Front Office Football Central - View Single Post - YAHD---Everyone panic! The Crawfish have lasers!!!

The Afoci · 05-19-2003, 10:08 AM

Its time for some lovin'

The smell of alcohol was very noticeable in the car as The Afoci pulled up to the secret hide out not so far from the Fighting Crawfish Arena. As his shiny, 1992 Green Pontiac Grand Prix pulled up, a guard came up to open his door. They ran into troubles because the door handle was missing. The Afoci opened it himself. From the back seat came what he referred to as "His Bitches". They were all escorted to the depths of secret hide out. His car was parked facing out incase of an emergency so they could leave with out putting it in reverse. It was necessary because the car lacked any power steering fluid. The Club was placed across the wheel, although it probably wasn't required considering he was the only one able to actually open the finely tuned piece of machinery.

As the three, The Afoci, a blonde and redhead, passed thru the first check point, music could be heard clearly coming from the next room. Some barking was also heard and The Afoci approached the door slowly and listened to what he could hear...

The first noise was the sound of Warrants Dog eat Dog album. The Afoci turned towards the ladies and says "that was a very underappreciated album." He then heard 2 very distinct barks. One was obviously Chavez "The dope finding" Dog.

At this point, there was really only one thing that would make since to do. Smoka la toka. Pulling a 4ft bong out from his pants and packing it, the ladies suddenly weren't so excited anymore. Within minutes, they all became very fluent in the language of dog.

"Yeah bitch, get on top" says Chavez "the dope finding" Dog "I am going to do you human style, like the slut dog you are..."

The Afoci jumps in to see a dog on top of Chavez "the dope finding" Dog. She gets off him and runs towards her collar, puts it back on and runs out of the secret hideout.

"What the hell man" says Chavez "the dope finding" Dog "That was a hot bitch, why didn't you check the door handle, I told you I would piss on it if I had a honey down hear."

The three humans all smell there hands and the door handle and say sorry. Chavez "the dope finding" Dog puts on his visor and his FUBU color and walks out "looking for some fine honeys".

The Afoci walks up to the futon and says to the ladies "Looks like a couch, right?"

"Yeah" they both reply.

He then folds it down to a bed, "Now look at this, the world’s most uncomfortable bed."

"OOOHHH" they both reply.

"So who hear likes peanut butter?" says The Afoci with a sly look on his face.

Confused they both raise there hands.

"Its tough work being the leader of a group determined to take over the world with Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws" says The Afoci "So sometimes I just like to relax." He turns on the CD player and Michael Jackson’s Dangerous starts playing. He sings to himself "I don't matter if your black or white, because you all can lick peanut butter from my sack."

Very confused the girls look at each other and with some fear they look back at him.

The Afoci starts taking off his clothes as he dances like Michael Jackson and looks seductively over to the ladies. "So what’s your favorite peanut butter?"

The both reply "Jif".

"Perfect" says The Afoci "OOOHHHH" he says as he grabs his crotch.

"That sounds just like Michael Jackson, how did you get such a high pitch?" asks the Blonde.

"I don't know?" says The Afoci examining his package, "It probably has something to do with this rash and open sore oozing puss."

"Yeah, probably" she replies.

Standing in a thong, The Afoci approaches the ladies. "So do you ladies like to role play?"

They both smile and say "Oh Yeah!"

He smiles and says "Hold on, let me go freshen up, I will be back in a moment" He then walks towards the bathroom and knocks a picture off one the shelves. "Oh ladies" says The Afoci as he bent over to pick it up.

They both ohhh and ahhh at the site.

Once in the bathroom, he glances at a picture of the greatest man with the ladies every. He then say The Hornsmaniac_2 Prayer.

"Dear Hornsmaniac_2, give me the power to be cocky and funny, as you have been cocky and funny. Please lead me to the way of picking up the honeys and please show me the way to make sure they are mostly female. Give me the power to show them that I don't want them and do all in one. Also, allow me to grow my mullet as full as yours. In your name I pray to get laid, Hornsmaniac_2, amen."

The Afoci glances at The Hornsmaniac_2 picture above the mirror and his WWHornsmaniac_2D bracelet "Be strong and tell them what you want, don't do what they want, its all about you, cocky and funny baby!"

He walks back out the ladies and does a little hop up to them. "Okay ladies, we are going to play a little game I call, Dog Catcher. Who wants to be the Lab and who wants to be the German Sheppard?"

Confused they look at each other and then the blonde steps forward, "I wanna be the lab".

"Okay" says The Afoci "Reddy, you’re a German Sheppard, now on all fours and run. I will take out my dog catching stick and chase you around."

They both get on all fours and begin running around like that. The Afoci then pulls off his thong and throws it to the ground. "Hmm, I will have to wipe better next time, anyway, here pooches." They both come towards him. "No bitches, it’s not fun if you come towards me, I have to catch, stay in character, and I haven't heard any barking!"

