[revrew]

Week 10 Results:

"Oh, the legs are getting tired as the season wears on. Some of our dominant teams didn't look quite so dominant this week.

Then, again, there is San Antonio. The Margaritas (7-2) picked up Fargo (1-8), then threw them back down again. Hard.

San Antonio's strategy was simple. Never let the 'Fish cross the 50-yard line. It wasn't until the third quarter, when QB Killer hit WR Shane for a 19-yard pickup that Fargo did cross the 50. And even though Fargo crossed again later, they never did get past the Margarita 20.

SA MLB Ray Lewis went double-digits in tackles again, DT Sack U picked up a pair of sacks, DE All Pro forced a fumble, and DE Ray O. Light grabbed a sack as well.

Meanwhile, the M&M boys pummeled Fargo behind the weakness-less offensive line, and San Antonio walks away with a brutal display of defensive prowess. Margaritas, 21-0."

*****
"For other defensive power, the LA Stars (8-1), however, it appears the aged DT Ed Norton has finally lost his legs. Against Chicago (1-8), Norton got pushed around, manhandled, and taken out of the game by the ever-dominant CH OG, Tom Sanders.

With Sanders blowing the holes wide open and FB Josh Hackenstein neutralizing the mighty MLB Brad Pitt, Chicago found a hole in the middle of the Star Crunch in which to run HB Randy Steele. Steele slammed, shifted, and spurt through the middle of the LA defense for 133 yards and 3 scores. LA safety Ray Liotta had to accumulate 17 tackles to slow the bleeding.

But speaking of bleeding, and speaking of old legs, the Chicago defense looked one step from the grave as the LA offense showed why the Stars are ready to grab their first title.

Chicago vet DE Jason Pepper was no match for LA OT Freddie Prinze, Jr., and OT Matthew McConaughey stuffed CH blazing rookie DE The Answer. Behind the OT screen, LA QB Bernie Mac lit up the sky. Rookie WR Ashton Kucher made a late-season bid for OROY, hauling in 168 yards and 2 scores. Fellow WR Joe Pesci also topped 100 and added his own TD strike.

With all the bombs flying around, the draw and delay worked wonders, and LA rookie HB Rodney Dangerfield streaked to a pair of scores himself.

The once great Eagle D gave up the ghost today. LA wins, 35-21."

*****
"LA won to advance to the championship game in week 11. But could Knoxville (8-1) follow suit? C'mon. They were playing Cinci (0-9).

But Knoxville showed a bit of tired legs themselves, particularly on the part of 37-year-old DT Uncle Jesse Jackson, who got roasted by Cinci rookie OG, So and So. With Cinci FB Pom Pom leading the way, Knoxville's middle (like LA's) was left horribly exposed. Cinci HB Bubs displayed another fine running game, this time racking up 144 yards on 30 carries, and punching in 3 scores.

In fact, Knoxville began to look a little vulnerable, tied with Cinci, 14-14 at the half.

But in the second half, a KX rookie stepped it up bigtime. CB Deion Jackson picked off a pair of CN QB James Earl Jones passes, and the field position enabled Knoxville to finish off the Chaps.

KX wins it big, but the score is a bit deceptive, 42-21."

*****
"The week's tightest, nail-bitinist game came in Birmingham, where the 3-6 Olympians hosted the Portland Sea Biscuits (6-3), who are riding a 5-game winning streak.

The league's best offensive line (PT) faced up against the best defensive line (BH). Portland entered the game a 3.5 point favorite, but frankly, I had my money on Birmingham. The Olympians have underachieved this year.

The defenses stepped it up immediately. Portland's 'Military Middle' bent a bit at the point of attack, but with MLB Sectoid Commander backing the line up, BH HB Artemis found zero room in the middle. Behind his rookie OT Cronus, Artemis managed a few yards, but Cronus and fellow young OT Atlas would have to give QB Zeus Reloaded some time to throw if the Olympians were going to topple Portland.

You remember how we were talking about tired legs?? How about 37-year-old PT HB Antonio De La Tonio. Tonio played the whole first quarter, but bumped and banged by a defensive line that would not let him pass, Antonio left the game after the first with 7 carries for -2 yards. Backup HB Ron Dayne fared litte better as the best D-line in football used a lot of speed to cover every gap. Wiht OLB Arkantos cleaning up the trash, Portland couldn't manage 50 total yards on the ground.

But the same could not be said for the air attack. Birmingham's CB Hades could not stop PT WR Manfred 'the ManChild, the Red Baron' von Richthofen. Manfred hauled in 14 passes, one for a TD.

