST. Or go to bed stuffed and have weird dreams about robbing a liquor store with your best friend from unicorn clown college.

I have many times just stood in my kitchen late at night eating bowls of cereal or ice cream (NATCH) or almonds or chips or sweets or whatever I could shove in my hole. WHY? I am not going to die if I don't eat something. I could just go to bed and sleep for 7-8 hours, unencumbered by a batshit insane metabolism that I have just stoked. But no. Gotta get to 5000 calories for the day in case the US Olympic Committee ever calls and I have to start training!

Anyway, it's just dumb. I realize that are going to be times here and there where dinner is running late or something and I might eat at 815, but for 99% of other occasions, I am not going to eat after 8pm. Maybe I'll sleep better and actually benefit from the 500-750 calories that get burned while you sleep. In other words, wake up as less of a fat ass.

WE ANSWER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS FROM OUR READERS

"Wait, what? How the hell is The Container Store a destination? It's where you go to get weird little plastic boxes to store crap you, ahem, need. You don't just go to the container store to impulse buy, right?" - sterlingice

I have a theory that the absolute explosion of home and garden television programming has really warped our sense of home. We see these absolutely pristine, sute, super-organized houses and spaces on television and then we look around at our own untidy, less organized homes and start feeling guilty or stressed or both. We already buy too much shit. Now we have to do something with it? Well, there's a store for that!

07-16-2012, 12:00 PM	#25
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	DAY FIVE So this is actually day six, but I am going to make a slight, real life adjustment. Since the weekend is usually kind of a blur, for the purposes of this challenge it probably works best to just treat it as one day. One long, unstructured, undisciplined day. I have now been off ice cream for 36 hours. In the summertime. That, in and of itself, is a MASSIVE accomplishment. Particularly for a person that is perfectly willing to roll off the couch after midnight and fix himself a big ol' bowl of ice cream. And then go back to sleep. Seriously it is amazing sometimes that I am still alive. You know how you watch documentaries with drug users who are smoking crack or shooting heroin and you wonder how they could still be alive? I am pretty certain there is a documentary of me on Sundance Channel polishing off a pint of Chubby Hubby (HAHAHA IRONY) at one in the morning. The viewer is watching, slightly averting his eyes, talking to the screen, "OH MAN! THAT BE GROSS, DAWG. WHY YOU GOTTA EAT THE WHOLE THING? COME ON MAN!" Anyway, four had habits down for now. ON TO THE FIFTH! 1. No soda. 2. No Starbucks. 3. No Convenience Stores. 4. No ice cream. 5. No eating after 8pm. SUBBY THAT IS TOTALLY UNREASONABLE! WHAT IF YOU ARE HUNGRY? FEED THE MACHINE! Look, I am not going to die of starvation if I stop eating after 8pm at night. People go on seven day food-free vision quests where they arm wrestle Jesus and drink urine in a sweat lodge and then return to their white collar jobs and are FINE. I could stand to be a little hungry once in a while. In fact, I don't know that it is even good for you to give your body food the moment it wants it. I'm not talking about going crazy or anything, but is it that bad to have a meal at 630pm and then maybe a piece of fruit at 8pm and then try not to stay up until midnight? Go to bed a little hungry and wake up to a KICK ASS BREAKFAST. Or go to bed stuffed and have weird dreams about robbing a liquor store with your best friend from unicorn clown college. I have many times just stood in my kitchen late at night eating bowls of cereal or ice cream (NATCH) or almonds or chips or sweets or whatever I could shove in my hole. WHY? I am not going to die if I don't eat something. I could just go to bed and sleep for 7-8 hours, unencumbered by a batshit insane metabolism that I have just stoked. But no. Gotta get to 5000 calories for the day in case the US Olympic Committee ever calls and I have to start training! Anyway, it's just dumb. I realize that are going to be times here and there where dinner is running late or something and I might eat at 815, but for 99% of other occasions, I am not going to eat after 8pm. Maybe I'll sleep better and actually benefit from the 500-750 calories that get burned while you sleep. In other words, wake up as less of a fat ass. WE ANSWER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS FROM OUR READERS "Wait, what? How the hell is The Container Store a destination? It's where you go to get weird little plastic boxes to store crap you, ahem, need. You don't just go to the container store to impulse buy, right?" - sterlingice I have a theory that the absolute explosion of home and garden television programming has really warped our sense of home. We see these absolutely pristine, sute, super-organized houses and spaces on television and then we look around at our own untidy, less organized homes and start feeling guilty or stressed or both. We already buy too much shit. Now we have to do something with it? Well, there's a store for that! __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com Last edited by Subby : 07-17-2012 at 09:47 AM.