They both start to bark. "Shit, those are some angry dogs!" says The Afoci as he jumps up on the futon. He then jumps on the blondes back and wrestlers her to the ground. She fights some but he is able to tie up her hands and feet and places her on the bed. "Now sniff my ass like a dog would!" screams The Afoci.

She does and he lets a huge fart go. Laughing The Afoci says "I always wanted to do that, let me get something for your face, I didn't realize she was going to be a wet one...."

The Afoci then turns his attention to the German Sheppard. "You’re a mean dog, be mean baby!"

She runs up towards him barking the whole way.

"Feisty" says The Afoci "Just the way I like my dogs!" He then pulls out a baton(don't ask where from). "Time to take care of the angry dog!"

She gets up all scared, "This is too weird!"

The Afoci hits her in the knee with the baton screaming "Dogs don't stand up bitch, your ruining my mood!"

She then punches him in the sack and gets up. Both stand face to face. Her knee is bruised and his sack is hurt. They circle around each other in a fashion similar to that of Mortal Combat. She then kicks him in the sack and The Afoci drops to the ground. She continues to pummel him by kicking and punching him. The Afoci then retaliates with the worst move he can think of. A titty twister. She drops to the ground and starts to whither in pain.

"Dogs don't kick and punch bitch" The Afoci "They bite!" And with that she latches on to Little The Afoci. A sound so horrible and so loud could be heard throughout the whole state. The Afoci drops to the ground and is crying in the fetal position. The red head unties the blonde and they both leave.

"But no one licked peanut butter off my sack!" says The Afoci

They both look at each other and walk to him. The red head grabs a can of Jif as the Blonde ties him up.

"Kinky" says The Afoci.

"Yeah, sort of" they both reply.

After smearing peanut butter over Little The Afoci, the both leave and return a few minutes later with a dog that The Afoci has feared since he was little. That’s right the bitches brought back a.....a wiener dog!

As the bitches left, you could hear the screams of pain as the little dog nibbled away at Little The Afoci. But out of nowhere Chavez "the dope finding" Dog appears and rips the wiener dog to shreds. Both Chavez "the dope finding" Dog and The Afoci know what to do. They chase after the girls.

"He is humping my leg" screams the Blonde.

"There is nothing I can do" says the Redhead "This damn drug dog is chasing me...."

[Narrator]

As odd as it would seem from this story, both the redhead and the blonde are now supporters of The Fighting Crawfish. They are 2 of 9 new supporters. In my years of following The Afoci, documenting his life, I do have to say that that boy ain't right...

[/Narrator]