Birmingham as well got a little air support as vet WR Revrew caught 8 passes for 103 yards and a score.

In the fourth quarter, the score was tied 7-7. Each defense had forced several 4 and outs, and the goallines hadn't seen much action.

With Portland driving for the win, BH DE Another Atlantis found some way to get around PT OT Lothar von Richthofen (Paddy O' has been sacked fewer times than any QB this season) and hit the Portland QB just as he released the ball.

Whether it affected the pass or not is hard to say, but it did affect the timing of the hot route, and Birmingham safety Odysseus stepped in front of the pass. He caught it, wriggled free of PT WR Khan Ogadai, danced around PT HB Ron Dayne and streaked to the endzone! It proved the decisive score as the Olympians protect home turf, winning 14-7."

*****
"Down in El Paso, GM JeeberD was looking to lead his Busters (4-5) over his former teammates, the Milwaukee Muscle Men (6-3).

To do it, Buster bash-backers would have to put the brakes on the most dominating running duo in the league, MW HB Ricky 'The Answer' Williams and MW FB Bulldozer. But Milwaukee chose to mix up the running game, trying to avoid EP dominant MLB Brian Bosworth by skirting around the outside. MW OT No Sacks Allowed played an excellent game, paving the way for Bulldozer to take out EP OLB Trev Alberts and HB Ricky Williams to pick up yards.

MW QB Dan Marino, Jr. pulled a bit of playaction and found young EP CB Bryan Westbrook too green to cover the veteran wideout The Flash.

Despite a solid buster effort, the Muscle Men were too well coached to be shut down.

For El Paso, the running game started strong, but soon MW OLB Superman keyed in on it, and the ground game ground to a halt. In the air, Ryan Leaf played a solid game through the first two quarters, tossing for 147 yards and a TD. But in the second half, Leaf was harrassed by MW all-star DE Rocky and OLB Superman on some cleverly disguised blitzes. An INT for rookie CB Patrick Surtain and and INT by "everywhere man" OLB Superman prevented the Busters from getting any more points on the board. MW wins, 21-7."

*****
"After the loss last week, Albuquerque (6-3) looked a bit demoralized. They'll finish a bridesmaid again, and before they can limp out the rest of the season, Little Rock (4-5), riding a 3-game winning streak, looked ready to pull an upset.

The Isotopes began in typical fashion, a Moe Sizzlack drive that resulted in a TD pass to WR The Cheat.

But on the first Willie possession, HB Rajah Saleem ran off tackle Renaldo Buckler, snuck behind a WR Stuart Rembert block, and streaked 80 untouched yards to the endzone.

After a couple of back and forths, Rajah scored again, and as we neared halftime, Little Rock held a 14-7 lead.

But, true to MVP form, Sizzlack led another long drive that resulted in another The Cheat TD before the half expired.

Albuquerque took the lead in the third on a HB Guy Incognito TD run, and then a Troy McClure INT brought an end to Little Rock's answering drive.

But just as AQ looked to put this thing away, LR DT Henry Blitzen and DE L.L.JeeberD met in the backfield, sandwiching Sizzlack and DT Lee Roy Buttersworth recovered the fumble.

This time, LR OT Keith 'Slap' Slapinski freed Rajah, and Saleem sprinted 94 yards for a score. Rajah ran for 254 yards on the day, including his 3 TDs.

The final, however, would be decided on a key play-action 3rd down play that sprung AQ WR Quagmire deep. LR Safety Beaumont Braxton had no hope of catching up 'Q', and 53 yards of 'he...could...go...all...the...way" ended with an Isotope victory, 28-21."

*****
Commish's recap
"The title all comes down to this next week. LA vs. KX for all the marbles. Will KX become our second two-time champ? Or will LA garner their first crown?

Looking at the matchup, LA DT Ed Norton looked tired against CH's OG Tom Sanders. Next week he faces an equally formidable foe in KX OG Fort Sumter Jackson. Knoxville will not be held scoreless. The matchup between KX FB veteran Samuel Jackson and LA MLB Brad Pitt will be crucial.

For L.A.'s offense, they will need to play mistake free. If they do, they should be able to put up enough points to support their D. Turnovers (or maybe even a kicker) will likely make the difference in this one.

Another game that should hold some interest, though on the opposite scale, is Fargo (1-9) vs. Cincinnati (0-10). Cinci may get their best shot at avoiding two winless seasons and 22 straight losses next week. Look for Chicago to watch this game intently as well."