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Eh, let's just do away with the handshake line. If you want to show respect to an opponent after the series, just go into his locker room or to his house and give him a blowjob. Nobody will feel forced to do it, so it'll only be done by the players who want to participate, and nobody will get mad if it doesn't happen.
I've gotta say, though, I'd love to hear a player say afterwards, "I can't believe I sucked his friggin' dick."
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No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.
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