05-19-2003, 10:08 AM	#163
The Afoci Pro Rookie Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Moorhead	Its time for some lovin' The smell of alcohol was very noticeable in the car as The Afoci pulled up to the secret hide out not so far from the Fighting Crawfish Arena. As his shiny, 1992 Green Pontiac Grand Prix pulled up, a guard came up to open his door. They ran into troubles because the door handle was missing. The Afoci opened it himself. From the back seat came what he referred to as "His Bitches". They were all escorted to the depths of secret hide out. His car was parked facing out incase of an emergency so they could leave with out putting it in reverse. It was necessary because the car lacked any power steering fluid. The Club was placed across the wheel, although it probably wasn't required considering he was the only one able to actually open the finely tuned piece of machinery. As the three, The Afoci, a blonde and redhead, passed thru the first check point, music could be heard clearly coming from the next room. Some barking was also heard and The Afoci approached the door slowly and listened to what he could hear... The first noise was the sound of Warrants Dog eat Dog album. The Afoci turned towards the ladies and says "that was a very underappreciated album." He then heard 2 very distinct barks. One was obviously Chavez "The dope finding" Dog. At this point, there was really only one thing that would make since to do. Smoka la toka. Pulling a 4ft bong out from his pants and packing it, the ladies suddenly weren't so excited anymore. Within minutes, they all became very fluent in the language of dog. "Yeah bitch, get on top" says Chavez "the dope finding" Dog "I am going to do you human style, like the slut dog you are..." The Afoci jumps in to see a dog on top of Chavez "the dope finding" Dog. She gets off him and runs towards her collar, puts it back on and runs out of the secret hideout. "What the hell man" says Chavez "the dope finding" Dog "That was a hot bitch, why didn't you check the door handle, I told you I would piss on it if I had a honey down hear." The three humans all smell there hands and the door handle and say sorry. Chavez "the dope finding" Dog puts on his visor and his FUBU color and walks out "looking for some fine honeys". The Afoci walks up to the futon and says to the ladies "Looks like a couch, right?" "Yeah" they both reply. He then folds it down to a bed, "Now look at this, the world’s most uncomfortable bed." "OOOHHH" they both reply. "So who hear likes peanut butter?" says The Afoci with a sly look on his face. Confused they both raise there hands. "Its tough work being the leader of a group determined to take over the world with Crawfish with Laser Blasters instead of Claws" says The Afoci "So sometimes I just like to relax." He turns on the CD player and Michael Jackson’s Dangerous starts playing. He sings to himself "I don't matter if your black or white, because you all can lick peanut butter from my sack." Very confused the girls look at each other and with some fear they look back at him. The Afoci starts taking off his clothes as he dances like Michael Jackson and looks seductively over to the ladies. "So what’s your favorite peanut butter?" The both reply "Jif". "Perfect" says The Afoci "OOOHHHH" he says as he grabs his crotch. "That sounds just like Michael Jackson, how did you get such a high pitch?" asks the Blonde. "I don't know?" says The Afoci examining his package, "It probably has something to do with this rash and open sore oozing puss." "Yeah, probably" she replies. Standing in a thong, The Afoci approaches the ladies. "So do you ladies like to role play?" They both smile and say "Oh Yeah!" He smiles and says "Hold on, let me go freshen up, I will be back in a moment" He then walks towards the bathroom and knocks a picture off one the shelves. "Oh ladies" says The Afoci as he bent over to pick it up. They both ohhh and ahhh at the site. Once in the bathroom, he glances at a picture of the greatest man with the ladies every. He then say The Hornsmaniac_2 Prayer. "Dear Hornsmaniac_2, give me the power to be cocky and funny, as you have been cocky and funny. Please lead me to the way of picking up the honeys and please show me the way to make sure they are mostly female. Give me the power to show them that I don't want them and do all in one. Also, allow me to grow my mullet as full as yours. In your name I pray to get laid, Hornsmaniac_2, amen." The Afoci glances at The Hornsmaniac_2 picture above the mirror and his WWHornsmaniac_2D bracelet "Be strong and tell them what you want, don't do what they want, its all about you, cocky and funny baby!" He walks back out the ladies and does a little hop up to them. "Okay ladies, we are going to play a little game I call, Dog Catcher. Who wants to be the Lab and who wants to be the German Sheppard?" Confused they look at each other and then the blonde steps forward, "I wanna be the lab". "Okay" says The Afoci "Reddy, you’re a German Sheppard, now on all fours and run. I will take out my dog catching stick and chase you around." They both get on all fours and begin running around like that. The Afoci then pulls off his thong and throws it to the ground. "Hmm, I will have to wipe better next time, anyway, here pooches." They both come towards him. "No bitches, it’s not fun if you come towards me, I have to catch, stay in character, and I haven't heard any barking!" They both start to bark. "Shit, those are some angry dogs!" says The Afoci as he jumps up on the futon. He then jumps on the blondes back and wrestlers her to the ground. She fights some but he is able to tie up her hands and feet and places her on the bed. "Now sniff my ass like a dog would!" screams The Afoci. She does and he lets a huge fart go. Laughing The Afoci says "I always wanted to do that, let me get something for your face, I didn't realize she was going to be a wet one...." The Afoci then turns his attention to the German Sheppard. "You’re a mean dog, be mean baby!" She runs up towards him barking the whole way. "Feisty" says The Afoci "Just the way I like my dogs!" He then pulls out a baton(don't ask where from). "Time to take care of the angry dog!" She gets up all scared, "This is too weird!" The Afoci hits her in the knee with the baton screaming "Dogs don't stand up bitch, your ruining my mood!" She then punches him in the sack and gets up. Both stand face to face. Her knee is bruised and his sack is hurt. They circle around each other in a fashion similar to that of Mortal Combat. She then kicks him in the sack and The Afoci drops to the ground. She continues to pummel him by kicking and punching him. The Afoci then retaliates with the worst move he can think of. A titty twister. She drops to the ground and starts to whither in pain. "Dogs don't kick and punch bitch" The Afoci "They bite!" And with that she latches on to Little The Afoci. A sound so horrible and so loud could be heard throughout the whole state. The Afoci drops to the ground and is crying in the fetal position. The red head unties the blonde and they both leave. "But no one licked peanut butter off my sack!" says The Afoci They both look at each other and walk to him. The red head grabs a can of Jif as the Blonde ties him up. "Kinky" says The Afoci. "Yeah, sort of" they both reply. After smearing peanut butter over Little The Afoci, the both leave and return a few minutes later with a dog that The Afoci has feared since he was little. That’s right the bitches brought back a.....a wiener dog! As the bitches left, you could hear the screams of pain as the little dog nibbled away at Little The Afoci. But out of nowhere Chavez "the dope finding" Dog appears and rips the wiener dog to shreds. Both Chavez "the dope finding" Dog and The Afoci know what to do. They chase after the girls. "He is humping my leg" screams the Blonde. "There is nothing I can do" says the Redhead "This damn drug dog is chasing me...." [Narrator] As odd as it would seem from this story, both the redhead and the blonde are now supporters of The Fighting Crawfish. They are 2 of 9 new supporters. In my years of following The Afoci, documenting his life, I do have to say that that boy ain't right... [/Narrator] __________________ I had something. Last edited by The Afoci : 05-19-2003 at 10:10 AM.