Quote:
Originally posted by Coffee Warlord
Bob does not go for the field goal. Bob goes for it!
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"Portland GM, Coffee Warlord, says 'Go', so the young rookie, wanting to live up to his boss's spirit, sits #95 down and gives the ball to #8. Electronic Brad Banks, it's up to you now.
The Iowa offense approaches the line in a double tight end, strong side left, I-formation. The Iowa defense (in the white jerseys) crowds the line for a goalline stand.
On the snap, both I-backs run left and the whole line shifts. Brad Banks turns to pitch the ball left on a sweep. The linebackers read it and begin rolling to their right.
But then Banks pulls the ball back! It's a fake sweep, naked bootleg right! Banks turns and runs out into space. But the Hawkeye defensive end in white holds his assignment, fights off the tight end, and races out to hold containment.
Banks runs, but the defensive end is closing in...the endzone is cut off...Banks backpedals...
And #44, tight end star Dallas Clark has cut across the field from the left side! Against the grain, he's left the linebackers in the dust and is wide open on the right side of the endzone! Banks lofts the ball over the charging defensive end's head...TOUCHDOWN! TOUCHDOWN! Brad Banks to Dallas Clark for the win!
Bob Sunesson gets his second upset overtime victory of the year! (Sounds like Capital City Goofball from last season) Portland takes down the frontrunner, beating San Antonio, 3-0."
*****
"Some of the other games weren't nearly as exciting as that one, but let's recap. Knoxville (6-1) added to Chicago's (1-6) humiliation by trashing the Eagles.
The highlights, however, belong to Eagle HB Randy Steele. Randy broke off some giant runs through the gaping holes created by OG Tom Sanders and FB Josh Hackenstein. Steele added up 5 runs of 15 yards or more on way to a 203-yard, 3 TD day.
But big plays couldn't keep the Eagles in it, as their defense has completely collapsed. Knoxville chewed up the Eagles and spit them out with 3 TD passes and 3 TD runs. Every Redneck offensive player put on a good show as Knoxville wins, 42-21."
*****
"In Milwaukee, the Muscle Men (4-3) took no heed of Birmingham's (3-4) great defensive line, but instead allowed FB sensation Bulldozer to plow the way for HB Ricky Williams. Though Bulldozer had his hands full and didn't garner his usual great running day, Ricky Williams benefited from the 'Dozer's blocking effort to the tune of 118 yards and 3 TDs.
For Birmingham, though HB Artemis plowed through the line, he got NO further as MW MLB Zach 'Clog the middle' Thomas and OLB Superman ate him alive. Superman totalled 15 tackles on the day. Birmingham's lone score came on a 23-yard TD pass from 'ZR' to WR Apollo in the second.
Milwaukee holds field position and grinds out the clock on the way to a 21-7 victory."
*****
"Cincinnati's (0-7) only possibility of stopping Sizzlack and the Isotopes (5-2) was to keep it away with ball control.
The running game, Cinci's one true strength, did it's job, pouring on the yards and racking up 3 scores.
But CN safety Pan Pan could not contain AQ WR Quagmire, as 'Q' hauled in a pair of deep bombs and in the third, his third TD of the day.
AQ HB Guy Incognito continued to show his versatility, picking up a pair on the ground and one in the air.
Cinci's defense just could not hold back Sizzlack, who put up big numbers en route to a 42-21 victory."
*****
"As some expected, the Little Rock (2-5) vs. Fargo (1-6) matchup did prove a solid matchup. Both teams took advantage of weaker defenses to re-oil their offensive machines.
In the first possession, Little Rock made certain to strike first blood by running Rajah Saleem through every gap in every blocking assignment in the book. You could tell it was a scripted attempt to see what would work. It resulted in a 2-yard TD plunge, LR 7-0.
For the rest of the quarter, Fargo would be slowed by a LR DT Henry Blitzen sack, and the Willies were held back when FG CB F.Swaggs hauled in an INT.
In the second, Fargo tied it up as HB Glutton for Punishment followed a monster block from FB Ty Wick to a 7-yard TD run.
Just before the half, Saleem ran off OT Keith 'Slap' Slapinski for a 21-yard TD scamper, and the Willies were up at the half.
In the third, Fargo tied it up quick as young WR Tarek burned LR safety Beaumont Braxton and ran untouched 57 yards to paydirt.
Another Glutton TD, and then a Little Rock TD pass to WR Bruce Spinner brought us to the waning moments of the 4th with the score tied.
Deep in their own territory, Fargo needed to make a long drive, or run down the clock to overtime. On first down, QB Killer dropped back to try the pass, but pressured by LR DE L.L.JeeberD, he tossed the ball away. On second down, Glutton picked up 4 behind OG Matt. On third, Glutton managed 5 yards behind OT Stud, but got stopped short as LR DE Mark dragged him down from behind. Facing 4th and 1 on their own 29, Fargo let the clock run down. If they could just get the first, they could let the clock go to overtime.
From the I, FB Ty Wick doubled up Little Rock DT Lee Roy Buttersworth, as OG Eric sought to contain LR looping DE L.L.JeeberD. But just as Glutton for Punishment plunged through the hole, LR rookie DT Henry Blitzen slipped out of his block and leaped into the gap. CRASH! A streaking 225-lb halfback met a powerful young lineman packing 290 and a heap o' rage. Pulling the bodies away, the chains came out and rookie Blitzen won the battle. Turnover on downs with 29 yards and 29 seconds to go for the Willies.
On first down, the Willies lined up both receivers on the near side and then rolled the dice with a delayed HB sweep to Rajah. Saleem picked up 8 yards before playing it smart and stepping out of bounds to stop the clock. On the next play, QB David Slinger passed over the middle to WR Bruce Spinner, but Spinner got stopped just short by FG safety Safety Boy. Little Rock called their final timeout.
One play left in regulation...one play too many when Rajah Saleem is on the field. Rajah took the pitch left, but cut off by FG DE Chesty, spun back toward the middle. Saleem planted his foot in Safety Boy's face, then leaped backwards as Safety dove for his legs. Safety Boy landed square on his face with a fistful of nothin', then Rajah leaped over him, plowed into OLB Chris, and carried the 'backer into the endzone for 7 and the win.
Rajah 'Somebody better make me MVP' Saleem wins it for his club on a brilliant play. LR 28-21."
*****
Commish's recap:
"Portland spoils again! They did that to then-undefeated Knoxville a few years back, and now they do it to San Antonio. Suddenly, the title chase is clouded again!
San Antonio: 7-1
Los Angeles: 7-1
Knoxville: 7-1
Albuquerque: 6-2
The hunt for top draft picks is getting tight as well:
Cinci: 0-8
Chicago: 1-7
Fargo: 1-7
Now, if that three-way tie at the top holds out, it may come down to the cumulative defensive prowess of the Margarita Monsters vs. the Star Crunch.
But holding the tie may be tricky. For LA plays SA next week, and LA plays KX in week 11. LA has been the hottest team in the ZFL over the past several weeks. They must keep the fires burning if they want the crown! But it's there for the taking with a couple of key victories.
Next week, the expansion clubs face each other; LR plays CH; but most eyes will be on LA vs SA. Next week might just crown our champion!