Quote:
Originally Posted by Greyroofoo
A question to the parents (especially of adopted children) of FOFC...
This child allegedly was violent and had "sever psychopathic issues". He also supposedly drew a picture of his house burning and threatened to burn down the house with people in it.
How do you handle the child if the allegations are true? I mean I'm not a parent nor do I want to be, but the prospect of dealing with a kid like that scares me to death. Also it honestly makes me show a little bit more sympathy for the woman than what she's getting.
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I don't know the child's background but he is 7 years old. There is a pretty good bet that he was:
a) placed in a baby home at birth and grew up without anyone who loved him.
b) removed from his birth family because it was a bad enough situation that living in an orphanage was deemed more desirable.
He lost everything he ever knew. The place, the culture, the language, the smells, the food, the people, the expectations. Everything. Even the clothes on his back. Kids react in many different ways.
I don't doubt that this child had serious problems. The family no doubt had nothing but the best intentions. I don't doubt that the last 8 months have been hell. I did a lot of research on attachment before our adoption and I was really scared about the possibility of some sort of attachment disorder. It can tear a family apart.
I only know what little I have read so, like always, I'm sure there is more to the story but...
I do question this diagnosis of “is violent and has severe psychopathic issues.” Is this a self-diagnosis? Her agency said they last visited in January and all was ok. Huh? That is the FIRST place you go for help. They deal with families all the time with every range of problem. They can help you or they can put you in touch with someone who can. I don't think this family reached out for help to anyone. Love is not always enough. Sometimes you need professional help.
In any case, 8 months home is simply too soon to give up. And even if they have tried professional help, and it was clear that this situation was not going to work, you work with your agency to find the best possible solution for your child. Whether that is an institution, or another family who is better able to deal with the situation, or something else.
And I also blame the agency if they never educated this family about the availability of help. That they had no idea that this family was coming apart is also stunning.
But what they did is unforgivable. For both the boy and the thousands of other lives that will be greatly affected by this action.