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A couple from an episode on local syndication I saw today:
Lenny: You know, I always thought a guy with two wives would be really happy
Carl: No, it's a guy with two knives.
Moe (standing behind the bar holding two knives and laughing): Oh man this is great.
Drunken Homer: Well, the thing about my family is that there's five of 'em. Marge, Bart, girl-Bart, the one that doesn't talk, and the fat one. Oh how I loathe him...
Gabriel: I did a good job today, I really earned my Wings.
Homer: AH-HA! I knew you were an angel!
Gabriel: No, this CD (Best of Wings)
And some other random ones:
Lisa: I'll never take a stupid risk like that again.
Homer: I don't ever want to hear you say something like that. Stupid risks are what make life worth living.
Homer: Woohoo! In your face imaginary guy!
Marge: Homer, you can't pray to God for every little thing.
Homer: Can and will.
Homer: Who made you Judge Judy and Executioner?!?
Lawyer to Homer: Now you're my first client who actually is injured, and according to this book (law) that really help.
Flanders: I've got my twinkies and ding-dongs all mixed up
Homer: I mix twinkies and ding-dongs all the time. In Europe they call it a dinky.
Homer: I don't get it! I finally did a job where I was neither lazy, stupid, or corrupt, and I'm gonna get killed for it!
That's all I got now. Izout yizzo fo shizzo.
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