[The Afoci]

The First Events Start!

The First Event at the PreVictory Party II: This time we will score a goal! is the initial meet and greet of some early "special guests".

"You better guard your daughters or they will be" Les "their" Cherry"s" has already handed out the "gift basket" to SterlingIce's Tim "Shiver me" Kimber"s" and Mick "I am as pretty as Melissa" Starks and NevStar's "Crazy" Earl Freedom and "Not Quite As Crazy" Bogdan "I think this is similar to the unabomers last name so don't open my Christmas Cards" Kozuchowski. After opening the basket and seeing the contents, they all hurried to the secret hideout not so far from the New Fighting Crawfish Arena. After making sure no one would get glaucoma and many questions on what to do with a can of Jif, The Afoci addressed the few "special guests" he had selected for this secret meeting.

"I have selected you four to be here a day early for" starts The Afoci "for one reason, and that reason is this. You four are to return to the Hattrick world and reveal to the masses what I am about to show you. This is the result of many years of hard labor on my part and those of the three midgets and donkey from the Three Midgets and a Donkey Sexual Fantasy Camp for those with a Three Midget and a Donkey Fantasy. They are amazingly fun people and animals. The bonus is also that to midgets, I look huge. Well, at least bigger than usual. But I am going off topic here. What you are about to see is going to propel the Crawfish to the top of Hattrick and more importantly, World Domination."

The Afoci then walks to the incredible large "anti-glaucoma" device that is over seven feet tall and an odd tint of red glass.

"Behind this door is the most dangerous thing the world has ever seen" he continues, "You better guard your daughters or they will be" Les "their" Cherry"s", Please open the door!"

As he opens the door the room gasps in excitment and then screams in fear. What they saw was perhaps the most terrifying thing a man could see. It was perhaps the thing they expected to see the least but should have expected the most. It was none other than....

DataKing's star winger and someone who is already familiar with the Crawfish, Ben "Ed" McMahon and Chavez "the dope finding" Dog along with one can of half eaten Jif.

"What the hell?" says The Afoci?

"Ummm..." starts Ben "Ed" McMahon "well, it all started when owner Dataking told me about his "Screaming Seaman" birthday present you gave him!"

"Well, I suppose" said The Afoci.

"Well anyway" resumes Ben "Ed" McMahon "He enjoyed his present so thoroughly that he attempted to repeat the process, but to no avail. He sent me back to see what he did wrong. Well as it turns out, all he did wrong was instead of Jif, he used Jelly and instead of a Dog it was prison inmate. He has been ordering Tossed Salad's alot more though recently. Anyway, I got a game to get to, so see ya later."

And with that, he was gone. Stunned, SterlingIce's Tim "Shiver me" Kimber"s" and Mick "I am as pretty as Melissa" Starks and NevStar's "Crazy" Earl Freedom and "Not Quite As Crazy" Bogdan "I think this is similar to the unabomers last name so don't open my Christmas Cards" Kozuchowski looked at each other and then to The Afoci.

"Ah, screw it!" The Afoci says, "Lets Party!"

Tim "Shiver me" Kimber"s" put on a stunning display of grace and athleticism by doing repeated keg stands. He did however end the night by sleeping with a janitor. Sadly, his name was, well, to protect him, we won't say his name.

What happened to Mick "I am as pretty as Melissa" Starks is not a happy story, similiar to so many that come from here. He got into a fight with "Crazy" Earl Freedom about who was prettier, Janet Reno or The Ugly Lady from the Goonies. That is when Mick "I am as pretty as Melissa" Starks said obviously Janet Reno and that was followed by "Crazy" Earl Freedom saying "What did you say about my momma?" At that point it was reveal that "Crazy" Earl Freedom was actually the fat kid from the Goonies and his mother was the Ugly Lady from the Goonies. The fighting carried out into the street and no one is quite sure how it ended.

"Not Quite As Crazy" Bogdan "I think this is similar to the unabomers last name so don't open my Christmas Cards" Kozuchowski spent most of the night trying to ensure he wouldn't get glaucoma and typing his masterpiece on why the internet has corrupted the kids and porn. His claims are mainly that he was forced to look through dumpsters and scrambled tv stations for porn when kids nowadays get it everywhere. It was rather said too. He ended the night by attempting to give away his sunglasses and hat from a famous sketch someone once drew of him that is more familiar than the Mona Lisa. No one accepted.

But pehaps the weirdest thing of the night came when Raven Hawk's Lindsey "Please don't confuse me as a girl" Bentley and Costan Cinca "da mayo". Costan Cinca "da mayo" enjoyed numerous drinks and hooked himself up with one of the finest farm animals the world has ever seen. Those latinos are some crazy lovers. But the real tragedy came, and I mean came late. Really late. After Lindsey "Please don't confuse me as a girl" Bentley was very intoxicated and very high, he met up with resident stud, "You better guard your daughters or they will be" Les "their" Cherry"s". After finding out his name was Lindsey, he assumed he was a she and the beast with two backs turned into the beast with two backs and one man that screams in pain and agony and one who later runs and hides from embarassment. You can figure out the rest on your own as. Time for me to go hit the peace pipe and prepare for tonights matches.